


A notecard to the dead

by MickeyJrWrites



Series: To build a home [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Holy Fucking Shit, I am shaking and crying here, Some angst, but not too much, not too much angst my emotionally traumatised arse, or as some like to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 83,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MickeyJrWrites/pseuds/MickeyJrWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new assassin is in town, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. SHIELD will do anything to stop them. But will they ever discover who is behind all these killings? And what will happen if they do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Natasha, Barton. I need you two in my office.” Maria’s voice came through the SHIELD communication system.

Clint huffed, “How come you are _Natasha_ , and I’m still Barton?”

Nat grinned impishly, waggling her eyebrows, “You know why.”

“Gross.” Barton muttered, but he couldn’t help but smile as he trailed behind Natasha who practically skipped her way to the AD’s office.

Even he felt the butterflies in his stomach when the two women shared a loving smile in greeting.

Clint was happy for them. It wasn’t easy, loving with a job like theirs, but somehow Nat and Maria made it work. And how. He had never seen two people who understood each other with such ease.

Her “Natasha-smile” as Clint called it, was quickly replaced by her Deputy Director no-nonsense scowl as Maria Hill got down to business.

“We have received a tip from an insider.” Maria pulled some photos from a manila folder and spread them out on her desk, “Police think they might have a serial killer on their hands.”

Natasha frowned, “We don’t deal in serial killers Maria, what’s the catch?”

“Look at the photos,” Maria urged, “Those are all the victims that they can tie to this murderer.”

Clint pulled his nose up in disgust as he took a closer look at the gruesome pictures.

“They’re too different.” Natasha mused as she saw what Maria meant.

“Exactly. Different ages, genders, cities, races, jobs,” Maria listed, “Either these kills are extremely random, or we have a contract killer.”

“How does he kill them?” Clint asked carefully, noting the amount of blood shown on the pictures.

Maria pulled a face, “Garrote.”

“Tricky weapon.” The assassin in the room muttered. She grabbed a photo and inspected it a little closer, “He’s very skilled.”

“Don’t say that about a killer.” Clint protested, looking a little disturbed.

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Oh don’t be a baby Barton, you know how I meant it. This is trained killing. Our suspect is obviously an assassin.”

She focused back on Maria, “Tell the police that they should find out who these victims pissed off. Maybe they can find the person who made the call.”

“I tried, but the police seems focused on one guy. They’re certain he did it.” Maria handed them a picture of a very angry looking man, “He has a history of psychotic episodes and violence. And he’s a butcher.”

“He didn’t do it though.” Clint stated, “Too unstable for a clean kill like these.”

Natasha nodded her agreement, “These aren’t aggressive murders, it’s too calculated.”

“That’s what I thought too.” Maria smiled grimly, “Glad to know I’m not alone in this.”

“What do you need us to do?” Clint asked.

“Spy.” Maria had a cheerful glint in her eye as she started barking orders at her agents, “Barton, I want duplicates of all the police files and autopsy reports of these people. Nat, you’ll ask around. See if you know a guy who knows a guy. If our killer is a gun for hire, someone will know how to contact him. I’ll dig into their lives,” Maria waved her hand to the pictures of all the victims, “see what they did to get themselves killed.”

“Yes sir.” The two specialist agents responded.

“Good. Barton, you’re dismissed.”

“Huh?” The archer furrowed his brow, “What about Natasha?”

Natasha grinned widely, “Hush, you know I’m her favorite.”

Maria sighed, “Nat, shut up, and Barton, get out. Unless you so desperately need to know what my dinnerplans are with my wife?”

* * *

“Dinner is in the microwave! You just have to push the button.” Maria called out as soon as Natasha entered their shared home.

“Thanks babe.” Natasha called back, thanking her lucky stars for a wife like Maria. She honestly wasn’t sure what she did to deserve her.

She made her way to the kitchen and pushed the button on the microwave as instructed.

Maria’s head popped in, and Natasha smiled at how choppy and ragged her hair looked after a day of work.

“How did it go?” Maria asked curiously.

“Meh,” The redhead shrugged, “I asked around, made a little web. Now it’s just a waiting game. I’ll catch something soon.”

“I love it when you get all Black Widow on me.” Maria grinned, hopping over for a kiss.

“What about Clint?”

Maria shrugged, leaning against the counter. “I haven’t heard from him yet. No news is good news, I guess. I don’t plan on bailing him out. Again.”

Natasha chuckled, taking her now warm plate of spaghetti out of the microwave, “This looks good babe.”

They settled down at the table, Maria poured her a glass of wine and grabbed a bottle of beer for herself.

“Would have been better if you were on time though.” The comment was said teasingly, but Natasha could easily sense her wife’s frustration.

“I’m sorry.” Natasha kissed her cheek, “I really tried to be done on time.”

“I know, it’s fine.” She assured her, “You send a text so I wasn’t worried, it’s just… not fun.”

Natasha nodded her agreement, “I’ll try harder next time.”

“Thank you baby.” Maria smiled, “Hey Nat?”

“Mmmh?” Natasha mumbled through a mouth full of food, a piece of spaghetti dangling on her chin.

Maria rolled her eyes at her lack of manners, though she did find it oddly charming to have Natasha Romanoff, the feared Black Widow, at her table, chewing hastily with spaghetti sauce covering her lips.

“You’re a pig.” Maria laughed, throwing a napkin at her wife.

“You love me.” Natasha smiled, “But that wasn’t what you were going to tell me?”

“Oh right. I was just thinking about our case.” Maria sighed, picking at the label on her bottle, “It just doesn’t sit right with me. How come we’re only hearing about this killer now? The precision in the attacks… it’s a skill that takes years and years to perfect. Where has this guy been all those years?

Natasha nodded, “I was thinking the same thing. Where did he practice. And on who?”

“Exactly. So I dug a little, but nowhere in the world has there been a series of unexplained garrote-kills.” The taller woman threw her hands up in frustration, “Like, how is that possible?”

“Military.” Natasha offered, “Special forces work with garrotes, don’t they?”

“Yeah, but they go through so many psychological evaluations.” Maria shook her head, “I’m not saying it’s impossible, but it is unlikely.”

Natasha looked at her wife, cocking her head as she studied her familiar face. “Something is bothering you.”

“Yeah, this case.”

“No.” Natasha placed her hand on Maria’s knee, “There’s something on your mind. I know you Maria, out with it.”

Maria groaned, “Fine! Just don’t get upset.”

“I’ll try to be reasonable.” Nat promised.

“Special forces aren’t the only ones who teach their recruits how to handle a garrote.” Maria said quietly.

“You’re implying…”

“Red Room.”

Natasha took a heavy breath, “Those were my thoughts too. I already included them in my search.”

“Oh… okay.” Maria eyed her carefully, “Do you want to talk about that?”

“Not particularly.” Natasha pursed her lips, “I just asked around a bit, no one really seemed to know anything. Like I said, it’s a waiting game.”

“I’m not talking about your search Nat. I’m talking about Red Room possibly being here.” Natasha was bullshitting her, and Maria wasn’t having it.

“Maria…” Natasha’s eyes softened, “I don’t want to think about that until I have actual real evidence that they are here. Don’t worry so much, I won’t defect to their side.”

Maria scooted her chair closer, and wrapped her arms around her redhead, “I’m not worried about you defecting babe. I trust you. I worry about you going after them without using your brain. I worry about you not coming home to me.”

Natasha kissed her oh so softly, “That’s kinda the job baby. I worry about you too. But I promised you that I would always fight as hard as I can to come back home to you. I love you.”

Maria smiled, leaning in for another kiss. “I love you Nat.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I found something!” Clint strode into Maria’s office with a stack of papers under his arm, “I got all the files, like you asked, and I was going through them and I found this.”

Barton fished a few papers out of the stack and put them in front of the Deputy Director.

“That killer? He leaves notes.”

Maria frowned, attentively reading the pages.

“ _Tell his daughter_ … _I had to_ … _I’m sorry_ …” she read a few of them out loud, “Barton… These are apologies.”

Clint nodded, “He left a note with every victim. He never explains why he did it, but he always apologizes.”

“That’s…” Maria searched for the right word, before finally settling on “disturbing.”.

“Yeah…” Clint agreed, “But also very odd for someone who specializes in slicing peoples’ throats.”

Maria didn’t respond, but her mind was racing. An apology was for someone who felt remorse. _I had to_ … the note sticks out like a sore thumb. It made it sound like someone was forcing him to kill these people.

Her Red Room suspicion only grew larger. Maria felt a little sick.

“Natasha went to get us all some coffee. She should be here soon.” Clint said, oblivious to Maria’s inner turmoil, “I thought that we could go through everything together? Three minds are stronger than one.”

“Yeah, sure.” Maria was barely listening to him. Her brain kept screaming Red Room! Red Room! Red Room! over and over again.

“I got coffee!” Natasha waltzed in with a big smile.

“Clint, your soy caramel macchiato, that’s my latte, and Maria, your black coffee. No cream, no sugar, no nonsense.” Natasha put the steaming cup on her desk with a grin and a flourish before looking at her wife and frowning, “Maria? What’s wrong?”

“Our killer leaves notes.” Maria said quietly, “I… I don’t think he’s killing these people out of free will Nat. Someone… Something is forcing him.

“You can’t be sure of that.” Natasha protested weakly as the color drained out of her face.

“I’m not sure of it,” Maria conceded, “But… it really seems like it.”

“Like what?” Barton asked a little curious and a lot scared. Whatever it was that could make these two women shake in their boots, it would no doubt terrify anyone else.

Natasha swallowed, “Red Room.”

Yup. **Terrified**.

“Let me see those notes” Natasha demanded. Her face was a little pale, but her angry scowl was still firmly in place.

Maria wordlessly handed her the copies of the notes that Clint had taken.

Natasha frowned in concentration, flipping through the pages.

Maria and Clint just stared at her, nervous to make any noise that could pull the redhead out of her concentration.

Natasha finally looked up after a few minutes, “Can I write on these?”

“Why?” Maria asked confused.

“To make a point.” Natasha grabbed a marker from Maria’s desk and uncapped it. “Can I?”

“Go ahead.”

Maria watched bemused as Natasha furiously started marking the pages, her tongue peeking out from between her red lips.

By Thor, she loved that woman.

“There.” Natasha dropped the pages in front of her triumphantly, “See that?”

Maria bend over the notes, trying to see what her wife has seen. “You just highlighted random words Nat. Is it a code?”

“It’s not the word babe.” Natasha seemed gleeful, using a petname that she normally only used in the comfort of their home, “It’s the smudge.”

“The smudge?” Maria repeated doubtfully. Maybe the potential Red Room threat had gone to her wife’s head a little.

“Yes! That, my dear wife, is a lefty-smudge.”

Clint cleared his throat, “What is a lefty-smudge?”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Lefthanded people, when they write, their hand brushes over what they’ve previously written. They smudge the ink. A lefty-smudge.”

“Okay so we’re looking for a lefthanded person. Nat, how does that help us?” Clint sighed.

“Because, there is no way that anyone leaves Red Room lefthanded.” Natasha explained happily, “It’s an old-fashioned thing, something about bad luck. Every Red Room assassin is righthanded.”

“So our killer is not Red Room?” Maria concluded tentatively.

Nat grinned widely, “Highly unlikely.”

Maria smiled, feeling the relief flood through her body.

“Well, if it’s not Red Room…” Clint asked, “Then what the hell is it?”


	3. Chapter 3

“Romanoff.” Natasha picked up her phone without looking.

“ _Nattie?_ ” Maria’s steady voice came through the speaker, “ _We just got a tip from an informant. There’s another victim. I send you the address._ ”

“Okay hon, I’m on it.” Natasha responded, already veering out of her seat.

“ _Take Barton with you._ ” Maria ordered, “ _The police doesn’t know yet, so you’ll have enough time. Take pictures, but don’t touch anything. And be careful._ ”

“Always.” Natasha promised, “I love you.”

“ _I love you too Nat._ ” Maria hung up.

“Barton! Get your ass in gear!”

* * *

“So, how are things with Maria?” Clint asked, slipping in the passenger’s seat of their SHIELD-issued SUV.

Natasha frowned at him. “It’s great. Why would you ask?”

“Just curious.” Barton shrugged with a smile. “How long have you been together now?”

“Uhmm five years?” Natasha thought about it, “Almost five years, married for two.”

Clint pulled an impressed face. “That’s pretty long huh?”

The assassin raised an eyebrow at him, “Barton, if you have something to say about Maria, you say it now, or you shut up. I don’t like this high school gossip thing you’re trying to pull off.”

Barton scratched his chin, “I’m just thinking, you know. You’ve been together so long, and you’re both not getting any younger…”

“Give me one good reason not to shoot you right now?” Natasha deadpanned.

“Okay, okay.” Clint threw his hands up with a chuckle, “I’m not mentioning age again. I was just wondering, or maybe hoping, that maybe we might have a mini Maria Hill wandering around soon?”

Natasha send him a deathglare, “My marriage is none of your business Barton.”

“I’m taking that as a no on the baby department?”

“Clint, don’t talk about again okay?” Natasha looked sad, “And please don’t say anything with Maria around?”

Clint turned serious, “Are there problems?”

Natasha nodded, her shoulders sagging a bit. “It breaks her heart. She says it isn’t a big deal, she jokes about getting ten cats instead, but I see it in her eyes every time she sees a little child. It hurts her Clint. So don’t you dare hurt her.”

“I won’t say anything.” Clint swore, “If there’s anything I can do?”

“There isn’t.” Natasha smiled sadly at his gesture, “I guess it just isn’t meant to be.”

* * *

The body was found in an abandoned building just outside the city.

“She was killed here.” Natasha remarked, pointing at the pool of blood around the dead woman.

“Recent kill too.” Barton noted, “She’s still warm.”

Natasha walked a circle around the body, studying the dead woman intently. “So he lured her here, and then snuck up on her with a garrote? It seems a bit… too much? If he brought her here, then why sneak?”

Clint shrugged, “Maybe he followed her here?”

Natasha nodded, that did seem like the logical answer. “But what was she doing in an abandoned building?”

“Something bad enough to get her killed, I guess.”

Natasha let her eyes roam the body again. “Barton? Don’t you think she seems a bit strong? Like, more fit than you would suspect of a woman her age?”

“Yeah maybe? I don’t really know Nat.”

They scanned the area in silence, hoping to find something, anything that could help them.

“Nat! I found the note!” Clint’s yell made the redhead jog over.

“ _This one I’m not sorry about_.” Natasha read, “What the hell?”

“I don’t know. But I guess she did something that pissed him off.”

Natasha rolled her eyes at the man, “No shit Sherlock. Can you take the photographs? I’m going to call Maria.”

“Tell her I said hi.” Clint grinned cheekily.

“Never.”

Natasha stalked back to the car. She was just pulling her phone out when something caught her eye.

Taped in the middle of the windshield was a yellow note.

Exactly like the one she had just seen inside.

“CLINT!” she yelled, already pulling her side piece and scanning the area.

Barton ran towards her. “What is it?” He asked, noting her gun and blazing eyes.

Natasha wordlessly pointed at the note. She heard him mutter a curse, but she wasn’t really paying him any attention.

Her eyes were frantically searching for something, someone that seemed off. She had to notice something. But nothing stood out.

“Uh Nat?” Barton pulled her attention.

“What does it say?” She asked, putting her gun away and trying to quell the anger inside.

Clint grimaced. “It says: _She was a HYDRA field agent. I’m guessing you guys know what to do with that. By the way, nice SUV, no one will ever notice you’re the government_. And then a winky face.”

“чертовски дерьмо” Natasha swore loudly. “He was right here!”

Barton looked more serious than ever, “We’re going to have to call for a ride back to the Triskelion. He could have easily boobytrapped the SUV.”

Natasha’s scowl worsened, “He’s making fun of us. I’m going to kill him. Let’s see how funny he is on the other side of that garrote.”

“Take a breath Natasha.” Barton reminded her, “We’ll get him.”

“Yeah, and I’m going to rip his fucking spine out, мудак.”

* * *

“Interesting” was all Maria had to say about the note. Natasha nearly popped a vein.

The Deputy Director send Barton home for the day and focused on her wife.

“Nat? You’re being very angry.” Maria squeezed her shoulders, trying to massage the tension away.

“And you are being very calm.” Natasha accused. She immediately regretted it, sagging a little in her chair. “I’m sorry Maria. I just… fuck, he was right there! Watching us! And I didn’t notice a fucking thing!”

“You didn’t know you were supposed to be looking.” Maria soothed, her hands still working Natasha’s shoulders.

“And then that note.” Natasha almost growled, getting worked up all over again, “Who does he think he is? Mocking me! I’m going to fucking murder that pompous…”

“Woah! Calm down baby.” Maria interrupted her ranting. “All this because of that note? A piece of paper? Babe, come on.”

Natasha glared at her wife, “I’m a spy Maria. I’m supposed to be stealthy! And he mocked me!”

“But sweetie,” Maria tried, “You weren’t trying to be stealthy, at all. If you were, he would have never noticed you.”

“Damn right he wouldn’t.” Natasha muttered, pouting a little.

Sagged in her chair, with her creased forehead and pout, Natasha reminded her of a child that didn’t get her way. She just couldn’t help but tease her wife a little.

Maria grinned, “Oooh, did the big bad murderer hurt my little spider’s pride?”

The redhead narrowed her eyes, “Don’t you dare Maria.”

“You’re adorable Nattie.” Maria was chuckling.

“Am not!” Natasha huffed, “And don’t call me Nattie.”

“I’ll call you whatever I want Wifey.” Maria grinned, pulling Natasha up and into her arms, and whispering into her ear “Now, what do you say about going home, taking a warm bath, and then I might just boost your poor hurt ego. All. Night. Long.”

Maria leaned in for a kiss, but Natasha swooped her off her feet, hoisting the taller woman over her shoulder and ran through the Triskelion with a squealing Maria in her arms, all the way to their car. Maria couldn’t even pretend to be mad

* * *

Natasha was humming when she left the apartment in the morning. Maria had an early meeting so she left at the crack of dawn.

Normally that would mean a cranky Natasha for the rest of the day, but today there was an extra spring in her step and a guilty smirk on her face. Maria had _so_ made up for having to leave early.

It was beautiful outside, and Maria had taken the car to the Triskelion, so that meant that today, Natasha could take her Katja to work.

Katja was the beautiful red and black motorbike that Maria had bought for her. It was a gift for managing not to wreck any SHIELD vehicle for an entire month.

Her helmet under her arm, Maria had insisted on one, Natasha Romanoff strutted to her bike.

She was tying her hair up in a ponytail to avoid helmet hair, when she noticed something.

Someone had pasted a little post-it note on her saddle.

Instinctively, her eyes traced the entire street, even though she knew that she would not see anything.

Natasha hated to admit it, but her heart was pounding in her throat when she grabbed the note.

“ _I was only joking, not mocking you. I apologize Black Widow.”_


	4. Chapter 4

“Natasha! Will you stop pacing!” Clint grumbled, “I need to fill out this paperwork, and I can’t do it with you bouncing around like that!”

Natasha only huffed in response.

“If I don’t get this to Maria on time, I’m throwing you under the bus Romanoff.” Barton threatened.

“Your paperwork would go a lot faster if you would just shut up.” Natasha suggested with a cold gleam in her eyes.

Clint sighed, grumbling “I so don’t have time for this.” under his breath.

“Sit down Nat.” He pointed to her empty chair, “Sit and tell me what’s bothering you so much.”

“I don’t take orders from you Barton.” Natasha stalked to the door angry, letting it slam shut behind her.

She found herself wandering the familiar path to Maria’s office.

“We have… Natasha!” Maria looked startled when Natasha burst through her door, “I’m in a meeting.” She motioned to Fury sitting in front of her.

Natasha didn’t acknowledge either of them, plunking herself solemnly in a chair in the corner. One that Maria had put there specifically for her wife all those years ago, when they were still just friends. A place where she could retreat when the Triskelion became too much to bear for the tiny assassin.

Director Fury glared at Natasha, but she didn’t pay him any mind.

Maria shut her eyes and scratched her forehead in embarrassment.

“Well, I think our meeting is adjourned.” Fury stated curtly, “Next one will be held in my office.”

“Yes sir.” Maria agreed sheepishly.

“Agent Romanoff, Maria.” Nick nodded his goodbyes and left the two women alone.

Maria let out an exasperated sigh.

“I want out.” Natasha grumbled quietly, “I don’t want to chase that assassin anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

Natasha took a deep breath, “I don’t like this case.”

“Because he made fun of you?” Maria asked, “Nat we talked about this!”

Natasha glared. Her hand was in her pocket, scrunching up the note she found this morning. Clear evidence that the assassin knew where she lived, where Maria lived.

Yet she didn’t say anything. As much as she wanted to, something was holding her back.

She was ashamed. She had let her guard down, underestimated her target and so she had let him straight to her home. She had become the target.

“Natasha.” Maria pulled her out of her thoughts, “What is wrong?”

“Nothing.” Natasha stood up and moved to the door, “Sorry for bothering you.”

“Nat.” Maria tried to stop her, but the redhead was already gone.

* * *

Natasha found herself in the park across from the Triskelion.

She came here quite often, when the bustle of saving the world threatened to become too much for her. It was nice to have a spot where she could just breath.

She sat down on her favorite bench, the one that overlooked the pond. Her mind brought her back to that one time when she had just married Maria.

She remembered how she had sat on this exact same bench, looking at a toddler trying to feed the ducks. The child’s uncoordinated throwing made her laugh a little. Every time that chubby little arm shot forward to throw, the child wobbled precariously.

Out of the corner of her she had seen his parents, watching the child like hawks, but with soft smiles of utter happiness on their faces.

She wanted that.

Natasha had rushed home, making Maria actually squeak in surprise when she threw the door open.

“I’m ready.” Natasha had blurted the words out.

She remembered the look Maria had given her. First she had frowned at her, confused as to what Natasha meant. Then her mouth fell open, trying to get words out, but not quite succeeding. And then she had smiled at Natasha, wide and happy, as happy as she had ever seen her. Maria had ran towards her and jumped into her arms, pressing kisses everywhere on her face.

They were happy. So happy.

Natasha remembered the doctors’ appointments. The needles and pills that Maria all took with a smile. Because they were doing this. Finally.

She thought back to all the pregnancy tests she had bought. That nervous excitement rushing through her belly. She remembered the hope.

She remembered the deflation, the defeated look on Maria’s face every time the test came out negative. More doctors followed. More needles. More everything.

That excitement turned to sadness after months and months of trying.

Natasha had fought many battles, though no one had ever hit her quite so hard as the doctor who told them just how very sorry he was. That it just wasn’t going to happen.

Maria had locked herself in their bedroom when they came back home. Natasha knew she should talk to her wife, but she just couldn’t figure out how. She had sat outside that door, listening to the loud, heartbroken sobs. She sat there all night. Unable to do anything that could take the pain away.

Natasha remembered the weeks after that. How they were so lost in their own pain. So lost they forgot each other. Natasha hated to remember how close they came to just walking away from each other.

It had taken a punch and a very unfortunate SHIELD agent to make them talk to each other again. Maria was sparring, but distracted. The poor man accidentally socked her in the jaw when she let her guard slip. Natasha had seen it all happen, and was on him in an instant. Yelling at his incompetence in between punches.

All the pent up frustration, disappointment, and utter sadness had been unleashed on that man. Natasha was sobbing by the time Maria finally pried her off of him. She had never seen that agent again.

Maria had ushered her to her office, had taken care of her with soft hands and even softer words. They had talked. For the first time in what seemed like forever, they talked. About what they lost, what could have been.

Slowly but steadily, their relationship was mended. But Natasha still felt the pain. The shame of not being able to give her wife the one thing she wanted more than anything.

They barely talked about it now, it hurt them both too much. But when they did, Natasha could still hear the longing in Maria’s voice. She knew there was a void in her heart that Natasha would never be able to fill.

They assured each other they were happy with their life together as is was, and Natasha believed that. Their love was stronger than ever, Maria was more beautiful than ever, every day was amazing. And there was so much love, so much, all that extra love would be perfect to share with one more tiny person.

Natasha sighed, rubbing at her eyes. It would have been perfect.

She stood up to make her way back to the Triskelion to apologize to Maria. She hadn’t deserved Natasha’s bad mood earlier.

Out of the blue, a bunched up paper hit her in the back of the head. Assuming Clint had followed her, Natasha turned around with a glare.

She was all alone in the park.

“Not funny Barton.” Natasha grumbled picking the paper up.

She smoothed it out, her breath hitched as she saw the now familiar handwriting.

_What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!_

_Lame joke, I know. You seem sad, I thought you could use it._

_I’m not hunting you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m just checking out the competition._

_Have a good day Widow._

* * *

Natasha hid the notes. From her wife and from Clint. She couldn’t understand why she did it, but she did nevertheless.

She made her way home carefully that evening. Watching the cars she drove past, watching everything. And she didn’t notice a goddamn thing that was off. Nothing.

She practically snuck her way from her parking spot to their apartment, convinced that someone could jump out and kill her at any second.

The note said that she wasn’t being hunted, but there was no way she was taking that man’s word for it.

It didn’t feel like she was being watched. Which either mean that she wasn’t being watched, or that the murderer was better at sneaking around than she was at noticing. Natasha really hoped it was the first one.

“Nattie?” Maria’s voice greeted her as she opened the door.

Natasha kicked her shoes off, “Yeah babe, it’s me.”

Maria walked out of their bathroom, hair wet and messy. She was wearing the spongebob-boxershorts that Natasha had bought her once as a joke, and a tight fitting tank top.

“Oooh looking sexy.” Natasha wrapped her arms around Maria, kissing her soundly.

Maria rolled her eyes, slapping her shoulder, “Don’t be an ass Nat.”

“What? I’m not!” Natasha held her hand over her heart, pretending to be hurt, “You really look sexy.”

Blue eyes narrowed playfully, “Are you trying to butter me up?”

“Depends…” Natasha hummed, “What will I get if I succeed?”

“Nothing, I’m afraid.” Maria pursed her lips, “Tony invited us for dinner and drinks.”

Natasha actually stomped her feet, “Noooooooooooooo. No no nooooo.”

She threw her head back in a decidedly un-Natasha fashion and whined, “I don’t want tooooooo!”

Maria laughed at her antics.

“Don’t be a baby Nat. You like these people, remember?”

“But I _love_ you.” Natasha countered with a flirty grin.

“You’re going to be difficult about this until I bribe you with sex, aren’t you?”

Natasha’s grin only widened. “You know me too well.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you.” Maria teased, faking a dramatic sigh.

“Oh shush, you love me.” Nat said, grabbing Maria’s arms and pulling her closer to press soft kisses on her neck.

“I do, very very much.”

“I love you just as much Maria.”

* * *

“Ah! Mrs and mrs Hill!” Tony greeted them happily, “You’re the last ones to arrive. Come in!”

They followed the billionaire to his TV room, chatting about anything and everything. The other avengers were all sprawled out on the various couches in the room.

A chorus of greetings met them, along with the promise that pizza would be arriving soon.

“Extra anchovies?” Maria asked eagerly, laughing as Natasha scrunched up her face in disgust.

Steve gave her his most charming grin, “Ordered them especially for you Hill.”

They settled down on the couch, Natasha sitting as close to Maria as was possible.

Making idle conversation with this ragtag group of idiots and one god, Natasha felt her worries and fears slowly fade away from her.

Yes, there was an assassin out there somewhere. And sure, he probably was going to target her soon. But at least here, with her friends and their stupid jokes, she was more than safe. And most importantly, Maria was safe too.

Her fingers tightened subconsciously around her wife’s. She could feel Maria’s weddingring digging into her own finger. She sometimes still couldn’t believe that Maria had married her. And that Maria was the one who actually asked her to marry.

She shuffled a little closer to the woman she loved. Maria send her a little smile, and then pulled on her hand, until Natasha sat firmly in her lap. Maria wrapped her strong arms around Natasha’s waist with a contented hum, and then focused back on something that was playing on the giant TV.

“Tell me when I’m too heavy.” Nat whispered.

“Never.”

“What never? I’m never too heavy? Or never tell me that I am?” Natasha turned a little to face her wife.

Maria grinned and kissed her nose, “Not saying which one.”

“Ooooooh!” Darcy cooed hearing and seeing them, “You guys are the cutest!”

Maria leaned a little bit out of their embrace, embarrassed by the scientist.

“Soooo, how are the Hill’s doing?” Bruce asked, saving them from further awing by Darcy.

“Pretty good.” Maria smiled.

“This one here has been keeping rather busy.” Natasha prodded Maria’s side.

“Excuse you!” Maria gasped, her smile still in place, “I wasn’t the one who was late for dinner three times in the last week!”

“You’re just complaining because that means you have to make your own food.” Natasha teased.

“No? You let Natasha cook?” Clint asked, looking a little horrified at the thought of the redhead in the kitchen.

Maria just shrugged, “Well, yeah. I didn’t marry her for her charm, that’s for sure.”

“Hey!” Natasha slapped her shoulder, but following it up with a sound kiss.

“You do know that burnt food is carcinogenic right?”

“STEVE!”


	5. Chapter 5

Natasha woke up with a face full of dark hair. Glaring a little at her sleeping wife, she tried to wriggle out of her embrace.

“Mmmh, Nat, it’s Saturday.” Maria mumbled, throwing her leg over Natasha and pulling her closer again.

“I need to pee.” Natasha tried to push Maria away from her, but she just latched onto her harder.

“You can pee later. I want snuggles.”

Natasha chuckled. Sleepy Maria was always adorable. “Come on beautiful, let me up.” she coaxed gently, “I’ll make you coffee.”

Maria cracked one eye open, “Can I have it in bed?”

The redhead laughed. Of course Maria would wake up at the promise of coffee.

“You can have anything you want babe.”

“I want donuts too.” Maria closed her eyes again.

“You want me to go to the little bakery?” Natasha grinned, already knowing the answer. Around the corner from their apartment was a small bakery, owned by an old woman. Maria absolutely adored it. In fact, Natasha was fairly certain the bakery was one of the reasons Maria insisted on getting this apartment in the first place.

“Yes please.” Her wife mumbled, rolling over so Natasha could escape their bed.

Natasha dropped a kiss on her head and started to get dressed, while Maria muttered about the sanctity of Saturday sleep-ins and Natasha stealing her snuggles.

“Baaabe come on.” Natasha whined, feeling a little guilty for leaving Maria alone in the bed, “You know I can’t just lay there. When I’m up I’m up. I need to do things.”

“I know sweetie, I’m just complaining to complain.” Maria smiled, “Now go get my donuts woman.”

Natasha darted over for another quick kiss, “On it _woman_.”

She grabbed a jacket, which may or may not have been Maria’s, and darted out the door.

The morning was still cold and Natasha happily breathed in the fresh air. There was just something about feeling the chill of the air going through her entire body. It made her feel awake, alive.

Her walk was short and soon she found herself surrounded by the bakery’s sweet treats.

“Nat!” The old woman behind the counter smiled brightly, “Where’s that wife of yours?”

Natasha laughed, “Hi Miss Agness! She’s still in bed, grumbling about needing donuts and coffee.”

“Oh dear! Well, I just made a fresh batch of those donuts she loves so much.” Miss Agness grabbed a box and started piling donuts into it, “Four?”

“Yes please.” Natasha smiled, digging for her wallet.

The old lady handed her the box, “There you go sweetheart. Now you tell Maria that she needs to stop by more often. I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“I’ll tell her.” Nat nodded, paying for their donuts, “Have a good Saturday!”

“You too Natasha!” Miss Agness smiled, “Give Maria a kiss from me!”

Natasha left the store with a smile. It was nice talking to people who had no idea who she was, or what she was capable of. The normality of it left her feeling oddly refreshed.

Her good mood was about to be ruined though. As Natasha went to open the door of their building, she noticed a note taped on the handle.

Her blood ran cold and she tore it off with shaky hands. She unfolded the note and immediately recognized the handwriting.

_What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets TOAD away!_

_Good morning Black Widow._

_If I were you, I would do a little check up on Hitaro Ono, tonight at 8PM at his bar in Brooklyn. Just saying._

_Enjoy ;-)_

 

* * *

 

“I need to go to the Triskelion today.” Natasha announced, unceremoniously putting a cup of coffee on Maria’s nightstand.

Maria frowned deeply, sitting up against the headboard. “It’s Saturday. And I know you’re not on call.”

Natasha shrugged, diving into her closet for something more suitable to wear.

“Natasha!” Maria raised her voice. “Talk to me.”

The redhead scratched the back of her neck, “I ran into a contact. I need to check a lead.”

“Is it about those garrote murders?”

“It could be.” Natasha shrugged, “All I know is that someone called Hitaro Ono is going to do something at 8PM in Brooklyn.”

“I’m coming with you.” Maria put her mug back down on the nightstand.

“It’s your day off.” Natasha protested softly.

Maria just shrugged, rolling out of bed to get ready. “It’s your day off too babe.”

The redhead glared a little at her wife, “You’re not coming with me Maria.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh god, what is happening?” Coulson asked panicky, “Is it aliens again? Gods?”

Maria smiled at the man, “No crisis Phil. At least, none that I know of.”

“But it’s your weekend off?”

“Exactly!” Natasha grumbled, still pouting that she had lost the battle of wills against Maria.

“Hush!” Maria admonished, “We might have a lead on something. Coulson, I need the analysts to run a search on Hitaro Ono, he’s involved in something icky and I want to know what it is. I want the rookies to stake-out his house and his bar and I want them there yesterday. I’ll be waiting in my office for the results.”

“Yes sir!” Coulson nodded and scurried off to delegate his orders.

“Come on Nat, we can’t do anything but wait now.” Maria started walking to her office, letting Natasha trail behind her.

“Are you upset with me?” Maria asked as soon as the door closed behind them.

“Not upset.” Natasha’s brow furrowed as she thought about how she felt, “A little miffed maybe.”

“Okay, why?”

Natasha shrugged, “Because. We’re doing this your way. If we had done it my way, it would have gone a lot faster.”

“If we do things your way, someone always ends up getting tortured.” Maria sat down behind her desk, “And despite what Congress and the President might think, that is NOT how we do things here. Besides you have no idea what we’re going up against. For all we know, he’s just a petty drugdealer.”

Natasha’s shoulder sagged a little. She knew he was more than a drugdealer, she didn’t know what he was, but she knew that if it was enough to leave her a note, it must be something unpleasant.

But she couldn’t tell Maria that. This was exactly why she didn’t want her wife here. She didn’t want to involve her in the mess she was creating. And she didn’t like lying. Not to Maria.

“We’ll see.” Natasha mumbled.

“Nat? I didn’t mean to insult you.” Maria noticed her wife’s sad demeanor, “I know you only torture when you really have to.”

The redhead smiled, touched by Maria’s concern. “It’s alright Maria. I don’t mind. And you’re right. Maybe your way is the better way.”

“Care to repeat that so that I can record it?” Maria teased with a grin.

Natasha glared playfully, “Don’t push your luck Agent Hill.”

“Or what, mrs Hill?” Maria countered airily.

She smiled at Maria. Her wife just had a way with her. She so easily made Natasha forget about all her worries, her insecurities. There were no words to describe just how amazing Maria was to her.

“I really love you, you know?”

“I know.” Maria grinned, before adding, “I really love you too Nattie.”

There was a brisk knock on the door, Coulson stepped inside without waiting for an answer.

“Analysts have found something. Apparently Ono is deadset on starting his own yakuza branch right here.” Coulson said, “He can’t really find that much of a gathering though. He seems like a regular criminal to me. Should I inform the local police?”

Maria frowned a little and turned to Natasha, “What do you think? It’s your tip.”

Natasha thought about where her tip had come from. If this man was just a run of the mill criminal, she wouldn’t have gotten the tip. No, the note was addressed to her.

“I want to go in with Barton tonight.” Natasha said, “Just check it out. If it’s nothing big, we can still turn it over to the police after. I just have a feeling that I should be there.”

Maria nodded, “That settles it then. Coulson, get Barton briefed. I’ll be the handler for this mission.”

“I don’t want you there.” Natasha blurted, making Coulson and Maria look up at her.

“Excuse me?” Maria narrowed her eyes, giving her a glare that made even Natasha squirm.

“I just mean, what if it gets dangerous?” Natasha tried to recover.

Her reasons for not wanting Maria there were entirely selfish though. What if it was an ambush, a set up by the assassin they were searching? Or what if he was just watching, searching for a target? What if Maria got hurt? Or worse.

“Dangerous?” Maria snorted, “Yeah, I’ve never been in a dangerous situation before, you’re right. Why don’t I just sit down on my chair and file some paperwork? But oh no! What if I get a papercut? How could I possibly survive that?”

“Yeah… I’m just…” Coulson pointed at the door and ran out, desperate to avoid a fight between SHIELD’s scariest and most competent agents.

Maria glared at her, but Natasha could see that she had hurt the agent’s pride.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to doubt you.” Natasha groveled, “I know you can take care of yourself.”

Maria didn’t softened her glare, “You’re an ass sometimes.”

“I know.” Natasha grimaced, “I just got worried for a second. I really am sorry.”

“Good.” Maria grumbled, letting Natasha know that she was nowhere near forgiven, “Now go to the analysts and get schematics of the building. You’re not going in unprepared.”

“Are you going to stay mad at me for the rest of the day?” Natasha asked cautiously.

Maria raised an eyebrow, “No. I’m going to stay mad until tonight. Because when it all goes to shit I can gloat that you are in more danger than I am and suggest that maybe you shouldn’t go on another mission. Just to keep you safe.”

“And what if it doesn’t go to shit?” Natasha was almost afraid to ask.

“Then I can gloat and say that thanks to _me_ things went great. And then I’ll rub it in your face that you wanted me in a plastic bubble when clearly I’m more than qualified to do the dangerous things.”

“Sooooo tonight you won’t be mad anymore?”

 

* * *

 

“Hawkeye are you in position?” Maria’s voice rang through their ears.

“Affirmative.”

They had placed Barton on the roof of the building across the bar. Natasha didn’t expect any real trouble, she just needed to know who was going in and out.

“Black Widow?” Maria asked curtly.

“Oh baby, you know I love it when you call me that.” Natasha teased, “But I love it more when you moan it.”

“I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!” Barton shrieked in protest to Natasha’s teasing, earning him a loud chuckle from the redhead.

“Natasha!” Maria admonished her, “Are you in position?”

“Entering the backroom now.” Natasha confirmed, “We have 5 minutes before whatever he’s up to is going down.”

“Stay out of sight, and for the love of god, don’t touch anything.” Maria warned.

Natasha rolled her eyes. Of course she wasn’t going to touch anything. She wasn’t about to catch some weird alien form of the measles or whatever.

She hid herself in a corner of the room, making sure she had a perfect view.

“Hey Maria? I’m hungry. We’re getting food after this, right?”

A loud groan came through her earpiece, Natasha could just imagine the way Maria was pinching her eyes closed in an effort not to strangle her through the communication system.

“We just ate an hour ago Nat!”

“But I’m hungry!”

Barton chimed in, “I’m up for some Chinese!”

“I was thinking more like pizza.” Natasha offered.

“You just had pizza with the avengers!” Maria sounded exasperated, “You can’t just live your life on junkfood Nat, you’re not 25 anymore.”

Clint gasped dramatically.

“Are you implying I’m old Hill?”

“I’m not _implying_ anything Romanoff.” Maria’s voice betrayed her grin, “Besides, I’m not the one who threw the scales through the window just last week because, and I quote: the thing was being mean.”

Natasha growled hearing Barton’s annoying laugh ringing through her head.

“I’ll get you back for that Maria.” She threatened.

“I’d like to see you try Nattie.” Maria challenged.

Natasha was just about to recount a very embarrassing story about scaling a waterfall, losing a shoe and ending up dangling on the rope upside down in the middle of said waterfall when Clint interrupted them.

“Widow, Hitaro just entered the building through the back door with two other guys. You should have visual in 10 seconds.”

Natasha held her breath a little and tried to stand as still as she could. Her beat a little faster under her SHIELD-issued catsuit. She felt alive.

Hitaro spoke with a thick Brooklyn accent that made her cringe.

He and the other guys made a hush-hush deal. Hitaro handed them an envelope, with what Natasha assumed would be money. The guys rushed off, but they didn’t matter to her. She knew Maria would be waiting outside with a team to apprehend them.

No, what mattered to Natasha was what was inside the box the guys left with Hitaro. It appeared to be a military case, heavily padded. The type that would be used to move very precious cargo.

“Black Widow.” Maria spoke clearly through the earpiece, “Engage.”

Hitaro went down in three minutes. It was rather pathetic Natasha thought.

She crouched down in front of the case and carefully opened the lid.

“Oooh shit.” Natasha’s eyes widened, “Maria, I’m going to need some help in here.”

 

* * *

 

Clint and Natasha where waiting in for their debriefing.

“So, what was in that case?” Barton asked eagerly.

Natasha shrugged her shoulders, “I have no idea. Vials. Glowed in the dark. I’m not touching stuff like that. One hulk is enough, thank you very much.”

“I agree.” Maria strode into the office, “Those vials contained a sort of super soldier serum. Not quite as potent as what we pumped into Cap, but still enough to form a serious threat.”

“What was he going to do with it?” Clint asked.

Maria shook her head, “No idea. Our best guess is that he didn’t find enough little friends to form his yakuza, so he decided that making them invincible would convince more people to submit to him.”

“Crazy bastard.” Natasha glowered, “Now aren’t you sad you didn’t let me torture him?”

“Not really.” Maria grinned, “Because now I can say that my plan worked wonders.”

Natasha nodded, “Okay honey, debrief me and then you can gloat all you want.”

 

* * *

 

 Natasha was expecting it to happen.

She had let Maria go up to their apartment ahead of her, claiming that she wanted to check up on Katja first before going to bed.

Maria had raised an eyebrow, but left her alone in the parkinglot in front of their building.

It wasn’t a complete lie though, Natasha did check up on the motorcycle, fully expecting to find a note. But there was nothing.

Maybe it would be there the next morning?

It was dark out and she didn’t feel like searching the entire lot for a stupid note. She turned on her heel to go after her wife when something fell from the sky.

Natasha had to fight the instinct to duck or jump behind a car for cover. From somewhere up someone had thrown a paper airplane.

She looked up, but it was too dark to see that far. She hated how smart this guy was. How close he could get without her knowing.

She picked up the airplane from the ground and unfolded it carefully.

_Wasn’t that fun?! I wish I could have done it, but alas, not on my list._

_And don’t worry about what your wife says, you still look hella fine in that catsuit! ;-)_


	6. Chapter 6

The basement was dingy. The perfect place to hide criminal activity. At least, if you liked stereotypes.

“I need information.” Natasha said harshly. Normally she would never come here. Never ask for his help. He was a creep. Even by her standards.

“Now now Black Widow, is that a way to walk into my home?” He belittled her, talked down to her, “Let’s try that again, shall we?”

Natasha glared dangerously at him. Her eyes telling the story of how badly she wanted to hurt him, “I don’t have time for your games Andrei.”

“What do you need?” He relented, the ugly sneer on his face disappeared.

“Who is the assassin?”

“The garrote-killer?” Natasha nodded.

“How much is my information worth?” He asked. The slimely bastard.

“Your information is worth your life.” Natasha threatened lowly.

“Geez, drama queen much?” He grinned, “Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Andrei.” She practically growled his name.

“I know nothing, okay?” Andrei said quickly, throwing his hands up.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “You’re wasting my time!”

“I’m not! I know nothing, Widow!” the man insisted, “And it isn’t for a lack of trying! You can say I… admire his work. I think him and I would make good business associates.”

“You just want another minion for your mob.” Natasha was bored.

“Nobody knows anything.” Andrei told her, “He’s a ghost. He doesn’t work with any criminal I know.”

“That’s saying something.”

“Honestly, I thought he was one of yours. Government.”

Natasha frowned at him. She hadn’t considered the government as an option. There was nothing on the victims to suggest that they could be targeted by the government. There was that one HYDRA-agent, but that was just a coincidence, wasn’t it?

“So, good information? No?” Andrei asked, looking a little worried at Natasha.

* * *

“Government?” Maria repeated with a frown, “There’s no other agency than us who would use assassins. Well, they wouldn’t use them inside of the USA at least.”

“I know that.” Natasha was pacing in Maria’s office, “But think about it! He has no connection to any criminal organization. Nobody knows how to contact him, who he associates with. Nothing! He’s a ghost!”

“Wasn’t the Winter Soldier a ghost too?” Maria defied.

Natasha stopped her pacing, “But there were ways to get in touch with him. Or his handler. This guy, nothing.”

“So you’re thinking we’ve stepped into a secret government agency’s illegal mess?” Natasha could hear the doubt in her wife’s voice.

She shrugged, “It’s possible, no?”

“No.”

“All I’m saying is that maybe you should ask your politician friends in Washington if maybe they heard of something sneaky happening.”

Maria glared a little, “Okay, first, those people are not my friends. And second, no! There is no conspiracy Natasha, no secret agency.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I have informants in every branch of every intelligence agency, I do know that.” Maria countered, a glint of pride in her eyes.

“But Maria, it’s either government, or there is an entire criminal organisation out there, that we’ve never heard of, that doesn’t need to rely on outside sources, and that’s smarter than us!” Natasha argued.

Maria frowned again. “I don’t like the sound of that. Let me check with some people to see if there are secret projects that we don’t know about yet.”

“Thanks.” Natasha smiled, “What do I do in the mean time?”

Maria shrugged, “Whatever it is you do on a normal day. Go frighten some rookies in the training hall.”

“I have never loved you more!”

* * *

Natasha snuck out. She knew exactly how to get out of the Triskelion without being spotted. There was no need for Maria to find out she was gone.

She hailed a cab, made sure to pay for it in cash. Untraceable. She was going full Black Widow for this one. No one could know she had been here.

Well, one person could.

She entered the elevator, didn’t push the button. She just waited inside the metal cage.

“Good afternoon Agent Romanoff, how can I be of service?”

“JARVIS, take me to Stark.” Natasha ordered the AI.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible Agent Romanoff, mister Stark has requested not to be disturbed.” JARVIS’s calm voice filled the air.

“Take me to Stark.” Natasha repeated, “Or would you prefer me hacking into you? Again?”

“He is in the basement.” The elevator hummed lowly as it started to go down, “May I advise you to be careful? Sir is working on some rather volatile experiments.”

“Thank you JARVIS.”

When the doors slid open the first thing Natasha noticed was the noise. Tony was listening to some god awful metal music, way too loud to be even remotely healthy for his ears. It felt like the beat was trying to pound her brain out of her skull.

“JARVIS could you turn that down please?” Natasha yelled at the robot.

“Gladly Agent Romanoff.” The music immediately went down to a more human level, making Tony look up in shock.

“JARVIS?”

“You have a visitor mister Stark.” JARVIS explained.

Tony finally turned around to see her. “Natasha! I’m working. You can come back later, okay.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “Not okay. I need you now.”

Tony gave her a sleezy grin, “I don’t think Maria will be so happy about that.”

She crossed her arms, leaning her weight on one leg so her hip jutted out. And she glared, so cold that Tony took a step back.

“It was just a joke!” Stark put his hands up, “No need to go all Russian serial killer on me.”

“You built the SHIELD communication devices right?” Natasha wasn’t going to wait until he offered his help.

Tony scoffed, “Of course I did! And they’re the best comms in the business.”

“Someone tapped into them last night.”

“Impossible!” Tony argued, “They’re too complicated, they don’t work with normal frequencies, you can’t just tap into them! You need to hack the devices, go through firewalls. It’s not possible.”

“It happened. Yesterday. Someone listened in on the entire mission.” Natasha won’t give him more information, “I need to know who can do that, and how they did it.”

Tony pulled up the blueprints for the devices, “I don’t know who did it, but I can tell you this person is smart. It’s a very complicated system. See this thing?” he pointed something out, “That’s a jammer, makes it impossible to tap into them. So to listen in on the SHIELD frequency, you need to hack the SHIELD server and then locate the device you want to listen to. Hacking SHIELD is practically impossible.”

“I did it.” Natasha shrugged, “Multiple times.”

Tony smirked, “Of course you did. But that’s you. To be honest, when I came up with this thing, I thought you would be the only one ever skilled enough to hack into it. I guess I was wrong. I’ll make JARVIS search for the security breach and I’ll send the report to Maria.”

“No.” the assassin said quickly, “Nothing is going back to SHIELD. Report to me.”

“Are you doing something you’re not supposed to do?” Stark asked carefully.

Natasha bit her lip, thinking about what she could tell him, “I’m… protecting.”

“SHIELD?”

“Maria.”

“Good enough.” Tony nodded, “It would take preparation. You can’t just decide you’re going to do hack the device and then be listening twenty seconds later. Someone knew where you were going to be, and they knew you were going to use SI equipment. I’ll send the security check-up to you.”

“So whoever listened in, they knew we were using your equipment?” Natasha repeated, more for herself. Who would know what equipment SHIELD uses? Maybe someone who knows SHIELD? Maybe someone who is a part of SHIELD?

“Not only would they need to know that, and know how to hack into SHIELD. They would have to know how the device works, and then figure out from that that they have to hack SHIELD to access it. And once in the SHIELD server, they would have to find what they’re looking for. Needles in haystacks have nothing on that kind of search. Someone was very prepared and very determined.”

“Thank you Tony.”

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled, “Though I’ll probably be the one who won’t be mentioning it.”

Natasha grinned, “Not if you like that little lightbulb in your chest.”

* * *

Natasha hated New York. It was filthy. It was loud. And there were people _everywhere._

She left the Stark building and bumped into at least five different people before she made it to the curb to hail a cab.

She gave the cabbie her directions and then leaned back a bit, closing her eyes.

“Eh miss?” The driver cleared his throat, “You uh you got something on your arm.”

Natasha felt like crying. _Someone_ had managed to paste a post-it note on her arm. One of the people that bumped into her on the curb.

She had touched him. She had seen him. And she hadn’t known.

That fucking cocky little bastard had touched her.

_Going to Stark huh? You’re a smart cookie!_

_But everyone in the world knows that SHIELD works with SI equipment._

_Looks like you’re back at square one Widow._

_I’ll give you a hint: I don’t work for your precious SHIELD._

_Have fun searching! ;-)_

_-M-_

 

M? Well, at least now she has something? Maybe?


	7. Chapter 7

“I want every agent on this goddamn case!”

Natasha was seething. Sending her notes was one thing, using her as a fucking bulletin board was one bridge too far. “I’m going to put a bullet through that smug asshole's head!”

Maria stared at her like she’d gone mad. “Baby, you’ve been a little uptight about this case. Are you alright?”

“No! I’m not alright!” Natasha almost yelled. Almost. She would never straight up yell at her wife. “I’m not alright Maria! I can’t find anything, Clint can’t find anything, you can’t find anything! What are we doing wrong?”

Maria rubbed her shoulders, willing her to relax just a little, “We’re doing everything we can okay? Something will turn up soon.”

“Yeah, another dead body.” Natasha huffed unhappily. Since the HYDRA-agent, three more victims had been discovered.

“We’ll catch him Nat.” Maria soothed, “We always do. He’ll make a mistake and when he does, we’ll be there to use him for target practice.”

Natasha chuckled, “You always know how to cheer me up.”

“I’d say it’s a talent of mine, yes.” Maria teased lightly.

Natasha grabbed her hand and pulled her down on the couch next to her, “It’s one of the reasons why I married you.”

“Charmer.”

“Hmmm.” Natasha snuggled into her, “You love it though.”

“I do.” Maria agreed, happily accepting Natasha’s affections, “I love you.”

The redhead beamed at hearing those familiar words, “I love you too Mar.”

They stayed like that for a bit, quietly snuggled together on their couch, sneaking kisses like teenagers in love.

“We have a good life together.” Maria said softly.

“A very good life.” Natasha agreed.

“Pepper offered me a job.”

Natasha wasn’t surprised, “Pepper is constantly offering you jobs.”

“But what if I took it?” Maria wondered.

Now the redhead was surprised, “You would hate it baby. Working in an office? No shooting stuff, no aliens. You’d go crazy.”

Maria stayed quiet for a bit, making Natasha wonder what this was really all about.

“I’d have better hours.”

“So?”

“So maybe, we could apply with the adoption agency again?” Ah, there it was. “If I have a normal job, maybe we’d have a chance?”

Natasha’s heart broke at the hint of desperation in her wife’s voice. From their first date, Maria had made it clear that kids were non-negotiable. That if Natasha wasn’t going to consider it, she should leave straight away. It was the one thing Maria would not compromise on. But that was before...

“Baby, you would hate your job.” Natasha said again, more softly. The tears collecting in Maria’s eyes almost physically hurt her, “Look at what you did for SHIELD, what you still do. You will hate yourself for walking away from that.”

Maria swallowed heavily. Natasha hated to hurt her wife like that, but it was the truth. Maria would never be able to live without SHIELD.

“I just…” Maria choked on her words.”

“I know baby, me too.” Natasha held her tight in her arms, “Me too.”

Maria cried softly, clinging to Natasha like a lifeline.

“Babe, what if… what if I retire?” Natasha had considered it before, but it never seemed like the right time, “No more fieldwork for me, just training agents, or being a handler. Wouldn’t that be a better option?”

Maria gave her a teary smile, “You’d go just as crazy behind a desk, as I would working for Stark.”

“Probably.” Natasha agreed, “I would do it though.”

“Don’t sweetheart. I don’t want to take what you love away from you.”

Natasha kissed her wife softly, “You are what I love. And I would do anything for you.”

“Maybe, if we just both cut back on our hours?” Maria thought out loud

“We tried to do that already baby, it didn’t work.”

“We can try harder.” Maria insisted stubbornly, “I could get an assistant, you take on less missions…”

“It would be a start.” Natasha agreed, a little hesitant.

“Yeah?” Maria’s face lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning and Natasha knew she was done for. Honestly, who could say no to those blue eyes?

“Yeah.”

Maria grabbed her and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Natasha tried to tone down her own excitement, they had been disappointed too many times. But her wife was happy and kissing her and soon Natasha found herself eagerly kissing back and giggling along as they raced to the bedroom.

 

* * *

 

“Is this a bad joke?” Fury demanded, looking them both up and down.

“No sir.” Maria tried to keep her voice even, but Natasha could feel the nerves radiate off of her.

“My assistant needs an assistant?” Fury asked, “And my best specialist want less missions?”

“Yes sir.”

Fury sighed, “Have you both lost your damned minds?”

“Sir, you don’t understand. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t necessary.” Maria was almost pleading with him.

“You are right Commander Hill, I don’t understand. Please explain.” Fury demanded.

Natasha felt Maria’s big blue eyes on her, begging for a little help.

“The adoption agencies keep shutting us down.” Natasha said, her voice tight with the concealed emotions.

“Oh…” Fury seemed at a loss for words, “You want… oh…”

“Nick…” Maria said, “Working less is our only chance. It’s that or finding another job.”

“I didn’t know.” Fury muttered softly, a bit surprised that there were still things he didn’t know about, “I’ll start looking for a suitable assistant for you. And I’ll keep Romanoff in the country whenever possible.” He promised, “After you finish this case.”

Natasha crossed her arms, glaring at the director, “The garrote guy? It’s a dead end.”

“Then make it come alive.” Fury said lowly, “I’ve got everyone crawling up my ass to wrap this up! We can’t have an assassin on the loose!”

“I don’t care about your ass!” Natasha argued, “There is nothing left to say about that case! Unless that assassin walks into this building with a freaking bow around his head, we won’t find him!”

Fury glared, “Close the case or I will send you to the Himalayas for the rest of the year agent Romanoff.”

Natasha scowled, but since killing the director of SHIELD wasn’t really an option, she turned on her heel and marched out.

Behind her she could vaguely hear Maria’s voice, pleading with Fury to cut them some slack

 

* * *

 

“This is so fucking unfair!” Natasha bellowed.

She’d made her way to Maria’s office and was flipping through every paper, ever picture, everything they had. Which wasn’t much.

And the things she did know, she couldn’t share with Maria. She couldn’t tell her how their assassin had hacked into SHIELD or how his name might start with the letter M. She couldn’t say anything about that.

Because then Maria would know how she lied to her. Kept important information from her. And why? To protect her wife? Or her pride?

Natasha didn’t know anymore. All she knew was that it was too late to come clean now. She remembered something an old Dutch lady had once told her: if you burn your ass, you have to sit on the blisters. And burn her ass she did.

Maria sighed behind her. “Nattie, you’re too worked up. You won’t find anything when you’re this angry.”

“I can’t find anything when I’m calm either!” Natasha smashed the file she was holding down on the desk. The papers spilled out of the folder, sending them flying to the ground.

“Natasha, calm down!” Maria’s voice was firm and demanding.

The redhead took a breath, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

She bent down and started picking the papers up from the floor.

“Wait a second…” she murmured when a particular photo caught her eye, “Maria do we have the autopsy records of all the victims?”

“Yeah, they’re right here. Barton already went over them.” Maria pointed to a file.

“Get him in here please?” Natasha barely looked at Maria as she started spreading out photographs in front of her, trying to confirm that what she had seen.

It barely took 5 minutes to get Clint in the office.

“What’s wrong?”

Natasha was still frowning at the pictures in front of her, “I think I found something. Maria, how tall is our shortest victim?”

“Uhm…” Maria started filing through the reports, “5 foot 6. The HYDRA-agent.”

Natasha picked the woman’s picture up.

“Okay, see this?” she traced the incision on the woman’s neck, “It has a downward angle.”

Barton looked confused, “What does that mean?”

“It means that whoever pulled the garrote tight was pulling down. Our killer is short.”

“Short?” Maria repeated a little doubtful, “Our tallest victim is 6ft 2. A short killer wouldn’t even be able to reach his neck.”

Natasha shook her head, “No, give me his autopsy report, I’ll bet there are bruises on his sides that can’t be explained.”

Maria leaned over her shoulder as they read the report. The medical examiner had indeed found bruises on his sides.

“What does that mean?” Maria asked.

“I’ll show you. Clint turn around.” Natasha ordered, grabbing a scarf that Maria kept around in case of emergency.

“Are you going to pretend-kill me again? I’m not a fan of that!” Barton argued while turning around.

“Okay, so when I used a garrote on a taller victim, I would jump on his back.” Natasha jumped on Clint’s back, digging her knees into his sides. “That’s where the bruises come from.”

“That hurts!” Clint protested.

“And then you take the garrote and squeeze.” Natasha wrapped the scarf around Clint’s neck with practiced ease and pulled lightly, “My best bet is that our assassin uses a metal garrote to slice the throat because he doesn’t have enough strength to choke his victim.”

“Choking!” Clint huffed, “I’m choking!”

“Or he knows that choking is riskier? What if one of his victims manages to throw him off? I think our guy knows he wouldn’t be able to win in a fistfight.” Natasha merrily continued with Clint flailing around to catch a breath.

“So a short lefthanded person?” Maria deducted, “Gee, that narrows it down.”

“Meh, it’s better than nothing.” Natasha shrugged, “I think we’re looking for a woman. Men shorter than 5ft 6 usually don’t have the confidence to become an assassin. And they would stand out too much.”

“Still choking!”

“Nat, you had your fun. Get off him.” Maria ordered with a slight smile.

Natasha hopped off his back gracefully as ever, smirking when Clint turned around to glare.

“I am never playing with you again!” he panted, a little red in the face.

Natasha smirked smugly, feeling proud of herself for besting the archer.

“Now now kids, don’t fight.” Maria teased, “Barton you can go now, Natasha and I will continue here.”

Barton frowned, “Really? I was just here as a testing dummy?”

“Yeah.” The redhead grinned widely.

With loud grumbling Clint left the two women alone.

Maria sighed, “So, we’re looking for a short, female assassin, who is so skilled that we can’t find her _and_ she prefers a garrote as a weapon.”

“That’s what I think, yeah.”

Maria rubbed her temple, “Nat, baby, you do realize that that basically describes you, right?”

“Oh…” Natasha frowned, “I’m not as smug though. And I would never leave notes.”

“You are that smug babe.” Maria disagreed with a faint grin, “I’m just going to say it again. Red Room.”

“Lefthanded.” Natasha argued.

Maria took a deep breath, “That is literally the only thing that doesn’t scream Red Room. All the other evidence does. Sweetie, I’m sorry, but lefthanded is good enough anymore. I’m bringing my suspicion to Fury.”

“He’ll take me off the case!”

“Isn’t that what you want?” Maria questioned, “Because you’re all over the place with this one. I think you know that Red Room is our main suspect here, and you’re just trying to deny the truth because it hurts.”

Natasha scowled, “It is not Red Room!”

“And I’m saying that it very well could be!” Maria shut her protest down with her best Commander-glare, “I’m taking this to Fury.”

“Fine!” Natasha huffed, “Whatever! I’m going to find Clint.”

“Natasha don’t run away from this!” Maria yelled after her, but Natasha was already gone.

“Fucking shit case.”

 

* * *

 

“It’s not okay!”

Clint nodded understandingly, letting Natasha vent to him. He had learned that the redhead didn’t always appreciate his input. She didn’t really talk to him as much as she just thought out loud near him, it was best to just let her get it all out.

“She’s just too emotional about this case!” Natasha threw her hands up, “She’s just worried about everything and it’s making her paranoid! It’s not the freaking Red Room!”

Honestly, he kinda agreed with Maria. Better safe than sorry. But he wasn’t going to tell an angry Natasha that.

“It’s everything together, you know? It’s too much. We’ve been completely in the dark with this assassin and she keeps hatching plans to adopt kids and Fury is being difficult about it and, you know, we both don’t know anymore, and it’s just…” Natasha shook her head, “It’s stressful. And then she worries too much about me and she has this Red Room theory in her head and I know it won’t go away until I can prove to her that it isn’t Red Room!”

Barton nodded again. He wouldn’t believe her either, not until he knew for sure that it was something else.

“She has a point though.” Natasha muttered softly, “I can see why she would go there. But she’s still wrong!”

Clint smiled a little. Natasha always reached a point in her rants where she would realize that maybe everyone else wasn’t so crazy, and that maybe, she had some groveling to do.

“I’m going to have to apologize right?” she pulled a little face at the thought.

“I think so.” Barton grimaced in solidarity, “She’ll forgive you, like always.”

Natasha groaned, stomping away from Clint to go find Maria.

She was practicing a good "I’m sorry" speech when her phone interrupted her thoughts.

“Romanoff.” She answered curtly.

_“Natasha, Tony here. I found the security breach.”_

“Did you find out who did it?”

 _“Kind of?”_ Tony sounded unsure, _“It’s a bit of a problem though. I tracked the signal of the computer that hacked into SHIELD.”_

“How is that a problem?” Natasha wondered.

_“Okay, so I found the breach and it took me right to the source, okay? I’m just telling you the facts here. Don’t kill me for it.”_

“Why would I want to kill you any more than usual? What is going on here?”

_“The device that hacked into SHIELD, it’s Maria’s.”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one :-) I hope you'll like it! Another, longer, chapter should be finished soon ;-)

“You’re wrong.” Natasha stated.

 _“I’m sorry Natasha, I’m not.”_ Tony was at a loss, Natasha could hear it, _“I went through it multiple times, just to be sure. The signal comes from Maria’s tablet.”_

“Stark use your head!” Natasha growled, for a genius he could be so stupid, “Maria was right there on the mission! She didn’t have to hack into our conversation because I was talking to her!”

Tony stayed quiet for a bit. Natasha could just imagine the dumbfounded look on his face.

 _“Right. Well, then something is wrong with Maria’s tablet.”_ He concluded, _“Someone must have put a virus of some sort on it to remotely access the tablet.”_

“Isn’t it a Stark tablet?” the redhead felt anger bubbling up, “Aren’t those supposed to be better than everything else in the world?”

 _“Uh… There’s no right answer to that question, is there?”_ Stark sounded a little apologetic.

“Find out who hacked into the Deputy Director’s tablet Stark.” Natasha ordered, “This is not just about doing me a favor. This just became a matter of national security.”

 _“Yes, well, I’m going to need that tablet.”_ Tony hesitated, _“But I’m betting you don’t want Maria to know about all of this?”_

“I’ll get you the tablet.”

Natasha hung up on him, squeezing her eyes shut. Stealing something was child’s play for her. Stealing from Maria however… she was going to die.

 

* * *

 

Natasha was busy cooking Maria’s favorite lasagna when her wife came home.

“Baby is my tablet here somewhere?” Maria asked, kicking off her shoes, “I couldn’t find it anywhere in my office, I figured I left it at home.”

Natasha bit her lip, “I don’t think it’s here honey.” Technically, not a lie. Stark had it.

Trying to get the damned thing away from Maria proved to be even more difficult than Natasha had originally thought. Her wife was practically glued to the stupid piece of technology. In the end, her plan had involved nearly killing a rookie in the training hall, a can of dog food and airvents.

“It has to be here.” Maria whined, “I don’t want to go to Fury and explain that I lost the thing. He already hates meeeeee.”

The redhead felt a little guilty. She padded over to her wife and kissed her softly, “Don’t worry, it’ll turn up again.”

“Ughhh” Maria groaned, letting her head fall down on Natasha’s shoulder, “Fury will kill me.”

“He won’t sweetheart.” Natasha ran the tips of her fingers over Maria’s back, “Don’t worry, you’ll find your tablet.”

“I hope so.” Maria pouted but it was quickly kissed away by the redhead. She hated doing this to her wife, but she had no choice.

“I’m making lasagna for tonight.” Natasha tried to distract her.

“Oooooh!” Maria grinned and then frowned, eyeing her wife up and down, “Wait, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Natasha gasped in mock horror. If only Maria knew.

“You only make lasagna when you fucked up.” Maria narrowed her eyes, carefully studying Natasha’s face for any tells. That’s what she got for marrying a spie.

Natasha sighed, she was going to have to lie and it had better be a good one too.

“It’s an apology. For storming out of your office earlier.” She fibbed.

Maria believed her, as always. She smiled that perfect little smile of hers, and kissed Natasha soundly. “You know you don’t have to, I’ve already forgiven you.”

Natasha closed her eyes and pulled her wife in tight hug. Of course Maria had to be perfect and understanding and so damned perfect. She felt like the world’s worst person. She didn’t deserve Maria.

“Nattie?” Maria asked carefully when she felt her wife shake in her arms, “What’s wrong baby?”

“I can’t tell you.” Natasha whispered through tears, “You’ll hate me.”

Maria swallowed, “Did you cheat?”

“Of course not.” Natasha huffed.

“Then I could never hate you.” Maria whispered, pressing a kiss on Natasha’s head, “I’ll probably get mad though. But I won’t hate you.”

Natasha snuggled closer, “Stop being perfect please. You’re making me feel worse.”

Maria ran her fingers through red locks and stroked Natasha’s back to make her calm down.

“Do you think you can ever tell me what’s happening?” Maria asked.

“Maybe.”

“Natasha, I’m deputy director of SHIELD for a reason, you know.” Maria said softly.

“Are you threatening me?” Natasha frowned at her. Maria had never tried to use her power against her.

“No, I’m just saying that even though you’re a super spy, you have tells.” Maria was calm and collected as always, “And I know all of them. You’ve been weird for a while now. And I know exactly when that started. I know you’re keeping secrets from me. I just don’t know what they are and why you’re doing it.”

“How can you do that?” Natasha asked in wonder, “How can you deal with me having these secrets for you? You know I should be telling you everything.”

“I trust you Natasha.” The answer was simple, “I trust you as your Commander and as your wife. You won’t do anything to hurt SHIELD and you definitely won’t do anything that would hurt me.”

Natasha nodded solemnly, “I’m protecting you. Trying at least.”

“I don’t need your protection.” Maria pointed out, “But thank you.”

Natasha still felt the shame of being caught and the shame of not being able to tell the truth. Because of her own damned ego. That was the only thing stopping her. She should tell Maria the truth. Tell her that she got careless and that everything they had together, even their home, was being watched by some assassin that nobody had ever seen before.

“Come on baby.” Maria soothed softly, “Your lasagna is going to burn.”

Natasha took a breath to collect herself and went back to the lasagna.

“So, what did Fury say about your Red Room idea?” She asked idly.

Maria shrugged, “He was going to send someone to Russia to do a little digging. But we should continue as we are.”

“What about me?” Natasha asked the real question, “Does he still want me there?”

“He didn’t say anything about you. You’re SHIELD Nat, not Red Room.”

“I was though.”

“We know where your loyalties are Nattie, you have nothing to prove anymore.” Maria smiled.

Natasha rubbed at her forehead, feeling a headache set in. She managed a weak smile. “You’re too nice. Stop it.”

Maria grinned with a shrug, “Meh, you make it easy baby.”

 

* * *

 

“Agent Romanoff, mister Stark is waiting for you downstairs.” JARVIS announced politely, making the elevator go down.

Natasha stayed quiet until she stepped out of the elevator.

“Tony?”

“I’m here!” Tony waved from behind one of his… things. Natasha had no idea what it could be.

“What did you find?”

“Ah!” Tony pulled up some images on his holotable, “I found your hacker!”

Natasha couldn’t hide her surprise, “Who is it?”

“Well, I didn’t really find that.” Tony grimaced, “I just found the virus on Maria’s tablet. It was actually a worm so it’s really fascinating and I …”

“Stark!”

“Right, sorry.” He pulled a sheepish face, “It’s a very specific type of worm. Normally it would suffice to hack into the device and leave the virus on it, but this one was installed manually on the tablet.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning someone stole Maria’s tablet and placed the worm on it.” Tony explained.

“She stole from Maria.” Natasha repeated, rage swirling through her.

That little son of a bitch. Natasha had no doubt she had done it to make a statement. She could have pick pocketed any SHIELD agent, but she chose Maria. To piss Natasha off. And it worked.

“Thanks.” She muttered, snatching the tablet and marching away.

It didn’t just gnaw at Natasha, it bit entire chunks out of her. Someone was going out of her way to involve Natasha in this, make her more involved than Barton and Maria. This assassin needed her for something.

And all Maria’s Red Room suspicions did nothing to help her ease her heart.

Natasha knew only one thing to do. She took a cab home.

Grabbing pen and paper, she marched back out to her beloved motorcycle.

And then she took a cab back to the Triskelion, leaving a bright green post-it note on her Katja.

_You want to play? Let’s play._

_But be warned, I cheat._


	9. Chapter 9

“I got you a coffee. And I found your tablet.” Natasha announced when she walked into Maria’s office without knocking.

“You mean you stole my tablet and now you’re returning it.” Maria corrected with a little smile.

Natasha pouted, “You said I could keep secrets!”

“You can. You just can’t lie to me.” Maria said softly, taking the tablet from Natasha. “Especially not when you know that I know.”

“Fiiiiiine. I’m returning your tablet. Happy now?”

Maria shrugged, “Depends on what you did with it?”

“Nothing that can get you in trouble.”

“Okay yeah, then I’m pretty happy.” Maria grinned.

Natasha perched herself on Maria’s desk, “You sure?”

Maria nodded, “Yeah. I wish you would talk to me though. But I’m not naïve. If you could tell me, you would. I trust you.”

Natasha sighed deeply, guilt overwhelming her. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. But back to work, I got you another mission. To take your mind off of things.” Maria handed her a file, “Just a classic information transfer. Honestly, reading the file will probably take longer than the actual mission.”

Natasha smiled gratefully. Maria was right, this was exactly what she needed. A regular run of the mill spy-job.

“Thanks baby.” She flicked through the file, “Oh! I have the perfect outfit for this!”

 

* * *

 

Natasha had left for her mission before Maria got home. Maria still hadn’t seen the redhead’s “perfect outfit”, but knowing Natasha it couldn’t be anything less than amazing. Hell, even a trashbag would look good on her.

Maria fixed herself something to eat with the TV on full volume. She had come to hate the silence of an empty apartment.

She was halfway through the third episode of some reruns of a bad cops show when Natasha finally came home.

Maria’s breath hitched when she saw her wife.

The assassin wore a figure-hugging red dress, so short that Maria was tempted to call it a tank top. It clung deliciously to her full hips and the black pumps Natasha wore with it showed off her toned legs.

And that cleavage…

But most of all Natasha looked just so damn pleased with herself. So happy. A little grin on her painted lips and a twinkle in her green eyes. All smugness and confidence.

A goddess.

“You look amazing.” Maria sounded a little breathless. Probably because Natasha made her forget how to breath.

“Yeah?” Natasha did a little twirl for her wife.

Maria could only nod, mesmerized by the woman in front of her.

“You okay there honey?” Natasha asked with a chuckle.

Maria nodded dumbly again, so Natasha decided to tease her a little.

Putting an extra sway in her hips, she walked over to her wife and plopped down onto her lap. Hot hands grabbed hold of her waist and Natasha could practically see Maria’s brain frying.

She hid her smirk in Maria’s neck, leaving a soft kiss there that made her shudder.

“Thank you for the mission.” Natasha whispered in her ear, nipping the lobe softly.

Her hands roamed over Maria’s taut back, slipping down under the hem of her shirt and back up stroking the defined muscles.

“It was just what I needed.” She added huskily.

“Yeah?” Maria’s voice sounded more like a desperate squeak, but Natasha would find another time to laugh at her.

“Oh yeah.” Natasha agreed, “But now I can’t help but think… What would you need? How can I help my commander relax?”

She ended her question with a teasing scratch down Maria’s back, something that never failed to get her wife riled up.

“Jesus fuck Nat.” Maria gasped, “Bedroom. Now.”

Natasha stood up to let Maria lead her to the bedroom. She tried to toe her heels off but Maria stopped her.

“The heels stay on.”

Natasha grinned wickedly, “Ay ay Commander.”

 

* * *

 

Maria slumped down on top of Natasha’s sweaty body. The redhead’s legs stayed firmly wrapped around her waist. One heel was dangling from her toes and the other was… she didn’t actually know where it was. Well, she would probably find it tomorrow.

“God…” Maria huffed a little out of breath.

Natasha chuckled at her wife, “You’re not tired yet are you?”

Challenging Maria on her strength always paid off, she had learned that very early on.

“Nat…” Maria groaned, burying her face in the crook of Natasha’s neck, “My fingers are about to fall off, and my tongue cramped up an hour ago.”

Natasha trailed kisses from Maria’s cheek all the way to her ear, “But baby, I never said you’d have to use your fingers… or your tongue…”

Maria’s head veered up, her blue eyes shone eagerly.

“You mean…?”

Natasha bit her lip and waggled her eyebrows, a move that normally would have sent Maria into a laughing fit, but it was so not funny now.

“Fuck…” Maria cursed loudly and dove towards the nightstand with Natasha chuckling underneath her.

Oh yes, challenging Maria _always_ paid off.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning.” Maria woke her up with soft kisses that left her grinning like a fool.

“I love you so much.” Natasha whispered, a little in awe of the feelings that rushed through her. Maria was just so… everything. Absolutely everything.

Maria rewarded her with a crooked grin and another soft kiss, “Well, good morning to me. I love you too Nattie.”

“Don’t ruin the moment by calling me that horrid nickname.” Natasha threatened teasingly.

“Waffles or pancakes?” Maria asked, completely ignoring her.

“Oh, pancakes please.”

Maria sprung out of bed gracefully, send a soft lazy smile at the redhead in her bed, and darted out the room.

Natasha let her head fall back on the pillows and smiled at ceiling. Naked and sweaty and with probably the worst just-got-fucked hair in history, she felt like a million dollars. Just because of the way Maria smiled at her. And kissed her. God, Maria…

“OW!” she heard Maria yell from somewhere in the house, “God fucking dammit!”

_Aaaah! Found the shoe!_

 

* * *

 

_Wow, dramatic much?_

_1) I gave you a criminal. I’m a good guy._

_2) I told you I’m not going to kill you, I’m just curious._

_3) you have no idea who I am or how to find me. Threatening me is a little pathetic._

_4) Calvin Dupont is on my list. I have no idea why. Get him out of the city._

Natasha frowned deeply at the piece of paper she had found that morning. That M had a serious knack for ruining her days.

Her computer was spouting information on this Dupont, but he seemed like the nicest guy in the world so far. Volunteer, boring office job, perfect marriage. Nothing stood out.

“What are you working on?” Barton asked suddenly. She had almost forgotten he was in the room with her.

“I don’t know. A contact dropped his name, but the guy seems pretty normal.” Natasha glared at the screen as if intimidating it would work.

Clint hung over her shoulder to read the information she had already collected, which wasn’t much at all.

“He worked at River Accounts? Isn’t that the company that found all the mistakes in the CIA’s bookkeeping?”

Natasha shrugged, she had no idea. “I’m married to Maria, I don’t need to watch the news. She does it for me.”

“It happened just a few weeks ago.” Clint typed at her computer and pulled up an article, “They claimed malpractice. It’s quite the scandal.”

“So someone wants to kill the whistleblower?” Natasha wondered, “Petty revenge? It seems odd, no?”

“Maybe the CIA thing is just the tip of the iceberg? He could know more about other people?” Clint suggested, “Kill him, shut him up, and crisis averted.”

“Good point.” Natasha nodded, “Let’s go pay him a visit.”

 

* * *

 

“I have a visual.” Hawkeye spoke into his communication device from his spot on a roof, “Get ready.”

Natasha saw him walk right towards her, like she had predicted.

He was nothing but an ordinary man, a grey mouse. Head down, fast pace, in a city like New York there were thousands of him.

Natasha stepped in front of him, blocking his path with her body.

He politely tried to sidestep her, but Natasha put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Mister Dupont? I suggest you come with me.” Natasha spoke calmly.

His head shot up and his eyes flitted over her face. Guilty conscience, she recognized that instantly.

“Are… are you going to kill me? I swear I know nothing!” His voice was comically high and Natasha had to fight the urge to grin. That would look bad.

“No, but if you don’t come with me you’ll be dead before the morning.”

He eyed her nervously, “What about my kids?”

Natasha frowned, she had found no record of children. Which was a good thing. If she didn’t know, other interested parties wouldn’t know either.

“Barton?” she asked.

“Sending a team to his address now Tasha.”

“Your kids are safe.” Natasha told him, “Now please, come along. I don’t have all day.”

 

* * *

 

“What did you do?” Maria waltzed into Natasha’s office. Well, it was more like an upgraded broomcloset where she and Clint could pretend to do their mandatory paperwork, but still.

“Me? Nothing!” Natasha didn’t even bother to put any effort into lying to Maria.

“I have a middle aged man crying like a baby in a secret organization’s secret building!” Maria seemed a little upset.

“His life is in danger.” Natasha offered.

Maria put her hands on her hips and glared, “Then send him to a safehouse.”

“I think they could be compromised.”

“You think they… Natasha? Explain!”

Now Natasha glared, “What did you think I was doing with your tablet Maria? Huh? Flappy bird? Temple Run? No! You were hacked!”

“I was not!” Maria argued, obviously offended, “The server would have picked up on that!”

“It didn’t because someone stole your tablet, figured out how to access it and then just started accessing it remotely!”

Maria gaped at her, “Why didn’t you tell me?! This is a matter of national security! I have the highest clearance!”

“I got them out of the system, everything is secure again.” Natasha muttered, not quite meeting Maria’s eyes, “They didn’t take any sensitive information. Just what they needed. I’m certain it’s nothing to worry about. I’m also certain that this same person is targeting Dupont so I don’t want to send him to a safehouse.”

Maria was silent for a bit. She had a little trouble digesting the information Natasha had just unleashed on her, “The helicarrier is flying over New York tonight.”

“Is that your way of saying you’re going to ship me off?”

“Put Dupont on it. It’s the safest place on earth.”

“I need to interrogate him first.” Natasha said firmly.

“Knock yourself out.” Maria said, “If you can get him to stop crying long enough to talk.”

Natasha grimaced, “He’s really crying?”

“Like a baby.” Maria grinned evilly, “Good luck, agent.”

 

* * *

 

Calvin Dupont sniffled loudly when Natasha sat down in front of him.

“I don’t know anything!” He whimpered.

Natasha rolled her eyes. That’s what they all say.

“You work at River Accounts? Were you involved in the CIA scandal?” Natasha asked calmly.

“I’m not allowed to say.”

Natasha glared and smirked when she saw him lean back in his seat in fear.

“Were you involved?” she repeated her question, letting just a hint of annoyance seep into her voice. It would make him nervous, scared. And fear was just what she needed to make this man crack like a cookie.

He nodded frantically, “But I don’t know anything!”

“Don’t lie to me.” Natasha threatened, “I’m trying to save your ass here. Tell me everything.”

Dupont was sweating, his eyes searched for a way out. She had him.

She banged her fist on the table loudly, making him jump up in his seat. “Now!”

“Fine! Fine!” He squealed, “I lead the team that found the anomalies in the CIA books! Nothing that other companies don’t do as well, but the media blew it out of proportion!”

“Don’t they always.” Natasha deadpanned.

“And we found something else.” Dupont continued, “Every month a huge sum of funds is moved to something called Project 130124. It’s an account that doesn’t exist, a project that shouldn’t be there at all. We just assumed that some CIA hotshot is paying himself a nice bonus.”

“Probably.” Natasha mused, “What else?”

“Nothing else! That’s all we got!” The man swore, “There’s nothing else!”

“Are you sure?”

“I swear on my kids!”

Natasha eyed him carefully. He was sweating in places she didn’t want to know about, but he seemed honest.

“You’re being moved to a safe location tonight.”

She stood up and left the room without sparing him a second glance.

 

* * *

 

Natasha left a message by the pond in the park. She knew she was being followed by that damn cocky assassin.

_Project 130124. What do you know?_

Two hours later her phone beeped, indicating a text. Natasha unlocked the device, assuming it was Maria. The blocked number made her frown. She was a little hesitant to open the text.

_I think it’s time to meet up._


	10. Chapter 10

Natasha walked into the little diner with an unfamiliar feeling of unease. She had never been this nervous. Not when fighting aliens in New York, hell, not even when marrying Maria Hill.

There was no doubt in her mind that if it came down to it, she might not be walking away from this one.

Natasha was nervous and scared. And yet, she had done exactly what was asked of her. No weapons, no backup. She was going in blind and alone.

Despite the butterflies in her stomach, and not the good kind, Natasha couldn’t help but feel like she’d made the right choice. Or at least, she hoped she did.

It was just an ordinary diner and at this hour it was practically empty.

Natasha sat down in the back at the table that provided the best view of the room and the exit.

She tried to distract herself by thumbing through the worn menu. The waiting was always the worst part.

Natasha was just trying to figure out what kind of pie she wanted to order, when the doorbell chimed, announcing another customer.

She quelled the excitement rushing through her and dared a peek over the edge of her menu.

Just a teenager.

With a small sigh Natasha focused back on her menu. Someone once told her that Peggy Carter’s favorite pie was rhubarb. She might just try that one.

Oooh, with whipped cream!

“Black Widow?”

Natasha’s head shot up, hand instinctively reaching for her knife that she had left behind.

The teenager stared intently at her, looking just the tiniest bit bored, “I thought we might just go for a little walk.”

“A walk?” Natasha raised an eyebrow trying to intimidate.

“Relax.” The young girl muttered, “Just come with me? I’m promised fifty bucks if you come.”

“By whom?”

The teen shrugged, “Hell if I know. Fifty bucks lady. You know what I can buy for that? Come on!”

Natasha leaned back in her seat. Something was off.

She let her eyes trail over the girl in front of her.

She looked young. 16, maybe 17. Short, shaggy dark hair. A bit like Maria’s.

Big green eyes that twinkled with amusement and the corner of her mouth was twitching up in a little smirk.

Her small body was lean, to the point of being too skinny, making her t-shirt seem baggy on her lithe frame.

Skin-tight jeans, obviously still brand new. That dark blue would never survive a washing machine. They hung a little too low on her hips, in the way that only a teenager could get away with.

Nothing stood out. A perfectly average young woman.

“Sit down.” Natasha ordered.

If there was one thing Natasha had learned over the years, it was that there was no such thing as perfect.

The teenager’s face broke in a wide crooked grin, “Oh you’re good Widow.”

“I’m the best.” Natasha bristled.

The kid plunked herself down in the seat across and pulled her legs under her.

Nonchalant and cocky. Natasha could work with that.

“How did you know?” the question was laced with curious excitement. A child’s question.

“New jeans indicate occasion, nerves. You were practically laughing in my face and,” It pained Natasha to admit it, “I didn’t hear you walk to my table.”

The teenager nodded appreciatively, as if she was taking note on all her tells. As if she was supposed to have tells.

Natasha was at a loss, though her face didn’t show it. She was silently thanking all her years of training. She had expected… well… an adult at the very least. Not a child so murderous, so dangerous that even SHIELD wanted her gone.

“Could you stop glaring at me?” The teenager grumbled a little, “There’s no way I could hide a knife or a gun in these jeans.”

“What about a garrote.” Natasha countered easily.

The teen laughed heartily, “Touché!”

“I’m not here to kill you though Widow.” Her voice became quieter.

“Call me Natasha. Then why are you here?”

“Calvin Dupont.” Natasha noticed the change in her demeanor, she was calculated, serious. “Are you sure he said Project 130124?”

Natasha nodded, “It’s a CIA embezzling scam.”

The girl in front of her nodded, seemingly in deep thought.

“Isn’t it?” Natasha pressed.

“I can’t tell.” The answer sounded monotone, dead.

“What is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

Natasha glared, but the girl just smirked back.

“You think you can intimidate me?” she scoffed in her face, actually scoffed, “You forget who I am Natasha. Or can I say Nattie? Like your wife does?”

Natasha tried to hide her shock, her fear. No one knew about that nickname. “How do you know…?”

“I know everything miss Romanoff.” The teen threatened her with smile. Her eyes were cold, hard, and Natasha could finally see the threat this girl formed.

“You try to find me, I try to find you. Seems fair, doesn’t it?”

Natasha stared at her, a little shell-shocked.

“I won’t hurt you or your family.” The girl said flippantly, her cocky smirk still firmly in place, “But I can, if I want to. Remember that.”

Natasha clenched her fists and took a deep breath to stop herself from lunging over the table. No one threatened her Maria.

“Why are you here?” she demanded from the girl.

The girl’s eyes softened, looking once again like just any other teenager, “I don’t know. You fascinate me Widow.”

Natasha saw the genuine confusion in her eyes. “Don’t call me that. I’m Natasha now.”

“How?” she seemed so much smaller than she did a minute ago, “How can you be Natasha? How can you walk away from the Widow? From the things you did?”

“I don’t walk away from it.” Natasha said honestly, “But SHIELD helps. A lot.”

“Trading one organization for another? How does it make a difference when they ask the same things from you? What’s the difference between an assassin and an asset?”

Natasha shrugged, “It’s the way they ask. And it’s the side I’m on. I know what I fight for and I know what I fight against. SHIELD isn’t perfect, but I know I’m with the good guys.”

The teen ran her tongue over her teeth in thought. A nervous tic, Natasha had no doubt.

“What side are you on?” Natasha asked carefully.

“You shouldn’t ask me that.” She responded with a faint smile, “I’m still figuring it out.”

“I need to know if you’re Red Room.” Saying the words almost pained Natasha. But now, in front of a child-assassin, not even she could deny the glaring similarity.

“Not Red Room.” the kid shook her head, “I promise.”

“I followed you around a bit.” The teenager admitted quietly, “I like your life.”

“It’s a very good life.” Natasha agreed, “A very happy life. I’m lucky.”

“Yes, yes you are.”

Natasha saw the smallest flicker of longing in the girl’s eyes.

“You can have that too kid.”

“I don’t see how.” The child muttered dejectedly, “You saw what I do with my days. And that’s only a little bit. I’m not a good person.”

“You know what I did, used to do.” Natasha tried, “You do bad stuff because you _have_ to. You never made the choice to be like this.”

The girl smiled a little bit, but then stood up.

“I have to go.” She announced, “Stop chasing me Natasha. I like you. I don’t want to kill you.”

“Kid…” Natasha stood up too, trying to stop her.

“I’m serious. I don’t want you next on my hitlist.”

“I’ll lay off the heat.” Natasha promised, “But I will find you.”

The teenager smirked, “I’ll be waiting.”

She turned to walk away.

“Hey kid, at least tell me your name!” Natasha called after her.

“I don’t have one.”

Natasha bit her lip, “What do you want me to call you then?”

“Max.”

“I’ll see you around then Max.”

“Yes you will.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha hung her jacket up in the hallway, lost in her thoughts about the child that sat in front of her only an hour ago.

The garrote-killer. Max. But whose killer was she? What on earth had they stumbled into? An American version of Red Room?

Her mind racing, she hadn’t noticed Maria come up to her until she felt two strong arms around her.

“Where were you today Nattie? I didn’t see you. Clint said you didn’t come in?” Maria whispered softly, placing gentle kisses on her neck.

Natasha pushed herself back, deeper into Maria’s embrace, “I love you.”

“Hmm, I love you too Nat.” Maria told her, arms tightening around her, “What happened?”

“I did something stupid… and now I’m questioning everything.” Natasha sighed sadly, “And I don’t know what to do Maria.”

Maria turned her around in her arms, pressing a soft kiss to Natasha’s nose, “Can you tell me baby?”

“I have to… But you might want to go sit down first.”

And Natasha talked. She told Maria everything, from the first note she got to the last. Every word she spoke was like a weight off her shoulders. Like that horrid pressing on her lungs disappeared and she could finally breath a little easier.

“Nat?” Maria stared at her, alarmed, “You decided to go meet a wanted killer? Why did you think that would be a good idea?”

Natasha looked to the ground, “I don’t know… I wasn’t thinking… I just felt like it was the right thing to do… I wanted to make a difference.”

“Oh honey…” Maria sighed, “You do make a difference. With SHIELD, and with me. Though I have to say that I’m glad she didn’t show up.”

Natasha bit her lip guiltily.

“She showed up?” Maria was on her feet, “Baby, are you okay? Are you hurt? Did you catch him? Did you kill him?”

“Maria!” Natasha pried her wife’s inspecting hands off of her, “It’s not what you think! It’s not what anyone thought.”

Maria’s blue eyes asked all the questions.

“She’s not a woman, she’s not even an adult.” Natasha was grasping for words that didn’t exist, “It’s a girl Maria. Maybe 16. A teenager. But fuck, she scared me.”

“What are you saying Nat?” Maria looked as shocked as Natasha had felt.

“Our killer is a child.” Natasha said quietly, “And… and she reminded me so much of myself.”

“So it’s Red Room?”

“No, but Mar, it’s like Red Room, but… but worse I think. She doesn’t know who she’s working for…” Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, “They didn’t even give her a name.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Not much… she asked about Project 130124. But most of all, she was just curious about me.” Nat mumbled, “Wanted to know how I turned my life around. What it’s like at SHIELD.”

“She wants to come to our side?” Maria guessed.

“I think so. But she doesn’t seem to think she has that option… I tried talking to her, but emotions aren’t my strong side.”

“You did what you could Nat.” Maria’s hands rubbed her arms gently, “At least now we know what we’re up against.”

“I told her we wouldn’t chase her anymore.”

“What?!”

“I had to Maria! She warned me if we didn’t stop, she’d have to kill us! And honestly, there is no doubt in my mind that she can!”

“But we can’t let her go her merry way!” Maria argued.

“Of course not! I told her I would find her.” Natasha protested, “And I will! I’m going to find her and I’m going to take her away from whatever it is that’s using her!”

“Nat…”

“No! I’m not giving up on a child Maria! I’m not going to put her away like some monster, because she is not!” Natasha argued, “What if Barton had shot me instead of bringing me in? Huh? He made that decision and I’m making mine! Max deserves a chance at an actual life.”

“Nat.” Maria’s voice was soft and loving and it made her calm down instantly, “I was just going to say yes baby. Yes, we’re taking that child out of there.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Maria gave her a soft smile, “So, Max huh?”

“She named herself.”

“It’s a cool name.”

“You should have seen her Maria, she’s like a short version of you…”


	11. Chapter 11

“So, where do we go from here?” Maria asked the next morning while they were getting ready for work.

“Hai wohnt hou tsek…”

“Sorry babe, I don’t speak Toothpaste.” Maria interrupted with a giggle.

Natasha spit and smiled at her wife, “I said: I want to check that project. The 130-whatever thingie.”

“That’s most definitely not what you said.” Maria teased.

Natasha laughed and grabbed Maria’s arm to pull her closer to her. With her arms around her giggling wife, Natasha peppered her face with kisses.

She loved Maria’s chuckles, how she wriggled away from her teasing kisses. She loved their normal moments.

“I love you.” She whispered against Maria’s cheek.

Maria grinned, “You’re a sap Natasha Romanoff.”

Natasha faked a gasped, “How dare you? It’s Natasha Hill!”

 

* * *

 

Natasha smiled like the cat that got the cream, holding Maria’s hand on the way down to their car.

“Will you stop grinning like that.” Maria bumped her shoulder with a fond smirk, “You look like an idiot.”

Natasha only grinned wider, “Your idiot.”

Maria chuckled and tightened her hold on Natasha’s hand, “We’re going to be late.”

“You make that sound as it is _my_ fault.” Natasha playfully raised an eyebrow.

“You distracted me.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining.” Natasha winked saucily.

Maria shook her head, “Not complaining at all. But it’s your fault we’ll be late.”

Natasha just smirked, letting her eyes rake up and down her wife’s body. She _so_ did not regret making them late.

“You’re a perv.” Maria laughed.

“Your perv.” Natasha countered.

Maria was about to retort when she saw a piece of paper stuck under her windshield wiper.

“Oh are you fucking kidding me? I’m parked in my own fucking spot! How can I get a ticket for that?!” Maria cursed loudly, letting go of Natasha’s hand to grab the paper.

Natasha smirked a little, “Not a ticket babe.”

She watched Maria’s scowl turn into a frown.

“It’s for you?”

She plucked the paper from Maria’s finger.

_Good morning Natasha!_

_You’re late. The main road is already completely jammed, take the long route._

_Have a good one ;)_

“Fucking cocky idiot.” Natasha smiled. She could feel Max’s eyes bore into the back of her skull from somewhere. But she knew the kid would be gone before she would be able to turn around.

“Good morning Max!” she yelled out, watching the alarm on Maria’s face.

She didn’t even get the chance to say something to her wife before a wad of paper hit the back of her head.

Natasha turned whipped around, only to be met with an empty street.

“Did you see her?” She asked eagerly, checking back in on Maria, “She’s always too quick for me!”

Maria who stared disbelievingly at her wife, “How long have you two been playing this game?”

Natasha only smirked in reply.

 

* * *

 

The rhythmic beeping of badges, the swish of automatic doors, the AI that greeted any and every agent without fault. The Triskelion was a beautiful place to Maria.

The almost manic hustle and bustle would drive anyone crazy, but she thrived on the sound of tapping keyboards and muted debriefings.

“Coulson, walk with me.” she ordered steadily, turning on her heel and walking to her office. She knew he would follow without question.

“Contact Agent Carter. I want her in my office by 3PM.”

Coulson’s step faltered, “Uhm, Maria? Agent Carter?”

“Yes, Agent Carter!” Maria glared a little, “I need her. Now.”

The older man scratched his chin, “Are you… are you alright?”

“Coulson! What is your problem?”

Coulson frowned a little before speaking, “Maria, all due respect, but Agent Carter has Alzheimer’s. I don’t think she should be here at all.”

Maria didn’t resist the urge to roll her eyes at the man, “That’s former Director Carter to you, Coulson! I asked for _Agent_ Carter. Agent _Sharon_ Carter!”

“Oh, right! Right! Of course. How stupid of me.” It took every bit of her self control not to agree with him.

“I need her here now Phil. Go.”

“Yes sir!”

Couslon scurried off. Maria could feel the headache coming when she opened her door.

“The incompetence is baffling sometimes, isn’t it?” Natasha scared the shit out of her, perched on her desk with her stupidly sexy crooked grin.

“Sorry honey.”

“It’s alright.” Maria waved it off, her heart still thumping loudly, “What do you need?”

Natasha grinned in the way only she could. Playful, but so dangerous at the same time. Maria was a complete fool for that grin. Natasha could ask her anything while looking at her like that.

“Just saying hi to my wife.” Natasha said sweetly, “And I wanted to know if you’re free for lunch?”

Maria shook her head with a smile. Natasha always was such a smooth little fucker. “I’m having lunch with Pepper. I told you in the car twenty minutes ago.”

Natasha slid off her desk and cocked her head, jutting her hip out. All that was missing was a cocky raised eyebrow and she would be in her full-on Black Widow position. The one that made even the hardest of criminals weak in the knees.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to have lunch with me instead?” Natasha’s voice was even huskier than usual. It made Maria’s mouth go dry.

“I can’t. I have plans. With Pepper.” Maria cursed at how weak her protest sounded. “I have to go. Stark has to develop tech for us. We need to plan it properly.”

“And you can’t send anyone else?” Natasha tried.

“I wish… God, I really wish.” Maria didn’t hide the way she was looking at her wife. No one could see them, and even they could, no one in the world could blame her for mentally undressing the redhead. It would be a crime not to.

Natasha pouted, “Fine. I’ll have lunch with Barton instead.”

“I’m sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you tonight okay?”

“But I wanted lunch-sex.” Natasha huffed like a petulant child, making Maria grin.

“You already had morning sex sweetie.” Maria reminded her.

Natasha glared playfully, “Are you implying that there is a limit to the amount of sex I can get from you?”

“Not at all. I’m saying that I’m not 25 anymore, and morning sex _and_ lunch sex would tire me out too much to work.”

“Work is overrated.” Natasha grumbled.

Maria laughed, “I’ll remind you of that next time you insist on going on a mission in the middle of bumfuck nowhere for god knows how long.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “You’re the one that sends me on those missions.”

“Regretfully.” Maria swore, “You know I hate it when you’re gone.”

“I know babe.” Natasha softly kissed her cheek, “I’m going to go bother Clint about lunch. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Hmm, come by this afternoon?” Maria offered, “Sharon is coming, I want you here to brief her with me.”

“Yes sir.” Natasha grinned, and with one last, lingering kiss, she left the office.

 

* * *

 

Clint had ‘important business’ to attend to, leaving Natasha alone to find a way to spend her lunchbreak. She decided to take a little walk to go find some dinner to waste away her hour.

Head down, hands in her pockets, she made her way downtown, away from the Triskelion. She never really got used to the office building. Honestly, Natasha couldn’t wait to get back on the helicarrier.

The screeching tires barely made her look up anymore. New York was always exceptionally loud anyways. But the incessant honking caught her attention eventually.

She glared at the offending car, as if she could intimidate the object. Her eyebrow raised in surprise when the window rolled down, revealing a grinning Max behind the wheel.

“Get in Widow!” Max yelled.

Natasha frowned at the teenager, but opened the door and sat down next to the overeager assassin.

“Do you even have a driver’s license?” Natasha questioned warily.

“I can drive a car.” Max deflected.

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, “This is a nice car… where did you get it?”

“I borrowed it.”

“You stole a car?” Natasha wasn’t impressed. But she could hardly pretend to be outraged. Stealing a car was daily business to her.

Max shrugged, “I have the key, it’s not like I broke into it.”

“How did you get the key?”

The teen grinned impishly, “I plead the fifth.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, wondering how Maria had put up with her own antics for all those years.

“What do you need from me kid?”

“What? I can’t take my favorite assassin for a little drive?” Max mocked.

“Max.”

Max didn’t answer, focusing on the road ahead. Natasha couldn’t help but wonder how such a short person was able to even reach the pedals.

The teen skillfully drove them to the edge of the city, parking on the curb.

She turned her piercing green eyes on Natasha, “If I gave you a list of names, would you be able to tell me who those people are?”

Natasha nodded, “SHIELD has those resources, yes. But, if you gave me a list of names, I would have to assume that it’s your hitlist. And I would be obliged to put those people somewhere safe.”

Max nodded, “Understood. You know I can’t give you that list though.”

“I know.”

The teenager ran her tongue over her teeth, thinking, “Can you give me the files you have on the people I… the people that have died?”

“I’m not allowed to.” Natasha knew SHIELD protocol like the back of her hand.

Max smiled a little, “I know.”

“Why do you need them though? It’s in the past. You can’t undo anything.” Natasha was gentle.

The teenager nodded and sighed.

“I get my… _assignments_ , and I execute them. I see bits and pieces of their lives, but never… I never know why.” Max shrugged, “I guess after that accountant, I just need to know why.”

“Mister Dupont? What’s so special about him?” Natasha cocked her head.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Max’s voice was calm, “That’s the thing. He hadn’t done anything, he just knew something he shouldn’t know. He didn’t even understand what he knew. And I had to… put him down for that.”

Natasha understood, “You’re questioning your choices.”

“I’m trying to see the bigger picture. I need to know why.”

“You’ll have the files tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

“All work and no play makes for a very boring Deputy Director.” Sharon Carter announced loudly when the door to Maria’s office swished open.

Maria looked up from her pile of paperwork, “You mean, all work and no play makes for a very cranky Deputy Director.”

Sharon grinned, “Hi Maria, how have things been?”

“Tiring.” Maria smiled back at her friend, “How is the CIA?”

The blonde rolled her eyes, “Positively incompetent.”

Maria laughed, she had spent many a phonecall with Sharon bitching and moaning about the bureaucracy of the agency.

“Sit down, Natasha will be here any second for briefing.” Maria pointed at the chair in front of her desk.

“Agent Romanoff is briefing me?” Maria tried her best to ignore the narrowing of Sharon’s eyes. The blonde never hid her dislike for her wife.

“It’s her case.” Maria said calmly, “Hers and Barton’s.”

“Ah, STRIKE-team Delta.” Sharon muttered condescendingly, “The most hated agents in the entire building.”

Maria glared, “Don’t you start Sharon. They may be reckless, but they’ve saved everyone’s asses here. Multiple times. Including yours.”

Sharon huffed defiantly, “I just don’t see why of all people in the world, you had to marry Romanoff!”

At the mention of her name, Natasha waltzed into the office, all confidence and grace.

“Hi Sharon! Talking about me? Nothing good I hope.” Natasha grinned sweetly, sitting herself down on the desk close to Maria.

“Don’t think I could come up with anything good even if I wanted to.” The blonde agent grumbled.

“Oh for fucks sakes Sharon!” Maria glared, “That’s my wife you’re talking to! And you,” She pointed at Natasha, “Stop provoking her.”

Both women looked a little ashamed.

“Now, Sharon I need information on the CIA.” Maria started, “There’s a project called Project 130124. SHIELD needs to know what it is.”

Sharon frowned, “And you can’t ask the director?”

“I did. He said it doesn’t exist.”

“Maybe it doesn’t?” Sharon offered.

“It does.” Natasha interrupted, “And whatever it is, it’s something dirty.”

“How can you know?” Sharon asked, failing miserably to hide her disdain for the redhead.

“River Accounts.” Maria took over, “A few weeks ago River Accounts discovered inconsistencies in the CIA’s bookkeeping.”

Sharon shrugged, “Every company in the world has _inconsistencies_. It doesn’t mean anything Maria, you know that.”

“Someone send an assassin after one of the accountants.”

That shut the blonde agent up.

“We intercepted him, put him somewhere safe.” Maria reassured, “But, the only information he had, was that the CIA transfers money to a ghost account in the name of Project 130124.”

“And nobody has ever heard of that project.” Natasha added.

“So someone is stealing money from the CIA?” Sharon guessed, “Why are we interested in this?”

“I need to know what they’re doing with that money.”

Sharon nodded, “I’m on it.”

“Sharon…” Natasha caught her attention, “We don’t know what this is, but I can tell you that if anyone finds out that you’re digging, they will kill you. Be careful.”

The blonde was caught off guard by Natasha’s sincerity, Maria could easily tell. She nodded once, took the file with her and left the office.

Natasha frowned, “What did I do now?”


	12. Chapter 12

“Baby this is delicious.” Maria complimented, happily chomping down on her food.

Natasha smiled, grateful for the recognition, “Thanks sweetheart.”

“You’re really spoiling me today.”

Natasha shrugged, “I don’t mind. You had a busy day. You deserve being spoiled.”

Maria rolled her eyes with a playful smile, “You’re such a softie Nat.”

“Only for you.”

They shared a loving smile and went back to their dinner.

“Did you hear anything from Sharon?” Natasha asked, despite knowing that if Maria had any news, she would be the first to know.

“A whole lot of _‘nope’_ , _‘nothing here’_ and _‘are you sure Romanoff didn’t just make this up?’_ ” Maria shrugged.

“She really doesn’t like me, huh?”

“She’s just… a little protective.” Maria offered meekly.

“It’s been five years.” Natasha complained, “She can stop being protective.”

“I know honey, I know.” Maria nodded, “I told her to back off. I don’t like it either when she talks about you like that. To be honest, I’m glad that I don’t hang out with her as much as I used to.”

“Babe, don’t say that.” Natasha was a bit surprised, “You shouldn’t stop seeing her because of me. She’s your best friend.”

“No, you are my best friend.” Maria looked into her eyes, “That’s why I married you. You’re my lover and my best friend. Sharon’s friendship doesn’t even come close to ours. I like her, I won’t cut her out of my life, but you are by far number one Natasha.”

Natasha was baffled. After all this time, Maria’s feelings for her still caught her off guard sometimes.

She rewarded Maria with a simple kiss, not knowing what to say.

Maria swatted her hands away when she tried to clear the dishes.

“I’ll clean babe, you did so much already.”

“This is your night Maria.” Natasha protested softly, “You relax and I clean. It’s not a lot of work anyways.”

Maria smirked suggestively, “What if you relaxed with me? We can do the dishes together later?”

“Oh I like that.” Natasha hummed happily, leaning back into her wife when Maria’s arms snaked around her waist, “What kind of relaxing did you have in mind?”

“How about a nice, long shower?” Maria kissed the sensitive flesh on her neck.

Her blue eyes twinkled mischievously when Natasha nodded hastily.

“Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll be right there.” Natasha offered, “I just want to put the leftovers in the fridge real quick.”

“Neat freak.” Maria stuck her tongue out teasingly.

“I’ll be quick.” The spy promised with a kiss.

“You better be. I don’t want to have to start without you.”

Maria gave her a searing kiss and strutted to the bathroom, fully aware of the way Natasha’s eyes followed her hungrily.

Natasha’s face broke in a huge grin as soon as Maria left. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was, how in love she was. Her life was just so amazing. Thanks to Maria.

She hopped up on the counter with practiced ease to grab a container from the highest shelf. Why use the stepstool if you have mad spy-skills?

When her feet touched the ground again she noticed a small flicker behind the kitchen window. A slight movement of sorts.

They lived on the highest floor, no one could reach that window, unless they used the fire escape. But Natasha had boobytrapped the heck out of that thing the second they moved in.

Nobody would be able to get past her security measures. Nobody could outsmart the Widow.

She swore she saw the flicker again.

Nobody…

Natasha almost hit herself over the head in frustration. She stalked over to the window and opened it briskly.

“Max, get the hell out of here!”

Max grinned wickedly, “Good evening to you too! Gee, it smells delicious in here.”

Max tried to stick her head through the window, but Natasha blocked her entrance.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Maria is home!” Natasha raised her voice only slightly, painfully aware of how close her wife actually was.

“I know, I saw her.” Max said flippantly, still trying to worm her way inside.

“You saw her?” Natasha put her hands on her hips, “How long have you been out there?”

She saw the briefest hint of guilt and shame flash over Max’s face, but the girl quickly recovered with a cocky smile, “Depends on when you noticed me.”

“Asshat.”

“Rude.” Max countered, “It really smells good in here though, and I’ve been out here for a while…”

“Then go home and get your own food.” Natasha finished for her.

Max opened her mouth to say something but her, no doubt cocky, remark was cut off by a yell from the bathroom.

“Babe? What’s taking you so long?!”

Natasha paled, “Uhm, I’m… I started cleaning the dishes! I’m sorry honey, you know how I get!”

“Baaaaabe!” Maria whined loudly.

Natasha had to think on her feet, she really didn’t want her wife to walk in on whatever it was that she was doing.

“Hey, why don’t we forget that shower and take a nice bath instead?” She suggested, “By the time the tub’s full, I should be done here!”

Natasha held her breath waiting for Maria to respond, ignoring Max’s barfing faces.

Finally, Maria yelled back, “You want those apple-scented candles? Or the lavender ones?”

“Apple!” Natasha breathed again, “I’ll be right there!”

“Soooooo, am I being fed?” Max asked with a smirk.

Natasha glared a little at the young woman.

“You’re doing all the dishes and I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see that you’ve been here. No notes, no nothing. Got it?”

Max nodded eagerly, already hoisting herself through the window.

“I’m serious, if Maria notices, we’re both dead. And she’d have to arrest you. Duty and all that. It’ll be a mess.”

“Technically, you should arrest me too _Agent_.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Natasha raised an eyebrow, “But I’ve always been more of a freelancer. I don’t follow protocol that well. Now remember, clean up after yourself.”

“Where are you going?” Max sounded a little like a child when the redhead turned on her heel.

“I’m going to distract my wife for you.”

Max pulled a face, “Eeeew.”

Natasha shrugged with a smirk, “Next time you decide to crash my evening, bring earplugs.”

 

* * *

 

Maria had her arms around her waist, spooning her from behind. Natasha reveled in the warmth and comfortableness and snuggled back deeper into her wife.

“Nat?”

“Hmmm?”

“You can’t keep seeing her.”

Natasha didn’t consider playing dumb with her, she knew exactly who her wife had meant, “Why not?”

“She’s a fugitive.” Maria kissed her shoulder, “Not by choice, I know. But whether or not she volunteered is irrelevant. She’s still wanted. You can’t help her. And as Deputy Director, I really can’t be involved in this.”

Natasha hated when Maria was right, “So what do I do then? Because I can’t win her trust by disappearing. Besides, I don’t even think I can hide from her if I wanted.”

Maria nodded. She had hear of what this elusive Max was capable of. “Give her some rules. No more notes where I can see them. No more sneaking in through the window while I’m in the bathroom.”

Natasha blushed, “You know?”

“Hmmm.” She didn’t need to look to know that Maria was grinning widely, “You did marry a spy honey. Of course I know.”

“You’re not mad?” Natasha turned around in her arms to look at her.

Maria shrugged, “I’m not. You do stupid things, but you usually have a good reason. I trust your judgment.”

She couldn’t help herself, Natasha surged forward and kissed her wife with all she had. Maria was just so…

“You’re an angel.” She whispered, “You’re just absolutely perfect.”

“Hush you.” Maria averted her eyes with a bashful smile, “And don’t distract me from what I was saying.”

“Sorry.” She wasn’t sorry at all.

“Give me plausible deniability. You work the kid from your side, and I’ll make sure SHIELD can facilitate her. But I can’t be involved in whatever crimes the two of you are up to.”

“We’re not committing crimes!”

Maria raised an eyebrow, “Aside from aiding a fugitive, I _know_ the files SHIELD has on the victims didn’t copy themselves. You gave them to her. So you need to keep me out of the loop. I can’t know anything Nat.”

“I don’t like that.”

“That’s just how it’s going to be babe.” Maria kissed her scrunched up nose, “Now you can tell me how perfect I am.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Would you like to order something?” a cheery young waitress asked her.

“Apple pie and a coffee please. Black.” Natasha said politely.

“I’d like a coffee too.” Max sat down across from her, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

“You’re too young for coffee.” Natasha admonished without thinking, “It’s bad for you.”

Max rolled her eyes dramatically, “Fiiiiiiine. I’ll have a lemonade.”

The smirk she send Natasha was an obvious challenge to lecture her on her sugar intake.

“It’ll rot your teeth.” Natasha turned to the waitress, “She’ll have a citrus tea.”

Max groaned and the waitress send her a pitiful smirk, “My mom would do the same for me when I was your age.”

Natasha spluttered, turning red as a tomato and Max threw her head back laughing.

“Not her mom.”Natasha managed to utter through her shock.

“Oh I’m sorry. I just assumed. But yeah, you do look way too young to be her mother.”

The waitress made a show of looking up and down Natasha’s body.

Natasha had the trained instinct to blush like a civilian at the blatant leering, but Max shuffled in her seat and groaned.

“Oh God! Not my mom, but she’s still my adult! Ew!”

“Max!” Natasha scolded, “Keep it down, will you?”

The teenager shrunk a little.

“I am so sorry!” Natasha turned back to the waitress, “Teenagers.”

The waitress nodded, a little wide-eyed, “I’ll uh… I’ll be right back with your order.”

“I’m your adult?! Really?” Natasha huffed a little once the woman was out of earshot.

Max shrugged, “She was going to hit on you. You’re married and I’m on a tight schedule. We don’t have time for dalliances like that.”

Natasha grumped.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Max was a little exasperated, “But face it, you’re an adult and I’m not. We have to claim some sort of a connection for us to be able to meet like this. So, you’re my adult. It’s the easiest explanation that doesn’t require any details.”

Narrowing her eyes, Natasha grumped even harder. Stupid child just had to be right, hadn’t she?

Another waitress brought them their order, breaking the glaring match between the two assassins.

“Why are you here Max?”

The teenager shrugged, wrapping her hands around her steaming mug.

“Come on kid, what do you need?”

“Nothing.” Max seemed to lose her usual confidence, “Just… nothing.”

Natasha took pity on her and decided to give her a little time. She could easily see that Max needed to just take a breath.

The redhead poked at her pie, but she could feel Max’s eyes burning holes in the back of her hand.

“Max?” Natasha cringed when she recognized the look on her face, “When was the last time you ate?”

Max seemed to contemplate the question. The fact that she had to think about it made Natasha a little sick.

“When did I visit your place?”

“Two days ago.” Natasha pushed her plate over to the kid, “Eat.”

Max hesitated for the slightest moment, but then happily tucked in. Natasha remembered when she was her age, how Red Room would make them go without food for days. To build character. Or to break it. It disgusted her beyond words.

She sipped her coffee, eyes trained on the girl that was practically inhaling the pie. Every time, Natasha was surprised at how childlike Max was. She was just a girl.

“How old are you?” Natasha wondered.

Max looked up, whipped cream on the corner of her mouth, “Huh? I don’t know.”

It sounded so horribly casual.

“Max…” Natasha sighed, “Why do you keep this life up? You don’t know your name, your age. What do you know?”

“I don’t have much of choice.” Max turned her attention back on her food, indicating that the conversation was over. But it left Natasha with a foul taste in her mouth.

“You can’t come over to my place anymore.” Natasha changed the subject, “Maria is worried about it. She needs to remain as impartial as possible.”

“Why?”

“She still leads the search to you Max. You’re still wanted.”

“Then arrest me.” Max challenged her.

Natasha shook her head with a fond smile, “You remind of a little hissing kitten. You’re too cute when you try to threaten me.”

“I am not cute!”

“I am not arresting you Max. You know I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“I have no idea. You fascinate me.” Natasha shrugged, “I have bigger plans for you than a cell on a black site.”

“Your cells can’t hold me.”

“I know.”

“What are your plans for me?”

Natasha smirked, “You’ll see kid. All in due time.”

Max put her fork down, “I’ve been looking into those reports you gave me. And I did some background checking of my own.”

The change in subject threw her off a little. But she noted that talking about a future made Max uncomfortable. Natasha knew that any information on the kid might be useful someday.

“Find anything interesting?” Natasha doubted it. Maria had made those reports, there was no way anything would be left out of them.

The teenager nodded, “They had all ties to organized crime. The HYDRA-agent, one of them had a boyfriend who financed terrorism, one of them was a terrorist. Etcetera.”

“Terrorism?”

“Yeah, but our friend Calvin Dupont, the accountant. He’s as clean as… a clean thing.”

“I’m sure you only had to take him out because of the CIA thing. That project.”

Max sat up a little straighter in her chair, “It would be best if you just forgot about that project Natasha.”

“Why is that?”

“You have no idea what you’re messing with.” Max admitted, “Just stay away from it.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Any argument Max was about to make, was interrupted by her phone.

She frowned at the device, and then turned her attention back to Natasha.

“Who’s Sharon Carter?”

Natasha blinked dumbly.

“Did you send her in?” Max was raising her voice.

“Yes.”

“Is she a friend of yours?”

Natasha nodded, “She’s Maria’s friend.”

Max glared coldly, “She’s compromised. How much time do you need to extract her?”

“25 minutes.”

“Traffic is bad today.” Max shook her head, “You’ll need 35.”

“Okay, 35 minutes.”

“I’ll give you 40 minutes headstart. Tick tock Agent Romanoff.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha was pushing her bike to its very limit, swerving through the busy New York City traffic like a woman possessed. She had put her wristwatch on its timer function. Traffic had already wasted 8 precious minutes.

She could still see Max’s menacing grimace, telling her to hurry as she herself stood up to go hunt one of Maria’s best friends.

The thought of Maria made her accelerate a little more. She couldn’t let anything happen to Sharon.

“Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up.” she had immediately tried to get a hold of the annoying blonde, but of course, Natasha was met with the answering machine time and time again. Sharon’s chipper voice ringing through her headset, asking her to call again later, was really starting to grate on her nerves.

In the distance she could already start to see the CIA headquarters. 10 minutes had gone by already.

Natasha’s head was hammering in her chest. What if she didn’t make it?

With squeaking tires, Natasha parked her bike and ran into the building.

“I need Sharton Carter. Right now!” she ran into the lobby yelling at no one in particular.

Immediately, several agents pulled their gun on her, ordering her to stand down.

“I’m a SHIELD agent!” Natasha yelled, flashing her badge, “Get me Agent Carter! It’s a matter of life and death!”

The agents stared at her for a minute, making Natasha wonder if they ever heard the term competence. Didn’t CIA agents need to train? Or at least possess some basic intelligence?

Finally, someone put his gun away to make a phonecall. Natasha could only pray it wouldn’t take too long.

The minutes ticked away on her timer. 28 minutes left. And then Max would… Natasha didn’t even want to think of what she would do.

It took Sharon 7 whole minutes to get to her. The longest freaking minutes of Natasha’s life.

With only 21 minutes on the clock, Natasha didn’t have to explain to an angry looking double agent what was happening.

“Come with me. Now.” Natasha grabbed her arm and pulled her outside.

“Romanoff! Have you lost your mind?” Sharon protested loudly.

Briefly, Natasha considered knocking the blonde out. It would make her life so much easier.

“You’re compromised and there’s a hit out on you.” Natasha pushed her towards her bike, “Put my helmet on, and sit in front of me. I’ll block you.”

“I can’t drive that thing!” Sharon’s voice went up in panic.

“I drive, you just hang low.” Natasha put the helmet on Sharon’s head herself, and pushed again, “Hurry.”

Normally, Natasha would feel a little pleasure in seeing the unflappable Carter scurry around like a frightened mouse. But if she was being honest with herself, she felt just as frightened.

Max was on a mission. And Natasha had the feeling she would stop at nothing to complete it.

18 minutes left and Natasha finally revved up the bike again, launching herself and Sharon back into traffic.

On a good day, this trip would take about 25 minutes, and it was not a good day.

Natasha knew she was endangering the entire New York population with her driving style. Running red lights and stop signs, zigzagging through the hellish traffic.

15 minutes left.

Road works. Traffic in front of her was slowing down to a near stop. But she couldn’t slow down. It would mean the end of the woman in front of her. The agent she had send in to do the dirty work. Sharon would not go into her ledger.

Natasha swerved onto the sidewalk, making people duck aside to avoid colliding with the bike.

Behind her, she could hear police sirens blaring. 11 minutes. She accelerated and swerved back onto the street and into traffic.

The Triskelion wasn’t far anymore. She was going to call ahead but then realized that her Bluetooth was inside her helmet. The helmet Sharon wore Natasha couldn’t call anyone.

8 minutes. She sped up a little more. They were so close. She couldn’t lose now. Her heart was in her throat and she felt like throwing up from the stress. But she couldn’t give up.

Natasha could feel Sharon shake in her arms. Only 5 minutes left. The Triskelion was as the end of this street. Natasha pushed to just drive that little bit harder.

She hit the brakes in front of the building and let her beloved bike just fall to the ground. 2 minutes. She didn’t have time to park. Natasha ignored the looks from the startled SHIELD agents and dragged Sharon with her.

The doors opened too slowly for her liking, but she was finally able to pull Sharon inside. Natasha heaved a breath. They made it.

39 minutes and 58 seconds

Her timer beeped, followed by a shot that made her jump. Right were Sharon’s head had just been, was a bullet imbedded in the bulletproof glass.

Exactly 40 minutes. Max had timed it perfectly.

“What the hell just happened?!” Sharon pulled the helmet off her head, “Did someone just shoot at me?”

The adrenaline was still rushing through Natasha, “Go to Maria’s office. I’ll explain in an hour or so.”

“Where are you going?” Sharon questioned, “Natasha? Natasha!”

But Natasha was already out the building.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out from where Max had taken the shot, though it helped to be an assassin.

There was a building 1500 yards away, an office that had recently gone bankrupt and left the building empty. Natasha had already complained that the place was perfect to take out SHIELD agents.

Natasha was angry. So angry. Even though she had no right to be. Max had kept to the 40 minutes they agreed on.

The elevator was out, but Natasha was running up the stairs on pure rage.

She found Max on the fifteenth floor, casually stowing her rifle away in a guitarcase.

“You! Is this all a freaking game to you?!” Natasha didn’t think when she grabbed the teenager by her collar and lifted her in the air.

Max barely blinked, “A game? Nat, I waited 40 minutes. She’s alive, isn’t she? What’s your problem?”

“I had to race through New York! That’s my problem!” Natasha yelled, “I had to endanger so many to save the life of one!”

“I gave you the chance to save her, I didn’t force you to take it. You could have let me shoot her. It was your choice.”

Natasha tossed her to the ground like a doll, “It was not my choice! You gave me no choice the minute you told me you were going to kill her!”

“I have a job to do!” Max scrambled up, “A job that I purposely sabotaged for you!”

Natasha fell quiet.

“Yeah, you didn’t think about that, did you?” Max was yelling too, “I gave you Dupont and now I gave you that agent! I am defying my orders for you!”

“I never asked you to.”

“You don’t have to! Don’t you think I know that I am on the wrong side?! Don’t you think I know that kids my age don’t do the shit I do?!” Natasha was sure she saw a tear, “You of all people should understand!”

“I do understand.” Natasha nodded. She remembered the missions she failed for Red Room. And she remembered the repercussions. “Come to SHIELD with me.”

Max let out a humorless laugh, “You think you can protect me?! You don’t even know what you’re up against!”

“You can tell me!”

Max shook her head, “Sometimes I think you are more of a child than I am, Widow. I am going to leave now. And you are not going to follow me. Or I will kill you.”

Natasha could only stare with tears in her eyes as Max strolled away as if nothing had happened.


	14. Chapter 14

She hadn’t heard from Max since their… misunderstanding.

It bothered Natasha more than she’d like to admit.

Not only did she have to explain what had happened to a very angry Maria Hill, she also had to try and convince NYPD to drop the charges against. Reckless driving, really? That’s the least criminal thing she’d ever done.

But she could live with those things. They were just minor annoyances. What she couldn’t deal with was the worry. She was so worried.

It wasn’t like Max to just disappear. Not on her. Ever since they met, Max had been in touch at least once a day. Just a stupid joke or a rude observation. A little something to let Natasha know that she was still alive.

But now, nothing.

And it was driving Natasha up the wall.

She had yelled at Clint, broken a rookie agent, made another one cry for his mommy and, the worst one, she had snapped at Maria.

Her amazing wife had been nothing been doting and, well, amazing. She was there for Natasha while the redhead dealt with these things she had never really felt before.

Not true.

She had felt this, but only when Maria was involved. That absolute terror of not knowing if she would ever see her again, she knew it. Maybe a little too well.

Maria was trying so hard to help her through it.

But she didn’t deserve that. Not at all.

Not when she had laid a hand on Max the way she did.

Never before had Natasha lost her temper like that. She was angry. So angry. And afraid. But most of all, she was sad.

It was such a stupid thing. Natasha knew who Max was. She had known all along that the girl could kill in the blink of an eye. Natasha had even seen her victims.

But the sight of Max telling her she had 40 minutes to save a life, knowing that Max actually took the shot… Natasha didn’t know how to deal with that. She didn’t know how to feel about Max standing up and walking away to go kill somebody. Somebody they both knew, was innocent.

Natasha was sad.

Sad for all the things Max could have been, could have done, if only she had gotten the choice.

Natasha was going to give her that choice. She was going to save Max, no matter what. And then she ruined it. She had ruined everything.

And she had driven Max right back into the arms of those who used her.

Natasha missed her. Her arrogance. That little flicker of joy in her green eyes when she thought she had outsmarted the Black Widow. The way she would run her tongue over her teeth when she was deep in thoughts.

She just missed her.

“Nat?” Maria’s voice pulled her away from her thoughts, “Are you coming to bed?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” She didn’t even sound like herself anymore. All distant and pained.

The couch dipped when Maria sat down next to her, but Natasha couldn’t look at her. The pity she would see in her blue eyes would be her undoing.

“You said that two hours ago honey. It’s nearly three in the morning. You need to sleep.”

“I can’t sleep.”

Maria took her hand and squeezed softly, “You should try Nattie.”

“No.”

“You’ve been awake for days.” Maria was gentle but firm, “You will not find her if you’re too tired to lift your own head.”

“I won’t find her anyways.” Natasha felt defeated.

“Not if you keep sitting here on the couch. She won’t just appear Nat.” Maria was so gentle with her, like she could break. She could.

“You need to sleep baby. We’ll start looking again tomorrow.”

Natasha let herself be dragged to the bedroom. Maria changed her and tucked her in like a child. She cried when Maria wrapped her arms around her. And she cried harder when she realized that Max had never felt that kind of love.

She drifted off wondering if Max had a warm place to sleep at night.

 

* * *

 

Maria bounded up the stairs to their apartment, muttering curses with every step she took.

She was supposed to meet with the World Security Council in three hours, and one of the rookies had bumped into her at the Triskelion, making her spill her coffee all over her shirt.

And of course, this had to be the one time that she didn’t have a clean shirt in her office.

These past few weeks had been a mess. Honestly, ever since SHIELD assigned her to that Garrote-case, her life had turned crazy. And now Natasha wouldn’t do anything but stare into the distance and cry. Maria had no idea how to even begin to pick up the pieces.

“God fucking dammit.”

If she hurried, she _might_ just make it on time.

Reaching her door, keys in hand, Maria stopped dead in her tracks.

In front of her sat a young girl, curled up against the wall next to her frontdoor. Her ragged breathing told Maria that she was struggling to stay conscious.

“Who are you?” Maria asked to get her attention, though she figured she already knew that answer.

The girl startled, wincing at her own sudden movements, “Shit! You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I live here kid, you’re the one who’s not supposed to be here.” Maria deadpanned, “Though somehow I doubt you’re here to kill me.”

“I need the medkit.” The girl mumbled, cradling her left side gingerly, “But I couldn’t force the lock with my arm.”

Maria sighed, knowing that there was no way in hell she would ever make it to her meeting. She unlocked the door and turned back to the hurt teenager.

“Can you stand?”

“I think so.” But the girl struggled to get her sore body moving. Maria bent down and scooped the surprisingly light girl up in her arms.

She could feel blood soaking through her shirt, but hey, it was already ruined anyway. Natasha was _so_ buying her a new one.

Maria carefully set the girl down on top of her table, thankful once again that they had bought an easy to clean glass table, instead of the wooden one that Nat was so crazy about.

“I’m going to go get the medkit, okay? Try to take your shirt off if you can?” Maria said in her most calming voice, turning to rush to the bathroom.

“Are you going to kill me?” a weak voice stopped her, “After you fix me up? Cause then I’d rather you just let me die now.”

Maria scowled at the girl, “You listen to me here young lady! No one, and I mean no one, is allowed to die on my furniture! Got it?”

“Yes sir.” The girl mocked softly, “I can see why Natasha likes you.”

Maria gave her a little smile in return, “Come on kid, shirt off. I’ll be right back.”

Maria took her short time in the bathroom as a chance to collect herself. The situation she found herself was completely surreal. The little assassin she had been trying to catch for weeks, was now bleeding out on her kitchen table.

“Goddammit Natasha.” Maria muttered.

She took a deep breath and stalked back to the kitchen, medical supplies in hands.

The sight in front of her would have made her laugh if it wasn’t so damn tragic.

Max was completely stuck in her t-shirt. Her good arm was flailing in the air, trying to pull the garment over her head.

“Hold up, hold up!” Maria put her stuff down and rushed to help her. The t-shirt stuck to her bloodied skin, making the teen wince as Maria pulled it off, “Sorry kid.”

“Max.”

“Max.” Maria nodded, “Tell me what happened?”

“I stood on the wrong side of the gun.” Max winced as Maria’s fingers started probing her wounds, “My side is grazed, two shots in my arm. One went through, the other bullet is still in there.”

“Hmmm…” Maria hummed, inspecting the damage done, “All of these need stitches. I’m starting with your arm, get that bullet out, that should make the worst of the bleeding stop.”

Max nodded with a pained grimace, “I supposed I won’t be able to get a shot of whisky to numb me?”

“Are you even old enough to drink?” Maria asked, cleaning the wounds with rubbing alcohol.

“No idea. Fuck that stings.” Max hissed, clenching her teeth.

“I know.” Maria nodded, pulling a box of painkillers out of the kit and holding them out to Max, “You should take these painkillers.”

Max eyed the offered pills warily, “I don’t think I should.”

“Take them or I’ll shove them down your throat.” Maria threatened.

“Fine, fine. No need to get so dramatic about it.” Max quickly swallowed two pills dry, “Happy?”

“Very.” Maria scowled a little, “Now close your eyes kid.”

“Why?”

“God, you’re worse than Natasha.” Maria sighed, frustration evident in her voice, “Because I’m going to stick this giant metal thing in your arm to pull a foreign object out of your flesh, and trust me, you don’t want to see that show.”

Max’s face contorted, but she closed her eyes like Maria asked. “You have done this before right? I’m not being used as a testing subject?”

“I’m married to Natasha Romanoff, what do you think?”

As gently as she could, Maria pulled the bullet out Max’s arm. The girl stayed eerily quiet during the procedure, even though Maria knew first hand that it hurt like hell.

“It’s out.” Maria announced, swabbing the wound with more rubbing alcohol, “Just the stitches now, and you’ll be as good as new.”

“I can do that myself.” Max moved to grab the needle and thread from Maria, but received a swift slap on her hand.

Maria fixed her with a glare, “You have three bulletholes in your body. You have lost Thor knows how much blood, if you think I’m letting you touch any pointy object right know, you are out of your mind.”

Max put her good arm up in mock surrender, “Sorry _mom_. AUW! Did you just poke me with that needle?!”

“Don’t make mom-jokes.” Maria admonished her, “Now sit still.”

Max had the common sense to shut up and let Maria work on her.

It took more stitches than Maria had originally thought, but eventually Max was put back together again.

The painkillers and the shock from being shot at seemed to have taken a toll on Max. Her wit had disappeared and left her looking drowsy and tinier than ever.

“I’m going to get you a shirt to put on, okay? And then you can take a nap.”

“I don’t need a nap.” Max protested weakly. Her face was pale and her eyes were unfocused from the loss of blood. Maria knew that her entire body must be hurting so bad, even with the painkillers.

“I’m not taking no for an answer.” Maria smiled softly, “I’ll be right back.”

She stopped in the bathroom to wash the blood of her hands and put the medkit back in place. Then she went to the bedroom she shared with Nat.

Maria quickly pulled on a clean shirt herself and then raided Natasha’s closet for something that would fit the tiny assassin. She settled on one of Nat’s old t-shirts. One that she knew the redhead wouldn’t miss if it got some blood on it.

When she got back to the kitchen, Max was almost asleep on the table.

“Hey, Tiny?” Maria whispered, trying to rouse the girl, “Come on kid, let’s get you dressed and then you can nap.”

Maria had to help Max into the shirt. And even though it was Natasha’s, it was still big on the teen.

“I’m going to put you on the couch to nap okay?” Maria lifted her up, “I’ll call Nat and make you something to eat.”

Barely conscious, Max tucked her head firmly in Maria’s neck. “You’re so soft.” She muttered quietly, clearly out of it.

Maria carefully laid her down on the couch, draping a blanket over her. “Sleep little girl, you’ll feel better soon.”

She sat and stared at the teenager for a little while, just to make sure she was settling in, and not in too much pain.

 

* * *

 

Natasha arrived barely ten minutes after she got the call. Maria didn’t even want to know how many laws her wife had broken to get to them so fast.

“Max?” Natasha barreled through the door like a mad woman, “What happened?”

“Will you shush!” Maria admonished her from the kitchen, “She’s sleeping!”

Natasha glanced at the sleeping assassin on their couch, “Is it bad?”

Maria shook her head, “She’ll survive. You on the other hand have some explaining to do!”

Natasha had the decency to look guilty, “I’m sorry baby.”

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it Natasha.” Maria glared, “I come home to find the person we’ve been trying to _arrest_ for weeks at my door, bleeding all over the fucking place!”

Maria waved a spatula at Natasha, “And then I have to fucking operate on a _child_. You said a teenager! A young woman! For fuck’s sake Nat! She’s a _BABY_!”

“Maria…” “I’m not done!” Maria interrupted angrily.

“Do you have any idea what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten home early? She would have been dead Natasha! DEAD! I would have come home to a _dead child_!”

Natasha’s head jumped up at her wife’s desperate sob. She reached out instinctively and cradled Maria in her arms.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” Natasha murmured.

Maria cried, letting all the pent up confusion and anger and sadness leave her body.

“What do we do now?” Natasha asked carefully.

Maria sniffed, “I don’t know Nat. I just don’t know anymore.”


	15. Chapter 15

Natasha had put herself in front of the couch, watching Max while Maria cooked.

She couldn’t believe the way things had gone down. Their lunch-turned-disaster was only a week ago for fuck’s sake. And now…

Nat also couldn’t believe that Maria hadn’t killed her. But she assumed that once the raw emotions of the day had faded a little, Maria would no doubt tear her a new one. And she deserved it.

She glanced up at Maria, who was desperately trying to keep busy in the kitchen to avoid having to think about this mess.

Natasha knew how hard Maria was taking this. As Deputy Director of SHIELD she had a duty to fulfill. And that duty was now napping on her couch. She should take Max in, make her pay for her crimes.

But as Maria, she just couldn’t.

Natasha’s eyes trailed over the sleeping assassin. She was so pale. Without her sassy comments and stupid jokes, more than ever, she looked like a small little girl.

“Poor little _мышка_.” Natasha muttered under her breath.

“I am _not_ a mouse.” Max grumbled, opening one eye.

Natasha cracked a smile, “Welcome back to the land of the living. How do you feel?”

“Like I just got shot.”

“Don’t joke about that.” Natasha grumbled, “You worried me.”

“Sorry.” Max looked away, “I didn’t mean to.”

Natasha patted her knee in an awkward display of affection, “It’s okay kid. Now, how do you really feel?”

“Tired. Sore.” Max sat up, “Your wife patched me up though, she’s good at that.”

“She’s had a lot of experience.”

Max didn’t quite grin at her lame attempt at a joke. “Well, thanks for everything. I think I should get going now.”

Natasha gaped at the teenager, but Max tried to get up anyway, hissing and wincing and swaying precariously when she finally stood on her feet.

“Max, you can’t…” Natasha didn’t get to finish, because she had to duck a spatula launched in their direction. Probably launched right at her head.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?!” Maria angrily followed the route her spatula had taken, towering over the two of them.

Max obviously didn’t realize the amount of trouble they were in. While Natasha shrunk back, the teen shrugged confidently, “I need to go. Thanks for stitching me back together. I’ll return the t-shirt soon.”

She tried to step away, but she was blocked by a scowling Commander.

“I had nothing to do with it!” Natasha cleared up quickly, hoping to avoid the storm.

Considering the glare Maria threw at her, she wasn’t escaping anything.

“You are staying here.” Maria ordered.

Natasha could see the change in Max’s posture. She went from droopy and tired to squaring her shoulders and narrowing her eyes, calculating the best and fastest way to get out of the apartment.

Natasha knew that look, she had worn it herself millions of times. She was on her feet and in front of Maria in a second, bodily blocking her wife from the small assassin.

“Max! Down!”

Max glared at the redhead, “I am not staying.”

“Yes you are!” Maria was not backing down from behind Natasha.

Max’s eyes flickered between the pair of them and the front door. She put one foot back, balancing herself properly. Fully prepared for a fight. “Make me.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, “Really? Your left side is compromised and you’re threatening to take down two SHIELD agents? Really kid?”

“Not threatening, promising.” Max growled.

Natasha adjusted her stance and brought her hands up. If the kid wanted to get her ass kicked, she was going to get it.

“You’re going to have to kill me before I let you take me in!” Max yelled.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Maria’s voice stopped them in their tracks, “Are you guys done with your pissing contest? Max, you _are_ staying! You can’t even properly shower with that arm. Let alone cut your food.”

“No!”

Maria crossed her arms, “Will you stop yelling? We have neighbors. Nat, stop being so ridiculous and get out of my way. You’re not going to fight a kid that just got shot.”

Natasha grumbled but listened to her wife anyways, ignoring the smirk Max send her.

“I am not taking you in Max.” Maria said, “But I want you to stay here with us. You just got shot, you need to recover.”

Max glared, “I have safehouses for that.”

“You need help. And you don’t have anyone but us.”

“I don’t have you! I don’t even know you! And last time I saw Natasha she was tossing me around like a doll!”

Natasha grimaced, “Yeah I’m sorry about that… I lost my temper a bit…”

Max huffed indignantly.

“Just sit down, kid.” Natasha tried not to sound too desperate, “Please. I feel awful about what I did. You didn’t deserve that. I just freaked out.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” The teen sat down like Natasha asked, “I gave you enough time.”

“I know. It just scared me.” Natasha plopped down next to her, “You shouldn’t know the things you know. You should not know how much time it would take to save someone from you.”

Max shrugged, “It’s the job.”

“It shouldn’t be your job.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Max wasn’t defiant, she was genuinely asking her. And Natasha didn’t have an answer.

“Stay here until you’re better.” Maria offered, “You’re pretty much useless as an asset with that injury.”

“And what will you do to me when I’m healed up?” Max didn’t trust them.

“I don’t know.” Maria was honest, “But SHIELD will make sure that you won’t be locked up Max. You’re safe with us.”

Max didn’t answer. She just glared a little. Natasha could imagine how lost she felt. Comfort and kindness weren’t things that were offered to a child assassin. Not for free anyways.

“I don’t have any stuff here.” It was a weak excuse. Max was desperately searching for a reason not to accept the invitation. The promise of a home, however temporary it was, was something she had never known before.

“I can get you some clothes from one of your safehouses?” Natasha offered quickly. She wasn’t surprised at her own outburst. After what happened, she would give anything to just have Max right there where she could see her.

“They’re company safehouses. They’re under surveillance, no doubt. They’re looking for me.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “As if you don’t have any safehouses of your own. I’m not stupid Max. Lesson one, don’t trust anyone, not even your own organization.”

Max smirked guiltily, and for a second Natasha could see that little mischievous spark in her eyes that she missed so much, “I might have a few places.”

 

* * *

 

“It’s not much, but it’ll be your space. Nat and I will try to stay out.”

Max gaped like a child seeing a magic trick for the first time, “This is awesome!”

Maria frowned as she looked around the room. A single bed and an empty closet. That was it.

They never quite finished decorating this room, but nobody ever used it so it didn’t matter.

“Nat will be back with your stuff soon, but I put some of her PJ’s on the bed. You can use them for now. And there’s a clean toothbrush on the sink. I’ll go get you some more painkillers while you get ready for bed.”

“It’s only 10 PM?”

Maria shrugged, “Bedtime routines are important for children, aren’t they?”

“I didn’t exactly grow up with nighttime stories.” Max wore a sad smile, “The monsters under my bed were actual real monsters.”

Maria shuffled awkwardly, she didn’t have a response to that.

“I make you uncomfortable?” Max was curious.

“Very.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, “I have no idea what to do with you.”

Max nodded, “Well, I have no idea what to do with you either. You’re nice. I don’t know what to with nice.”

Strangely enough, it made Maria feel a little more at ease.

“But I do know that 10 is waaaay too early to go to bed.” Max grinned wickedly.

“Nice try Tiny.” Maria rolled her eyes, “You’re going to bed. Do you need help with your jammies?”

 

* * *

 

The apartment was completely dark when Natasha returned from Max’s safehouse. Just as the kid had told her, there was a ready-made suitcase waiting by the door.

“You never know what could happen.” Max had said.

Natasha hated that she was right.

She placed the suitcase by the door and kicked her shoes off. For once, she didn’t feel too excited to join Maria in their bedroom.

They didn’t have a chance to talk yet, but Natasha knew that Maria was angry. Maybe angry wasn’t the right word. Maybe it was more a kind of… lost.

That’s how she herself felt. Lost. Confused. She had no idea where to begin to even explain what had happened. Let alone think of a solution.

She heard a noise coming from the guestroom and noticed that the light still shone through the door.

Natasha knocked softly, “Maxie? Are you okay?”

No answer came, so she pushed the door open. It was her apartment after all, she had a right to check up on the kid. No?

She found Max tangled in a mess of sheets on the hardwood floor.

“Max what are you doing?” Natasha quickly bend down to help the hurt teenager.

“Did you fall out of the bed?”

“No… I can’t sleep on the bed.”

Max was a little sullen and very pained.

“Yes you can. It’s yours for now.” Natasha tried to give her a sincere smile, “We don’t mind Max.”

“I don’t mean it like that.” Max was grumpy, “I mean I can’t sleep on _a bed._ Any bed. I can’t.”

“Oh.” Natasha didn’t know what to say. A feeling she had a lot around the young girl.

“You can go to bed now.” Max urged her on, annoyed.

Natasha shook her head, “I can’t let you sleep on the floor.”

“Whyyyyy? Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” Max was groaning like a petulant child, “Just let me sleep on the damned floor.”

“What’s going on here?” Maria walked in, a little disheveled from sleep, “Why are you on the floor.”

“Ugh!” Max dropped her head on her pile of blankets, burying herself completely.

Natasha shrugged when she felt Maria’s questioning eyes on her, “She says she can’t sleep on beds.”

“Ah.” Maria nodded, “You’ve been sleeping on the floor?”

The heap on the floor nodded.

“Yeah, I remember this from when I came back from my tours.” Maria remembered with a fond smile, she loved the military, “I couldn’t sleep on the bed for months after. Too soft.”

“It feels like the mattress is going to swallow me.” The response was muffled, “Like it’s going to suffocate me.”

“I know. You can’t sleep on the floor though, you’ll hurt yourself even more.”

Max pulled the blanket off her head with a huff, not caring how it made her short hair stick out, “I can’t sleep on beds.”

Maria didn’t answer but ran out of the room.

Max threw Natasha a look.

“I have no idea Maxie. Just go with it. If she has an idea, it’s usually a good one.”

The kid seemed to take her word for it.

“You should have said something.”

“Why?”

Natasha shrugged, “That’s how life is lived on this side. You have a problem, you say something.”

“Your side of the world is very different than mine.” Max noted.

“I know.”

“Did they… did you have a bed?”

“Hmmm.” Natasha nodded, “They chained us to it. Lesson one, learn how to escape the handcuffs to defend yourself.”

“What happened if you didn’t escape them?”

The question was innocent enough, but it made Natasha think back to a time she wished she could forget.

“If you can’t get out, you can’t defend yourself.”

“There were many of you?” Natasha nodded again. If she said something now, her voice might crack.

“That’s the difference between us.” Max said softly, “I’m alone. I know that in the end, no matter what I do, they won’t kill me because they can’t replace me.”

“Found it!” Maria came back with a triumphant grin and a heavy looking bag, “My cot!”

She set it up quickly, happy to ignore the obvious tension in the room. Natasha knew that she had picked up on it, but they had had their portion of drama for one day. Maria was right to ignore it.

“There you go.” Maria clicked the last bar in place, “Hard as a rock, but you’re off the floor.”

Max pushed down on the fabric with her good hand, making a pleased noise when it didn’t give.

“You think you can sleep on that Tiny?” Maria asked eagerly. Natasha could see how happy her wife was at being able to do _something_ useful.

“Yeah, I think so.” Max scrambled to lay down, wincing when she put strain on her injuries. She shuffled a little to find a good spot and then smiled brightly at Maria. Natasha didn’t think she had seen the young girl so pleased before.

“Thank you.”

“It’s alright sweetheart.” Maria grabbed the blankets from the floor and unthinkingly tucked Max in. It was stupidly domestic and Natasha could see the different emotions wash over Max’s face. She guessed that probably no one had ever done that for her before.

“Goodnight Max.” Maria was still purposely ignoring anything that could be wrong.

Max nodded, a little stunned, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight kid, wake us if you need anything.”


	16. Chapter 16

Maria damn near screamed when she flipped the lights on in the kitchen.

Max was perched up on the counter, her small frame drowning in Natasha’s pajamas.

“Max! You scared me, I didn’t expect you up so early.”

“Sorry.” Max’s answer was barely heard and Maria wondered briefly if she should be worried about how sullen she was.

“You okay?” she asked offhandedly, “You sleep well?”

“Uhu.” Maybe Max wasn’t a person of many words in the morning.

“Can you push the button on the coffeemaker for me kid?” Maria asked, attacking the toaster. They seriously needed to buy a new one, the damn thing always got stuck.

“And go sit at the table. Countertops aren’t made for sitting”

Max stared at her like she had never seen another human being, but did what was asked without protest.

“How is your arm?”

“Fine.”

Maria had heard that _fine_ before. She placed the bottle of painkillers in front of the broody teen, along with a yoghurt and fresh orange juice.

“Can you try to tell me that again? Without lying maybe?”

Max glared at her, but Maria matched it easily. She wasn’t Nick Fury’s righthand for nothing. She could handle a lot more than cranky assassins.

“My side stings with every move, but that’s okay. My arm feels like it’s going to burn off.” Max sighed, “It hurts.”

Maria knew the feeling, “Eat your breakfast and then you can take a painkiller. I’ll bring home a sling from SHIELD tonight.

“You’re leaving?”

It probably wasn’t meant to sound so… small. Lost. But that was how Maria heard it.

“I have to go to work Tiny. Natasha is staying home with you. And I’ll take my comp days soon. But I can’t just not show up for work out of the blue.”

“I know.”

Maria finally pried a piece of toast out. “Butter or jelly?”, she asked while juggling the hot bread.

“I can do it myself.” Max reached out to grab it from her, but Maria held it out of her range.

“You can, but I will do it. I don’t want you to put so much strain on your arm. Now, butter or jelly?”

“Jelly please.” Max was petulant like a little child, but Maria didn’t pay attention to it.

“Here you go kid.” She cut the toast into triangles, “Do you want some fruit? We have bananas, apples…” she stood up to check the fridge, “Hmmm… that’s it. Remind me to send Nat to the store?”

Max frowned deeply when she placed an apple in front of her.

“What? You don’t like apples?”

“I’m not eating all of this.”

“You need to eat healthy Max, you’re still growing.”

Max glared, “You don’t know that. I could be 20. You don’t know.”

“Well, you don’t know either!” Maria snapped. As soon as she said it, she felt the rush of guilt. She knew what a touchy subject age was, she was married to Natasha after all.

“I’m sorry Max, it’s just… can you just not?” She didn’t quite raise her voice, but Max could clearly sense her frustration, “I get it kid, I really do. You’re in pain, surrounded by strangers in a strange place, you’re grumpy, confused, and God knows what else. But I’m trying okay?”

Maria swallowed heavily, “I’m trying, but jesus, Tiny, I’m just as lost here as you are. Cut me some slack please. It’s too early for me to deal with your smartass comments. So just… cut it out please. I’m doing the best I can to deal with this shit.”

Max looked down like a petulant child, “I didn’t mean to piss you off.”

“I’m not pissed off, it’s just… you’re in an uncomfortable position here, but just keep in mind that I am too?”

Max nodded but didn’t say anything. Maria decided to leave it. The kid would have gotten the message. She wasn’t stupid.

She was relieved when the loud beeping of the coffeemaker cut through the silence, though she did notice how Max jumped at the sudden noise.

“Naaaaaat! Get up honey!” Maria yelled habitually, pouring coffee in their favorite, ridiculous Captain America mugs.

“Can I have some?” Max asked tentatively.

“It’s bad for you kid.” But she grabbed a third mug anyway. Max could use some slack too.

“Only a little bit though.” Maria tried to sound stern, but Max flashed what she was sure was her first genuine smile at the promise of caffeine, and Maria couldn’t help but fill the cup just the tiniest bit more.

Max eagerly grasped the mug and cradled it close to her chest like a prized possession.

Maria was going to comment, but a particularly sleepy assassin with the worst bedhead in history slouched into the kitchen. Maria chuckled as Natasha just plopped down on the chair and rested her head on the table with a grunt.

Max was wide-eyed, “The Black Widow isn’t a morning person??”

The absolute astonishment almost made Maria choke on her coffee.

“Oh, the Widow is. Natasha Hill, not so much. Unless it’s the one day that I can sleep in, then she’s up at 6.”

Max gaped at the redhead across from her.

“Ugh! Coffeeeeeeee!” Natasha still hadn’t looked up.

Maria smiled and put the coffee down in front of her wife, ignoring Max and her creepy staring.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t so creepy. Max obviously looked up to Natasha. It was kinda cute. And Maria thought that, for Max, there wasn’t anyone better to look up to than Natasha.

“Sweethearts, I need to leave now.” Maria said, checking her watch, “I’ll be home by four, barring any alien-crisis.”

Leaning a hand on Max’s shoulder, Maria bent down to kiss Natasha goodbye. The redhead accepted the affection with a happy hum that made Maria grin. Even at her most stupid, she couldn’t help but be in love with Natasha. She just made it too easy to love her.

She straightened back up, but then without thinking leaned back down and kissed Max’s cheek, ruffling her short hair.

Max looked all kinds of shocked, but like so many things, Maria just chose to ignore it.

“Bye Tiny. Bye honey, I love you.” Maria grabbed her keys and turned on her heel.

“Love you too. Be safe.”

When the door clicked shut, Max took a deep breath.

“You okay there?” Natasha’s voice was hoarse from sleeping.

Max nodded, though a little unsure. “Maria is… a lot.”

“Yeah she is.” Natasha wore a fond grin, “She’s a bit... She doesn’t bullshit around, you know? She means well though. You’ll get used to it.”

“I guess.” Max poked at her toast.

Natasha took it away, taking a bite and then put it back. She grinned knowingly when Max finally started eating.

“She won’t kill you.” Natasha smirked, “And if she does, it won’t be poisoning. She’ll just shoot you.”

Max nodded, “Good to know. Where does she keep the guns?”

“Like I would tell you.”

The two assassins shared a smile.

They had breakfast in silence, Max routinely passing her food to Natasha so that the redhead could prove that it wasn’t tampered with, before chomping down.

“Go watch TV.” Natasha shooed her away, “I’ll come and help you shower when I’m done with the dishes.”

“I don’t need help.” Max sulked.

“Sure you don’t. I’ve heard it’s suuuuper easy to wash your hair with only one arm.”

Max glared, “You know, Maria said that I’m a smartass, but I have a feeling that she was talking about you.”

Natasha only smirked wickedly.

/LINEBREAK/

_“… New York was the scene of a gruesome murder. Witnesses say that the victim was viciously attacked, as if by an animal. Police are still investigating…”_

“You shouldn’t watch that.” Natasha said softly, catching Max’s attention.

“I should. To know if I left any trace.” Her voice was detached, robotic.

“Max…” Natasha didn’t know what to say. She took the remote from the girl and turned the TV off.

Max turned to Natasha, “I don’t need your pity, okay? I don’t need anything from you. I just need to watch that.”

“Why? So you can hear yourself being compared to an animal? A monster?”

“That’s what I am.” Max was dead serious, “That’s what I was trained for. Kill people. Don’t ask questions.”

“What happened in that ally Max?” Natasha asked carefully. Max just hadn’t been the same since she last saw her.

Max shook her head, “I don’t know. I had a target. His back was to me, but I guess he must have heard me. He turned and shot at me. I let him shoot until he was out of bullets. And then I killed him.”

Max was uncharacteristically quiet about it. Pensive almost.

“You think he knew you were coming.” Natasha voiced Max’s thoughts.

“I’m certain of it. I don’t make mistakes. He couldn’t have heard me. Someone let him know.”

Natasha pursed her lips. If Max was right… Suddenly she remembered something.

“Max, you get your assignments through your phone right?” the girl nodded, “Where is it?”

Max rolled her eyes with a smile, “Don’t worry, I destroyed it. I’m untraceable.”

“Good. That’s good.” Natasha said, more to herself than to Max, “What about a tracker? Don’t you have one of those?”

“I used to have a chip implanted. But I took it out a long time ago. I’m untraceable Natasha.”

Natasha sighed deeply. This was not a conversation she ever wanted to have. With anyone.

“You’re very bothered by me.” Max noted, “More than you used to be. Maria is too.”

“I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t realize until now…” Natasha took a breath, “I mean, I knew what you did, but I didn’t really understand until now. I guess I just couldn’t really face the truth. It’s hard.”

“Why?”

Natasha smiled ruefully, “Because. You’re a child Max.”

“So were you.”

Natasha stayed silent for beat. Yes, she was. She was a baby, really. Innocent.

“I was. That’s why it’s so hard for me, I think.” Natasha shrugged, “When I turned myself in and joined SHIELD, I went on some missions of my own. I took down facilities that trained children, all over the world. I couldn’t live with the idea that there were kids out there like me. I thought I destroyed them all…”

“You can never take them all down. That’s just not realistic.”

Natasha shook her head, “I failed Max. I failed you. If I had been a better operative, I could have helped you.”

“I’m sorry that you have to live with that guilt.” Max was sincere, “But you did not do anything to me. You’re not responsible.”

Natasha leaned back into the couch, “Don’t you ever just wonder… what our lives could be if we had just been given a chance?”

“No.” It was a lie. They both knew it was. But it was just so much easier than accepting the truth. People like them, they just didn’t dream anymore.

They stayed quiet for a bit. Natasha looked at Max. Really looked at her. Her big green eyes were a little dull. Sad from pain and confusion. That irritating smirk that Natasha had cursed so many times was gone. Max just didn’t seem like Max anymore.

“Come on Max, that shower will do you good.” Natasha pushed off the couch, “Go pick some clothes to wear today, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

“Yes sir.” The mockery was forced, and it didn’t even sound like a joke, “Maria wants you to go to the store today.”

 

* * *

 

“Stay in my line of sight okay?” Natasha was pushing the cart, “And try not to bump your arm please. Maria will kill me if you pull a stitch.”

She didn’t understand how it had happened. Max was supposed to stay at the apartment. But the teenager had outsmarted her once again and somehow she ended up at the supermarket with an unpredictable and hurt assassin.

Max seemed to smile a little though, so Natasha figured it was worth the trouble.

“It’ll be fine.” Max repeated for the umpteenth time. Natasha didn’t believe a word of it.

Sure enough, she turned to take Maria’s shoppinglist from her purse and when she looked back up, Max had disappeared.

Natasha groaned. She was too old to go play hide and seek in the supermarket. Max wouldn’t go far, she figured. So she decided to just continue her shopping until she ran back into the girl.

And _maybe_ she briefly considered buying a leash.

Max reappeared halfway through her list. Natasha glared at her but didn’t say anything. She just hoped Max would continue to linger behind her a little until they got out.

“Hey Max, if you need anything, you just take it okay?” Natasha said when she realized that she had no idea what the teenager liked, “Cornflakes or cookies… just take it.”

Max nodded with a grin that Natasha didn’t understand. Yet.

Because when she turned to ask the girl something two minutes later, she caught Max redhanded trying to shove a box of cookies under her sweater.

“Max! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

Max shrugged, “Taking cookies? Like you said?”

“I meant take them and put them in the cart!” Natasha was sure that if she were a cartoon, steam would be coming from her ears.

“Well, then how are we going to get them home?”

“Money Max! We don’t steal things! We pay for them!” Natasha stared incredulously at the teenager.

“Right.” Max nodded and placed the cookies in the cart. And then proceeded to unload her entire sweater into the cart. Natasha didn’t think she had ever seen so many candybars and bottles of lemonade just appear.

Natasha sighed dramatically and shook her head disapprovingly at the small assassin. Max only grinned impishly.

She took her attention off the girl. And in seconds, Max had disappeared again.

She was definitely considering that leash now.

“I have money!” Max came back again, proud as could be.

“What do you mean?” Natasha was almost afraid to ask.

“You wanted to pay, so I got us money.” Max waved a wallet in the air.

Natasha’s mouth fell open, “Max! Whose wallet is that?!”

“The old lady over there. She really shouldn’t leave her purse in the cart like that.” Max was so freaking casual about it, Natasha was going to explode.

“Go put it back!”

“But how are you going to pay without money?”

“I have money!” Natasha was trying not to cause a scene, but Max really wasn’t making it easy.

“How?” Max was so confused, it was ridiculous.

“I have a job! Jobs pay!”

“SHIELD pays you?” Max pulled a shocked face. Natasha would find it cute if the girl wasn’t carrying around a stolen wallet in a busy supermarket.

“Yes! Of course they pay me!” Natasha was desperate to get this mess fixed, “Now go put that wallet back!”

“Fiiiiine!” Max groaned, “You know, I stole it with my right hand. I deserve some credit for that.”

Natasha stared at the sulking teenager. “I am not rewarding you for being an ambidextrous thief!”

“My talents remain unappreciated.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha could kiss Maria when she finally got home at four like she promised.

The trip to the supermarket had cheered Max up considerably. But it had also drained the little energy that the hurt girl had. Hence the napping assassin on the couch.

Max hadn’t gone down without a fight though and even Natasha couldn’t deal with the level of grumpiness Max reached. Honestly, she didn’t think there was any person more bitter than that girl in the entire world.

“How was your day?” Maria asked quietly.

“You don’t want to know.” Natasha pulled her in for a quick kiss.

Maria pulled a face, “Was she that bad?”

“She’s just grumpy. She hurts more than she wants to admit.”

“Gosh, I wonder what it’s like to deal with someone like that.” Sarcasm dripped of Maria’s words.

“Hey!” Natasha nudged her playfully, “I am a delight to take care of!”

“Keep telling yourself that honey.” Maria chuckled, stealing another kiss.

“How was work?”

Maria shrugged, “Nothing special. I took two weeks off. Coulson thinks it’s the end of the world.”

“Two weeks? Who’s going to take over?”

“I divided my work over a few different people. It wouldn’t be fair to dump all that on one person. Sharon came by too.” Maria added, “She asked about you. I think she’s starting to like you.”

“If I had known five years ago that all it would take was an assassination attempt, we could have been friends years ago.” Natasha joked.

“Nat!” Maria swatted at her but Natasha caught her wrist easily and pulled her in for a kiss.

“Sorry, not funny.” She mumbled against Maria’s lips.

“You’re forgiven.” Maria whispered back.

Natasha stepped back with a grin, “Did you talk to Fury?”

“About Max? Not specifically. He knows something is up though.”

“I worry about it. What if he wants to lock her away?”

“He won’t. She could be a valuable asset for SHIELD.”

Natasha frowned, “No. She’s more than that Maria, and I’m not going to hand her to SHIELD so that they can continue to use her like she’s being used now. She’s a child. She shouldn’t live this life.”

“I know honey, but be honest, this is the only life she knows.”

“So what? It’s okay to use her as a weapon because she doesn’t know any better?” Natasha raised her voice, “Maria? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No honey, it’s not!” Maria glared, “SHIELD will be the only place where she’s safe though! And honestly, do you really think I would ever send a child into the field?”

Natasha hung her head, “Sorry…”

“But this is the life she knows, and no matter what we do, I don’t think someone like her can ever fit into normal society again. It’s sad, but it’s true and you know it.”

Natasha didn’t dare to respond, she just nodded meekly.

“We have an academy though and a whole bunch of training projects. Those can keep her out of the field for as long as we want to. I don’t want her as a weapon, I want her as an asset. She’s smart and no doubt one of the best people we could ever dream of to recruit. But hey, we’re nowhere near there yet. She isn’t even on our side right now.”

She nodded again. Maria was right. Again. Always. Natasha hadn’t even considered SHIELD Academy.

“You’re too smart sometimes.” Natasha admitted.

Maria grinned, “I’ll take that as an apology. What are we eating tonight?”

“Hamburgers. I let the kid decide.”

“You spoil her too much.” Maria warned teasingly.

“Eh,” Natasha looked in the direction of the sleeping lump on the couch, “I figured she deserves being spoiled a little.”

 

* * *

 

Maria was leaning heavily into Natasha’s side. The movie was not even halfway and she was already counting down the minutes until it was over. She was just too tired.

Natasha was soft and comfortable and just the right kind of warm that she needed. If she just closed her eyes and snuggled her head right there…

“I’m sleepy.” Max announced.

Maria cracked one eye open to look at the girl, “You can go to bed whenever you want Tiny. Do you need help getting changed?”

Max nodded.

“Ooookay.” Maria pushed herself off the couch with a grunt, “Say goodnight to Nat, I’ll go get your painkillers.”

“Uhm… Goodnight Natasha.” Max wringed her hands uncomfortably together.

Natasha chuckled, “Goodnight kid.” And then she added softly, “I know it seems awkward, but don’t worry, you’ll get used to it eventually.”

Maria was certain she wasn’t supposed to have heard that part. It was odd, to hear Natasha instruct Max on how to live life the normal way. But it seemed to put the younger girl at ease, so Maria figured she could live with _odd_.

“Come on Tiny.” Maria steered her to the bedroom.

She changed the girl with military efficiency, redressing the bandages on her arm and side.

“All set.” Maria smiled warmly, “Goodnight Max.”

“Uh… yeah… goodnight…” Max was being awkward, standing next to Maria’s cot, shuffling a little hesitantly.

“Something wrong?”

Max shook her head, a little too quick, “No… of course not.”

The girl still didn’t make a move to get into the bed.

“Max?” Maria asked expectantly.

All she got as response was a sheepish grin.

Maria ran a hand through her hair. The teenager obviously wanted something, something she didn’t want to ask for. But what?

She remembered the night before.

“Max? Do you want me to tuck you in?” Maria asked carefully.

“Pffff, I mean, if you insist. I don’t care.” Max tried to act indifferent, but Maria saw the way her eyes lit up.

“Yeah, I insist.” She played along, “Get in the bed, sweetie.”

Maria almost chuckled at how fast and eager Max laid down onto the cot, staring up expectantly at her. The normally broody teenager was almost bouncing with excitement at the idea of being tucked in.

It was cute. But also, a little sad.

Maria decided not to dwell on it. She leaned over the girl and pulled the blankets over her. “Comfy?”

Max nodded, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Tiny.” Maria whispered, brushing the hair out of the way to kiss her forehead softly, “Sleep tight Max.”

“Goodnight Maria.”

With a grin and a warm feeling that she couldn’t quite explain, Maria left the bedroom.


	17. Chapter 17

Natasha woke up with a start.

Something had risen her from her light sleep.

She perked her ears, wary for any sort of disturbance, but apart from Maria’s soft snoring, she couldn’t hear anything.

Satisfied that nothing seemed amiss, she closed her eyes again and turned on her other side, away from her furnace-like wife.

Natasha had always preferred being cold over being sweaty, especially when she was trying to sleep. She blamed her Russian blood for that one.

She cracked one eye open to check the alarmclock, but instead of the harsh green light, Natasha saw a shadow right next to her bed.

The redhead veered up, shielding Maria instinctively and flicked the light on.

“Uh? Nat? What the hell?” Maria groaned pathetically next to her, but Natasha’s attention was somewhere else.

“Max! Dammit! What are you doing here?!” Natasha was about ready to rip the girl’s head off, her heart thudding loudly in her chest.

Max’s face fell, “I… I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you decided what? To creep up on me?! I could have killed you!”

“Natasha.” Maria’s voice was soft as she put a hand on her shoulder to steady her, “It’s alright honey. Go sit in the living room Tiny, I’ll be right there. I just need to put my pants on.”

Max nodded timidly and left their room without another word.

“Maria, it’s three in the morning.” Natasha sighed, turning to face her wife, “Just send her back to bed.”

Maria slipped out of the covers despite her protests.

“She couldn’t sleep, there’s no point in forcing her.”

“Then let her sit by herself, she’s old enough. Come on babe, don’t leave.”

Maria finally found a pair of sweats to slip into.

“If she wanted to be alone, she wouldn’t come to our room Nat. You’re welcome to join us on the couch if you want to.”

Natasha thought about it, but shook her head, “I think it’s easier to talk to her if she doesn’t feel like she’s being ambushed. I’ll check up on you two in 30 minutes?”

Maria nodded and gave her a kiss before leaving Natasha alone.

She turned and shuffled to find a good spot and switched the lights off.

“Jeez kid, what are we going to do with you?”

 

* * *

 

Max was huddled up on the couch. Maria hadn’t noticed it the evening before, but the teenager was still wearing Natasha’s pajamas. Though with her small body, it looked more like the pajamas were wearing Max.

She looked sullen, sickly. Sad and pale. Nothing like the vibrant teenager she should be.

Nothing like the small, cocky asshole Natasha had so fondly talked about.

“You okay sweetie?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” Max repeated.

“What do you need me to do?” Maria asked softly. The girl needed comfort, so much was obvious, but how does one comfort an emotionally stunted assassin?

Maria knew how she comforted Natasha, but that method was _definitely_ out of the question.

“I don’t know. I’m not… I don’t really… I’m usually alone…”

Maria’s face contorted. Nobody should ever be alone.

“Would you like some warm milk?” It was stupid. So stupid that Maria could almost hit herself when the suggestion left her mouth.

Warm milk? Really?

Max looked as horrified as Maria felt, “Why would I want warm milk?”

“It’s supposed to be comforting?” Maria felt like begging the floor to swallow her whole. There she was, Deputy Director of freaking SHIELD, but when confronted with a moody child, she was completely out of her depth.

“Oh. Okay then?” Max was hesitant to accept, but Maria was glad that she could excuse herself to the kitchen, just to escape the awkwardness.

From the corner of her eye, Maria could see Max shuffling uncomfortably on the couch.

“Do you need another painkiller Max?”

“No? I don’t like painkillers.”

Maria smiled despite herself, “Nobody likes painkillers honey. Are you in pain?”

Max seemed to consider it, mentally checking her own body in a way that had Maria feeling proud, but also very appalled. She shouldn’t know how to do that.

“More uncomfortable than hurt. I should be fine.” Max nodded as if she was talking more to herself than to Maria.

“Here you go sweetie.” Maria handed the girl the mug of milk she had been busying herself with.

Max wrapped her hands around the warm cup, but eyed the mug warily.

“You know, my mother used to give me warm milk when I couldn’t sleep.” Maria shared with a smile.

“You have a mother?” Max pulled a face as soon as the words left her mouth, “I mean…”

“I know what you mean Max.” She reassured her.

A mother. It must seem like a mythical creature for someone like Max. Something she probably had always dreamt about having.

“What is she like?” Max asked curiously between sips.

“She was wonderful.” Maria remembered with a fond smile, “She died when I was young.”

“Oh, that must be sad.” Max noted softly.

“It was.” Maria had felt so lost when the accident had happened, “But, I learned to let go of the sadness. Now I just have the good memories.”

“Like what?”

Maria smiled, “Like, when I can’t sleep, I remember how she used to make me warm milk and sing for me.”

“You still drink this stuff?!” Max’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry, that was rude…”

Maria chuckled, “Hell no, that stuff is vile. You don’t have to finish that if you don’t like it Tiny.”

Max put the mug down on the coffeetable, maybe just a tad too eagerly, and Maria couldn’t help but grin.

They shared a moment of silence, Max squinting at Maria like she was trying to solve the world’s problems by staring at the Deputy Director.

“Maria?”

“Tiny?”

The nickname drew a little smile from the girl.

“Can I ask something?”

Maria nodded, “Anything you want.”

“Why did you… you know… with Natasha?” the question was fumbled and rushed and Maria wasn’t sure she understood.

“What about Nattie and I?”

Max shuffled a little in her seat, “You know… how?”

Maria frowned, “How we got together?”

“Yeah… You don’t have to tell me… I just…”

Maria smiled brightly, “Oh it’s alright Tiny, it’s a long story though.”

Max flashed her a grin and leaned back into the cushions, getting comfortable.

“Alright, well it was quite a few years ago…”

* * *

 

_FLASHBACK_

* * *

 

Maria was bent over an enormous amount of paperwork. No matter how many forms she signed, there always seemed more for her to do.

She needed coffee.

Or a night’s sleep.

God only knew how long it had been since she had last seen her bed.

Well, she did know actually.

3 months.

Almost. One more week and then she would reach the 3 month marker.

Hellicarrier duty.

She loved it. She loved her ship. It was her baby.

But 3 months was long, even for Deputy Director Maria Hill.

Her scribbling was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Enter!”

She quickly signed yet another form before looking up.

Clint Barton shuffled in, looking a little bit… shy?

“Good afternoon Agent Barton. What can I do for you?”

“I uh…” Barton scratched his shaggy head, “I need a favor.”

“No.”

Barton sighed, “You didn’t even listen to me!”

“Anything you could come up with, the answer will always be no.” Maria deadpanned.

“I need a babysitter… for when we get off the carrier.” Barton mumbled, not deterred by Maria’s answer.

“Then hire a babysitter Agent Barton.” Maria knew where this was going, and she could already feel the headache coming.

“You know we can’t just get any babysitter Maria.” Barton looked just about ready to beg, “Please, I haven’t seen Laura in months, we just need a little adult-time. And the kids love you!”

Maria rolled her eyes in annoyance, “Barton, I have been on this ship just as long as you.”

“Please…”

He looked at her with those damned puppy-eyes of his.

Maria shook her head at her own weakness, “One night.”

Barton lunged over her desk and tackled her into a hug, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Get off me Agent Barton.” Maria growled, pushing the man-child away from her.

“Of course! Of course!” Clint scrambled to pull away.

“Thank you so much Maria! I promise, you won’t regret it.” He looked at her like a child who knew a secret. His stupid little smirk gave him away.

“What do you mean?” her eyes narrowed in warning.

Barton took a few steps towards the door, one hand already on the handle.

“Natasha’s coming too!”

He was out the door in a flash, making the stapler she had launched crash loudly against the door.

 

* * *

 

Maria rang the doorbell with unnecessarily clammy hands.

Laura Barton opened the door, dressed up for a night out. She hugged Maria with an enthusiasm that the Deputy Director would never get used to.

“Cliiiiint! Maria is here!” She yelled into the hallway, “Thank you so much Maria! I know you must be tired.”

“It’s alright.” Maria smiled politely, even if she was dead on her feet, “I haven’t seen the kids in forever.”

“Well, Cooper is still doing his homework, and Lila is in the kitchen with Natasha.” The way Laura said Natasha’s name irked Maria. Like it was supposed to mean something.

Like they could be more than just friends.

“Cliiiiiiiiint! I would like to leave _tonight_!” Laura yelled over her shoulder again.

The way neither woman so much as blinked at the loud crash that followed, said enough about the kind of man Clint Barton was.

“I’m here! I’m here!” Clint was still buttoning his shirt, but at least he looked clean. Maria had to give him credit for that one.

Barton grabbed his wife’s hand with a smile and dragged her out the door, “Hi Maria! Bye Maria!”

Laura squeaked indignantly, but Maria heard her giggle at her Barton’s antics.

Maria had always liked Laura. She was patient but firm. She had to be, she lived with three Bartons.

With a smile that she only wore when at the Hawk’s nest, Maria walked into the large house, closing the door behind her.

Maria found Natasha behind the stove, cooking something that would no doubt be delicious, with little Lila Barton practically glued to the redhead’s hip.

“Whyyyyyyyy?”

“I don’t know why.” It didn’t take a spy to figure out that Natasha was getting annoyed with the small child.

“Whyyyyyyyyyy?” Lila demanded again.

Maria saw how Natasha stiffened just the slightest bit. Maria knew that Natasha loved the Barton kids to death, but she had been on the end of one of Lila’s whyyyyyy-interrogations recently, and even the toughest spy would crack under that… persistence.

“Lila, please stop asking me why. I don’t know why Dora wears a pink shirt, okay?”

Lila stared at her idol, her head cocked to the side, “Whyyyyyyyy?”

Natasha’s grip on her spoon tightened and Maria decided to step in.

“Hey guys!” she announced, picking Lila up for a hug, “Let’s try not to kill any children tonight, shall we?”

Natasha glared playfully, “At most I would have thrown a meatball at her. Hi Maria.”

Maria rolled her eyes at her friend, but kissed her cheek in greeting, “Hey Nat.”

Natasha smiled at her. That real smile. The one that looked a little dopey, but was actually really cute on her.

Not that Maria catalogued her smiles. No, not at all. She’s a trained spy, she just noticed. It was all professional, of course.

Maria just noticed that Natasha reserved that particular smile for her. For when they hung out after a long week. It was her ‘I’m happy and I can’t actually believe I’m happy, but I am because I have a great life’-smile.

It took all of Maria’s effort not to lean in and kiss that stupid smirk off her face. Professionally, of course.

Maria barely dodged a chubby hand waving in front of her face, threatening to take her eye out.

“It’s not polite to stare auntie Maria!” Lila admonished.

Natasha smirked as if she could read her mind and Maria felt her cheeks flush.

“Sorry, I just… got lost in thoughts.” Maria fumbled.

“Sit.” Natasha changed the subject, “Dinner’s almost done.

Maria sat down with Lila perched on her lap, “So, how was your week Nat?”

“Don’t you already know Deputy Director?” Natasha teased.

Ever since her promotion, Natasha had taken to pointing out her new rank at every chance she got. Maria took it as a compliment.

“Indulge me.”

Natasha shrugged, “I just worked. Nothing special. Are we still on for movienight tomorrow?”

Movienight. A treasured moment in her friendship with the Black Widow. Once every week, they would come together and trashtalk every movie they could get their hands on.

“Sure, if these midgets don’t wear you out too much.”

Natasha turned from the stove to look her dead in the eye, “Oh, it takes a lot more to wear me out.”

That damned husky voice would be the death of her. Maria’s mouth went dry and her cheeks flushed.

She fumbled to collect herself, “Kids in the room!”

Natasha smirked that stupidly sexy lopsided smirk, all teasing and daring and, _god_ , so inviting.

“I didn’t say anything. I can’t help where your mind wanders Commander.”

Maria didn’t think it was possible, but she blushed even harder.

“Sorry.” Natasha was still smirking, and she didn’t sound sorry at all, “Dinner is almost ready, do you want to go fetch Cooper?”

“Yeah sure.” Maria was thankful to get out of the room.

She loved Natasha more than anything, but the woman just had a way to get under her skin en make her forget how to breath.

The two kids were surprisingly quiet during dinner. Maria chalked it up to Natasha’s amazing cooking skills.

“This is the best spaghetti ever Nat.” Maria complimented, and she meant every word of it.

Natasha smiled widely, “Oh, you’re just saying that. Just wait until you try my spaghetti with pesto and salmon. Life changing.”

“I might just have to keep you around then.” Maria winked teasingly. It was perfectly innocent. Just a bit of fun between two best friends. It wasn’t like she was crushing on said best friend so hard that maybe crush wasn’t even the right word anymore.

Lila gasped excitedly, “Are you going to marry auntie Natasha?!”

“No!” Cooper protested, glaring at his sister, “Auntie Maria isn’t marrying anyone, right auntie?”

Maria and Natasha shared a surprised look.

“Uhm, no? I’m not marrying anyone?” Maria said a little unsure.

Cooper grinned, stabbing another meatball on his fork triumphantly, “Good. Don’t marry.”

Lila giggled, “Cooper is in _loooooooove_ with auntie Maria.”

“Am not!”

“Are so! Are so!” Lila giggled, tormenting her big brother who had turned as red as a tomato.

“Kids!” Natasha warned lowly, but they didn’t listen.

Lila started chanting a song about trees and kissing that Maria hoped to forget soon, and Cooper growled in frustration.

He picked up a handful of spaghetti and threw, hitting Lila straight in the chest.

The little girl was silent immediately, staring down at the stain on her shirt in shock.

“Cooper!” Maria admonished.

The boy hung his head ashamed and then Lila started wailing like a baby.

“Bartons.” Natasha sighed, silent enough so only Maria would hear her.

Natasha picked Lila up to comfort her and clean her up, and Maria occupied herself with wiping Cooper’s hands.

“It’s not nice to throw food.”

“I’m sorry.” The little boy pouted.

Maria smiled gently, “You shouldn’t say sorry to me. Go say sorry to Lila. And to auntie Nat, she worked hard on that food.”

Cooper nodded sadly.

“It’s not true.”

“What isn’t true?” Maria asked.

Cooper blushed a little, “I don’t like you. Girls are stupid.”

Maria couldn’t help but chuckle at the small boy, he was so endearing. She had known about his little crush ever since she took out his dad in a NERF-tournament. He couldn’t stop gushing about it all evening. She thought it was cute.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Maria ruffled his hair with a smile.

“You’re not going to marry auntie Natasha, right?”

Maria bit her lip, “I don’t think so.”

“When I’m a big boy, will you marry me?” He asked hesitantly and Maria’s heart melted.

“When you’re a big boy, and I’m not married, I’ll marry you honey.”

He would have forgotten in a week, she knew that. But the little lie made him grin as wide as ever so Maria didn’t feel guilty at all. The boy was just too cute.

“Here we are, clean shirt and all.” Natasha smiled, walking back in with a teary-eyed Lila on her hip.

Maria nudged Cooper softly, “What do you say now, Coop?”

“I’m sorry Lila. I’m sorry auntie Natasha.” He droned the words diligently.

“It’s alright sweetie.” Natasha smiled at him, “It won’t happen again, right?”

“Right.” Cooper promised eagerly.

 

* * *

 

Maria tucked Lila in while Natasha read to Cooper.

“Yell if you need us, okay little girl?” she stroked her soft hair.

The girl nodded sleepily, “Is auntie Natasha coming for my story?”

“Of course she is.” Maria smiled. The children loved it when their auntie Nat read to them. And Maria loved it too if she was honest. Nobody could do the voices like Natasha.

“I want the princess book.” Lila pointed to the pinkest and frilliest book Maria had ever seen, and not for the first time, the Deputy was happy that she was deemed unfit to read the bedtime stories.

“Cooper wants you to say goodnight to him.” Natasha spoke softly when she walked into Lila’s room.

“Again?” Maria shook her head with a smiled.

“Yep. And I also got a very stern talking to. Apparently I’m not allowed to ever marry you.” Natasha’s eyes twinkled with mirth.

Maria flushed. Why was everyone so freaking convinced they were going to get married?!

“Go to Cooper.” Natasha pushed her out of the room, “I have a princess book to read.”

Cooper was fast asleep by the time Maria left his room, and she decided to go check up on Natasha.

“And then… the princess said _I don’t need a prince to make me happy! I can make my own happiness by being a strong independent woman!_ The end.” Natasha closed the book.

“I don’t think that’s how the story goes.” Maria whispered, seeing that Lila already had her eyes closed.

“Who’s the storyteller here?” Natasha grinned, “My ending is better.”

Maria smiled at the redhead.

“You up for some trivial pursuit before bedtime?” Natasha asked, getting up from the ground.

“Sure, you ready to get your ass kicked?”

“Auntie Nat…” Lila opened her eyes, “My tummy hurts.”

Natasha was back down beside the little girl in an instant, concern gracing her features.

“Oh poor baby.” she stroked her hand over Lila’s aching tummy.

Out of nowhere, Lila turned a particularly nasty shade of green, and not even Natasha’s super spy reflexes could avoid the vomit spewing out of the girl.

Maria squeaked in surprise and Natasha grabbed a hold of Lila and carried her to the bathroom.

“Maria, strip the sheets.” She ordered, passing her with the still green-looking girl.

Maria followed Natasha shortly after, keeping the stained sheets at armslength with a scrunched up face. _Yuck_.

Poor little Lila was bent over the toilet, puking her guts out. Maria tossed the sheets in the washing machine and sat next to Natasha on the cold tile floor.

Natasha made a face in her direction to express the grossness of it all and then slipped out of her shirt and threw it in with the sheets.

She tried not to gape at her friend, she really did. But _fuck_ that minty green bra looked so sexy on Natasha.

Natasha raised an eyebrow with that devilish smirk. Maria’s cheeks heated up for what felt like the thousandth time that night, and she turned her attention back on Lila.

“Can you sit with her while I shower? I feel very gross.”

The Deputy Director nodded, rubbing a hand through Lila’s hair, hoping to sooth the upset child.

She realized too late that the shower was in the bathroom. The bathroom where she was sitting on the floor.

Maria’s head snapped to Natasha to protest, but any thought left her when she saw the redhead with her back already turned to her.

Natasha had unbuttoned her jeans and was sliding them down her smooth, toned legs. Maria felt like she was stuck in the slowmotion scene of a bad porn movie, and she couldn’t care one bit.

Her jaw was on the floor by the time Natasha stepped out of her jeans. Maria had to suppress a groan.

 _Of freaking course_ , Natasha had to be the one babysitter in the world who wore a thong.

Maria’s eyes were completely glued to Natasha’s backside. Her brain had officially left the building. Nothing in the world could be better than this view of Natasha Romanoff.

Absolutely nothing.

From the corner of her eye she could see Natasha’s bra drop to floor.

She really tried to look away. Well, not really. She knew she should look away, but honestly, who in their right mind would?

Maria didn’t realize how creepy she was being until Natasha turned around and Maria found herself staring at the redhead’s crotch.

She was vaguely aware of the choked little noise that left her mouth, but she didn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed anymore.

The last bit of sense she had left screamed at her to look away and she tried.

But instead of looking straight up to Natasha’s face, Maria’s eyes lost track when they caught the smooth, creamy skin of Natasha’s belly.

Her eyes roamed over Natasha’s form as if she was allowed that luxury.

Just as her eyes were about to reach Natasha’s breasts, breasts that featured in some of Maria’s favorite dreams, the redhead cleared her throat.

Shaken from her reverie, Maria’s actions caught up with her, making her duck her head, mortified beyond belief.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and pointed at Lila, “Priorities, Maria?”

As if to emphasize Natasha’s point, Lila hurled violently into the toilet, making both women cringe.

Maria was back at rubbing circles on Lila’s back, trying to avoid another look from Natasha.

She had more than crossed the line with her friend.

“Maria?”

But Maria didn’t look up, embarrassment and guilt making her cheeks flame up. How could she have lost it like that?

“Maria, come on.” Natasha kneeled down beside her, but the Deputy refused to look at her.

“It’s okay.” Natasha muttered softly, “I don’t mind… I like it when you look at me like that…”

Maria couldn’t believe her own ears, but before she could open her mouth, Natasha pressed the softest kiss on her cheek, leaving her completely speechless.

“It’s okay.” She repeated, “But I really need that shower now. I stink.”

Maria nodded dumbly, keeping her eyes firmly on Lila when Natasha slipped away again.

She was painfully aware of Natasha stripping the last bit clothing right next to her, but Maria willed herself not to look.

“You’re too cute Maria.” With the softest giggle, Natasha disappeared in the shower.

Maria let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

_What the hell just happened?_

 

* * *

 

They decided to let Lila sleep in Natasha’s bed for the night, with a bucket next to her, just in case.

“You can go put on pajama’s.” Maria hinted subtly, “I’ll keep an eye on the kid.”

Natasha looked down at her lingerie-clad body, “Something wrong with what I’m wearing Commander?”

Maria flushed at the teasing tone, hating but loving how Natasha could get to her so easily.

“Sorry.” Natasha smiled at her, “But uh, I don’t think I actually have pajama’s here. I usually sleep nude.”

“Of course you do.” Maria muttered, having to close her eyes to force the image from her mind, “I have an extra T-shirt in my bag, you can sleep in that.”

Natasha quirked an eyebrow, “You’re very eager to get me dressed?”

“Naaaaat!” Maria threw her head back with a groan, she didn’t know how much more she could take, “Just get dressed? Please?”

“Okay, okay.” Natasha smiled softly, “You’re bag is in your room?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be right back then.” Natasha ran a hand over Maria’s shoulders when she passed her, making her shudder.

“Nat! Don’t do that.” Maria sighed.

Natasha stopped, “What did I do?”

“You… you…” Maria took a breath, “You tease me! And you touch me!”

“So?” Natasha shrugged, “Honey, do I need to remind of the way you looked at me in the bathroom?”

“You undressed in front of me!” Maria protested, “And you go and look like that! It’s not fair!”

Natasha laughed and laughed until she realized that Maria didn’t see the fun. In fact, her blue eyes were filled with tears.

“Maria…”

“No! You don’t understand!” Maria wiped at her eyes.

Natasha reached out to her, but she stepped away from the touch.

“Don’t touch me!” Maria was crying now, “Just don’t Natasha!”

“Maria what is happening?” Natasha looked lost, “Please, don’t cry. I don’t mind that you stared at me. I really don’t care.”

“Dammit!” Maria raised her voice, still mindful of Lila sleeping a few feet away from them, “You’re beautiful, but fuck you! It’s not that!”

“Then what is it?” Natasha asked desperately, “Because I don’t understand!”

“I… You…” Maria wished the whole world to hell, “I’m so fucking in love with you and you can’t keep teasing me like that because it fucking hurts!”

Natasha froze. Her mouth opened and closed again, she couldn’t find any words.

Maria had never felt so stupid before. She knew, of course she knew, that Natasha wouldn’t want her. But knowing didn’t actually prepare her for seeing it happen.

“I’m just gonna…” she pointed behind her and tried to make a mad dash from the room, but Natasha grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her back.

“Maria…” She took a deep breath, “Look… you know I’m not great with… human stuff. But I try, you know that I do. And no one has ever been there for me like you. And you know I appreciate that.”

“Nat, I know you don’t feel the same way, just let me go.”

“But I do.” Natasha said softly, “I was getting to that. I do feel the same way. I think. I’m not actually sure of how I should feel. I’ve never done this before… but I definitely feel something… and, I don’t know the right words for it, but you’re very beautiful.”

Maria blushed and ducked her head, not quite believing what was happening.

“No, don’t hide.” Natasha chuckled, “You’re beautiful and you make me feel happy. And whenever I’m around you I just want to touch you and I don’t know what to call it but I just… I just really want to kiss you…”

“Well, why aren’t you? Kissing me?” Maria stepped a little closer.

“I don’t know.” Natasha breathed, pulling on her wrist to get her even closer.

Maria’s head dipped down, inching towards her ever so slowly, giving Natasha all the time she needed to change her mind.

But Natasha wrapped her arms around her neck and pulled her down all the way, locking their lips together in a passionate kiss.

Maria’s hands shot to her waist, only vaguely aware of the fact that Natasha still didn’t have clothes on.

Their lips moved together like they had kissed a thousand times. It was warm and soft and it felt like magic and comfort.

Like they were made to kiss each other forever.

* * *

 

_END FLASHBACK_

* * *

 

“And that’s kinda the story.” Maria concluded with a smile.

Max frowned, “What? Just like that?”

“Of course not.” Maria shrugged, “We’ve had hard times, it hasn’t always been happy and great. But that’s a relationship. We worked through it, and I think that we’re doing pretty good.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Max muttered surly.

“What’s wrong? Isn’t that what you wanted to know?”

“Yeah, but… I just… how do you do it? How do you love someone like Natasha?”

Maria smiled a little, “It just happened. I always thought she was beautiful, and then she turned out to be someone I could talk to about everything. She’s always there for me when I need her, I can count on her. And our friendship just grew into love.”

Max sighed a little, leaning back into the pillows.

“You know, everyone finds love eventually. Some people fall in love a hundredth times, some people don’t. Love isn’t one thing, it’s a million little things. And everyone will have it at some point.”

“What? You think I’m lonely or something? Pffff.” Max rolled her eyes, “I don’t care about love.”

“Hmmm.” Maria didn’t answer, “Do you think you can go back to bed now? Or do you want to stay up with me some more?”

“I’ll go to bed I think.” Max stood up and moved to the bedroom, turning around to check if Maria was following her.

“Will you wake me if you need anything?” Maria asked.

Max shrugged, “Natasha kinda threatened to kill me though.”

“She’s just jumpy. Just turn the lights on and wake her up. Sneaking around in this place will only end up in a broken nose, trust me.” Maria winked.

“Okay.” Max stopped in front of her door, “You… uh…”

“Can I come in to tuck you in?” Maria asked, seeing right through the teenager.

“Yes please.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Ah! Welcome back to the land of the living!” Natasha joked when Max finally made it out of her room.

Max glared a little but a little grin graced her features.

“What time is it?” she asked with a little grunt.

Natasha chuckled, “Past 11. That’s what happens when you go on late night trips Maxie.”

Max grunted again, taking a seat across from the redhead, “Where’s Maria?”

“Work.” Natasha said from behind her mug, “Her last day before the break she took. Don’t worry though, I promised I would feed you.”

"Do I get coffee?"

"Of course not." Natasha said with a smile.

"Maria gives me coffee." The teen argued.

"I'm not Maria kid." Natasha said airily with a little grin, "But I see how it is, she's buying your affections with caffeine. Sly woman."

"She's not buying anything." Max said, "I don't have affections for people. There's nothing here to buy." She pointed to her heart and Natasha's face fell a little.

"I hope you don't really believe that Max."

Max looked down at her hands, she couldn't really look at Natasha, and the redhead just wanted to hug her forever.

"Do you want toast? Or cornflakes? You need to eat something before you can take a painkiller."

Max bit her lip, "Cornflakes please. But can I skip painkillers today? I really don't want them."

Natasha thought about it. It was after all Max's body, it should be her decision. But it had only been two days and the wounds would no doubt still hurt.

"Will you take one if it starts to hurt too much?"

"Suuuure."

Natasha shook her head, "I'm serious Max. Your body needs to recover properly. If you can't rest without a painkiller, will you take one?"

Max sighed deeply, "Yeah, I'll take one if it gets too bad. But I can handle it right now."

"I trust you on this." Natasha warned a last time, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard.

"Nat, show me where everything is? I want to make breakfast myself." Max admitted, "I hate being coddled like this."

Natasha kneeled down next to Max's chair, placing a tentative hand on her knee. She realized didn't really know how well the girl coped with touch. Though her distaste for sentiment was pretty obvious from the face she pulled.

"Max, sometimes it's alright to accept a little help. You obviously can't do things alone right now, and Maria and I want to help you." She said, hoping to sound as empathetic as she meant to be, "Just enjoy the break kid."

"I get that, but I'm not an invalid Nat, I can still pour cornflakes with one arm." Max answered with a little smile, "I can still do some stuff. And I feel weird when you do it for me. I appreciate the effort, but it feels weird."

Natasha nodded, "I understand Max, I've been there too. When I first started being around people, I had to adjust too. Just let people do things for you, you'll see, it's pretty fun."

Max rolled her eyes, "But I don't need to adjust Nat. I'm not staying here forever. Just until I can move my arm again. Then I'm gone. I don't need to get used to anything."

"Well, I can only say that I really hope you'll think about that decision some more Max. I don't want you to go away. I think that if you let us, we can find a solution for you."

“Pfff.” Max grunted, “Don’t be so sappy.”

“Sorry.” Natasha pushed a wry grin on her face. Max was getting grumpy and frustrated with her, and as usual, the kid didn’t hide it. Natasha kind of appreciated that, she always knew what was going on in her mind.

“Eat. We don’t need to think about those things yet, okay?” She suggested.

Max grumbled something under her breath about how there was no _we_ , but the redhead didn’t pay her any mind.

Mornings obviously weren’t Max’s thing.

 

* * *

 

“Hey grumpy, you’re not taking a shower today?” Natasha asked when Max was still on the couch in her pajamas at 2.

Max glared, if she was a cartoon the clouds would be rumbling ominously above her head.

“I guess not.” Natasha mumbled, “Are you at least going to let me clean your wounds?”

“If it’s not infected by now, it’ll be fine.” Max grumbled, trying to blend into the couch so Natasha would leave her alone.

Natasha shook her head, “Yeah, that’s not really how it works when you have bulletholes in your body kid. Come on, just let me change the bandages.”

Max sighed but lifted her arm for Natasha to check.

Carefully, Natasha unwrapped the wounds. Aside from looking like she had just been attacked by a zombie, it all looked pretty normal.

Max winced and pulled her arm back when Natasha gently prodded the stitches.

“Max!”

The teen glared, “That hurts!”

“You promised to take a painkiller if it got too bad! You should have said something!”

“What? No one ever told you not to trust assassins?” Max mocked her with a bitter snarl.

Natasha knew she was trying to get under her skin, like she always did when she was trying to get out of a difficult situation.

She also knew she shouldn’t let it get to her, but Natasha wasn’t as patient as she would like to be.

“Goddamn you!” Natasha cursed, “You’re a fucking asshole sometimes Max! Just take the fucking painkillers!”

Max scowled, “Fuck you Natasha.”

Natasha was angry and tired. Dealing with Max was the classic ‘one step forward, two steps back’ problem. Though sometimes it felt like there were no steps forwards, only back.

She stood up, there was no point in staying with Max, two stubborn assassins butting heads would only lead to an all-out war.

“Natasha?” Max sounded scared and surprised, like she hadn’t expected Natasha to just give up.

“Not right now Max.” Natasha answered honestly, heading to the kitchen to take a breath.

Max scrambled to her feet to follow, “Natasha? What are you doing?”

Max sounded scared and small. And Natasha wanted to turn around and hug her, but she didn’t.

“Dammit Natasha!” A pillow hit her square in the back. Even with her right arm, Max still had a great aim.

Natasha turned around slowly with a glare, but it disappeared when she looked at Max.

Her green eyes were filled with unshed tears and her lip was trembling like a little girl getting ready to sob her heart out.

“Oh Max, honey…” Natasha’s anger melted away.

“I’m sorry okay? I know I’m an asshole, but you don’t…” Max sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay, “I don’t… it’s hard, okay?”

“What is so hard sweetie?”

Max rubbed at her eyes, “Fucking everything! You and Maria! I don’t… I don’t understand anything!”

“Max, sweetheart, sit down, please? Talk to me?” Natasha would give anything to take the pain in her eyes away from her.

“No! You can’t…” Max flailed her good arm around, grasping around for something to hold onto.

Natasha took a few steps back to the kid, resting her hand on her shoulder, “Maxie, take a breath. Sweetie, everything will be fine.”

Max opened and shut her mouth a few times, eyes wide and a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks.

“It’s not fine! Nothing is fine!” Max yelled, “I just… and you… You don’t fucking get it!”

“Then explain it to me!”

“You sit there, you and Maria! And you give me a bed and food! And you promise me the fucking world! And I don’t get it!” The girl cried, her body shaking with sobs, “What do you want from me?! Why are you doing this?! What do you want?!”

Natasha was stunned, “Max, we don’t want anything from you. We just want you to feel better, we want you safe.”

“Why?! What are you going to do with me?! Make me kill for you?!” Max pointed an accusing finger as fat tears streamed down her face, “Is that it?! Huh?! You want me as your pawn?! Answer me goddammit!”

“Max!” Natasha felt tears prick in her own eyes, but she willed herself to stay strong for the other girl, “Maxie, honey, no. Maria and I, we’ve been talking about that… and I don’t want you anywhere near SHIELD honey. I don’t want you to live our life. I want you safe and happy.”

Another sob left Max’s mouth, “But why?!”

“I don’t know honey.” Natasha squeezed the shoulder she was holding, “I… I know this is all hard for you. I know what you’re trying to say. And I know that you would make an amazing SHIELD agent. But you’re more than that, to me. And to Maria too. You’re more than a spy or an assassin Maxie.”

“I’m not.” Max sobbed like a child and Natasha let instinct take over when she pulled the girl in for a hug.

Max didn’t fight it, she just buried her face in Natasha’s shoulder and let herself be guided onto the couch.

“You’re so much more than that Maxie, you’re so much more than you know honey.” Natasha whispered softly, “You’re so amazing мышка.”

Max sniffled loudly, “I’m not a mouse.”

Natasha chuckled, kissing the top of Max’s head, “Hush little mouse, we’re having a moment here.”

 

* * *

 

Maria was still cursing traffic when she opened the door to their apartment almost 40 minutes later than planned.

She kicked her shoes off and left her briefcase by the door, happy that she wouldn’t be needing it for the next 2 weeks. She loved SHIELD, but the break was more than welcome.

“Sweetie, I’m home!”

“Shhhh!”

Maria turned to couch, seeing Nat lounging with Max practically on top of her, fast asleep.

“Do I need to get jealous here?” Maria asked with a smirk.

“Definitely.” Natasha deadpanned, stroking her fingers through Max’s hair.

Maria sat down on the coffeetable to watch the sweet moment in front of her.

“Why is the kid still in pajamas Nattie?”

“We had a little talk instead of getting dressed.”

Maria frowned, “Honey, her arm isn’t bandaged! She could get an infection like that! You were supposed to take care of her Nat!”

“Will you shush!” Natasha glared a little, “I was trying to check her arm and then… we had a bit of a breakdown.”

“Oh…” Maria grimaced, “Did you… fix it?”

Natasha looked down at the sleeping mass on her chest, “For now. She’s just… scared I think.”

“Poor baby…” Maria murmured, stroking Max’s back.

“Hmmm.” Her wife agreed, “What time is it? I haven’t started on dinner yet, sorry.”

“It’s a little after 5. Don’t worry about it, I’ll order pizza. How long has she been asleep?”

“Two hours? Slightly more.” Natasha said, “I don’t think she has slept since she’s been here. She doesn’t even stir, she’s completely out of it.”

“I worry about her.” Maria admitted softly, “She’s… I just really worry.”

“She’s cute like this, huh?” Natasha whispered with a little grin, “Little мышка.”

“I’m _not_ cute. And I’m _not_ a mouse.” Max suddenly grumbled, not lifting her head.

“Hey there sleepy head.” Maria chuckled, “Are you comfy on top of my wife?”

“I’m not moving.” The girl mumbled into Natasha’s shoulder.

Natasha kissed the top of her head, “You don’t have to move honey. You can nap some more. Maria is going to get us pizza, right babe?”

“Yup, but I’m going to wrap your arm first. I’m not taking any chances with that.”

Max lifted her arm, “Can I get a painkiller too, please?”


	19. Chapter 19

“Good morning Maxie.” Maria said cheerfully, “Did you rest well?”

“Uhu.” Mac dragged herself over to the table, “Coffee?”

“I got you decaf!” She placed the brew on the table proudly.

Max glared, “You’re evil.”

“Oh honey,” Maria chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair fondly, “You have no idea.”

Max grumped a little, but accepted the wannabe-coffee nevertheless.

“Natasha?”

“Still in bed. You can go wake her up if you want to.” Maria said without looking up from her tablet, “But to be fair, she has a gun under her pillow, one under mine and a few throwing knives in the nightstand.”

“I think I’ll wait.” Max said quickly, “I’m too fond of my limbs, no matter how dysfunctional at the moment.”

“How is your arm anyway?”

“Eh, sore. I’ll take a painkiller after breakfast.”

Maria grinned despite herself, “I’m proud of you Tiny.”

“Stop calling me that. I’m not that short.”

“What are you going to do about it, Tiny?” Maria teased.

Max glared at her again, “Why are you so damn cheerful in the mornings?”

The woman chuckled and shrugged her shoulders, “Maybe I just had a good night sleep? Or maybe I just _really_ didn’t sleep at all.”

Maria grinned widely at Max who pulled a face.

“Are you implying you had sex?!” The girl shrieked, “Ewww! Gross! Yuk! Mariaaaaa!”

“What?” Maria shrugged innocently, “Have you _seen_ my wife? You’re not stupid kid.”

Max waved her hands around, trying to get rid of the image, “But I don’t need to know about it!”

“Sex is a very natural and healthy part of a relationship Max.”

The teen grimaced, “Not when you’re old!”

“I am not old!” Maria protested, “I’m barely 32!”

“You are old enough to be my mom!” Max argued with a sly little grin. She was clearly enjoying teasing Maria about her age.

“Shut up, you little baby.” Maria stuck her tongue out, “I am not old.”

Max smiled, “Sooooorry.”

“You are not sorry at all.” Maria chuckled, “Eat kid. You need a shower after.”

The girl frowned, “Are you saying I stink?”

“Absolutely.” Maria stated with a twinkle in her eye, “And those pajamas need washing.”

Max tugged on the T-shirt she had claimed from Natasha, “No they don’t. They’re fine.”

“You’ll get them back after.” Maria promised, leaning down to kiss the top of Max’s head.

She pulled back to see Max grinning widely, angling her little body so she could lean her head against Maria’s stomach as she ate.

“You comfy little girl?” Maria asked with a chuckle, running her fingers through Max’s ragged mop of hair.

“I’m not that little!” Max protested with a laugh, but she never did move away.

 

* * *

 

Natasha was still waking up a little in the kitchen when Max appeared in front of her.

“I’m playing chess again you.” She placed the board on the table with a bang, sitting down across her.

Natasha groaned internally, “Where did you find that thing? I didn’t know we had a chessboard?”

“It’s not yours?” Max sounded a little disappointed, “I found it in the closet in my room.”

“It’s probably Maria’s. She’s the genius in this house.” Natasha smirked, “You should challenge her. I can’t play chess.”

“But I wanted to play against you.” Max sulked as her shoulders dropped.

“Sorry, I just really can’t play the game. It wouldn’t be fun for you.”

“Fiiiiiiiine.” The girl leaned back in her seat, obviously bummed out.

Natasha smiled, “You can play against Maria? She’ll wipe the floor with you though.”

“Will not!” Max stated confidently, sitting back up ready for the challenge.

“We’ll see about that.”

Natasha quickly lost her smirk and after three hours, she was bored out of her mind. Apparently, Max proved to be quite the opponent for Maria.

It was a quiet stand-off, and every time Natasha tried to lighten the mood with a joke, she was shot two impressive, eerily similar glares.

“Face it Maria, you’re going to have sacrifice your rook.” Max broke the silence with an evil smirk.

Maria glared at the game, and Natasha was oh so pleased that she wasn’t on the receiving end of _that_ look.

“If I sacrifice my rook, you’ll have me mate in three turns.” Maria muttered, fingers hovering over the pieces.

“I’ll have you in five if you don’t sacrifice it.” Max stated, “You’ve lost.”

“Noooo.” Maria didn’t look up from the board, staring as if she could move the pieces just by pure will.

After another long pause, Maria hesitantly moved her knight.

Max grinned widely, capturing the piece with her queen, “Check.”

Natasha was impressed, not even Tony had ever beaten Maria in chess, but it looked like Max was about to win the long _looooooong_ game.

Maria shook her head with a little smile, “You lost sight of your knight, kid.”

The girl frowned at the board and then slapped her forehead hard, “Goddammit!”

Her wife did some weird move that Natasha didn’t think was possible.

“Check. Mate.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha was in the shower, leaving Maria alone on the couch reading a book.

“Natasha always leans against you.” Max said. She was crosslegged on the ground staring up at Maria.

“Huh?” Maria put her book down, “When?”

“On the couch. Natasha leans against you.” Max repeated. The way she weighed her words told Maria that Max was about to do something… well… Max-y.

“I guess she does…”

“So aren’t you cold now? Now that she’s not here?” Max cocked her head curiously, “Isn’t your side cold without her?”

“Uh… not really, no?”

“Oh, okay.” Max hung her head, decidedly not looking at Maria.

She had no idea what the teenager wanted from her, but Maria didn’t want to lose a chance to connect with her.

“I mean, I do notice that she isn’t here…” Maria added, “So, yeah, you could call it a kind of cold…”

“I could keep you warm!” She shot up eagerly, “I mean, you know, because you need it… not because I… just… for you.”

Maria smiled, “Yeah, I need it. Come up here Tiny.”

She patted the space next to her and Max crawled up, folding herself into Maria’s side.

“Yeah, that’s much better.” Maria played along a little, kissing the top of her head, “Thank you Tiny.”

Max shuffled impossibly closer, “You’re welcome.”

Maria wrapped her arm around the girl and picked her book back up.

“Do you want me to read to you?”

Max nodded, “Yes please.”

By the time Natasha got out of the shower, Max had molded herself completely around Maria.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “You two comfortable?”

“Very.” Maria grinned, “Is she still awake?”

“Yeah.” Max grunted from her spot on Maria’s shoulder, “I’m doing Maria a favor.”

“Sure.” Natasha smirked, making Max grump.

“You told me to be friendly and nice. This is me being social with humans.”

“Oh honey,” Maria pulled her off her shoulder a little, “This is not normal social behavior. It’s fine when you do it with me and Nat, but you can’t do this with other humans.”

Natasha smiled softly, “She knows.”

“You know?” Maria asked doubtfully.

Max huffed, “I know.”

“Then, uh, why?” Maria asked carefully. She didn’t want to push the girl, but Maria felt confused. Sure, the girl sought comfort with her, that much was obvious, but Maria just didn’t really think that Max would even know what comfort was.

“You’re soft.” Natasha answered for the girl with a shrug, as if it was obvious, and she cuddled into Maria’s other side to make her point.

Max nodded against her, “You are soft.”

“I’m soft?” Maria frowned, “Are you two saying I’m fat?!”

Natasha laughed loudly, “Of course not baby! You’re just… soft. Warm and comfy. You’re a good cuddlebuddy.”

“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.” Max agreed very seriously, “I like your shoulder more than Natasha’s.”

“Hey!”


	20. Chapter 20

Max was getting cabin fever. She was pacing from room to room, buzzing with energy, desperate for something to do.

Natasha barely even looked up from the dishes when Max started opening and going through every closet and drawer.

“What are you doing kid?” She asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. Max looked a lot better than she did just a few days ago. Maria would be happy to hear that Max was moving around when she got back from the supermarket.

“Spying!” Max moved from the living room to their bathroom.

“You do realize that a big part of spying is subtlety right?” Natasha joked.

She heard Max laugh now coming from their bedroom.

“Spy whatever you want.” She yelled after the bored teenager, “Just don’t open the bottomdrawer of Maria’s nightstand!”

“Why no… EEEEEEEEW!” Max screeched and Natasha heard a drawer slammed shut.

“What did I just tell you?” She tried to look stern, but Max ran into the living room looking like she had just seen the devil himself. Natasha couldn’t help but laugh at the poor girl.

“You didn’t say it would scar me for life!” Max sounded absolutely horrified, “That’s just wrong Mama!”

Natasha dropped her mug.

Max looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“I… I didn’t…”

Natasha shook her head. She didn’t want to know what the teenager had to say.

“That’s not funny Max. If I hear you pull that joke with Maria, I’ll shoot you in the foot. Got it?”

Max nodded, her eyes trained on the floor, “Yeah… I’m sorry.

“Good. Now go play one of Maria’s videogames or something.”

Max scurried off, leaving Natasha alone to clean up the broken mug. But the redhead had to wipe at her eyes first.

* * *

Maria kicked the door shut with her foot because her hands were full of bags. Buying groceries for three people was a lot more difficult than buying for two.

“I’m home!” She announced happily.

“Nat’s in the shower.” Max sat huddled up on the couch looking a little sullen.

“Oh, I know that look.” Maria dumped her bags on the table and sat down next to her, “What did you do?”

“I can’t tell you. Nat said she would shoot me.”

Maria frowned. It wasn’t like Natasha to threaten Max. In the time the teenager had been with them, Natasha had tried to stay as patient as possible with her. A rare feat for the usually short-tempered assassin.

Looking at Max’s face, Maria knew she was going to have to fix this.

“Tell me what happened?” She coaxed again, “Nat won’t shoot you if I asked to know.”

Max sighed, “I called her Mama.”

Maria closed her eyes at the flash of hurt that went through her heart.

“I’ve told you before Max, no mom-jokes in this house.”

Max grumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

“I said: It wasn’t a joke.” Max looked as though the admittance actually pained her, “It just… popped out. It happens sometimes, in my head. I can’t help it.”

“Oh…” Maria didn’t know what she felt, but her heart definitely skipped a beat, “Do you… uh… do you want to talk about that?”

Max glared, “Of course not! The thought of it makes Natasha want to shoot me! It was just an accident!”

“Hey sweetheart, calm down!” Maria tried to sooth her, “Nat won’t shoot you. She probably thought you were just joking.”

“Well, she shouldn’t shoot me for a joke!”

“Max, come here sweetie,” Max opened her arms for the tiny assassin, earning herself a glare, “ _Max_.”

The teen grunted, but buried herself in Maria’s side without a second thought.

“Natasha and I, we were together for three years,” Maria took a deep breath, “when I asked her to marry me. Here, on this couch. We got married a few weeks later, we didn’t want a lot of fuss around it.”

She moved her hand up to stroke through Max’s hair.

“A month later, Natasha storms in like a mad woman and tells me she’s ready for kids.” Maria paused a little, the story was a lot harder to tell than she’d thought, “I’ve always wanted kids, but Nattie was a little scared. She didn’t think she’d be a good mother.”

“Bullshit.” Max spoke softly, “She’s the best.”

“That’s what I told her too.” Maria smiled down at the girl, “So, we started trying for a baby. But… it didn’t happen. Neither of us can have a baby.”

Maria pulled away to look Max in the eye, “Sweetie, that… disappointment, nearly cost us our marriage. We both blamed ourselves, thinking the other blamed us too. I had one foot out the door, I couldn’t even look at her without feeling guilty.” Maria’s heart was in her throat, “When you call us mom or mama… it kinda hurts…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Maria squeezed her a bit tighter.

“Can’t you guys adopt?”

Maria shook her head, “Not with our jobs. And even if we lied about that, we still work too much to be considered stable parents.”

“That’s stupid.” Max muttered.

Maria agreed.

“Can you tell Nat I’m sorry?”

“You should tell her that yourself Tiny.”

Max scoffed, “She won’t even look at me.”

“She’s just a little hurt, honestly. She’ll understand.”

“Understand what?” Natasha walked into the room, wearing nothing but a shirt that was clearly Maria’s and panties.

She sauntered over to the couch with wet hair and toned, naked legs. For a second, Maria completely forgot that Max was sitting next to her.

“Hey baby.” Natasha grinned, bending down for a kiss that Maria happily accepted.

“Okay stop! Stop that!” Max protested, scrambling away from Maria when Natasha deepened the kiss,” Oh my god! No! I saw TONGUE! EEEEEEW!”

Their laughter finally broke the kiss.

“Come on Nattie, go put some pants on.” Maria chuckled.

Natasha couldn’t help but smirk, “That’s the first time you’ve told me to put pants _on_. Usually you want them _off_.”

“Ugh!” Max groaned in disgust, hiding her face in a pillow.

Maria laughed, “Nat! Go! Before we traumatize the kid!”

“Oh, it’s too late for that!” Natasha turned to leave, “Tell Maria what you were up to today мышка!”

Laughing as Max launched a pillow at her, Natasha ran into the bathroom.

Maria couldn’t help but laugh as she saw just how hard Max was blushing.

“Oh Tiny, what happened sweetie?”

Max turned even more red, “Nothing!”

“You know Nat will tell me, right?” Maria teased a little.

“She searched through your nightstand!” Natasha yelled from the bedroom.

“Oh.” Maria shrugged, before it dawned on her, “OH!”

“Please don’t make me talk about it.” Max begged, beyond embarrassed.

“No, nooo.” Maria quickly agreed, “But uhm… if you have questions…”

“I’ll look them up online!” Max assured her.

“Oh thank god.”

* * *

“Tony called.”

Natasha groaned automatically, “What does he need?”

“He doesn’t need anything honey.” Maria chuckled, “He invited us for take-out and movies with the others.”

The _others_. The other superheroes. Natasha still wasn’t used to that title. She didn’t feel all that super. And the hero-part was completely out of the question.

“We can’t. We have Max.”

Maria shrugged, “She can come along. It would do her good.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “Absolutely not. No way.”

“But babe! Think about it!” The way Maria spoke told Natasha that she had already thought it through. And had made a decision for the redhead too.

“She’s cooped up in this place! It’s not healthy, she needs fresh air! Some fun!”

“I am not putting her in a room with the Avengers!” Natasha put her foot down, “She’s still a fugitive! What if something happens? She’s safer here.”

“The guys aren’t SHIELD Nattie. They won’t know who she is.”

“They are not stupid Maria. How are you going to explain a random teenager to them?”

“My niece?” Maria shrugged, “It doesn’t matter babe, they know better than to ask questions. Weirder stuff has happened before. Come on! It’ll do us all good!”

Natasha sighed, knowing she had already lost. She couldn’t deny those blue eyes anything.

“Ask Max if she was to go.”

“Yes!” Maria fist-pumped the air, rushing off to find the girl.

* * *

“You’re kidding right?” Max said as soon as Maria told her, “Right?”

“No Tiny, it’ll be fun.” Maria promised but Max shook her head adamantly.

“Nu-uh. No way Maria!” The girl refused, “I don’t know what your definition of fun is, but getting smacked by a godly hammer isn’t it for me. Earth’s mightiest heroes Maria! No way!”

Maria rolled her eyes, “You know Natasha is one them, right? I really don’t see the problem.”

“ _One_ of them! Exactly! _One!_ Not all of them at the same time!” Max had a flare for dramatics as she waved her good arm around wildly, “I’m an assassin, remember? I’m not on their side!”

“The Avengers don’t have a side! They protect what needs protecting, regardless of politics.”

Max shot a pleading look at Natasha, but the redhead held her hands up. She wasn’t getting into it with her wife again. When Maria had an idea, it was usually best to just go along with it. The girl would learn that soon enough.

Max huffed, “But I don’t want to gooooooo!”

“There will be pizza.” Maria tried with a grin. She knew she had Natasha wrapped around her little finger, but Max was quickly getting swooped up in her charm as well.

“You’re not going to give up, are you?” Max realized with a sigh.

Both assassins just hoped that Maria’s smile would be worth it.

/LINEBREAK/

“Ah! The Hills!” Tony opened the door for them, “And… a kid? Did I miss something?”

“SHIELD-business.” Maria answered simply.

“Say no more.” Tony said but he frowned a little, obviously imagining what it was that Max had done to be in the care of the Deputy Director and SHIELD’s best asset.

“I’m Max.” The girl said. It sounded robotic and forced even though she had been practicing during the entire ride. Natasha put a hand on her shoulder, hoping to relax the girl.

“Hi Max,” He smiled warmly, “I’m Tony. Let’s get you all inside, huh? I have pizza.”

He talked to her like he was talking to a toddler, but at least he tried. Natasha mentally made a note to be nicer to him next time they met up.

He lead them to his living room and Natasha was pleased to see that Clint wasn’t there. He definitely would have asked questions.

Max hung back with Natasha as Maria went around to greet all the guys individually.

“I’m not a kissing person.” Natasha whispered to the girl.

Max forced a little grin but Natasha could tell how uncomfortable she was. She felt insanely bad for her, but there was nothing she could do. Saying no to Maria was virtually impossible.

Maria plopped down on a free spot on the couch and patted the empty seat next to her, causing the two assassins to rush over to her.

Max strategically sat down in between Natasha and Maria, and even though the redhead preferred sitting next to her wife, she wasn’t going to mention it. If Max felt better using the two of them as human shields then so be it.

Natasha found that saying no to Max was almost as hard as saying no to her wife. But she refused to think _that_ through.

She could sense the others staring at them, questioning silently.

“Who’s the girl?” Steve broke the silence.

Maria put a hand protectively over Max’s knee, “This is Max, she’s staying around for a bit.”

Max nodded but stared at the floor. Natasha knew the feeling, being certain that if she looked them in the eye, they would see her. Really see her, for everything she was and everything she had done.

It took her while to finally be able to look at them. The others. The real superheroes. She was just in it for redemption, they fought for what they believed in. Sometimes, Natasha still felt like a fraud around her friends.

“Hi kid.” Bruce was the first to speak to her, voice gentle as ever. He really was a good man. When he wasn’t stressed out.

“I’m Max.” Apparently, Max hadn’t really rehearsed anything other than her name.

Natasha bumped her shoulder gently, coaxing her to be a little more open with them, but it wouldn’t work.

“Nervous?” Bruce guessed, “Don’t worry about it, it’s just pizza and movies.”

“With a bunch of superheroes. Yeah, totally not a big deal. I do this every day.” Max’s sarcasm came through, causing the guys to chuckle.

Steve shrugged, “We’re on break right now. Plus, Maria can take us all if it came down to it.”

Max eyed Maria doubtfully.

“Hey! I can take them!” Maria protested with a smile.

“Sure you can Maria…”

“Fuck you Tiny! You know what? When your arm is better, we are so sparring!” Maria laughed, “I’m going to kick your smartass all over that mat.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Her cocky attitude pulled another chuckle from the rest and Natasha saw her visibly relax, if only just a little.

Max stayed shy though, only really talking with Maria or Natasha.

The evening turned into night and Natasha noticed how Max started shuffling. A little closer to Maria, a little away from Maria. Almost rocking back and forward indecisively.

It was like Maria had a sixth sense when it came to Max. Her wife wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulder, pulling her into a snuggle, without ever looking up from the TV.

Max struggled against her a little and Natasha saw how Maria leaned over to the girl and whispered something in her ear.

Max nodded and let her body melt against Maria’s, nuzzling against Maria’s shoulder until she found a good spot to lay her head.

Natasha wished she knew what Maria told her to get the girl to relax like that. Maria kissed the top of Max’s head affectionately and then send a Natasha a little wink.

It didn’t take long at all before Max was asleep against Maria, and Natasha had to admit that the sight was pretty great.

“I think we should get going.” She said quietly, hoping she wouldn’t wake the girl up.

Maria nodded, “I’ll carry her to the car. Can you take the keys? They’re in my backpocket.”

Together they got Max off the couch, hushing and soothing her when she started to stir. Natasha doubted the girl was even still asleep by the time Maria had her in her arms, but if she was honest, she would play dead too if it meant being close to her wife.

“So… is this a thing now?” Tony asked her while Maria put Max in the back of their SUV, “You, Maria, the mini-Maria.”

“She’s not a mini-Maria.” Natasha rolled her eyes, “And it’s not a thing. She can’t stay forever. It’s temporary.”

They both looked on as Maria kissed Max’s head as she buckled her in, and then once more just because she could.

“Does your wife know that? That it’s temporary?” Natasha heard the doubt in his voice and she kinda wanted to punch him.

But she also kinda wanted to punch that weird feeling in her gut.

* * *

Maria carried her inside carefully. They hadn’t spoken since saying their goodbyes at Tony’s place. Natasha didn’t seem to have any words that would describe how she felt anyway.

Confused would probably be the topcandidate. Because her heart jumped a little every time she saw Maria with Max, and she just couldn’t understand it.

She should have arrested Max months ago, the first time they met. She should have gone in guns blazing.

And Natasha just couldn’t grasp why Max made her throw away her instincts like that. Or maybe she didn’t. And that was what bothered Natasha the most. She didn’t shrug off instinct or gut feelings. Not at all. Because every time she saw those green eyes and that raggedy mop of hair, everything inside her screamed at her to hold the girl. Cradle her forever.

And the redhead just couldn’t deal with it. Or didn’t want to deal with it. Because Max, with them, like this… that was a whole can of worms Natasha just didn’t want to open.

“Pull her blanket back Nat?” Maria whispered with the sleeping girl cradled to her chest. So beautiful. But she couldn’t help but feel wrong.

Natasha did what she was asked and left the room so Maria could tuck Max in with a kiss and a soft smile.

She couldn’t breathe.

Natasha grabbed her phone and texted the first person she could think off.

_Please have a mission for me? I need a work-out._

The response was instant.

_I have something, but you’re more than overqualified. It’ll probably take up your whole night though._

“Maria, honey, I need to go for a bit.” Natasha was already shrugging her jacket back on.

“Oh?”

Natasha hated herself for lying to her wife, “Yeah, Coulson needs me on a mission. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Okay, be careful.” Maria kissed her goodbye as always.

“I love you Maria.”

“I love you too Nattie.” Goodbyes were important. They never knew when it could be the last one.

Before the door closed behind her, Natasha heard one last thing.

“We’ll be waiting for you.”

She broke down in her car.

* * *

“How good of a field agent were you?” Max’s voice suddenly pierced the silence.

Maria sat up in their bed and flicked the lights on.

“I was very good. Still am.” She answered proudly, “Why?”

“I’m a lefty.” Max motioned to her hurt arm, “I could fight if I had to, but I’d rather not.”

She should have known that Max would notice that Natasha had left for the night.

“Sweetie, are you scared?” Maria asked gently, “No one is going to attack you here.”

“I know.” The girl wouldn’t meet her eyes, “I’m just… taking precautions.”

Maria smiled sympathetically, “Nat will be back soon. Don’t worry so much.”

“I’m not worried.” The protest was a little weak and more than a lot a lie.

“Then what are you doing in our room at 3 AM? And I’ve heard you check all the windows and the door. Twice.”

Max grinned sheepishly, “Okay, maybe I’m a little worried.”

“Come on Tiny, get in the bed.” Maria patted the empty spot next to her with a smile, “You’ll be the first to know when Nattie gets home.”

“I shouldn’t.” Max wringed her hands together nervously, “That’s Natasha’s spot.”

Maria grinned mischievously, “Actually, that’s my spot. I always sleep on Nat’s side when she’s away.”

“She won’t like it…”

“She literally will not care at all sweetheart.” Maria reassured the small assassin, “Come on, if you wait too long Nat will be home before you get any sleep.”

Max scurried over and slid under the covers.

Maria checked if she was settled in and turned the lights off again.

“M’ria?” Max asked in a small voice, “How do you sleep when Natasha is gone?”

Maria smiled to herself, “I don’t. How else would I have known you were up?”

“Oh…” Max stayed quiet, “I don’t like it.”

“Me neither. But she has important stuff to do, to keep us all safe.”

“I know that… I just… don’t like it.”

Maria nodded her agreement even though the girl couldn’t see her in the dark.

“Tiny?”

“M’ria?”

“Do you need a hug sweetheart?”

Max shuffled closer and laid her head on Maria’s shoulder, curling into her.

“Only because you need one though.” She muttered, trying to stay cool.

“Of course.” Maria agreed as seriously as she could, “I really need a hug.”

She wrapped her arms more comfortably around the young girl, stroking her hair softly.

“I like this.” Max hummed.

“Well, I’m always here for cuddles.” Maria offered in a whisper, “Now close your eyes a bit Tiny. Nattie will be here soon. Goodnight honey.”

Max nodded and sleepily kissed Maria’s cheek, “Night Mommy.”

Maria was glad the room was dark so Max couldn’t see the absolute shock on her face.

* * *

She woke back up with a very different pair of lips pressed against her forehead.

“Nattie?” Maria blinked blearily. She tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, but noticed the weight on her arm. Max.

“It seems like I’ve been replaced.” Natasha seemed amused, but Maria noticed something else too. A little crack in her wife’s voice. Something was off with her.

“She couldn’t sleep without you here. I promised you’d wake her up when you got back.”

“But she’s sleeping now.” Natasha whispered reluctantly, “I don’t want to wake her.”

“Just for a second love, she can go back to sleep after. She really wanted it.”

Natasha relented, carefully leaning over Maria to jostle Max gently, “Little one? Мышка?”

Max’s eyes stayed firmly shut, but she grumbled something unintelligible, snuggling deeper into Maria.

Maria chuckled, pressing a kiss to Max’s head, “Tiny, wake up honey. Nattie’s home.”

Max lifted her head barely an inch, still asleep.

“Mommy?”

Natasha threw Maria a look she couldn’t quite decipher.

“No honey…” She whispered, “Natasha.”

“Mama?”

Maria didn’t know what to do. With her eyes she tried to beg Natasha for a way to fix this, but Natasha was only looking at the girl in her arms.

“Yeah sweetie,” Natasha was a little choked up, but Max was too sleepy to notice, “I’m home.”

“Good.” Max grunted, tucking her face back into Maria’s neck and going right back to sleep.”

“I don’t know…” Maria hesitated. It didn’t feel like she knew anything.

“It’s fine.” Natasha send her a smile, but it was forced, “Thank god we bought a big bed.”

She changed the subject and slid in behind Max, reaching her arm over the girl to touch Maria.

“Yeah… big bed…” Maria frowned, feeling a little disappointed.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Natasha promised, “I’m tired, the kid is asleep, you should be asleep. Now is not the time. But we’ll talk. Tomorrow.”

Maria smiled a little at how well her wife knew her, “I love you Nattie.”

“Yeah… I love you too Maria.”


	21. Chapter 21

Maria woke up to an empty bed. The sheets were cold and the air just felt wrong.

Something in the pit of her stomach swirled ominously, it didn’t feel like it was going to be a good day.

She dragged herself out of bed and into the kitchen. Natasha sat there, at their table, staring blankly at her mug of coffee.

“Good morning.” Maria said quietly. She didn’t know why she was quiet, it just felt like a quiet sort of morning.

“Hey.”

“You’re up early.” Maria tried again, hoping to get a little more response from her wife.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Maria frowned. Natasha really acted off.

“Where’s Max?”

“I put her back in the guestroom.” Natasha didn’t look up from her cup and Maria couldn’t quite tell if it was out of embarrassment or just because she was sleepy. She hated when Natasha didn’t show her emotions because the redhead was so good at hiding them that Maria just had no idea what was going on in her head.

“Why?”

Natasha took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for some heavy task, “Maria, we need to talk.”

Maria felt her face drop, “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay, then you’re about to do something stupid. What is it?”

“I’m being serious Maria!” Natasha huffed annoyed.

“Sorry babe, tell me.”

“I’m taking Max to SHIELD. Today.”

Maria felt like Natasha pulled the rug from under her feet. Of all the things that could have been wrong, this was the worst.

“It’s the right thing to do and you know it!” Natasha explained, her voice shooting up like it always did when she panicked.

“Are you serious?” Maria had trouble finding her voice, “You can’t…”

“I have to.” Natasha nodded firmly, “She can’t stay here.”

“Nat, is this because of last night? Because we can talk to her! She was asleep, she didn’t realize…”

“Maria stop it! I can come up with a thousand reasons of why she can’t stay and they have nothing to do with last night!” Natasha raised her voice, “I have to take her in!”

“You can’t do that! She trusts us! You can’t just rip away the only stability she has ever had! She has nobody else but us!”

“That is exactly why I need to do this!” Natasha argued, “You care too much!”

“As if you don’t!” Maria yelled back.

“That is irrelevant! We have a duty to fulfill!”

“You never fucking cared about duty!” She willed herself not to cry, “Why don’t you just fucking tell me what your real problem is huh?!”

“That child is the problem! You know it!”

“You should know better than anyone what that child has gone through Natasha! You should be protecting her!”

“Oh so that’s what this is about?! She reminds you of me?” Natasha got in her face, “A pity project? Tell me Maria, is that why you married me?! Because you pity me?! Are you going to take in every pathetic little street rat…”

She never got to finish her sentence because Maria’s hand shot out, slapping her across the face. The smack almost echoed through the kitchen.

Natasha was stunned into silence, her cheek reddening where she had been hit.

“You need to go for a long walk.” Maria tried to sound calm, but she was seething with rage, “A _very_ long walk. And think deeply about what you are trying to achieve here and why. Because I can damn tell you that your little scene here has nothing to do with our girl and everything with your fear of love. And I’ll be damned if you try to harm one hair on Max’s body, because I _will_ shoot you Natasha.”

Natasha nodded mutely before storming off, letting the frontdoor fall shut with a sickening loud bang.

Maria let herself fall down on the chair with a deep breath. Never in her life had she ever raised a hand to someone like that. Her palm stung where it had made contact with her wife’s face.

She was just starting to think that things couldn’t get any worse when she noticed Max on the other side of the room.

“Oh shit…” Maria was up, taking long strides to get to the child.

“Don’t touch me…” Max took a step away from her, “Don’t touch me.”

It took an effort to keep her hands by her side, the girl looked so crestfallen.

“Maxie, sweetie, I need you to listen, okay? Natasha didn’t mean anything she said, okay? _Anything._ ” Maria’s voice wavered, “She’s scared. Just like you get scared. She’s not taking you anywhere.”

Max shook her head, “I would pack my bag, but honestly, I never unpacked it… just make sure you get it to me. I like wearing my own clothes, no matter what hellhole they send me to.”

“You’re not going anywhere Max. Nobody is taking you away from us. I promise.”

“Us?” Max looked doubtful, “That’s a pretty big promise to make considering you just kicked the other half of your ‘us’ out. After suckerpunching her in the face.”

“I didn’t punch her…” Maria defended weakly, but it didn’t matter. She hit her wife. She hit her so hard. “ _Fuck.”_

“You should go talk to her…”

Maria grimaced, “I don’t know where she’s going.”

“The park across the Triskelion. She has a bench by the pond. She goes there to… I don’t know… to look sad.” Max shrugged, “She went there every time she was mad when I followed her around.”

“I can’t leave you here…”

“Yeah you can. I’ve been on my own before. I’m fine.” Max looked anything but fine.

But Natasha was out there and she needed to apologize to her more than anything.

“Okay… uhm… take my phone.” Maria thrust the device in Max’s hands, “So you can call Nat if something happens. And please be careful with your arm.”

“I’ll be careful. Now go.” Max pushed her toward the door. Maria felt wrong leaving her behind but leaving Natasha alone wasn’t an option either.

“I’ll fix this for us, okay?” Maria didn’t know who she was reassuring the most when she kissed the top of Max’s head, “I’ll fix this. Nobody is taking you anywhere.”

“It’s fine Maria! Go!” Max chuckled. It was a fake one, but Maria would take it right now.

The door slammed shut behind her and she was racing down the stairs to go find her wife.

Alone in the apartment, Max stared at the closed door with tears pricking in her eyes.

“Bye mommy.”

 

* * *

 

She found Natasha exactly where Max said she would be. But for the first time in her life, Maria was scared of her wife. She was afraid of what Natasha would say to her. If Natasha had slapped her like she did, Maria didn’t know what she would do…

Max was right though, the pond was obviously Natasha’s sad place. Her redhead was huddled on the bench, arms wrapped around her knees, completely folded in on herself. It broke her heart. But Maria know she had just done much worse to Natasha’s heart.

They were lovers for fucks sake. Wives even. She had promised to protect Natasha from everything that could ever harm her. Maria never thought she would be the thing that harmed her.

“I can feel you staring.” Natasha spoke up with her back still to her. Maria could hear from her voice that her wife had been crying.

She couldn’t find a word to respond to her, so she pushed her fears aside and sat down next to Natasha.

Maria stared at the water, she couldn’t look at the woman next to her.

“You… I’m sorry. For what I said.” Natasha’s voice was husky and low from the tears, “I know you didn’t marry me because you feel sorry for me…”

“Don’t be sorry. I was so wrong. I… I hit you…” Maria’s voice cracked, heavy with shame and sadness.

“You did.”

Maria buried her face in her hands, “I don’t know what came over me… I was angry… I never wanted to hurt you Natasha…”

“I don’t really believe that.” Natasha’s words hurt, but she deserved it, “I was rude as hell, I questioned your entire life Maria. Our life. You wanted to hurt me. Hell, I wanted to hurt me.”

Maria finally looked up to look at her wife. Her green eyes were bloodshot, and she could already see the beginnings of what would be a spectacular bruise forming on her cheek. The guilt was eating at Maria.

“I still shouldn’t have done that. No matter what you said.”

Natasha shrugged, “We both were out of line. But yeah. You shouldn’t have done that.”

“The kid heard it all. She saw it too.” Maria sighed heavily, “She’s completely shaken up. But I am too.”

“Me too.” Natasha said lowly, “I… we should go home and talk to her.”

Maria bit her lip, “Shouldn’t we talk first? I… Things aren’t right between us…”

“They’re not.”

“Can we… Can _I_ still fix this?” Maria was scared to ask, and maybe she didn’t want to know the answer, but she still needed it.

Natasha stayed quiet for a beat too long and it made Maria’s stomach churn.

“We’re… we’re going through stuff…” Natasha weighed her words carefully, “With Max and us. We’ve been together so long, I know you’re not… you’re not like this. I pushed too hard, I knew I was hurting you as soon as I said it… but I don’t think I can forget it right away…”

Maria didn’t say anything.

“Can you understand that?” Natasha asked, “Can you get that? That I know what happened, and I get why it happened, but I can’t just forget about it. Even though I know it won’t happen again?”

“I… I understand.” Maria nodded even though she felt more than a little sick from Natasha’s admission, “But… I just… why would you say that? That you and Max are pity projects… did I make you feel like that?”

“No Maria, of course not.” Natasha’s hand slipped over knee and the feeling warmth and love made Maria tear up, “I just… lashed out. I’m… God, I’m still not good at this sharing…”

“You can just tell me Natasha.” Maria tried to sound soothing but she still felt more devastated than anything else.

“Max makes me nervous… and seeing you with her… it’s what we wanted.” She whispered, “It’s everything we ever wanted and it scares me so much.”

“It scares me too.” Maria confessed, “It’s so scary Natasha, but it… it just feels right for me? I don’t know how to explain it.”

“It feel right for me too… I just don’t know how to handle the scary thing.” Natasha shook her head, “Especially after yesterday… I freaked out.”

“Me too. She called me mommy and kissed me, before she fell asleep. I thought I was going to scream.”

Natasha squeezed her knee a little tighter, “I dropped my favorite mug. When she said it to me. I’m a freaking Avenger. And I just let it smash to pieces.”

Maria chuckled dryly, “She’s probably wondering where we are…”

“We should go home.”

Natasha stood up, her knees cracking from sitting still too long.

“Nat, wait… I… I love you. You know that right?” She needed to say it as much as she needed Natasha to hear it, even if she didn’t feel like she had the right to say it anymore.

“I know Maria. I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

“Max? Honey, we’re back.” Maria announced when they opened the door.

Natasha’s hand was still softly clutching her own and Maria didn’t think she would ever be able to let her go. Never in her life had she treasured that hand more. The fear of possibly never being allowed to hold it again still made her knees weak.

The apartment stayed quiet and Natasha frowned sadly, “She’s probably in her room hiding from me… I’ll go talk to her.”

With a heavy heart, Maria let go of Natasha’s hand and watched as her wife crossed the small distance to Max’s room.

“Max?” Natasha rapped the door with her knuckles, “Can I come in?”

Max didn’t answer.

“Max, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be.” Natasha said to the closed door, “I… I freaked out. I shouldn’t have threatened you like that. I’m not taking you in, okay? You can stay here. With us. We can figure this out together Max. I know we can.”

Maria came up to her when Max still didn’t respond, rubbing her hand over Natasha’s tense shoulders.

“She hates me, doesn’t she?”

“Of course not.” Maria soothed, and knocked on the door herself, “Tiny? Come on honey, let us in? We want to talk to you.”

When Max still didn’t give any answer, Maria became a little more nervous.

“Tiny?” she knocked a little harder, “Open the door Max, this isn’t funny.”

Natasha’s deep frown didn’t help to calm her down in the slightest.

“Max, open the door or we’re kicking it in.” Natasha’s voice wavered a little with the threat, “And I swear we won’t replace it if we break it. You’ll have to live with no door.”

Maria rolled her eyes at her wife, “Babe, have you tried the handle?”

Natasha’s hand shot out to the doorhandle, her shoulders sagging when the door clicked open.

“Max, we’re coming in.” Natasha warned, “You better not be naked.”

The joke died in her throat when the door opened.

 

* * *

 

Max had watched as Maria practically flew out of the apartment to chase Natasha.

Despite their flaws, she had never seen a love quite like theirs. Not that she was an expert. Maria would do anything for Natasha.

And that was precisely Max’s problem.

_I’m taking Max to SHIELD. Today._

It had only been a matter of time before one of them would come to that conclusion, Max knew that.

She had just hoped that arm would have healed a bit more when that time came around. But alas, no such luck.

When Maria slapped Natasha, Max knew it was over. The brunette had some serious groveling to do, and despite her earlier promise to Max, the girl knew that Maria would do anything for Natasha’s forgiveness.

And what did Natasha want most? Exactly. Max out of their lives.

There was no way she was going to rot away at some SHIELD black site. She’d rather die.

Her bag slung over her good shoulder, Max spared one last glance at the apartment that could have been so much to her. Not that she’d ever admit it.

Natasha and Maria were just a game to her. She played them for food and shelter. No more. And now it was time to move on.

Two subways and a long walk later, Max found herself in front of building she thought she’d never see again.

She walked into the lobby, purposely tripping the alarm she had build herself. The loud blaring didn’t faze her and neither did the horde of paramilitary men coming up to her, their guns steadily trained on her head.

Max grimaced at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“What a welcoming party. I take it you guys missed me?”

There was a bang and a sharp pain in the back of her head and then, her world turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dumdumdumduuuuuuuuuuuuuum :-D


	22. Chapter 22

“She’s not here…” Natasha almost whispered to her. Maria was on the couch, she couldn’t stand up, her knees felt too weak. She just didn’t understand…

One minute Max was there and then the next… she wasn’t.

“Maybe…” Maria had a hard time trying to find her voice, “Maybe she went for a walk…”

Natasha’s warm hand stroking her back told her enough. Max wasn’t just out. She knew it too, of course she did. But that didn’t mean she had to accept it.

Maria barely heard her wife trying to comfort her. The entire world felt like it was collapsing around her. It was only yesterday that she had everything. A marriage, a kid. She was happy. And she thought they were too. She was so wrapped up in her own happiness, that she didn’t notice it slipping away.

And what did she have now? A wife who didn’t trust her anymore. A child that ran to get away from her. She should couldn’t wrap her head around what had happened.

Her head hurt and her heart hurt. There was just no understanding it. Even if it was so obvious what was going on. She just couldn’t… she just couldn’t.

She felt numb. She had thought she would cry, collapse, maybe just go completely crazy. But she didn’t. She just didn’t feel anything. It was like she was just caught up in a really bad dream.

“Maria… I think we need to call someone…” Natasha said carefully, “We need to find her before…”

“Call someone?” Maria repeated, frustration seeping into her voice, “Who are you going to call Natasha? SHIELD?”

“Well… yeah…” Natasha leaned away from her, _away_ from her. Like she was scared. Like Maria would hurt her. Again.

And suddenly all Maria felt was anger. Rage.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She accused, “Get SHIELD in, find her, take her in.”

“Maria, no…”

“This just works out perfectly for you, doesn’t it?!” Maria could see the tears gathering in Natasha’s eyes but she was just too angry, “You have everything you wanted, don’t you? Don’t you?!”

Natasha wiped at her own face, “Maria you know…”

“What do I know?! Huh?! What do I know?!” Maria yelled loudly, “She’s gone Natasha! It’s exactly what you wanted! She’s gone!”

Her wife was breaking down in front of her, but Maria just couldn’t stop. She needed to feel something, even if it was hate.

“Are you happy now?! Are you?!”

“No! Of course not! Maria…”

Maria pushed Natasha’s begging hands away from her.

“This is your fault Natasha! You drove her away! This is all your fault.”

 

* * *

 

“Lookie look what the cat dragged in.”

She would recognize that voice anywhere. Max willed her eyes to open, trying to shake her head to clear the fuzz.

She could feel the cold tile floor of the facility under her fingertips.

The man circling above her kicked at her legs.

Max immediately noticed that it hurt more than it should. _Steel-toed boots._ She needed to get up. Now.

She tried to move but her body wouldn’t cooperate. Max closed her eyes again, trying to focus on her breathing.

_What hurt?_ Her arm, obviously. Her side, duh. Her brain seemed to thump in her head, so they knocked her out? That still wasn’t a good enough reason for her body to refuse. She’d had worse injuries just by training.

“A little traitor.” Another kick followed his sneer.

“I’m not a traitor.” Max responded automatically. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth. They drugged her.

She went through the mental list of what they could have given her. A muscle relaxant obviously. Max knew of a few that where widely available. They had to have given her the lowest dosage, to make sure she didn’t stop breathing. If she were lucky, they used succinylcholine, and the effect should wear off within 10 minutes.

But Max didn’t believe in luck. If they used atracurium, she’d be out for at least 6 hours, additional recovery period about 15 hours. _Well, fuck._

“Aren’t you?” He got in her face and Max desperately wanted to push him away from her, but her body just didn’t move. “Then where have you been? Huh?!”

“I got shot. I was at a safehouse, recovering.”

“We checked the safehouses!” Another kick, this time he hit her ribs, tearing open the stitches in her side, “You were not there!”

Max was struggling to keep her eyes open, but she knew she couldn’t black out, not while he was in the room.

“I have my own.”

“Get it up!” He ordered two men, her guards she guessed. They shot forward, big hands wrapping painfully around her arms and hoisting her up in the air. Max tried to get her feet under her, but she couldn’t, she just hung there, her entire body limp. She couldn’t even lift her head to look at him.

He ‘fixed’ that by grabbing her hair and lifting her head. It stung, but the pain was nothing compared to the hand that was digging into the wounds on her arm.

“You do not _have_ anything!” He spat in her face, “You have nothing! You know why?”

He punched her in the face and Max could hear her nose crack from the force, “You know why?! Because you are nothing! Nothing!”

He let go of her hair, her head falling down immediately. Max could see the small droplets of blood dripping from her nose onto the tiles. It was going to suck to pop that back in place with only one hand.

“Leave it.” He barked at the men holding her up, and they let go of her arms immediately. She saw the floor rush towards her but there was nothing she could do to break her fall.

She collided with the hard tile face first, a searing pain shooting through her nose.

“Turn it over. I don’t want it to choke.”

They manhandled her into a position that allowed her to breathe a little better. Max did everything she could not to black out until she heard the heavy boots march away from her.

She let out a deep breath and let the darkness encompass her.

 

* * *

 

“Get the fuck out of my way!” Maria stomped by her, seething with rage but still on the verge of tears.

Natasha could only watch as her wife slammed the door behind her so hard the photos on the wall rattled precariously.

Maria hadn’t told her where she was going, but Natasha had a pretty good guess. And she knew she had to intervene somehow.

_“Yeah?”_

“Barton, are you at the Triskelion?”

_“Uhu, why?”_ His voice was almost chipper. It’s what she liked most about him, that he could be such a goof under all circumstances, but right now she didn’t need her friend, she needed her partner.

“I need you to head down to the lobby and wait there. Maria is going to arrive in 20 minutes,” Natasha thought about how her wife had ran out, “At most. You need to keep her in the lobby Barton.”

_“What? Maria?”_ Barton hesitated, _“The Commander?”_

“I’ll explain later. Keep her in the lobby. Every minute counts, you need to buy me as much time as possible.”

_“Time for what?”_

Natasha had already hung up only to dial a different number.

_“This is Agent Coulson?”_

“I’ve been compromised.” She had to force the harsh words out her mouth. It was one thing to act stupid, it was a whole other thing to admit it.

_“Agent Romanoff? You aren’t on a mission?”_ Natasha could just imagine his confused face.

“I am. And I’m compromised.”

She heard Coulson typing away on his computer, _“Protocol BA-Five Zero has started.”_

Natasha swallowed heavily, “Coulson, we need to start protocol BA-Three Nine too.”

_“What?!”_ His gasp was almost comically high.

“You heard me. BA-Three Nine.” She confirmed, “We need Fury to get down here now.”

_“Director Fury is in Europe.”_ Coulson seemed a little panicky, _“He, uh, he can be in New York in 3 hours.”_

“Coulson, we need him here in 30 minutes.”

_“Well I can’t make him teleport, now can I?!”_ Agent Coulson huffed in frustration.

Natasha clenched her phone, “Phil, in the absence of the Director, you have the highest rank. You need to start the protocol.”

_“Commander Hill has the highest rank!”_

“But she isn’t going to start it herself, now is she?! Coulson start the damned protocol!” Natasha yelled at him but she was more frustrated with herself. What if she was making a mistake? Maria was going to kill her.

_“Initiating protocol BA-Three Nine.”_ Coulson confirmed to her, _“You better be fucking right Natasha.”_

Yeah. She hoped so too.

 

* * *

 

“Commander Hill!” Barton jogged up to her, “Nice weather isn’t it?”

She threw him a glare, Maria wasn’t in the mood for smalltalk. And she was sure that if she spoke now, her voice would break.

Barton was incessant, “Wait, wait, Commander! What’s the rush? Why don’t we all just slow down.”

She stopped her pace to turn around to him. Something was up. His sheepish grin gave him away.

Thank god he was an asset and not a spy. He had to have the world’s worst poker face.

“See, I uh…” He scratched his head, “I think we should all learn to appreciate? The world. Uhm… and nature. We don’t have enough nature…”

Maria could so do without his stupid… everything.

“And uh… polar bears! Yeah! What about those, huh?” His smile was as fake as she’d ever seen.

“Fuck off Barton.” She managed to say, shouldering past him with tears still pricking behind her eyes. Her insult didn’t hold any bite, she just sounded as tired as she felt.

“Commander!” Barton yelled after her, trying to catch her attention but Maria didn’t turn around, “Did you watch Dancemoms last night?!”

She left the archer in the lobby despite his pathetic attempts to talk to her. If she wasn’t so emotionally drained, Maria would have been suspicious, she would have questioned his motives, maybe even punched him. But as it was, she barely had the energy to push the correct button in the elevator.

“Coulson, I need you in my office.” The words were forced out by habit alone, her mind was just not in it anymore.

She didn’t see how he blanched, how he stayed two steps behind her as she marched to her office.

She didn’t know what she was going to say, or do. But she just needed to do something. She needed to feel useful.

Maria put her hand on the scanner to open her office.

_Access denied_

She put her hand back on the screen, pushing a little into it.

_Access denied_

“What the fuck is wrong with this thing?!” It was like the dam broke. Her fist slammed into the scanner harshly, smashing the expensive technology to bits, “Why can’t nothing fucking work?!”

She was screaming, not even noticing how everyone’s attention turned to her.

“Maria, I need you to calm down.” Coulson spoke softly, “We can go sit in the conference room, okay?”

“Not okay! I need to get into my fucking office!” Maria banged the door, kicking at the heavy metal. She knew it wouldn’t do any good, and her feet and hands were starting to hurt, but she just needed to feel something. Even if it was just pain.

“Maria, you won’t achieve anything like…”

“Shut up Phill!”

“Commander! Stand down!” Nick Fury doomed up. Maria didn’t know where she had it, the Director was supposed to be in some obscure European country, not here in the middle of New York while she was having a breakdown.

“Agent Coulson, get back to your post.” Nick ordered, marching over to them. Coulson was only too happy to make himself scarce.

“Commander Hill.” Fury’s voice was different, still deep but not as menacing, “My office, please.”

Maria numbly followed him, a thousand thoughts racing through her head but at the same time her mind was eerily quiet. She just couldn’t get a hold on any of those thoughts.

Fury’s office doors slid open and Maria immediately noticed her wife standing next to his desk.

“Maria, I’m so sorry, I didn’t have a choice.” Natasha looked like she had been crying, her voice was tense and her eyes red.

“Sorry for what?”

“Commander Hill, you’ve been compromised.” Fury stated, “Protocol BA-Three Nine has been initiated.”

Maria gaped, she couldn’t say a single word. This was not happening.

“Maria, you have to understand…” Natasha’s voice cut through the fog in her head, “I had to do it.”

“Hill?” Fury was staring now, one eyebrow raised, “Are you understanding me?”

Maria couldn’t do anything but nod.

“The protocol temporarily strips you of your rank, you know that?” Maria nodded again, and Fury continued, “I need a full briefing of what has happened over the past weeks. Everything.”

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Natasha stepped up to her, but Maria held her hand up, stopping her.

In what more ways could the redhead ruin her life?

“Maria…” Natasha’s eyes filled with tears again, “I had to… You’re not… You’re not in the right mindset to make decisions right now.”

“So you’re taking the decisions for me?” Maria asked softly, her voice cracking, “Because you haven’t been compromised?!”

“Agent Romanoff has already informed us of her status.” Fury spoke for her wife, “She’s stripped of her authorization too.”

Natasha wiped at her eyes, “Maria… I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Haven’t you done enough?!” She was screaming again, “You have to destroy everything?!”

“I’m not…” “You are! You are ruining everything! My life! Our life! Max’s life! You are responsible for all of this!”

Tears were rolling down her cheeks too, she didn’t want to imagine what Fury was thinking about them now, the two of them bawling in his office.

“Commander…”

“If anything happens to Max, I will never forgive you Natasha! Never!”

“Maria!” Fury grabbed her shoulders, pulling her away from her wife. Maria hadn’t noticed how she had gotten into Natasha’s face.

Natasha looked stricken, fat tears streaming down her face. Maria was reminded of her how she looked after she hit her. She thought this might be worse though.

Because this time she didn’t want to apologize at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know! I'm so sorry! In my defense, I just read The Boy In The Striped Pajamas and I had to see the movie too, so I was emotionally destroyed and I thought I'd share the feeling. I would like to promise slightly more happy times, but not quite yet :-P


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter briefly and very shortly hints at sexual abuse. Just a little heads up

She woke up to two sets of hands pulling her off the ground roughly. She struggled against her hold, only the slightest bit pleased when she found that her body finally moved.

She was still a little sluggish though, her mind blurry from pain and fatigue. She didn’t know how long she was out, they were too smart to keep clocks on the wall, and the facility had no windows either. Fucking stupid bastards.

They dragged her through the corridors she knew all too well. It felt humiliating to be handled like a ragdoll, but that was always their intention.

She was tossed to the ground when they finally reached his room. An office he called it. She thought of it more as a torture chamber.

Her body was still too slow to responds and she connected harshly with the cold tiles.

“Get up.” She couldn’t help but scramble to her feet, swaying precariously. When it came to his orders, she still felt like the terrified little girl she was all these years ago.

Behind her, she could hear the familiar click of a loaded gun and she didn’t need to turn around to know that it was trained on her head. _Fuckers._

She told Natasha once that she was sure they’d never kill her, but the heavy silence in the room suddenly made her doubt that theory.

“Where were you?”

It was obvious what he wanted to know, but she couldn’t help but be difficult.

“In my room. Or cell. I don’t know what you call it these days.” She was a smartass at heart and it had gotten her in trouble too many times already, but that didn’t mean she was about to stop.

He slapped the smirk off her face, but that pain was bearable.

“Who are these women?”

A photo was waved in front of her. She didn’t realize what it was straight away, but the flash of red hair made her stomach lurch.

“Stop waving it around and maybe I can tell you.”

Another slap, but at least the photo stopped moving.

She ran a hand through her matted hair, trying to stall for time.

She had allowed herself to become sentimental, the greatest weakness of all. It was a photo taken by Tony, Maria had said, right before she and Nat had started dating.

It showed the two of them laughing widely, Natasha having just jumped on Maria’s back. It was happy, uninhibited. Maria hung it on the fridge, it was her favorite picture of them.

So naturally, Max had taken it with her.

“SHIELD-agents.” Max said honestly, “They’re the agents investigating our work. I reported it. I shadowed them.”

If he could tell she was lying, he didn’t show it.

“My little monster.” His scowl turned into a smile, “My beautiful creation. What have they done to you?”

Before she could ask what he meant, he reached out and grabbed her nose, popping it back into place.

Tears sprung to her eyes and the blood started flowing freely again.

The hurt and suffering from the last few hours made it difficult to swallow the tears away. She just wanted to curl into a ball cry forever.

She just wanted Mia and Nattie.

He was touching her, her face, her arms. Prodding his fingers in every sore spot, every bruise, every cut. Examining his property.

“Touch me again and I’ll bite your hand off.” She spat the words, but it only made him chuckle and pinch her cheeks.

“You’re a tenacious little beastie, aren’t you?” He was laughing in her face and what she wouldn’t give to kill him. Her own personal demon.

“Get it cleaned up.” He ordered the men behind her and she was already bracing herself for their touch, “It’s disgusting.”

 

* * *

 

Nick Fury was a fucking prick where Maria was concerned.

She had informed him that shit was hitting the fan the day after Max had shown up at her door. She didn’t give the Director specifics, she didn’t want a STRIKE team barging her door in, but he knew _something_.

But apparently, knowing something wasn’t enough for him when there were child assassins involved.

He put his anger and disappointment in her and Natasha aside though. There were other matters to attend. Max had suddenly become SHIELD’s number 1 priority.

Fury quickly set up a small taskforce of analysts to find the child, but to Maria’s relief, it wasn’t to detain her. No, Fury told the newly assigned agents that it was a rescue operation. Their mission was to save Max and bring the people holding her down.

He cast her a knowing glance when he gave those orders and Maria almost cried.

Fury overruled the protocols to, the ones that were supposed to strip both her and Natasha’s security clearances. But the taskforce got the specific orders not to pass on information to either of them.

Maria thought she could live with that though. She just wanted her little girl back.

“Nat brought you coffee.” Clint whispered behind her, holding out the steaming cup.

“I don’t want it.” Maria kept her eyes locked on the taskforce working behind the glass. She wanted so badly to get in there, but Fury’s orders were clear.

“Maria…” He sighed softly, putting a warm hand on her shoulder, “You shouldn’t stand here like this. Go outside for a bit. It will do you good.”

He looked at her like he knew what she was going through, like he understood. How could he when she herself didn’t understand what she was feeling?

“I want to stay here.” Maria said stubbornly.

“It won’t bring her back Maria.”

The words made her eyes sting with unshed tears.

“You can’t do anything for the kid right now, we just need to let these guys do their jobs.” Clint squeezed her shoulder, “They’re the best, Fury picked them himself. They’ll get her back.”

“I just…” She swallowed heavily, “I just need to feel like I’m doing something.”

“I think that the only thing you can do now,” Clint said carefully, “is try to make sure she’ll still have a home when she comes back. You need to talk to Tasha.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. She feels so bad! If you just talk to her, you two can work this out.”

Maria turned to him with a glare, “I’m not talking to her.”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s nothing left to say.”

 

* * *

 

Max had always hated the bathroom. It was cold and too white. The brightness made her eyes sting.

She could hear the door lock behind her and she knew there were always two guards outside wherever she was. She didn’t mind, the lock kept her safe too.

She dragged her sore body to the little mirror above the sink. Her own reflection made her startle. He was right, she was disgusting.

Her swollen nose was varying shades of blue and purple. The bruise went all the way under her eyes, making her look like she had been hit by a bulldozer. Multiple times.

There was blood smeared all over her face, and it had even matted in her hair. If she was honest, she looked dead.

Carefully, she peeled her T-shirt off her body, it stuck to her wounds and Max was reminded of how Maria had helped her. She pulled a little harder, tearing the beginnings of the scabs off. Maria was much better at it.

Her torso now bare, Max looked herself over. All her stitches had ripped, leaving her with large, gaping wounds in her arm and that nasty tear in her side. She was bruised all over, no doubt from the kicking. And if she looked closely at the bruises on her arms, she could make out the fingers of the guard who had squeezed her too tight.

_Asshole._

They had taken her shoes away from her, scared she could find a way to incapacitate someone with them, and Max was a little relieved. At least she didn’t have to bend down so far to take them off.

She hated how her fingers trembled when she undid her jeans. Her side stung as she shoved them down her short legs with her eyes clenched shut. She knew she had to see eventually, but that never made it easier.

Max forced her eyes to open with a heavy swallow. She had to watch. Her shins were covered in bruises, and so were her knees. Another swallow. Her eyes trailed up.

Max could have cried then.

One large bruise, clearly shaped like a boot on the outside of her thigh. And that was it. None of those disgusting bruises on the inside of her thighs. The ones that seemed to mock her for weeks after. They weren’t there. She could never be sure. But this time… Not this time.

For some reason, he had been merciful with her. Max knew she would find out that reason soon enough.

Even though she wanted to, she couldn’t stay in the locked bathroom forever. Gingerly, she stepped into the shower cabin, letting the cold water rinse her tired body.

The cold was almost painful on her raw flesh, but she couldn’t do anything about it. They didn’t believe in giving her the comfort of a hot shower. They didn’t believe in much.

Every movement pulled on a wound, the soap stung and every brush of the washcloth pushed on some bruise. It was a form of torture in itself, Max thought, as she watched the blood and dirt disappear down the drain.

She was alone though, and safe, and she let her eyes close for just a minute. Her thoughts brought her back to the apartment. The bathroom that was nice and warm and it smelled like apples because Natasha loved those stupid candles so much.

Max had never even owned a candle.

Natasha. The redheaded Russian assassin who was supposed to be just like her, but they lived completely different lives.

Natasha had helped her wash. She had stood behind Max in the shower, because people like them didn’t think much of nudity anymore. Their bodies just the means to an end. Most of the time, a very brutal end.

She had soaped up her hair, rinsed it, gave her that ridiculous plastic to cover her stitches so they wouldn’t get wet. Now she didn’t even have stitches anymore.

 _Mama_ she called her, deep in her heart. But Natasha didn’t want her. Max had been compromised, played by the redhead. Just another victim of the Black Widow.

She had been so stupid to believe that they had something going on there. That there was a bond. She had _cried_ in front of the agent. She thought she just might cry again now.

Max had even decided that night, that night Natasha had to leave, she had decided she would tell them everything in the morning. About that CIA project that had caused so much trouble, about the facility that kept her, who she thought she might be working for, just… everything. She was going to beg them to let her stay.

She cursed herself for dreaming like a small child.

 

* * *

 

She was sulking in a hidden corner of the building, she knew she was. But it didn’t really matter because no one in their right mind would call her out on it.

She sniffled a little, glad that her red hair covered her face, because she was sure her eyes were completely bloodshot from crying so much.

Maria hated her. She could see it in her wife’s stiff posture, the way she couldn’t even look at her. Natasha had to bite back a sob at the thought.

Max hated her too, no doubt.

She had fucked up so badly. Her own fears caught up with her and she ruined everything just so she wouldn’t have to admit she was afraid.

Max could be dead for all they knew. Natasha wouldn’t tell Maria, of course, but _they_ , whoever they were, would figure out Max was at their place and if they did… there would be nothing left of the little girl.

Max had so confidently claimed that they would never kill her, that she was too unique, but Natasha hadn’t believed a word of it. No, they were going to kill her if they found out.

Finding Max was a race against the clock. A race that might already be lost.

Natasha had hacked into the security feed hours ago, so she could watch Fury’s taskforce work. She might not have ears inside, but having eyes would have to do. But instead of watching the agents scramble for information, her eyes were fixed on the figure standing just outside the room, watching through the glass.

Arms crossed as if she was angry, Maria did not budge from her position. And Natasha saw that her wife didn’t even acknowledge the coffee she had send her.

Natasha huddled in a little closer on herself.

Nothing could ever get worse than this.

 

* * *

 

She had just stitched herself back up, and while it wasn’t as precise or as neat as when Maria had done it, Max took a bit of pride in her work.

“I have an assignment.” Her door opened and he unceremoniously tossed a file to her.

“My arm.” She motioned to the wounds, “I can’t hold a garrote right now. I don’t have the strength in this arm.”

He scowled at her, “Then take a knife. It’s done tomorrow, understood?”

Max sighed heavily, “Yes sir.”


	24. Chapter 24

Natasha was biting her own fingernails, a bad habit she didn’t know she had, when she saw Agent Tobin step out of the conference room that Fury’s taskforce had taken over.

She worked with him before, with Tobin. He was one of SHIELD’s finest agents. But knowing that still didn’t quiet the worry gnawing away at her insides.

She watched him hand over a file to Maria on the security feed.

Natasha frowned, Tobin was under orders not to talk to either of them, to protect the investigation. Fury thought they were too unstable to be involved. He was scared they’d be rash. Natasha had to admit that he was completely right.

She’d do anything to get Max back.

For the first time since the taskforce was set up, Maria left her position by their window.

Something had to be very wrong.

And then suddenly, her wife who had barely acknowledged her existence in two and a half day, the woman who couldn’t even look at her, her _lover_ , was in front of her with a look that could only be described as disgust. Agent Tobin was beside her, looking like he was about to piss himself.

“Romanoff, follow me.” Maria instructed coldly.

Hearing Maria use her last name like that felt like a slap in Natasha’s face. And that was probably how it was meant too.

“Agent Tobin found this on a corpse.” Maria tossed the file on her desk with unconcealed anger, “We can’t make a match in the handwriting, you need to confirm.”

Natasha’s hands almost trembled as she opened the folder. Inside, she saw a piece of paper. It was like her worst fears had come true.

_I’m back,_ it stated in scratchy handwriting.

“The… the letters match…” Natasha had trouble finding her voice, “It’s hers… it’s just different because… with her arm… she can’t write with her left, I think.”

“The victim was a SHIELD agent. Agent Martin.” Tobin said, “He was suspended for allegedly selling SHIELD tech to rebels in Rwanda. His throat was slit, with a knife, not a garrote. That’s why I thought it might be coincidence.”

“It’s not.” Natasha shook her head sadly, “It’s her MO exactly. She can’t tighten a garrote with her arm right now. But Tobin… she doesn’t decide, she’s just following her orders, she didn’t do that…”

Tobin nodded, “I know, this is still a rescue mission. Nobody is blaming the child. I have to go inform the rest of the team now. Thanks for your cooperation.”

The doors slid shut behind him, leaving the room in its awkward silence.

“Maria…” Natasha tried to say something but Maria fixed her with a dirty glare.

“I didn’t ask for you to speak agent.” Maria bit.

Natasha hung her head in defeat. Maria had every right to be angry with her. But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Before you go,” Maria stopped her from leaving, “I suggest you find another place to stay Romanoff. You’re not sleeping on my couch tonight.”

In reality, neither of them had been inside their apartment since they arrived at the Triskelion. But it broke Natasha’s heart either way.

“Our couch.” Natasha corrected softly.

“It could be the Pope’s couch for all I care!” Maria seemed to lose her cool, “I don’t want to be around you!”

Natasha’s shoulders sagged. Maria never used to yell at her. Even at their most broken, after the worst missions, she never yelled. But now that’s all she seemed to do.

And it was all Natasha’s fault.

She had driven Max away. She had broken Maria. And the blood of this murder was on her hands.

Natasha swallowed heavily, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t bring her back!” Maria yelled, “Look at this!” She shoved the picture of the dead man under her nose, “Look! This is what they are making her do! And we have no way to stop it! Because you drove her off!”

Tears filled Natasha’s eyes. She couldn’t say anything to defend herself. Maria was right.

Their Max was out there somewhere, being forced by god knows who to kill people. The thought made Natasha sick to her stomach.

“I don’t know what to do.” Natasha whispered honestly.

Maria rubbed at her eyes, something she did to hide her tears, Natasha knew.

“Tiny.”

It came out as a broken sob and Natasha instinctively wrapped her arms around her devastated wife.

Maria tried to fight the hug, but her sadness overpowered her anger and she just needed her Natasha.

The Deputy Director broke down in the middle of her office, sobbing loudly in Natasha’s embrace.

Natasha held onto Maria just as tight, her heart breaking along with her wife’s.

She had regretted everything she had said about Max the second she said it. But it was too late.

Every kiss to Maria’s head was countered with a slap. Every “I’m sorry” met a “How could you?”

And even thought she was allowed to hold her right now, Natasha didn’t think Maria would ever forgive her.

She didn’t think she would ever forgive herself.

 

* * *

 

Max scrubbed and scrubbed until her hands were raw, but it still seemed like the blood was everywhere. She felt disgusting.

This guy, her target, he wasn’t different from her other victims. And she had taken mercy on him.

She had jammed the knife in his throat just so, he was dead before he hit the ground. She knew that. But that little gasp. That moment when he realized he was being murdered.

That’s why she chose a garrote. At least they couldn’t make any noise that way.

She hadn’t known anything about him. She didn’t want to ask. But as always, she wondered.

Did he have a wife? Or someone who was waiting for him with a warm meal? Maybe he had children? Maybe she took someone’s daddy away?

Max clung to the sink, her head low. She couldn’t look at herself. He was right, she was a monster.

She had left a note again. Max wasn’t really sure why she had done that. It wasn’t like she wanted all those victims to be tied to her like that. It wasn’t like she took pride in what she did. She just… wanted to own up to it maybe?

Or maybe that was a lie. Maybe it was selfish. She wanted Maria and Natasha to know she did it. They were looking for her, Max knew. They wanted her in a prison, they would do anything to find her.

She wanted them to know she was alive.

That she was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You brutes for thinking I would kill Maria or Nat! You guys are even meaner than I am :-P Next update very soon (as in later tonight, I'm just re-reading it a few more times)


	25. Chapter 25

“I need you to find me someone.”

“I think that’s more your expertise Agent.” Tony turned to look at her, “Holy shit! What happened to your face?”

Natasha automatically reached for the bruise. It looked a lot worse than it was, her pale skin made the purple pop out.

“None of your business.” She said quickly, “Stark, I need special tech and I can’t use SHIELD’s.”

“Is this still about that hacking from a while ago?” Tony asked curiously, “I thought you’d have fixed that by now.”

Natasha glared at him to make him shut up, “If I give you a picture, can you find me that person?”

Tony shook his head, “Only SHIELD has that kind of tech and the permission to remotely access all cameras in the world.”

“Stark, I don’t care what we have to do, I need to find this girl.”

Tony scratched his stubble, “Hack SHIELD with me. We can worm into the tech and start the search from there.”

Natasha nodded briskly, grabbing a chair to sit down next to her friend.

They worked in silence, the only sound was the rhythmic tapping of keys and slight curses whenever something went wrong. But together, they managed to hack one of the world’s most secure servers.

Natasha couldn’t believe Max had done all that by herself.

“Aaaaaaand, we’re in!” Tony announced happily, “I’ll need that picture now.”

Natasha pulled out her phone and forwarded him the only picture she had.

Tony frowned a little when he looked at it.

“Problem?” Natasha dared him to say something, but Tony wisely shook his head.

“Nope, just a lot of question. But they can wait. We’re looking for Mini-Maria then?”

Natasha nodded, staring at the picture with the slightest smile on her face.

The picture was taken when Max had found Maria’s old chessboard and had challenged the Commander to a game. With her dark hair and straight posture, Max did look a little like the shorter version of her wife.

Natasha never was the picture-taking type, but the utter concentration on Max’s face was just too cute. She couldn’t resist.

“Search is running.” Tony’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, “This can take a while. You should go home. I’ll let JARVIS call when I find something.”

Natasha cast another look at the picture, “I’ll stay.”

 

* * *

 

Their search led Natasha to a boring looking office at the edge of the city. Seriously, why did all bad things have to happen at the edge of the city?

Hidden in the backseat of a borrowed car, Natasha carefully kept track of every person that went in or out.

So far, she was at a big fat zero.

No one was moving around this place. Everything seemed shiny and well maintained. Nothing screamed abandoned building, it was just… dead. Very suspicious.

Natasha lifted the thermal camera, a parting gift from Stark. She spotted two men in the lobby, probably guards of some kind.

But the floors above them were empty. No thermal image whatsoever. There was no living organism in the building. But Max had to be there!

The camera across the street had captured Max entering and exiting the building.

There was only one explanation. This building had a hidden facility somewhere. A place where they kept Max.

And Natasha would tear this building apart to get to her.

 

* * *

 

_“Barton?”_

“Have you seen Nat?” Maria asked before he could even finish.

_“No, isn’t she hiding in that stupid corner to watch you?”_

“She’s not, Barton I can’t find her anywhere.”

_“Take a breath, she’s probably in the cafeteria. Or out for some fresh air.”_ She could practically hear Barton shrug, _“With all that blaming that you did, anyone would need to get out, don’t you think?”_

Maria squeezed her eye shut at Barton’s sneer. She totally deserved that one.

“Barton, it’s none of your business.”

_“Isn’t it? How long have I been working with Nat now? 8 years? Something like that.”_ Clint’s voice picked up, _“You know how often I’ve seen her cry? Five times! Once when I took her in, once when she realized she had feelings for you, again when you got married and TWICE over the past days. Because you made her cry! That does make it my business Maria!”_

The words hit her hard but Maria steeled herself.

“Clint, what would you do if Laura kicked Cooper out and he disappeared. What would you do?”

_“That’s completely different!”_ Clint bristled, _“Cooper is my son! Not my job!”_

“Max is not my job!” Maria burst out, “She is every bit my kid as Cooper is yours! And all this is Natasha’s fault! Am I supposed to forgive her for this?! Am I?!”

_“Maria shut up!_ ” Barton yelled back over the phone, _“Natasha is hurting just as much as you are! And fuck you for not seeing that!”_

“Fuck me? Fuck her! She ruined our family!”

_“And you didn’t fuck up?! That bruise on her face? It just magically got there?”_ Barton accused her harshly.

“You have no idea what happened!”

_“You might be my boss, Maria, but Natasha is my partner, my best friend. I don’t know where she is, but if I did, you’d be the last person to know.”_

Maria’s phone shattered against the wall.

 

* * *

 

The guards went down so easy, it was ridiculous.

Natasha pushed her hair from her face and cautiously moved forward, deeper into the belly of the beast.

She wasn’t nervous, she’d done this thousandths of times before. But that was usually with someone droning orders through a comm. device, or Barton watching her back. Still, the Black Widow could perform a solo when necessary.

This was nothing new for her. But the stakes were higher than usual. Getting Max back seemed more important than kicking Loki’s ass.

Sentiment.

Natasha had once believed it to be her greatest weakness. But then she met Maria, with her cute smiles and loving words. Sentiment had never been so desirable.

She wasn’t sure what she was fighting for now, as she made her way through empty corridors. Natasha didn’t know what she had left. Her wife, if she could still use that title, her wife had made it very clear what she thought of her.

Natasha couldn’t blame her.

A loud creak drew her attention. She swirled around to see but there was no one there.

Another creak made Natasha look around frantically, but she couldn’t locate the noise.

Something felt wrong.

She took a few steps back but she was too late. The floor beneath her gave way and Natasha dropped an entire floor.

The Widow landed on her feet, not fazed by the fall. She’d had worse heights and harsher landings.

But when she righted herself to check her new surroundings, she felt the cold muzzle of a gun against the back of her head.

Her muscles tensed on instinct, ready to take out whoever threatened her.

“Do not move.”

As one, a group of heavily armed men in full camouflage gear marched forward, surrounding Natasha.

Even if she could take out the person who was holding the gun to her head, she wouldn’t be able to get away from the others.

Reluctantly, and with poorly hidden irritation, Natasha lifted her hands in the air.


	26. Chapter 26

An entire night passed without Natasha being seen and in the afternoon, Maria still hadn’t heard anything from her wife.

She squeezed her eyes shut with a heavy sigh. She didn’t even know if she could still consider Nat hers. What if it was too much, that one fight too many? What if she had finally pushed her love away?

Maria felt the tension rise like bile in her throat. She pushed the thoughts down. She refused to think about that until she had to.

Deciding that paperwork was what she needed to distract her from the terrifying ache in her chest, Maria grabbed a few random files from the ever present stack on her desk.

She was crossing t’s, dotting i’s and signing paper after paper until her hand ached but still Maria’s mind was with her redhead.

Every time her hand grabbed her pen, she caught a glimpse of her wedding ring and a new flash of guilt rolled over her like a tidal wave.

How could she have talked to Nat like that? How could she have treated her like that?

Maria let her head fall in her hands. How did she fuck up so badly?

She wiped a tear away with a loud sniffle.

Sitting back up again, her eyes were drawn to a file sticking out of the stack.

_Thirteen?_

Maria couldn’t recall sending Sharon on another mission. Not after that CIA fiasco.

Her curiosity tickled, she pulled the file out from between the others, only narrowly avoiding tipping the whole thing over.

**File 130124**

_Not thirteen, one three._

That stupid project that nobody knew shit about.

Maria ran her fingers over the numbers. Somehow this tied back to Max. Natasha had been so sure of that.

She should give the file to Tobin, so his analysts could look at it.

_One three._

_One three._

_One three._

_Thirteen._

_One three._

_Thirteen?_

_THIRTEEN!_

Maria nearly screamed. It had been right there. So fucking easy! How could they have missed that?

She was out of her seat in a flash, running down the hall like a madwoman.

“Agent Carmichael! Get me the CIA director on video conference now!”

“But ma’am…”

“I don’t care what he’s doing, when I walk into that room in five minutes I want to see his face, or so help me, I will bomb his office!”

Agent Carmichael blinked in shock.

“Use those exact words when you call him.” Maria ordered, setting an unforgiving pace towards the video conference room.

Maria took one last deep breath before opening the door.

“Depu…”

“You god fucking bastard!”

 

* * *

 

Max was picking at her toenails, bored out of her mind. Stretching her side to bend over like that hurt, but if nothing else, the burning ache was an unpleasant reminder that she was still alive. She needed one.

Her door groaned when it opened, the metal hinges were in desperate need of some grease. The sound made the hairs in her neck stand up and she cringed involuntarily.

“Boss wants you to wear this.” A heap of clothes was thrown in her face.

Max just rolled her eyes at the man. One of her guards. _Babysitters_ she liked to call them, just to annoy them.

“I’m busy.” She casually pointed at her toes, wiggling them to emphasize her point, “Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I think I can find a spot in my oh so busy agenda.”

His angry snarl told her he didn’t appreciate her sarcasm and she was only just fast enough to avoid his kick.

Her entire body screamed in pain as she rolled out of his reach.

“Put the fucking clothes on. Or we will do it for you.”

Max knew it wasn’t an empty threat and begrudgingly she picked up the clothes from the floor.

“You can go now.” She looked pointedly at the door. The man leered for a bit longer but then turned around and left with a huff.

The door creaked again when it shut and only then Max let out a deep breath. God, she hated those men.

She looked at the clothes she was holding. Just a t-shirt and training shorts. But still. It wasn’t like ‘boss’ to give her clothes. Picking her own clothes was the only bit of freedom she had. But apparently, that was over now.

They were a size too big for her, but Max changed anyway. It wouldn’t do her any good to be stubborn about something as trivial as t-shirts.

The clothes were white. Just like the facility. Max scrunched her nose up as she looked at herself. She looked paler than usual and the skin that showed was all purple and bruised.

She could feel that something wasn’t right. White clothes. It didn’t make any sense. From the beginning she was taught to wear dark clothes. Not only would that help in not standing out in a crowd, it would be easier to conceal blood splatter. Just a handy dandy tip from your neighborhood serial killer.

“I’m dressed!” Max yelled at the door, and just like she knew it would, the door opened and the creepy man grinned humorlessly at her.

“Follow.”

Max did so without argument, she was just glad they didn’t decide to drag her this time. It was all about picking your battles. This wasn’t one worth the fight.

He guided her to the training room. It was just a large, empty room. She shot her first person in this room. One of her babysitters. The man had smuggled a toy inside the facility for her. She put a bullet between his eyes.

She had to.

“The thing is here boss.” Her babysitter announced with his rough voice.

 _He_ turned around with the most disgusting smirk Max had ever seen.

“You’re wearing the clothes I gave you.” He seemed so pleased.

Max grumped.

“Not really my color though.”

His eyes narrowed, “Disrespect does not suit you, my little monster.”

She decided not to answer. It was always the smart thing to do, shutting up. But sometimes a little sarcasm was just too tempting.

He sighed wistfully, “You were so perfect.”

_Were? Oh, that’s so not good._

“What did they do to you?” He reached out and put one of his warm, meaty hands on her cheek, “Did they distract you? Did they tell you that you could belong with them?”

Max wanted to ask him what he was talking about, but a sense of dread filled her stomach and it glued her mouth shut.

“Because you can’t. You’re not like them.” He continued his creepy little speech, “You are not human. You’re my perfect little demon. They tempted you, but I will show you the right path again.”

“I’m not…” “Shut it!” He slapped her hard across the face, “Shut up beastie. They told you we are the bad guys, didn’t they?”

“Of course they did.” He nodded to himself, stepping away from Max, “They don’t realize the importance of _my_ work! Without me this world would become a playground for terrorists and mobsters! The scum of this earth!”

Max had heard this rant before, multiple times.

“They should be _thanking_ me! On their knees!” His face turned a little red, “But no! They cling to their own delusional sense of justice! Tell me beastie, what kind of justice lets murderers and drugdealers roam free?”

“A fraudulent justice sir.”

“That’s right! The only justice is mine! An eye for an eye! As it should be!” He raised his voice, “And you will obey my justice!”

Max cringed at the fat finger that pointed at her.

“Get the spy!” He ordered the babysitters.

“What spy?” She had to know what was happening. Max was alone, right? There weren’t other people like her in the facility?

“I did not ask you to speak!” Max took a step back from him, she hadn’t seen him like this before. He was always a bit deranged, but this seemed to reach new levels.

Before she could move further, she noticed his nod and a guard grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her back and turning her to face the door.

What she saw made her heart jump into her throat.

The men she had feared for her entire life, wrestled Natasha into the room.

She was bound and Max could spot the nasty bruises on her face and arms.

For some reason they had put the redhead into those ugly khaki training clothes that Max always had to wear. Probably because she was wearing her SHIELD suit.

“You remember Agent Romanoff, don’t you?” He sneered, “She used to be so perfect. I’ve told you the stories. But then SHIELD ruined her.”

If she wasn’t so stunned, Max would have screamed for her. But she couldn’t. It felt like the world stopped moving the second Natasha was made to kneel in front of her. This could not be happening.

Suddenly, three guns were trained on Max and _he_ pulled his own gun.

“You are a monster. You don’t belong with these people.” He repeated. And then he did what she feared the most. He pushed the gun into her hands.

“Kill her.”

 

* * *

 

“You fucking liar!” Maria screamed at the screen, “I will have your career for this! I will destroy your life!”

“Commander Hill! What are you talking about?” The CIA director leaned slightly away from her seething image.

“I am talking about the CIA not only operating on American soil, but using _children_ to do their dirty work!”

“The CIA does no such thing!”

“Liar!” Maria slammed her hand on the table, “I have the evidence right here! Project thirteen zero one twenty-four!”

The director pulled a face, “I told you before, I have never heard of any project! We stopped those payments! Whatever that was, it’s stopped!”

“You must have thought we’re so stupid!” Maria narrowed her eyes at the bastard, “Thirteen one twenty-four!”

“Will you stop! I have no idea what you’re talking about! What does it mean?!”

“It’s the letters of the alphabet! It spells Max!” Maria yelled, “Max! The CIA’s fucking child assassin!”

The director paused, “You have evidence for this?”

“Yes!” None at all, but he didn’t need to know, “Now where is she?!”

“Maria,” He used her first name, trying to sooth her, “I swear on my children that I don’t know anything about this. But, and this happened more than 10 years ago, I might know something.”

“Tell me everything Lee.” Maria didn’t know yet if she believed him, but she needed every bit of information he had.

“There were rumors, about 15 years ago, I was still an agent. There were rumors about the Black Widow turning herself in.” Lee sighed, “Now the Black Widow program, as disgusting as it is, in itself is pretty genius. Train them from when they’re babies, they’ll remain loyal forever.”

Maria felt sick to her stomach as he explained. How could anyone even consider the benefits of such a program?

“Of course, it was immediately decided that the CIA never wanted such a program.” Lee clarified quickly, “But there was one guy, he couldn’t leave the idea alone. Every meeting, every conversation, he started about a similar program. You might remember him, Gérard Michaud.”

“That creepy French dude?” Maria did remember him, he always tried to squeeze her ass when she passed him at the pentagon, back when she wasn’t the Commander yet, just a nameless rookie fresh out of the military, “He was on the shortlist for director, but then he disappeared.”

“He was fired.” Lee explained, “He couldn’t let it go, he wanted to start that program no matter the cost. We deemed him a liability and kicked him out.”

“You think he did this?”

“I think he’s the only one crazy enough, and he’s CIA.” Lee bit his lip, “He had a high clearance, he could have started the program before he got kicked out. It’s the only reason I can think of.”

“What’s his last known location?” Maria asked.

The director started typing at his computer, “Uh… His parents’ farm in Ohio.”

“No, he’s in New York!” Maria kicked at the table. Even with all the answers she might have now, she still had a whole lot of nothing.

“Maria what is going on here?”

Maria stared at him. She had always like Lee. He was a nice man, a real grandpa type.

“He’s abusing that kid. Using her to murder people.” Maria had a hard time saying it, “And… and I think Natasha is missing…”

Lee nodded gravely, “I’ll put out an immediate order to find Michaud. SHIELD has access to any information we have on him. You can expect our full cooperation. We’ll find them Maria.”

A loud knock distracted her from what she was going to say.

“Commander Hill?” Tony fucking Stark stuck his head inside, “I uh I think I did something stupid.”

Maria rolled her eyes, “Get Coulson to clean up your mess. I’m working here.”

“No Maria,” Tony insisted despite her glaring, “I think I know where they are.”

“Michaud?” Lee spoke first, “Give me the address, I’ll send my best intervention teams.”

“Not necessary.” Maria interrupted him, “SHIELD will handle this.”

“But what can we do then?” Lee asked, “I feel responsible.”

Maria wanted to tell him that he was, but she had kicked in enough windows with the CIA already.

“If you want to be of use, you’ll destroy every evidence of this investigation.”

“Maria? You’re not going to do anything stupid are you?”

Maria turned on her heel to follow Tony out.

“Maria? Maria!”

 

* * *

 

“Kill her.”

Max couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t scream. She just stood there, her arm weighed down by the heavy metal of the gun.

“Kill her!” He ordered again, louder this time.

She tried to think but it was like her body stopped functioning.

“Why?” Her voice sounded like a squeaky toy, but she couldn’t find it in her to care. Her heart was pounding in her chest, so hard it almost hurt.

“Because I say so!” The answer was loud in her ears and Max just wished she could close her eyes and disappear.

“It’s okay, kid.” Natasha voice pulled her away from her shock. The redhead sat there in front of her with a little smirk, “Breath. It’s okay.”

But Max had nothing to smirk about. She couldn’t see any way out. There was no chance they could come out of this. Not together.

Blind panic threatened to take over and Max didn’t realize how much she was trembling until a hand connected with her face harshly.

“What is wrong with you!” He spat at her, “You obey my orders!”

“I… I can’t…” Max shook her head, “She’s an agent. She’s on our side, no?”

She was stalling for time, desperate for a solution to this disaster.

“She snuck into my facility! She’s not on my side!” He screamed frantically.

Any other time Max would have pointed out his excessive use of _me_ and _I_ , just to mess with the creepy bastard. But right now she couldn’t even think about it.

“Kill her!” He cried again.

“No.” Max shook her head. She knew the consequences of her inaction. He’d beat her, let the other men beat her. She would gladly take the punishment.

But instead of stalking to her, he turned to Natasha. And planted his boot in her face.

Not even the redhead could keep the groan of pain down when her nose audibly cracked.

“Look, now the two monsters match.” He chuckled menacingly as he pinched Max’s own broken nose.

She could kill him. She had the gun in her hand. The others would shoot her immediately, but it would be over then.

“Let me make this clear, little demon. She dies today.” He whispered in her ear and the feeling of his hot breath on her skin made her want to vomit, “Either you shoot her, or I beat her to death. It’s your choice.”

Max swallowed heavily, tears pricking in her eyes. Why was nothing going as it should?

“Kid, it’s okay. Listen to me.” Natasha’s face was already bruising but she still wore that little smirk, “Мышка,” Max never thought she would hear that word ever again.

“Kill me.”

“No!” Max couldn’t contain the broken scream this time and immediately his fist shot out, punching Natasha in the face again.

“No! Stop it!” Max screamed. She tried to rush to Natasha, to help her, but the guards grabbed her and pulled the gun from her useless hands.

“Kill her!” He ordered again.

“Мышка, do it, please.” Natasha backed him up with blood gushing down her face, “They’ll hurt you if you don’t.”

“No I can’t!” Max was crying now.

“Get her up.” He ordered, walking away only to come back with an iron pipe. They pulled Natasha up by her shoulders, like they did to Max so many times. And the redhead just let them.

“Natasha kick him!” She screamed between her sobs, “Stop him!”

But Natasha only smirked, “You have to shut up Мышка, and you need to kill me.”

Somewhere deep inside, Max knew what she was doing. If she killed Natasha, she’d show her loyalty. She’d be safe. Natasha was giving her a chance to survive this mess. The redhead probably figured out their plan hours ago. And Max knew she had to go along with it.

If she screamed too loud, they would kill her too.

They were torturing her, by killing Natasha.

He swung the pipe hard. Into her ribs. Her head. Her arms. Every bit of Natasha he could reach.

“Stop it please!” Max pleaded but he never listened.

She heard another sickening crack of metal against flesh and bone when he hit her shoulder. Natasha barely screamed out.

Max begged him like she never had before, pleaded for mercy. He didn’t even turn around to face her.

She took more hits than any human ever should. When he finally paused his manic swinging, Natasha had collapsed. Her head hung, blood seeping down her face. The only reason she was still up, was because those horrible men were still holding her.

Max looked frantically for any sign that she was breathing, but she couldn’t see anything.

He readjusted his grip on the pipe and lifted it up again, ready to strike again.

“No! Stop! I’ll do it!” Max cried, “I’ll do it!”

She had to. She had to.

The gun was pushed into her hand again.

“Kill her then.”

She had to.

She had to.

Max aimed the gun at Natasha’s head with tears clouding her vision.

She had to.

She closed her eyes. Her finger tightened around the trigger.

Max screamed almost as loud as the bang that followed.


	27. Chapter 27

The street was locked down. Hell, the entire neighborhood was locked down. Maria couldn’t risk civilians butting in. _Stupid age of smartphones._

She was leaning over Tony’s shoulder, watching his every keystroke like a hawk. The man was already in full Iron Man get-up, ready for action. But they didn’t need the destruction and show the Avengers usually brought with them.

Maria wanted silence. She wanted to sneak in, surprise Michaud, even if every bone in her body wanted to rush in and save her family.

“JARVIS is in.” Tony told her, his eyes transfixed on the screen in front of him, “Security cameras are all looped so they won’t see us coming and I have a live feed of the cams right here.” He tapped a few more keys and the images popped up.

“Okay, I count six heavily armed men,” Fury spoke up loudly, the man had jumped at the opportunity to get back into the field. Honestly, Maria thought that it might have to do with Nat. The Director always had a soft spot for her wife, ”That’s Michaud in the middle there, and agent Romanoff and the child are with them.”

“Good, we won’t have to spread out to retrieve them.” Maria was thinking tactics. She had to, if she didn’t, if she thought with her emotions, she would break.

“There are two entrances.” Tony pulled them up on the screen, “We can surround them.”

Maria nodded, “Agent Tobin will go in through the back, we’ll take those big double doors.”

Fury gave the order through the comm. system and Maria watched as their agents started moving. She was used to the organized chaos of armed interventions. They gave her an adrenalin rush that nothing else ever could. But now all she felt was fear and nerves. This could go wrong in so many ways.

She felt more than heard Tony’s gasp next to her, the man went completely rigid, staring at the screen of his portable computer. Maria’s head swiveled to the screen.

“Move in now!” She screamed, already moving towards her team.

“Commander, Tobin isn’t in place yet!” The protests came from everywhere, but Maria couldn’t pause.

“They’re going to kill her!”

 

* * *

 

The doors slammed open dramatically, revealing a furious Deputy Director, flanked by an equally pissed off Director Fury and Iron Man.

Behind them was an impressive amount of SHIELD agents in full combat gear and Maria heard more than saw the doors on the other side of the room burst open to allow agent Tobin and his team to surround their targets.

Maria breathed in deeply, trying to exude a confidence she wasn’t feeling. She strode forward, gun already drawn.

She felt like she had stepped onto the set of a horror movie. She noticed Max first, the girl screaming as she was being held back by two enormous men who were struggling to hold onto her. They were prying the gun out of her hands while Max just kept screaming and kicking like mad.

And then she saw Nat. Her wife. Her everything. Dangling in the arms of some other guards. The complete lack of reaction from the assassin made Maria sick to her stomach. Did Max kill her?

Maria pointed to the two idiots holding Natasha up.

“Let go of my agent. Right. Now.” It wasn’t so much an order as it was a threat, and the two men must have immediately understood the murderous look Maria sent them.

They quickly stepped away from the redhead, but without the support from the idiots, Natasha unconscious body couldn’t hold herself up. The woman fell to the ground with a sickening thud.

It took Maria every little bit of control not to scream for her wife, to rush over and cradle her. Now was not the time for sentiment.

Natasha would understand.

The medical team with them shot into action and rushed Natasha out on a stretcher, while Maria focused back on the real task on hand.

Gérard Michaud had the fucking nerve to sent her a small smile.

“She’s an agent of yours? We had no idea!” His voice grated on her nerves and Maria trained her gun on him, “Honestly! She infiltrated a secure government facility. We thought she was a spy.”

“You fucking liar!” Her outburst seemed to unnerve Michaud and Maria took great pleasure in seeing him cower before her.

“Well, you have your agent. Now please leave, this is a need-to-know operation. You don’t have clearance.”

Maria ignored him, turning to Tony Stark in his suit of armor, “We good?”

“Yup, JARVIS just uploaded all of their files to the SHIELD server. Every keystroke they made is fully accessible to you at the Triskelion.”

Michaud turned red, “You have no right! You’re interfering with CIA missions above…”

“What CIA mission?!” Maria scoffed at him, “You don’t work for the CIA! Does your little militia know that?” She pointed to the armed guards around them, “You were fired over a decade ago Michaud! Now hand over the girl!”

“No! It’s my property! You can’t take it out in the world, you don’t understand how it functions!”

“IT?!” Fury decided to interfere, “You call that child IT? What the fuck is wrong with you man?”

“You can hardly classify that as a human! Look at it!” Michaud waved to were Max was still struggling and fighting to get free.

“Hand her over or I will shoot you right now.” Maria was done fucking around. She was just so fucking done with all of this.

Gérard Michaud swallowed heavily, obviously weighing his options. Maria cocked her gun.

“Now.”

With a sigh and a nod of his head, he gave in. The men holding Max stepped back immediately and Max rushed forward to Maria.

“Agent Barton, Agent Carter. Take the girl to the Triskelion now.”

“Maria?” Max cocked her little head at her, unsure of what was happening.

“Take her to my private quarters, she’ll stay there until I can get to her. Don’t let her talk to anyone without my permission.”

Barton and Sharon rushed forward to lead Max away at her orders. Max went with them, but Maria couldn’t pretend she didn’t see the longing, hurt look on the girls face.

She had to do it. Maria couldn’t risk anyone talking to Max when they hadn’t struck a proper deal for her yet. She couldn’t risk SHIELD locking her away.

“That is my life’s work.” Michaud commented unhappily and Maria couldn’t take it anymore.

She turned back to him, slamming the butt of her gun into his face. His yelp of pain and surprised brought the tiniest smile to her face.

“Let’s move out.”

 

* * *

 

Outside, Maria saw the back of the SHIELD medical van rushing away from the scene, her wife on board. She didn’t get an update through the comms like she usually would. For all she knew, Natasha was dead.

Barton and Sharon were struggling to get Max to comply and get into their SUV.

“No! I want to stay with Maria!”

“We have our orders.” Clint’s voice was softer than she’d ever heard before, “She’ll come see you soon, I’m sure.”

“Maria! Maria!” Max screamed to her, but she had to turn away from the girl. She couldn’t deal with that yet. Natasha was her first priority.

Max wrestled herself away from Clint, rushing over to Maria.

“Kid…” Maria sighed, she couldn’t look at her, not really.

“I don’t want to go with them…”

“It’s not your choice.” Maria decided with a finality that made Max take a step back. Maria instantly regretted her words, “Max, just go with Clint. Please, I don’t want to fight about this. Just do as I say. I need to check on Natasha.”

Max nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Clint, take her to SHIELD.” Maria ordered again, “But stop at the medbay first? No tests, no drugs. Just stitches where she needs them, okay?”

“Yes Commander.” Clint nodded, putting a gentle hand on Max’s shoulder to lead her away, “Come on kid, let’s go. Maria has to handle this and then she’ll come back.”

Maria watched as they left her with the Director.

“Hill…” Before Fury could finish, another agent interrupted.

“Director! What do we do with the facility?” The agent stepped forward.

Fury turned his attention to Maria, silently asking what they should do.

Maria had only one answer.

“Blow it to hell.”

“But Commander Hill, those people are still inside.”

“Blow it to hell agent.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised soon! So this is soon! Please don't hate meeeeeeee :-D

Fury was driving too goddamn slow. Maria had been forced into the backseat, they wouldn’t let her drive the SUV back to the Triskelion.

 _Fucking pussies_.

As if she would risk everybody’s lives like that. For Natasha. _She would._

“Did you get an update yet?” She asked for the umpteenth time, even though she knew he would tell her immediately.

“Nothing.” Coulson shook his head, “You’ll see when you get to the medbay. She’ll be fine.”

“Fine? _Fine?!_ Did you not see her in that building?!” Maria screeched. How dare he downplay this situation? How dare he belittle her intelligence like that? As if she didn’t know how bad it really was?

“Maria.” Nick warned lowly, “We’ll be there in five minutes. Get yourself in check Commander.”

She leaned back into her seat with another glare to the back of Coulson’s head, counting down the seconds until they arrived.

 

* * *

 

Maria had flown down to the medical section of the Triskelion as soon as the car halted. Some agents had thrown her weird looks, but the angry scowl on her face sure stopped them from getting in her way.

“I need agent Romanoff’s status!” She yelled at the first medical personnel she saw.

“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you anything.” The blonde woman said quickly, before looking back down at her papers as if Maria wasn’t there anymore.

“I’m her wife! And your boss!” Maria glared, “I need her status.”

The woman seemed unimpressed by the Commander, “I don’t care who you are, I can’t tell you anything. Because I don’t know anything. The doctors are still working on her. Sit down and wait.”

“They’re working on her? So she’s alive? Right? Please tell me she’s alive?” Maria didn’t care how she sounded, she didn’t care that begging the woman for information might ruin her reputation. She didn’t need a reputation anyway, she just needed Nat.

The blonde’s face softened sympathetically, “Yes she is Commander. Go sit over there, I’ll go find you someone who can tell you more.”

Maria swallowed heavily. She had raced down to the medbay fueled on by pure fear. Hearing Natasha was still alive made her heart skip a beat. That sickening, horrifying feeling in her gut died down. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t think.

Fear had drained her of every bit of her strength. Maria suddenly felt a little lightheaded. It was with only half a mind that she reached out for the offered chair, sinking down with a boneless feeling.

And then the tears came.

_Natasha was alive._

 

* * *

 

Three hours. Three goddamn fucking hours!

A doctor had shown up quickly after she had sat down, telling her absolutely jack shit about Natasha’s status, only that they were _examining the severity of the traumas_.

And then he left. Three hours ago, he left.

The first hour Maria had quietly sat down, doubting her every decision and every word she had spoken over the last few days. But then the doubt and sadness turned to anger once again.

So for the past two hours, Maria had been pacing. From the chair to the wall across and back. Over and over and over again.

Maria was so angry. Every muscle in her body was tense, she felt ready to explode. Her skin itched like she needed to get out of it, but she couldn’t and it was just so frustrating. Everything was so frustrating.

“Maria?”

She turned quickly, and couldn’t hide her disappointment when she saw Clint instead of a doctor.

“What’s, uh… How is she?”

Maria shook her head, “I don’t know, nobody is telling me anything.”

Clint ran a hand through his short hair, sighing sadly. His skin looked grayish, his eyes red from holding back tears and worry. Maria wondered if she looked as ghostly as he did.

“I… the kid is fine, Sharon’s with her now. A few stitches and a little plaster for her nose, but other than that it’s just scrapes and bruises.” Clint said without her asking. Maria was grateful for the information, happy that Max would be alright, at least physically.

“She keeps asking for you.” Clint added quietly.

Maria nodded. She knew she needed to go see the girl, but Natasha…

“I need to be here first Clint.”

He nodded in understanding, “We’ll take care of her for now, you just worry about Nat.”

Maria was grateful for him. As much as they teased and annoyed each other, Clint Barton was a good man. And a good friend.

“Thank you.”

Clint swooped her up in a hug, unexpected but not unwelcome at all.

“I’m sorry Maria, I’m sorry for being so angry with you.” He whispered, squeezing her tight in his strong arms.

“It’s alright Clint, I understand.” She let her head fall against his shoulder, soaking in the comfort he brought, “You were protecting your best friend. I can’t be mad at you for loving her like you do.”

“But I love you too Maria, don’t you forget that. You’re not alone in this.” Clint told her, “Alright? I’m here for you, and Sharon and Coulson, and the kid too. You’re not alone.”

“Commander Hill?” She immediately detached herself from Clint, looking at the doctor with unbridled fear.

“If you could walk with me Commander? I will take you to agent Romanoff.”

 

* * *

 

Maria could cry when she saw her wife. She never really looked at her when they ambushed the building.

Natasha’s face was swollen, black and blue all over with nasty gashes everywhere.

But bruises would fade, Maria knew. It was the tubes, the machines that helped her breathing, the rhythmic peep that indicating that she still had a heartbeat, those things made Maria feel sick.

“Agent Romanoff took quite the beating.” The doctor said gently, “She has a few bruised ribs, two broken, a dislocated shoulder, broken wrist, a fracture in her jaw and a broken nose. We had to set her wrist and her nose, but the other injuries will heal themselves. But there’s more,…”

The way the doctor breathed in, the heaviness in his eyes, it made Maria want to run. She didn’t want to know.

“She took some hits to the head Commander, her brain was swelling when she got here. We could stop the swelling but, there’s no way of knowing what the real damage will be…” He paused, “She’s in a drug-induced coma know, and I’d like to keep her like this until the worst of the injuries are healed. For her own good of course.”

Maria could only nod, wide-eyed. This could not be happening. Natasha was supposed to be the strong one, bulletproof and fearless. She could not get hurt like this. She wasn’t allowed to be hurt.

“Commander, you have to understand that the brain is an unpredictable thing. I can’t tell you what is going to happen next. I can’t tell you anything really.”

“We… we’ll see when she wakes up, right?” Maria didn’t recognize her own voice. Her heart was pounding loudly and all she wanted was to rush back to Clint and hide in his arms forever.

“Commander… she might not wake up.”


	29. Chapter 29

Five days past. Five days of complete and utter hell. Maria reverently brushed her fingers over the bulky bandage around Natasha’s head. The rough structure felt so wrong under her fingertips, she wanted it gone.

She wanted all of it gone. The beeping machines, the tubes, the bandages, all of it. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

She was going to swoop into that building, all badass and cool. She was going to save the day, save her wife and Max. Maria was supposed to be the hero.

But she was too late. A lump formed in her throat at the thought of it. She was too late. And now Natasha might… Because Max…

She couldn’t think about that. It hurt too much.

But the thought was there, constantly. Screaming at her day and night. And there was nothing she could do. No way to make this better.

She was the second in command, tasked with keeping the entire world safe. And she couldn’t even save the woman she loved.

“Commander?” Yet another doctor walked into the room. Every day that past brought new doctors, new opinions. But never new hope.

Maria reluctantly stepped away from Natasha’s bed, letting the doctor poke and prod and shine lights in her eyes. As if a flashlight could bring her wife back to her.

“She uh she seems stable.” The doctor offered, but Maria didn’t take comfort in it. She didn’t want stable. She wanted better. _Needed_ better.

“For now agent Romanoff is in a medically induced coma.” She had heard this explanation a million times over the past five days, “But we think that once she breaths easier, when her ribs are better, we would like to take her off that medication. See what she does then. We will need your permission though.”

Maria nodded numbly, “How long? Until you stop the meds?”

“A few more days? Agent Romanoff seems to heal fairly quickly.” The doctor gave her a smile that was supposed to be reassuring, it didn’t do much to put her at ease.

“Will she hurt? If you stop the drugs? Will she be in pain?”

“With the amount of injuries she has, that’s inevitable Commander. But it won’t be pain, more like an ache. We’ll keep her on painkillers though.”

Maria sighed, squeezing the redhead’s leg. It seemed like that was the only part she could touch without hurting the woman.

“What would you do? If it was your wife?” Maria asked eventually.

The doctor smiled sympathetically, “I’d keep her in the coma for at least another week.”

Maria felt conflicted. She wanted her wife back. Now. But having Natasha in pain… more pain than necessary…

“Keep her in the coma then…” It was the right choice to make, but tears still pricked behind her eyes.

The doctor nodded, jotting something down in Natasha’s log.

“Have a good day Commander. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.” He turned to leave.

“Doctor…” Maria had to ask the one question that was whirling through her mind, “If you take her out of the coma…”

She couldn’t finish, her voice gave out. But the man understood what she was trying to ask from him.

“When we take her off the medication, that’s when it becomes entirely up to her. Right now the drugs are preventing her from waking up. When the drugs go, we give the control back to her.”

“So she’ll wake up?”

“We just don’t know Commander. The choice so the speak, is hers. If her brain can handle it, she’ll wake up. If it can’t…” He fell silent with a little shake of his head.

“I… I never asked but… the bullet… did they take it out?”

“What bullet? Agent Romanoff wasn’t shot, was she?” With a frown he rustled through the papers in Natasha’s log, “She wasn’t shot? Right? Have I been given wrong information? Commander, you know protocol! I have full clearance to know what has happened to my patients! She could die if I make a mistake!”

“She wasn’t shot?”

“I have blunt force trauma to the head in my files!” The doctor was quickly turning red in anger, “Who wrote the log?!”

Maria’s head was reeling. Who wrote the log? The doctor who brought her to see Nat? Maybe? She didn’t know, that day, those hours, it was all just a blur in her mind.

“Eh, Yuri? Yuri I think?”

“Doctor Watabe? Figures.” The doctor before her was seething, “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be back soon.”

Maria stared in shock as the doctor left in a hurry. She could hear him curse every deity as soon as the door shut.

She had no idea what was going on. In absolutely nothing. She didn’t know anything about how her wife was. She didn’t know anything about Max. She didn’t know anything about SHIELD. She knew nothing. Fucking nothing.

Her breathing grew heavy as tears gathered in her eyes. What was she going to do? Without Nat? What would happen?

Maria knew she shouldn’t think like that but her wife was right there in front of her. And the thought of never speaking to her again, never seeing her smile again, it killed her inside. Every minute without her hurt so bad.

Their last conversations sprung to mind. How awful she had been. To the woman she loved more than anything. And those words, those hateful words might be the last she ever spoke to her.

Maria couldn’t stay standing, sobs wrecking her body. She collapsed in the horrid plastic chair next to Natasha, placing her forehead against her wife’s leg.

She cried. Wailed like a lost child. For every memory they shared. For every memory they might never have.

Without Natasha, she had truly lost everything.

 

* * *

 

“Commander? Commander Hill? Wake up.” Someone gently jostled her shoulder.

Maria forced her eyes to open, some part of her praying that this had all been one horrid dream.

But her head was still leaning against the unconscious body of her wife and Maria just wanted to cry all over again.

“Commander?”

She didn’t want to, but she had to turn around and face the doctor. Two doctors. She recognized the doctor from before and Yuri too.

“Commander, it seems that you have been misinformed…” The doctor said, with a dirty glance to Yuri, “Agent Romanoff wasn’t shot.”

“I never said she was shot!” Yuri grumbled beside him, “I don’t know where that information comes from.”

Maria blinked, “But I saw… Max had a gun…”

“Then she missed.” The doctor shook his head, “Agent Romanoff was not shot. Beaten, yes, very badly. But not shot.”

“Does that… does that change anything?” Maria regained the tiniest bit of hope. It was a stupid question, she knew. But that didn’t stop her from asking anyway.

“I’m sorry Commander, it doesn’t change anything. It only changes what you know. Natasha’s injuries stay the same.”

She nodded, but suddenly moving her head seemed like a task. Little black dots danced before her eyes. She had to blink to make them disappear.

“Commander, have you been home at all? Since the incident?”

Of course she hadn’t! She had to stay with Natasha! She had to be there for her wife. Even if the redhead had no idea that she was here.

The doctors stared at her with sympathy and pity.

“Maybe you should get out of here for a bit. Nothing will happen if you leave.” Yuri’s words made her flinch, “You need some air Maria.”

“I can’t, I have to stay.” Maria protested.

“No, you _have_ to sleep. And eat. Maria, when was the last time you even ate?”

She couldn’t say. She vaguely remembered Clint bringing her a chocolate bar, but when?

“Go home Maria, have dinner, get a full night’s sleep. Natasha is stable now.”

“No! I’m not leaving!” Maria glared as best as she could. The doctors were right, she knew that logically. But they were talking about leaving her wife behind. Logic went out the window.

The doctors shared a concerned look.

“What if we get an extra bed here?” The one doctor, the guy she still hadn’t bothered to ask for his name, suggested, “Will you sleep in a bed here?”

Maria thought about it. What if she fell asleep again, and something happened?

“Maria, if you don’t start sleeping and eating, we’ll have to admit you too. And then you won’t be in this room at all. Do you understand that?”

That wouldn’t do. She had to stay with Natasha. They couldn’t take her away from her love.

“I… Bring the bed… I’ll sleep.” Maria had to concede.

The doctor nodded, “We’ll send someone with food too. Take care of yourself Commander. Doctor’s orders.”

He left with the smallest smile, leaving Yuri alone with her.

“You know, sometimes coma-patients can hear you… when you talk to them.” Yuri said carefully, “She might know you’re here. She might know how you are doing. You have to take care of yourself. For her.”

Maria focused on Natasha. Did she really know? Would she want her to be here? Or did she hate her? Blame her?

God knows she did. If she had just been nicer to Natasha… they wouldn’t be here if Maria hadn’t been such an asshole to her.

“Maria, I don’t know what happened of course, but people talk…” The doctor started with a low voice, “Natasha wouldn’t have done what she did if she didn’t love you.”

Natasha had risked everything, her own life, to bring Max home… the realization made Maria tear up again. Maybe Nat didn’t hate her…

“Take care of yourself. She’ll need you to be at your best when she wakes up.”

“If… if she wakes up.” Maria corrected, she needed the bit of hope he gave her. But she couldn’t… if she clung to it, if she clung to that hope, there would be nothing left of her if Natasha didn’t come back to her.

“ _When_ , Maria.” He patted her shoulder with a little smile, “We’re still talking about Natasha Romanoff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ended a little less sad, no? :-D Don't hate me? But keep sending me messages? :-D


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little FYI: I let my someone read this and she called me Satan... Enjoy!!!! :-D

“Honey! Come on! We’re going to be late!” Maria yelled at the closed bedroom door. To say she was nervous would be the understatement of the century. Her hands were trembling and her legs felt like they could give out at any moment.

She really needed a drink.

“Relax Maria! We have three more hours! Barton isn’t even here yet!” The response was followed by that little chuckle she had grown to love more than anything in this world.

Maria couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face, despite the nerves rushing through her belly like a swarm of butterflies.

She raked her fingers through her hair for the hundredth time that morning, a heavy, sick feeling in her stomach. She still couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“Are you almost ready?” She asked again, ignoring the slightly annoyed huff from the other side of the door.

“Almost!”

Maria nodded happily, even if no one could see her. When she smoothed down her jacket, staring at her own reflection in the hallway mirror, she wondered what her mom would think of her right now.

Would she be proud?

Maria hoped she would be. She couldn’t imagine leading a different life than the one she had.

“Are you okay? You’re very quiet? You’re not running away, are you?”

Maria chuckled, “Of course not. Now get out here! I want to see you!”

“Hold on, hold on! I just need to zip this up!”

Her stomach turned and twisted. She hadn’t even seen her yet, but Maria was already trembling with excitement and a slight fear. Her heart was thumping so loud, she was certain it could be heard from the other side of the door.

The anticipation was killing her.

And then the door opened.

Natasha Romanoff was a goddess. There was no other word to use. Goddess wasn’t even good enough to explain how wonderful the redhead looked.

Maria could only gape at the woman.

“What do you think?” Natasha twirled, the green dress flowing and swishing like she was a movie star.

_So beautiful._

“You like it?” Natasha guessed with a twinkle in her eyes.

Maria nodded, words leaving her as she stared.

“You look beautiful too, I’ve never seen you dressed up like this.” Natasha stepped forward, stroking the shoulders of Maria’s jacket with her delicate hands.

She blushed, selfconsciously pulling on the bottom of her dress uniform, “Yes you have. I wear this at every occasion thingie.”

Natasha smirked, “Yeah but I’ve never seen you wear it for this _occasion thingie_. Makes it look completely different. Very sexy.”

“Nat! We don’t have time for your seduction eyes!” Maria grabbed the woman’s wandering hands, squeezing them reverently, “We have other plans, remember?”

“I don’t think I could ever forget.”

Having Natasha look at her like that left Maria breathless. She didn’t know what she had done in her life to deserve _that_ look from _that_ woman, but god, if she ever found out, she’d never stop doing it.

“You okay Maria?”

Maria nodded, her voice dropping to a low whisper, “Better than ever.”

“Come on then! I want to be Natasha Hill!”

**_“Maria? Maria wake up. Maria?”_ **

She jolted awake with a gasp, staring into the eyes of a very concerned Phil. It took her a minute to remember, but soon the too familiar beeping of machines brought her back down to her reality.

She was in the medical bay. With Natasha. _Natasha_.

Tears filled her eyes when she realized it was only just a dream.

She sat up on the bed they had placed next to Natasha. It was uncomfortable, but Maria didn’t really use it anyway.

She only laid down on it to rest, and even then she spent most of that time watching the rise and fall of Natasha’s chest. She didn’t want to ever close her eyes again. She just wasn’t brave enough.

It was Coulson, to everyone’s surprise, who stepped up and took care of her, even if she didn’t want to admit that. He brought her food and updates on Max, who was still being watched by Sharon and Clint.

Phil even surprised her by bringing a huge comfy recliner to replace the plastic chair that was slowly murdering her back. If she was honest, Maria wasn’t sure she would be able to keep it together like she did without Phil’s support.

Not that she really did keep it together. Maria spent most days crying and quietly begging Natasha to please open her eyes. To please be alright.

Maria didn’t know how much more she could take. Her heart hurt with every beep of the machines hooked up to her wife.

“How are you doing, Maria?” Phil asked carefully. His voice was barely a whisper, like he was afraid she would break if he talked too loudly.

Maria shook her head with a deep sigh, “I don’t know.”

“How is Natasha?”

“I don’t know.”

Phil sighed sadly. Normally Maria would get upset with him, she didn’t want his pity. But she was just so tired. There wasn’t any fight left in her.

“Sharon and Clint asked when you’re coming to see the girl. She’s getting antsy.”

Maria couldn’t look at him, “Soon.”

“Soon? Maria, a week ago you were going to bomb the CIA to get her back and now you can’t even go and talk to her? And I know you want to stick with Nat, but come on! What’s really going on here?”

“I…” Maria shook her head at herself, “What can I tell her? How epically I fucked everything up? How my wife probably will never talk to me again? Fuck Phil, she might never wake up! And I did that! I’m responsible!”

“You are not responsible for this.” Phil soothed.

“If I go and… and talk to her now… it’ll break me.” Maria whispered, “I need to get a grip first. I can’t break down in front of her Phil, I need to be strong for her.”

“She doesn’t need you to be strong, she just needs you to be there.”

Maria let Phil’s words sink in, but still she shook her head. She couldn’t see Max like this. She didn’t want the girl to know what she had done to their family.

Phil squeezed her shoulder.

“Have you left this room yet?”

“I can’t leave her alone Phil. What if she wakes up? I need to be here.”

“Maria, you know she can’t wake up. She’s still too drugged.” Phil said gently, “Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria for a sandwich. We’ll be back before you know it.”

“I can’t Phil.”

“You can’t sit here forever.” Phil pulled on her hand, “30 minutes, not a second longer. You have to eat Maria.”

Maria’s eyes trailed over her wife again, taking in each bandage, every bruise.

“Phil, if she wakes up…”

“The doctor says it’s not happening Maria yet, you know that.” He said it gently, but the words still hurt, “30 minutes, that’s all I ask.”

Maria swallowed heavily, “20.”

 

* * *

 

Phil practically dragged her to the cafeteria, mindlessly chatting about nothing and everything at once. She appreciated the noise, she had had enough silence from Natasha to last her a lifetime.

Maria needed his babbling to stop herself from overthinking too much.

“Cheese?” Coulson asked, putting the sandwich on the tray before the words had left his mouth. He already knew she was a sucker for Gouda.

“So, word has it that Fury is looking out for an assistant for you.” He was casual about it, reciting one of the many SHIELD rumors going around. But Maria gasped.

She had asked Nick for an assistant. So she could adopt a child. With Natasha.

_Natasha._

“I can’t do this.” Maria’s voice failed her, only a broken whisper leaving her lips, “I have to go back to Natasha, she can’t be alone. I can’t leave her.”

They hadn’t even sat down yet and Maria knew she didn’t even come close to the promised 20 minutes. But she needed her. She needed to be with her wife.

Phil didn’t bother saying anything, he just pushed the sandwich into her hands, a silent reminder that she needed to eat.

And Maria was off to the medbay once again.

 

* * *

 

Maria thanked her parents for her long legs as she rushed down to see her wife again.

In her head she knew it wouldn’t make a difference if she was in the room with Natasha or not, she knew it wouldn’t change anything. But she just couldn’t bear the thought of Natasha being all alone.

Last time she had left Natasha on her own… well… that had brought them here, unsure if she would ever talk to her wife again.

She rounded the last corner, almost running over a nurse in her haste. The Commander in her told her to slow down, but the wife inside her won and Maria practically ran to Natasha’s door.

She didn’t remember leaving it open, but there were so many nurses and doctors going in and out, Maria didn’t think twice about it.

Until she saw someone hunched over Natasha’s side.

She recognized her instantly, even if her back was turned to her. It was like how she could find Natasha in a crowded room with her eyes closed.

She had heard Maria’s fast footsteps, she had to have heard them, but she didn’t turn around.

“Kid…” Maria had trouble speaking, “You were supposed to stay with Sharon and Clint.”

Max didn’t respond, not turning away from Natasha.

“Max?” She tried again,” Max, turn around!”

Maria didn’t have the time to think about apologizing for being so harsh with the small child. Because Max turned around.

And it broke Maria just like she thought it would.

Max didn’t look just sad, she was sobbing. Like a little girl. The worst of the bruising had faded from her face but Maria could still see the ugly yellow and green bumps all over her.

She looked how Maria felt. Broken and alone.

Max didn’t meet her eyes, the girl stared at the open door behind her, like she was calculating to run. Away from Maria.

Never before had it felt for Maria like the world had stopped turning. She thought it had, but now she knew that this was an entirely new feeling. Her knees were trembling like she had just seen her worst fear come alive, her heart was pounding in her chest, trying to break free.

She felt weak.

Max still didn’t say anything and Maria knew she had to take the first step with her little assassin but there was this horrid beep in her ears that made it impossible to think.

The girl sniffled loudly in front of her, pulling Maria back down to earth.

“Max…” She didn’t know what to say to her, “Maxie, sweetie… I’m sorry Tiny.”

Max’s head snapped up hearing that little nickname.

Maria was barely able to catch the girl when Max ran at her, almost crushing her in a hug. The girl wrapped her arms tightly around her, jumping up to cling to Maria like a little koala.

Maria clung to her just as desperately, rocking the teenager on her hip as if she were just a little baby.

“Tiny, my sweet baby, I’m so sorry baby girl.”

She hadn’t realized how much she missed Max until she felt the girl burying her face into her neck, tears dripping onto her shirt and skin.

“It’s going to be alright baby, it’s going to be fine.”

Maria didn’t believe her own words and she knew Max wouldn’t either, but she couldn’t stand to see her girl so heartbroken.

“Come on sweetie,” Maria whispered, “Let’s go sit down on Phil’s big chair, huh?”

She loosened her grip on Max, but the teenager squeezed her harder.

“No don’t leave, please don’t leave!” Max begged, panicky tears streaming down her face, “Please don’t go mommy!”

“No sweetie, no don’t cry, my baby.” Maria soothed, “Honey, mommy is here, okay? I’m here, I’m sorry baby girl, I’m not sending you back to Sharon and Clint, okay? You’re staying with us.”

“Don’t go mommy.” Max repeated again, almost like a whisper in Maria’s ear, “I think I really need you.”

Maria swallowed her own tears down, “I think I really need you too Tiny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream-part really breaks you, doesn't it? :-D I feel so wonderfully evil! Please, feel free to cry in the comments, it really makes my day :-D


	31. Chapter 31

Maria swayed and rocked Max on her hip, the small teenager barely weighing anything in her arms.

After what seemed like forever, Max’s cries slowed down to sniffles, her hold on Maria loosening just a fraction.

“Are you going to sleep little girl?” Maria guessed that Max had probably slept as little as she had since this whole mess started.

Max nuzzled her face into Maria’s neck.

“Depends. What will you do if I sleep?”

The question didn’t surprise Maria and she squeezed the girl in her arms tightly.

“I’m going to put you on the bed, and then I’m going to sit in the chair and keep watch.”

Max sighed, “No, I want to stay with you. I want the chair too.”

“Sweetheart, I’ll be right there.” Maria soothed as best as she knew, “I won’t move. You need to sleep.”

“I can sleep in the chair with you.”

“You want to keep cuddling?”

“I’m not cuddling.” Max almost sounded like her usual grumpy self, “I’m checking if you are really here.”

The admission tugged at Maria’s heart. She fucked up so badly by sending Max away.

“With your entire body?” She tried a little joke, to ease them both. One day they would have to talk about what happened. But now was not the time, not when they were both so fragile already.

“Shut up mom.” Max groaned in embarrassment. And Maria had to admit that the sound of an embarrassed child was a pretty great thing.

“I’ll sleep on the bed with you, okay?”

Max hummed with what Maria assumed was a kind of approval.

“You’ll have to let go off me so I can get you on the bed Tiny.”

“Nuh-uh. You’re supposed to be the smart one, figure it out.” Max protested softly, but the crack in her voice told Maria how serious she was, “I’m not letting go again.”

“Baby girl, hey sweetie,” Maria cooed, “My sweetie, it’s alright, okay? I can let you go, and I’ll still be here, okay? You don’t have to hold me, Tiny. I’ll stay.”

“You promised that before. You promised nobody would take me away. And then…” Maria felt the tears drip onto her shoulder again.

“Because you didn’t give me the time to fix things little girl,” she tried not to be accusing, but it had to be said, “You should trust me to fix things for us, yeah?”

“I wanted to stay…”

“I know you did baby, it’s okay.” Maria whispered running her free hand over Max’s back hoping to stop the tears.

“I was scared.”

“I know honey, I know. We all get scared sometimes, it’s alright to be scared.”

Max whimpered in her arms, “I’m sorry mommy.”

“I’m sorry too baby girl. But we’re going to fix all of this, alright? You and me, okay?”

“I want mama back.” Max cried.

Maria nodded, tears running down her own cheeks, “I know Tiny, I want mama too.”

Max sobbed into her shoulder. It broke Maria’s heart that all she could do was sway the girl back and forth, whispering every sweet word she knew.

Natasha would know better what to do, she had no doubt. Her wife was such a natural when it came to this girl, she always knew what to say to Max. Maria could only hope that the crying would wear the girl out enough until she passed out.

It seemed like an awful thing to hope, but sleep was so much better than reality.

“Maria! We lost…” Clint Barton rushed into the room, “Oh, you found her.”

Maria turned around with a glare, “You lost her? Is that how she got here? I thought you guys dropped her off?!”

“No uh… see, I was uh…” Clint stumbled over his words, “I was going to get food… for the kid! We feed the kid… normally, not today because she ran off… but uh… I was out and uh… she tasered Sharon and broke out.”

Maria closed her eyes in slight frustration, “Maaaaaax.”

“Oops?” she could feel Max grin against her and Maria shook her head in disbelieve.

“We do not taser agents Max.” Maria tried to stay stern with her.

“But I missed you…” Max squeaked pathetically, playing right with Maria’s already fragile heart. And then she gave her the deathblow, “I missed you _mommy_.”

“I’m sorry sweet girl, it’s alright now okay?” She kissed the mop of hair on her shoulder before turning back to Clint, “I’m sorry, is Sharon okay?”

“Pissed. But fine. I’ll go call the searchparty off. Uh… how’s Tasha?”

Maria grimaced, “No change.”

“Okay… I’ll, uh, can I stop by tomorrow? I…”

“You always come over Clint.” Maria said with a small smile.

The man nodded, matching her hesitant smile.

“You know, that…” He pointed at Max, “That is the calmest I’ve seen her all week.”

“Yeah?” Maria brushed her hand over the girl’s back, “Did she eat okay?”

“She ate. I wouldn’t say she ate well, but she ate.”

“And sleep?”

“I’m still here.” Max huffed in annoyance.

“Well, if you weren’t so heavy, I wouldn’t notice.” Maria joked, “You’re very quiet.”

“I don’t like him.”

Maria chuckled at the miffed teenager, “He’s Nat’s best friend sweetheart, you’ll have to get used to him. It’s good to stay friends with him, his wife makes delicious food.”

Clint grinned at her joke, but Max just sniffled loudly.

“I don’t want food! I want mama!”

“And I think that’s my cue to leave.” Clint sighed, “I’ll be back, okay? I’ll bring food, or something else?”

“A change of clothes would be nice. You still have the key to our place?”

Clint nodded, “I’ll bring clothes.”

“Can you… can you take a sweater from Nat? For the kid?”

Max was crying loudly again, shuddering in Maria’s arms.

“Yeah, I’ll go get that now. I don’t have anything to do.”

“Thanks Clint.”

“Anytime Maria.”

With a smile and a wave, Clint left her to take care of the broken teen slobbering all over her.

“Max? Max, honey, I know it’s hard. And it hurts so much, I know. But please stop crying baby girl.” Maria whispered with tears in her own eyes, “Please baby, it’s not going to help her.”

“B-But I’m just so _sad_ mommy.” Max sobbed.

Maria hushed her gently, “I’m sad too honey, I’m sad too. But we can do this little girl. We’re going to stick together and we’re going to be fine.”

“I miss mama. What if she doesn’t…” “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there Max.” Maria interrupted, “Don’t write your mama off just yet. She’s a tough woman.”

Max nodded mutely into her neck. It was like nothing Maria said could make the girl feel better. She understood, she really did. Because Maria herself didn’t feel better at all. Her words didn’t hold any truth.

If Natasha didn’t wake up, nothing would ever be alright again.

But Maria had a responsibility. One that was starting to make her arms cramp up.

“I’m going to put you on the bed Tiny, okay?” Maria took small steps to the bed until Max’s bum hit the high bed.

“No! Mommy no!” Max’s fingers clawed at her shoulders, desperate for Maria not to pull away.

“Honey!” Maria grabbed her hands tightly in her own, “Honey, look at me?”

She tried to take a step back from the girl, but Max tightened her legs around her waist, making it impossible to move away.

“Please Tiny.” Maria sighed, “Please little girl? I don’t want to let you go either. If I could, I would walk around with you like this for the rest of our lives. But people might throw us some weird looks if we try that, don’t you think?”

Max nodded into her neck, “But mommy?”

“What is it sweetie?”

“What if… what if I let go and then you’re not here anymore?” Max’s voice wavered, “What if I’m dreaming that you’re here?”

“You’re not dreaming baby. I promise, I’m here. You’re never getting rid of me again.” Maria kissed her head, “We can take little steps first if that makes it easier? I’ll take a step back, but I’ll hold your hands?”

Max laced her fingers with Maria’s, “One step back, no more.”

“One step.” Maria agreed with a squeeze of her hands, “Ready?”

Max sighed deeply, “Fine.”

Maria matched her sigh, she was almost afraid to take that step back. Because what if? What if she was the one dreaming, not Max?

“Okay, here we go.” Maria warned in a whisper. A mental countdown matching her frantic heartbeat, she bit the proverbial bullet.

It was a tiny step, probably not even worth the name ‘step’. It was more like a little shuffle backwards. But it felt like an entire world crept into that small space between them.

Maria was grateful for the steadying presence of Max’s hands in her own. If it wasn’t for that contact, Maria herself might have rushed back into the girl’s arms.

“See?” Her own voice was unsteady, “I’m still here Tiny. I’ll always be here for you.”

Max nodded, roughly wiping at her red eyes with the back of her hand, still laced with Maria’s.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me Max, we’re family. This is what we do for each other.” Maria whispered with a kiss to the her cheek, “Now I really think you should sleep darling.”

“You need to sleep too mommy.”

Maria chuckled, “You just want to snuggle, don’t you?”

“Yes please.” Max flashed her the tiniest grin and Maria just couldn’t say no that.

It took a bit maneuvering, but eventually Maria found a position that seemed acceptable for her grumpy teen.

She had propped herself up against the very uncomfortable pillows, with Max settled against her chest just so that the girl could keep an eye on Natasha without putting too much pressure on her own sore body.

“Comfy?” Maria asked with her arms already wrapping around Max instinctively.

“Very.” Max admitted quietly, “I’ll sleep if you don’t move.”

“I won’t move unless I really _really_ have to.”

Max nodded, “I suppose I can live with that.”

“Now sleep Tiny.” She kissed the girl’s head, “I’ll watch Natasha for you.”

It didn’t take long at all for Max to pass out, the girl sprawled out on top of her so Maria couldn’t move. Not that she wanted to.

Max’s presence was incredibly grounding for Maria. Taking care of the teenager gave her a sense of purpose, it was something she could _do_. Finally. For the first time in days, she could _do_ something. She didn’t feel so utterly useless as she did when she was just sitting there staring at Natasha.

It also helped to be with family, she thought. Maria squeezed the girl a little closer. That’s what they were now. A family. Never ever ever had she thought of creating a family in this way, but there was no denying it. When Natasha got back on her feet, which she had to, she had to wake up, they would take Max home with them. There was no other option for Maria.

There was no way of telling how long it would take or how it would happen, but Maria swore she would give Max the life she deserved. With curfews and awkward crushes and breaking rules and being grounded and an overload of kisses and cuddles and love.

With two moms. _Two_. Because no matter what, Natasha had to be there. She had to.

The thoughts brought tears to Maria’s eyes. What was she going to do if her wife didn’t wake up? How would she tell their girl?

A soft knock on the door made Maria look up. Apparently it was a day for constant interruptions of their breakdowns.

“Hi Nadya.”

“Good afternoon Commander.” The newest doctor on Natasha’s case was all smiles when she stepped inside. Maria had to admit that she liked the woman, her vibrant character made the room seem a little less dead.

“Who’s that?” She pointed at the girl in Maria’s arms.

“Max. She’s… uh… family.”

Nadya nodded, “Is she authorized to be here?”

“I authorized it.”

“Okidoki then.” Nadya smiled widely, “So, let’s check Natasha out, shall we? I have to say her last scan looked very good.”

“Yeah?” Maria couldn’t help the little flicker of hope in the pit of her stomach.

“Absolutely!” Nadya was shining lights in Natasha’s eyes and doing all the other doctor-y stuff Maria had seen all week, “The swelling has almost completely disappeared. Now that doesn’t mean all is well, but it does mean that her brain is still recovering. It means that, you know, everything still seems to work as it should.”

“That’s good! Right?”

“Very good.” The doctor agreed, “In fact, I’m going to come back in a bit with the other doctors, because I think we can start thinking about letting her out of the medical coma.”

Maria couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. It didn’t mean anything yet. The doctors told her constantly that even without the drugs, Natasha might not wake up. But it was a first step. And it was a bit of good news. Something that Maria, and Max, desperately needed.

She barely found the words to say bye to the doctor when she left the room, Maria was so overwhelmed. Everything seemed to be happening all at once. Max and now Natasha and god, Maria hoped that this wasn’t a forebode to the rest of their lives together. Because if this rollercoaster continued, she would be grey by the time she turned 35.

But at the same time, she felt weirdly calm. Because though everything might be moving, it all moved forward. It all moved into the same direction. And it was a good direction.

Maria felt hopeful.

For the first time in so so long, Maria fell asleep with a smile on her face.

“Maria?”

Sharon Carter decided she needed to add to the pile of everything that had already happened.

Maria sighed and wiped the sleep from her eyes.

“Sharon? How are you?”

“Sore.” Sharon glared at the sleeping child, “Should have known that girl was trouble.”

“Sharon.”

“I’ll suck it up.” The blonde conceded with a rueful smile, “That’s not what I’m here for though. Fury has been going through the files of that bogus CIA place. He has something you need to see.”

“I’m a bit stuck here.” Maria said with a chuckle.

Sharon didn’t return her smile at all, “Maria. You really need to see this. I’m not asking you to come to your office, but at least talk to me in the hallway.”

“But the kid…”

“You don’t want her to hear this from me.” Sharon responded, “Maria I wouldn’t ask you this if I didn’t need to.”

Her careful joy for Natasha’s wellbeing was replaced with concern for their girl, “Wait outside for me.”

Sharon nodded and left her to wake Max up.

“Honey? Honey, I’m sorry but you need to wake up.” Maria shook her gently.

Max sat up with a start, “Mama?”

“No baby girl, mama is alright.” Maria soothed her, she could almost feel Max’s pounding heart against her, “I have to talk to Sharon.”

Max’s eyes filled with tears the second the words left her mouth.

“No, no honey, don’t cry!” She wrapped her arms around the girl, “Don’t cry sweetie, don’t cry. I’ll be right back. I won’t be gone long. We’ll be just around the corner, if you yell I’ll hear you.”

“But mommy!”

“Max please. If I didn’t have to, I’d stay right here with you. You have to understand this.”

Max sniffled, “But you promised mommy.”

Maria swallowed, “I did, but honey, Sharon has information on you. They found something in the files we took from that place where they kept you. She wants to tell me first, so I can tell you.”

Max nodded, and to Maria’s surprise, the girl planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek, “I trust you.”

Maria smiled widely at the gesture. That girl just had a way with her heart.

“I trust you too honey. You watch mama for me, okay? And when I come back, I have some good news for you.”

Max returned the smile, “What is it?”

“I’ll say when I come back, Sharon is waiting.” Maria kissed her cheek and slid of the bed, “I’ll be right back honey.”

She couldn’t get out of the room fast enough, because the sooner she was done with Sharon, the sooner she’d be back with Max and Nattie.

“You have five minutes, and not a second longer.” Maria said as soon as she saw the blonde, “My baby is waiting and she doesn’t like to wait.”

“She gets that from her mother.” Sharon commented with a smirk, “Both of them.”

Maria rolled her eyes at her friend, but a smile danced on her lips, “Talk Sharon.”

“Fury found files about Max. Most of the documents just talk about the kid as a tool, but these are specifically about her.” Sharon pushed a manila folder in Maria’s hands, “How they trained her, everything she had to do, it’s all documented.”

“That’s in this file?” Maria lifted the papers skeptically, it seemed too light.

“No, Fury bumped those security clearances up so high that only you and him can read them. I think that kid’s training just became SHIELD’s most guarded secret. That file is personal details.” Sharon shrugged, “I didn’t open it, but that is supposed to be something like her birth certificate. It’s not a life changing file, but we both agreed that those papers need to go to the kid.”

Suddenly the file felt a lot heavier in Maria’s hands.

“Birth certificate?” She repeated, “Like… with her real parents?”

Sharon shook her head, “No, I didn’t read it but Fury did, he said it was like a birth certificate, but not a real one. Just some information on where they got her and when. Fury said she’s alone, she doesn’t have any family.”

Maria ran her free hand through her hair, she didn’t know if she felt relief or sadness, “Fucking shit everything.”

“I know. Look, if there’s anything…” A loud screech interrupted whatever Sharon wanted to say.

“MOMMY! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

Her heart jumped at the panicky screams and Maria rushed back into Natasha’s room.

Max was clinging to Natasha’s bed, no doubt hurting herself by hanging on so tight. Two doctors were trying to pull her away from the bed, with a few other doctors and nurses just standing around watching it all happen.

“Everybody! Quiet now!” Maria shouted over the commotion, “Leave the girl alone!”

The doctors wisely stepped away at the sight of a furious deputy director.

“We caught her here.” One of the nurses spoke up, “She doesn’t have a badge or anything. She was going to hurt agent Romanoff.”

Maria glared at him, “Shut up. Your stupid is giving me a headache. I’m supposed to trust you lot with the life of my wife? Don’t you have eyes? That’s a child! A very obviously hurt child!” She turned her attention on Max, “Honey, are you okay? Come here sweetheart.”

Max rushed into her open arms, “You’re not allowed to leave again. Never. I don’t care if we look stupid. You’re not going anywhere without me now.”

“Okay, okay honey, we’re sticking together.” Maria agreed instantly, she wasn’t planning on leaving the room again.

“She can’t stay in the medical section without the proper clearance.” Someone said, “She needs a badge.”

Maria send him a deathglare, but then turned to Sharon.

“Get her a badge. Full access to the medbay, cafeteria, my quarters and my office.” She ordered, “Do it now.”

Sharon nodded, “What name do I put on it?”

“Max, of course.”

“No Maria, I need…” Sharon bit her lip, unsure, “I need a last name, for the badge.”

“A last name?” Maria looked down at the girl clinging tightly to her, and then to her wife. The girl needed a last name. Even if it was just temporary for the stupid badge, Maria still felt like she was making a big decision. She wished she could talk to Nat first, though she knew her redhead would call her an idiot for thinking so long about it.

She thought about Natasha’s green eyes that shone so brightly when she laughed and the way Max’s tongue would stick out of her mouth when she concentrated too hard on their chess game.

She knew all those things, because they were family. The three of them. Together.

“Hill. Her name is Max Hill.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of an apology for breaking your hearts again and again and again :-P you can still come and cry in the comments though :-P


	32. Chapter 32

Max was comfortably snuggled with Maria in the large chair. It was a bit awkward, two people squished together like that in the recliner, but Max had fixed that by crawling mostly on top of Maria. Her brandnew badge was proudly pinned onto Natasha’s sweater.

Well, it started as Maria’s favorite comfy hockey sweatshirt, but then a certain redhead had claimed it as her own and now it seemed like the worn piece of cloth had found a new owner in their girl. The sweater was almost comically big on Max and Maria had already joked that they could use it as a tent on the next camping trip.

Max had teared up at the promise of camping with her moms and everything that made Max cry automatically made Maria cry, so they spent a nice few hours plotting future vacations and then crying their hearts out about them.

They were happy tears though, tears of excitement, but also a little uncertainty. Because Natasha still wasn’t out of the woods yet.

It had been a couple of days since “the badge incident”, which also happened to be the day that the doctors finally took Natasha off the medication that kept her knocked out.

It was a relief to see some of the tubes and machines go, but now, every second that Natasha didn’t open her eyes seemed so much worse. Because before they could blame it all on the medication, they could make themselves believe that Nat was just drugged. But when the drugs went, they were all just trapped into a waiting game, with no way of knowing when it would be over.

“Mom? Can I ask a question?”

Maria startled at the soft voice, the long silence between them made her think that Max had fallen asleep.

“Sure Tiny, ask away.”

“Why did you kill him?”

“Kill who?” Maria didn’t need to ask, not really, but she did instinctively. There was a childish hope inside of her telling that maybe Max was talking about something completely different.

“ _Him_.” Max repeated, and it occurred to Maria that maybe she didn’t even know his name.

“I didn’t kill him…”

“You ordered agents to blow him to bits mom, same difference.” Max deadpanned, “I’m not upset, I just want to why.”

Maria shrugged, “Because. I couldn’t just hand him over to local authorities. Imagine what would happen if the media found out about you.”

Max turned in her arms, her piercing green eyes staring sternly at her, “SHIELD has prisons. You could have locked him away without anyone finding out.”

“I…” Maria didn’t know what to say, the truth sounded like a good option, “I would do it again if I had to Max. I was upset, but I didn’t make a mistake giving that order and I do not regret it.”

“That’s still not what I asked mom. _Why_ did you do it?”

Maria sighed at her insistence, it reminded her too much of Natasha.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me mom!” Max warned with a little smirk, “I want to know whyyyyy.”

“Because he goddamned put his filthy hands on you!” Maria could feel the frustration bubbling up again at the thought of what he had done to Max, “I… that man…”

Maria clenched her fists remembering all the what she had seen when they burst into that building. Her wife dying, the kid screaming. And he was just laughing at it all.

“It’s okay mommy.” Maria hadn’t noticed she was crying until Max wiped her tears away, “He was going to kill mama. You did the right thing.”

“It wasn’t about Nat… well, a little… I didn’t do it for her, I wasn’t so angry about her. I was angry for what he did to you. I killed him for touching you.”

Max was silent for a bit.

“I’m sorry?” Maria tried, she didn’t really know what the protocol was for killing someone’s abuser.

“I… I feel a bit awkward about it…” Max admitted quietly, “He… he wasn’t nice… but sometimes…”

“He was all you had.”

“Yeah… I have you now and Natasha… but… that’s the guy that taught me everything.” Max shrugged, “Even if it was all very fucked up.”

“I think I understand what you mean Tiny.” Maria offered, “Mama went through the same stuff with the Red Room. She had a very hard time adjusting to life here…”

“Mommy? Can I say something weird?”

“Nothing you say is weird honey.” Maria smiled.

Max shuffled and moved until she sat completely on Maria’s lap, nose to nose with her mom.

“I kinda wish you hadn’t killed him. I have so many questions for him.”

Maria was taken aback by the girl. There was no anger in her eyes, only honesty. She really believed that Max didn’t blame her for making the decision she did.

“I… I have the file.” Maria offered, “I know it’s not the same, but…”

“It’s okay mom. If you hadn’t done it, I would have killed him for hurting mama.” Max shrugged as if it was the most normal answer in the world, “I don’t want the file.”

The file had become Max’s nemesis ever since Maria gave it to her. She hadn’t read it, thinking that the girl was old enough to decide what and when she wanted to know. But for some reason, Max refused to even take the papers in hand. No matter what Maria said or asked, Max didn’t budge.

She would not read the file.

“Honey, I really think we should talk about that.”

“Mommy, I really think we should not.” Max mocked her with a sigh, “I don’t want to know that.”

“Then what do you want to know?” Maria asked, “Because one second you have questions but when I offer you answers, suddenly you don’t want to know anymore Max. You’re being very difficult about this.”

Max glared a little, “Maybe you are the difficult one. I don’t want the file, because I know _what_ he did to me. I don’t know _why_ he did it. And that is all I want to know.”

Maria wrapped her arms around the girl, even if she threw her a dirty look, “Alright, maybe I can help with that baby. If you really want to know.”

“I do.” Max nodded, “I want to know mom.”

Maria pulled her close so they could snuggle, “So, the man, his name is Gérard Michaud. He used to be a CIA agent, a very good one too. I always hated him though.”

“You knew him?”

“Yeah, he was a creep. He was a bigshot when we recruited Natasha. Of course, the idea of children being used the way Natasha was used, it went around. You can’t keep a thing like that secret.” Maria sighed, “Michaud got obsessed with it. The CIA fired him because he couldn’t let it go. But at that point, he already had you. So that’s why. He wanted to create a Black Widow program.”

“That’s… a little anticlimactic.”

Maria couldn’t help the chuckle, “What had you expected then Tiny?”

“I don’t know,” Max grinned, “Some epic tale about me being earth’s only hope. Maybe I could be an alien or something. More than just… you know… a knock-off Natasha.”

“You’re not alien honey.” Maria kissed her cheek, “And you’re definitely not a knock-off. You’re your own person now. You can be whatever you want.”

Max’s eyes twinkled with what Maria could only describe as mischief, “Can I be a SHIELD agent?”

“Hell no.”

“But moooooom!” Max laughed through her whine, and Maria couldn’t help but join in.

“Nope honey, I’m not worrying about two of you.” Sitting in medical with Natasha was the worst thing that had ever happened to her, if she ever had to sit there because of Max…

“I have to worry about two of you.” Max countered, “It’d be only fair. Besides, what else am I going to do?”

“We’ll talk about this again when your mama is awake to kick your ass.”

 

* * *

 

“I come _bearing_ gifts!”

“What the hell is that?!”

Clint grinned widely, the twinkle in his eyes made Maria want to bang her head against the wall.

“It’s a teddy bear!”

“You sure it’s not an _actual_ bear?” Max raised an eyebrow at the enormous stuffed creature in his arms. Honestly, it was almost as tall as Max.

“Shush you.” Clint said fondly, “Laura also made lasagna for you ladies, you just need to microwave it. I promise it’s a lot better than cafeteria food.”

“Oh gimme gimme gimme.” Maria didn’t care how stupid she looked as she snatched the container from Clint’s hands. Laura’s cooking was legendary.

“You’re not putting that bear on mama’s bed.” Max frowned, “That thing could suffocate her.”

“It’s not for Na… your mama.” Clint shoved the bear in the girl’s direction, “It’s for you!”

The shocked and slightly frightened look on Max’s face almost made Maria crack up.

“Me?” Max looked skeptical, “What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Uh… it’s a teddy bear, you cuddle it?”

Max cocked her head, “Aren’t I too old for that?”

“I don’t know? How old are you?”

“How should I know?” The girl shrugged, still glaring at the stuffed bear. Maria thought it was cute how Max seemed to study the bear like it was going to attack her.

“Uh…” Clint shuffled from foot to foot, uncomfortable under Max’s scrutiny, “Just… I thought it would be nice… you’re always cuddling Maria… I thought it could help.”

“Help?”

“Well… yeah… when Maria has to go or something… you’ll have something to cuddle with.” Clint mumbled, “It’s stupid…”

But Max reached out and took the giant bear from him.

“It’s really for me?”

Clint nodded.

“It’s so soft…” Max whispered, running her hands over the bear, “I… thank you Clint.”

Maria smiled wide and Clint let out a sigh of relief.

“What are you going to name him?” Maria asked.

“Oh… a name?” Max seemed completely in awe of the bear in her arms, “I don’t know… I’ll have to think about that.”

She ignored both adults and dragged her bear to go sit with Natasha.

Clint chuckled, “Quite the family you have Commander.”

“Hmmm, it’s pretty awesome.”

“ _Mom_ ria, _Ma_ tasha and a tiny little Hill.”

“I will kill you Barton.”

 

* * *

 

“I’ve decided to name him Marshmallow.”

Maria cracked an eye open, ready to start grumbling about being woken up for marshmallows. But to her surprise Max wasn’t next to her.

Max wasn’t even on the bed at all.

“I don’t really know what to do with him. Clint says I need to cuddle Marshmallow instead of mom.” Max sat next to Natasha, talking to her.

Maria closed her eyes again, pretending to be asleep. If their girl needed to talk to Natasha, she would give them all the privacy they needed.

“I haven’t been too good for her. I cry too much.” Max sighed sadly, “It’s just not easy.”

It was hard, hearing that Max thought like that. Maria kept quiet, she didn’t want to eavesdrop but maybe she could learn some new things about Max.

“She’s been having a hard time you know. With you… like this… Mommy is strong but not this strong. You need to come back to us. The doctor said you can now. You can wake up now. Please mama?”

Maria wanted nothing more than to leave the bed and wrap her arms around Max. Her baby was hurting so much, but still she kept looking out for her mom. It was beautiful but heartbreaking at the same time.

“I miss you. And mom misses you too. She worries. It’s because she loves you.” Max paused with a deep sigh, “And I’m kinda starting to understand that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they just adorable? :-D


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your tears in the comments ;-) Muhahahaaaa :-D

 

“You don’t talk to her.”

Maria looked up from her book with a frown. Max stared at her expectantly. It was a completely ridiculous sight, Max staring so seriously, cuddled on top of Clint’s giant bear.

“Talk to whom?”

“Mama.” Max’s piercing green eyes were on her. The girl had that look, a way of watching her that made it seem like she could see everything Maria ever had to hide. Like she could see right through her.

“Well, do you talk to her?” Maria questioned. She knew the answer, but still. Max didn’t know she knew. And she didn’t want her to know that she had, be it accidentally, invaded a private moment between her and Natasha.

Max rolled her eyes at her, a little grin playing at her lips, “You snore.”

“I what?” Maria was thrown by the apparent change in subject.

“You snore. When you sleep. Very softly. It’s more like loud breathing.” Max smiled widely now, “I always know when you’re awake or not. _Always_.”

There was a raised eyebrow and a cocky smirk and for a second, Maria thought she was looking right at her wife. That rude ‘I’m better than you’ attitude paired with an arrogant pride, it all screamed Natasha.

“I didn’t mean to listen in. I just woke up and then I didn’t want to interrupt you.” Maria couldn’t help the blush coloring her cheeks, she felt like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She felt like the rookie agents caught under her glare, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m not hiding anything. I knew you were awake, I could have stopped talking.” Max shrugged, “But you still didn’t answer my question. Why don’t you talk to her? Doctor said she might hear us.”

Maria didn’t know what to say, so she just put her book aside and opened her arms, waiting for Max to come rushing to her.

“You can’t keep distracting me with cuddles.” The girl chuckled, _after_ she had buried herself into Maria’s embrace.

“I’m not distracting you, I’m distracting me.” Maria sighed, “Tiny… I just don’t want to do it, okay?”

“I guess… I just don’t understand. You miss her. And I know she misses you too.” Max made it all sound so easy and logical, “I think it would do you both good.”

Maria cursed how sensible the child was, “You sure you’re just a teenager, Yoda?”

“Firstly, no I’m not sure, but I probably am.” Maria felt a little pang of guilt at reminding Max of her lack of age, “Second, what is a yoda?”

“Yoda? Oh honey, have you never seen Star Wars?” She couldn’t believe it, there were actually still people in this world who hadn’t seen Star Wars?

Max raised an eyebrow, “Of course I have, my good friends the guards brought movies over for us to watch together. And then after, we braided each other’s hair and talked about boys while painting our toenails.” Sarcasm dripped from her words, “Oh and let’s not forget the pillow fights!”

Maria rolled her eyes, “Alright honey, point made. We have the movies at home, we can watch them together.”

She could feel Max huff against her neck, “Mom. We’re not talking about movies. We’re talking about you refusing to talk to mama. Stop trying to change the subject.”

“I’m not refusing to talk to her.” Maria replied indignantly, “I’m just… not talking to her. Max, come on.” She sighed deeply, “I feel awkward about it, okay? Just let it go. We can talk all we want when she wakes up.”

“But mom!” Maria didn’t think she’d ever get used to the way Max would huff that word so casually, like a petulant child. Like it was something she had always said. “What if she doesn’t even know you’re here? Huh? What if she’s not waking up because she thinks she’s alone.”

Maria wanted to roll her eyes, call the girl ridiculous. But Max’s face was nothing if not dead serious.

“Fine, I’ll start talking to her.” Maria had to concede. She knew it wouldn’t make a difference for Natasha, but their girl seemed so convinced it could help her mama, and Maria just couldn’t refuse her.

She didn’t want to admit that she felt a secret flare of hope. That maybe, if she told Nat she wasn’t mad anymore, Natasha would come back to them. The Deputy Director knew it was stupid and childish and so much more. But the wife in her so desperately wanted to believe Max.

Max grinned widely at her, “Thanks mommy.”

Maria kissed her head and let herself sink back into the chair, picking up her book again. It took her a second to find her line on the page, but before she could get back into her rhythm, Max cleared her throat.

“Ahem… Mommy?”

“What is it sweetheart?”

“Aren’t you going to talk to mama?”

Now it was Maria who turned a little unsure, “What? Now?”

“Why not?”

“I… I don’t know, I just…” Maria didn’t know what to do. Max was looking at her like she expected the world from her, but Maria had trouble finding her words.

“Just talk to her.” Max slipped off her lap, “Take her hand and talk to her. You’ve spoken with her before, you know.”

Maria wasn’t sure why she was so reluctant to do what Max asked of her, but the girl grabbed her hand and tugged it over to Natasha’s, she didn’t have a choice in the matter.

She tenderly cradled Natasha’s hand in her own, careful not to hurt her. It felt so good to hold her, so right. Maria didn’t really want to say it, but she was afraid to reach out and touch her. There was this little fear in her head, she always expected Natasha to feel cold. Dead.

But she never did. Her hands were warm and soft, as if she was just sleeping.

“Well?” Max encouraged quietly, “Talk to her.”

“Tiny, I don’t know… what do I even say?”

Max shrugged, “Hello? I miss you? Tell her about your day? I don’t know mom, just let her know you’re here.”

Maria took a deep breath. She didn’t want to do this, not at all. But Maxie was staring at her, so hopeful. And Maria realized why it was so important to her.

She was the same with Max, she would do anything to make this better, anything that could make her girl feel better. Her baby was just trying to take care of her, trying to make her happy.

So she would try, for Max.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

They had gotten used to Natasha’s heartbeat filling the room. Maria barely heard it anymore. But now the beep was pounding through her head.

“Uh, hey Nattie…” Maria bit her lip, “I, uh, I miss you…”

She cast a glance at Max, who gave her a smile and a thumbs up.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

“I… I…” She didn’t know what to say. And it frustrated her that it didn’t really matter what she would say. Because Natasha wouldn’t miraculously wake up.

They didn’t live in a Disney world, a kiss or true love wouldn’t make a difference. It wouldn’t do anything.

All she could do was talk and watch as her wife didn’t answer.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

“I can’t do this Max. I can’t.” Maria didn’t mean to sound so… defeated.

“You didn’t even try mom! Come on! There’s so much you can tell her! Tell her about your book! Or about Clint! She likes Clint!” Max started rambling, “Come on mom! Try! You’re not trying!”

“Max! Stop it!” She had stayed strong for the girl, she had tried to be the rock she needed, but that strong front was collapsing, “She’s not going to wake up from talking!”

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Max looked hurt, but Maria couldn’t keep her emotions to herself anymore.

“I’m not angry at you Maxie, but you have to understand!” Maria could feel the tears stream down her face, “It hurts! I can’t do it! I can’t talk to her and just not get an answer! If I’m silent, if I don’t talk to her, I can pretend that she’s just sleeping! But I can’t do this… I can’t…”

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

“I can’t do this without her Max! You… I can’t do _anything_ without her!” She was desperate to make their girl understand, “I… We have to raise you Max! Fucking hell, I can’t do that without her! I can’t… I need her! That’s my wife! I feel like I can’t even fucking breath without her!”

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

“But mommy…”

“No! No buts Tiny. I can’t talk to her like this, I can’t! It hurts too much!”

Her head was hurting from frowning so much, her eyes hurt from crying, her throat hurt from the sobs, just _everything_ hurt so much.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

“But you love her!” Max shouted in frustration.

“And I love you too! But that doesn’t change how much it hurts to see my wife like this!”

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep._

Max stared at her a little wide-eyed.

“What’s that?”

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep._

“I don’t know.” Maria whispered, “It’s her heart. It’s beating faster.”

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep._


	34. Chapter 34

There they were. Supposedly super spies, with a skillset so well developed they could keep up with superhumans and gods.

And there they were, staring dumbly at the machine that monitored Natasha’s heartbeat.

They were both frozen in their panic, they couldn’t do anything but stand there as the machine beeped away.

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep._

“What do we do?!” Max’s voice was a few octaves higher than normal.

“Doctor! We need a doctor!” Maria came back to herself and hurried to push their panic button.

Within seconds a nurse rushed in, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know!” Marie was beside herself, “One minute she’s normal and the next that machine starts beeping like crazy! What is happening?!”

“Alright, alright, calm down.” The nurse was steady, talking softly to the both of them, “This is actually really normal. But I’ll call a doctor anyway, okay? But really, this is nothing to worry about.”

“Is she waking up?” Max piped up behind Maria, unsure and hopeful.

The nurse grimaced apologetically, “She’s probably just dreaming. But it’s a good development.” She added quickly when she saw their faces fall.

“I’m going to get a doctor. Her heartbeat will even out any second now.”

The nurse left them in their silence.

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beepbeep._

Maria felt like the machine just kept beeping louder and louder at them, drowning out all other sounds around her.

Natasha was just dreaming. Not waking up.

_Beepbeep. Beepbeep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Just like that, Natasha heartbeat returned to the normal annoyingly slow beeps. It crushed Maria.

“You did that.” Max grumbled harshly, stepping away from her.

“I did what?”

“You scared her! That’s why her heart was beating so fast!” The girl accused, “You know she hates it when you yell!”

Maria sighed at the fuming teen. She was just so tired.

“I don’t want to fight honey. Let’s just wait until the doctor gets here, okay?”

“No! Not okay! You scared her!” Max screamed, her face turning red from anger and tears streaking her cheeks, “Why are you like this?! What is wrong with you?!”

“Max I didn’t do anything. You need to calm down baby girl.” Maria tried to sooth her, but Max slapped her hands away.

“Max!”

“It’s like you don’t want her to wake up! You don’t want her to wake up!”

“Don’t be stupid Max!” Maria snapped.

She knew Max was hurting just as much as she was, that the emotions were overwhelming the little girl. But Maria was overwhelmed too. And she just wasn’t strong enough to take it.

Max was crying, “That’s it right?! Like you said, you don’t want to raise me on your own! And you don’t want mama to wake up! So you don’t want me! You don’t want me!”

“Are you crazy?” Maria gasped, “Max! For god’s sake! I love you!”

“But…”

“But nothing! I love you!”

Max seemed nailed to the floor, mouth wide open and a deep frown on her face. She was shaking her head, trying to get her mind wrapped around the situation.

“Honey, come here.” Maria reached out to her and Max stumbled into her arms, “You’re my baby girl, my sweetie. I love you.”

Maria held her close to her chest, one arm tightly wrapped around her, the other brushing through Max’s hair.

“You hear me baby? I love you. And I know mama loves you too, she might not say it, but I saw how she looks at you. You’re our special girl.” Maria soothed her with kisses and hushed words of love.

“Mommy.” Max whimpered brokenly against her.

“I’m here baby, I’m here. Mommy is here sweetheart. I love you so much little girl. I’m sorry you didn’t know that.”

“I’m sorry mommy. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay honey, it’s okay. We all get angry sometimes. I understand.” Maria smiled at her, “You have a bit of a temper, so what? I swear, your mama is so much worse.”

Max chuckled softly against her, “You have a bit of a temper too mommy.”

“I guess that’s true.” Maria smiled, “You fit right in with us then, Max Romanoff-Hill.”

“Romanoff-Hill? How long was I out?”

A pained groaned behind them broke them apart.

“Natasha?” “Mama!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not evil! :-D Click next chapter! Quickly! And don't forget to cry in the comments ;-)


	35. Chapter 35

Her head was pounding. No, not exactly pounding. It was more a stabbing pain, like someone was shoving a knife in and out of her skull.

There was screaming, yelling. She didn’t know what was happening, only that it hurt. Everything hurt.

What had happened? Where was she?

Her memories were scrambled and fuzzy, pain and tiredness made everything just blur into one giant auwie. Even thinking was too much.

She’d been hurt before, but never like this. This was bad. Was she dead?

She couldn’t be dead, could she? Panic overtook her. She had so much stuff left to do. Like… Like… she couldn’t think of a single thing.

_“Don’t be stupid Max!”_

Max! Yes! She remembered the girl. Kind of. The little assassin right? She… She… Her mind hurt. She couldn’t remember anything, the pain blocked the images from her mind.

_“So you don’t want me! You don’t want me!”_

Max. Max was crying. She had to do something. She had to help her.

Help her.

She remembered! She had rushed into that site. To help Max. But it had gone to shit. Someone hit her. That must have been it. That must be the pain.

Pain was good, no? It meant that maybe she still lived.

What if she was dead? Oh, Maria. She couldn’t leave Maria. She didn’t want to leave Maria. No, she couldn’t die. She would miss Maria too much.

Everything turned quiet. Everything but the pounding in her head. It was like her brain was trying to fight its way out of her skull, and using a jackhammer to do so.

But she could feel other people around her. Someone was around her. She had to do something.

It hurt so much, but she tried opening her eyes. Light flooded her vision, making her shut them immediately. Not a good idea. That _hurt_.

She tried again, she didn’t have a choice. She’d take the pain every day if it meant seeing Maria again.

She had to try. For Maria.

The lights made her cringe. It was like they set her already sore brain on fire. But she had to hang on. She wasn’t giving up.

_“You fit right in with us then, Max Romanoff-Hill.”_

Her eyes really opened when she heard that.

Vaguely, she could make out two blurry figures hugging. _God it hurt._

“Romanoff-Hill? How long was I out?”

Her voice cracked, like she hadn’t spoken in ages, and the sound made her head hurt.

But not as much as the surprised yells from the people rushing to her. She had to close her eyes again, the pain was just too much.

“Natasha!”

“Shh please. That hurts.” She was whimpering like a child, but the loud voices made her cringe in pain, “Lights off please.”

“The lights are off.” The people around her started whispering, and Natasha was pretty bloody grateful for that, “That’s the sun honey.”

“Turn the sun off.”

She heard a teary chuckle, “Natasha… Honey…”

She knew that voice. She loved that voice.

“M’ria.” Natasha wanted to reach out to her. She needed to feel her, touch her. Convince herself that Maria was really there.

But pain shook her entire body. It wasn’t just her head that hurt. It was everything. Every fiber of her being was screaming in agony. And she was screaming out right with it.

“No, no, honey don’t move. You’re hurt.” Maria whispered, and she felt soft fingertips stroking her face, “You’re hurt honey. I’m going to call a doctor okay?”

The touch left her body, and Natasha so desperately wanted to grab her hand, to keep her close, but she just couldn’t move. The pain was starting to overwhelm her.

It was getting hard to stay there. To keep her mind present. But she didn’t want to slip away. Not without some answers.

“No, don’t go. Tell me. Wha-What happened?”

“Shhh baby, it’s okay.” Maria soothed her, “Max is getting the doctor, okay? You got hurt. But it’s going to fine okay.”

Natasha could fall asleep like that, Maria’s hands on her, her loving soft voice calming her down. This must be what heaven felt like.

“Nattie, baby, stay awake a bit. I don’t want the doctor to think we’ve gone crazy.”

“Maria…”

“I’m here. I’m here.” Maria was breathing heavily and Natasha knew she must be crying.

“Max?”

“Grumpy, overwhelmed. But physically, just fine. You did it Natasha. You saved her.”

“I don’t remember.”

“I’ll tell you all about it when you’re better. Nattie, I missed you so much.”

Natasha wished she could smile, but even those muscles hurt, “Missed you too.”

There was more sound, more movement.

“Your doctor is here.”

“Hello agent Romanoff. I see you’ve woken up?” The doctor was entirely too cheerful, “I’m Nadya. Can you tell me how you feel?”

“Hurts.”

“Well, I can tell you that you are doing very well. On a scale from one to ten, how bad is the pain?”

“Eight.” Even talking hurt.

“Alright, then I’m just going to increase your painmedication for now. You’ll start to feel drowsy, and then you’re just going to sleep again. We’ll run all the necessary tests later.”

Natasha wanted to nod, grateful she could go back to sleep.

“No!”

The loud sound made her flinch.

“Max, don’t honey. She needs to sleep to get better.”

“Max, come here.” Natasha put all her energy into calling the girl to her.

“You can’t go to sleep. You just woke up.” She could hear the pain in the girl’s voice and it hurt more than the physical pain.

“I’ll wake up again.”

Max huffed, “You’ll wake up every four hours. Not a second later. Promise me, mama.”

“Mama?”

“Yes. Mama. Deal with it.”

“I… I promise. I’ll wake up.”

“I’m going to give you those painkillers now, you’ll go right to sleep.”

But Natasha remembered something. Something she had heard.

“Max, honey, keep telling me about Marshmallow?”


	36. Chapter 36

Her mom fell asleep a while ago, but Max couldn’t seem to stop pacing. She wasn’t calm enough to sit down.

Natasha had woken up, and Max could just see the weight fall off her mom’s shoulders. And Maria had pretty much fallen asleep right away, like she was able to relax for the first time.

But Max couldn’t. There was still too much going on. Her mind felt completely scrambled.

With everything that had happened over the last few weeks, Max was tired. She just wanted to lay down, close her eyes and keep them closed until the mess stopped. Until it was all over and she could go home.

_Home._

She never had a home, but that was all she could think about. She had a cell, never a room. But with Maria and Natasha, it seemed like she suddenly had everything.

Maria and Natasha. Mommy and mama.

It went against everything she had been taught. Family was supposed to be a weakness, not something she should envy. Max never wanted one. She wasn’t allowed to want.

But now… she had practically forced the women into becoming her parents. She had disobeyed basically every rule _he_ had ever come up with.

And the world hadn’t come to an end. Max hadn’t changed. She was still too smart for her own good, still strong too strong for her height, she could still kill a grown man with her bare hands.

But she didn’t have to. She didn’t have to do anything.

There were no orders to follow, no expectations. The only thing she needed to do, was be there when Maria woke up again. Not because Maria would punish her if she wasn’t in the room. But because the woman would be _worried_. About her.

It was unnatural almost. She had always been alone. And she had done great on her own. Well, if she didn’t count the murders and all that.

But Maria, and Natasha by extension, they just… they were there. They were with her. Natasha practically almost died because of her. And still. Maria took care of her, even when Natasha needed more attention, even when Maria herself was drowning in worry and sadness.

Maria held her like a child. She had never been a child before. She had been a lot of things in her life, but never a child. Physically, yes, but never in spirit, never mentally.

And Max _liked_ it. She liked the warmth of her hugs, how soft Maria felt when she rested her head on her shoulder, she liked it.

There was even a small part of her screaming to wake Maria up so she could hold her again until all the sadness disappeared. But that wouldn’t be fair to her mom.

Maria needed to sleep. She looked like a zombie. If Natasha woke up enough to really see her, she might get scared back into a coma with Maria looking like that.

But Max supposed she herself didn’t look much better.

“Ugh… fuck.”

Natasha’s hazy groan scared the shit out of her.

“Careful.” Max warned quietly, “Mo… Maria is sleeping.”

“Kay.” Natasha’s mumbles were almost too difficult to understand, but Max didn’t mind, she was just happy to hear her voice at all.

“Are you in pain? Do I need to get the doctor?”

Natasha stayed quiet and if it wasn’t for the grimace on her face, Max might have thought she’d fallen asleep again.

“If I keep my eyes closed, it’ll be fine.” Natasha finally decided, “No doctor, don’t want to wake Maria.”

Max nodded, feeling pretty stupid about it because Nat’s eyes were still closed.

“You have a bad concussion.”

Natasha tried to smirk, but groaned trying to move, “Figured that one out already, kid.”

“Yeah…” Max felt a little deflated. She had waited for so long for this moment, for Natasha to be awake again, but now that she was, Max couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her.

“How long was I out?”

“Now? Around five hours. You said you’d wake up after four, but when you didn’t mom wouldn’t let me wake you up.”

Natasha chuckled, but the pain was still too obvious on her face, “Yeah, your mom has a way of spoiling the fun. Next time, you can wake me up. Just don’t touch me. I feel like dead warmed over.”

“That’s kinda how you look too.” Max couldn’t help the teasing dig, but she felt bad when Natasha tried to laugh but winced instead.

“Cracked ribs.” She told Nat.

“That explains a lot.” Natasha groaned, “Maria is sleeping? And you’re not?”

Max grimaced, “Can’t sleep.”

“Come sit with me.”

Max plopped down in the chair, reaching for Natasha’s hand almost on autopilot.

“I’m not hurting you like this, right?”

“It’s fine Мышка.” Max was suddenly grateful that Natasha kept her eyes closed, because the Russian nickname always made her tear up.

“Tell me sweetie, why are you up?”

Max sighed, “I don’t know… there’s a lot going on, I guess.”

Natasha didn’t answer but she knew her mama was just giving her the time to voice her thoughts.

“It’s just… difficult, I think? Or not… it’s not that difficult at all. That’s it, I think? It’s not difficult. I thought it would be. But it’s not and now… I don’t know anymore.”

“Not everything is supposed to be hard Max.” Natasha said, “Sometimes we deserve things to be easy.”

“Do I deserve it though?” There it was. The one thing that kept Max up. That little voice in the back of her head, whispering to her when everything around her turned quiet. Did she deserve this, after everything she did? After every horrible, disgusting thing she did. Did she even deserve to sit here?

“You do.” Natasha’s voice was steady, steadier than she had been since she woke up, “You do.”

“But mom…”

“Mom is an angel and she’s absolutely perfect. And nobody deserves her. So, as long as she thinks we’re worth the effort, we’re just going to pretend as hard as we can that we are worth it. Because we’re the luckiest idiots on this earth. Okay?”

“She said she loves me.”

Natasha laughed at her. Well, tried, because after the first chuckle, her face contorted and it died off in pathetic little coughs.

“Maxie.” Max couldn’t help the smile on her face because Natasha’s voice was soft, so soft she felt like she could snuggle up to it and fall asleep, “Sweetheart, I know how scary that is.”

“I think… she’s the only one… I never heard that before.”

“She’s not the only one honey. But yeah, the first time she told me she loves me, in the middle of dinner. I ran out of her place on my socks. Didn’t talk to her for three weeks, I was so freaked out.”

Max cracked a smile, “How did you fix it?”

“Maria never put up with my shit. She found me and sat on me until I told her what was wrong.”

“She sat on you?”

Natasha nodded, “Your mom is very strong. Remember that kid.”

“You don’t mind…” Max bit her lip, “You don’t mind that I… call her… that?”

“Mom? No Max, it’s… weird, scary, but it’s a good scary. Your way of saying you love us.”

“I don’t love anyone.” Max said immediately, it was a trained response, “I… I don’t know…”

Natasha squeezed her hand, “It’s okay sweetie, you take your time with this. We’ll work it out in the end.”

“You need more sleep.” Max decided when Natasha yawned, “I’ll tell mom you were up?”

“Hmm,” Natasha agreed, “Tell her I love her.”

“You’ll wake up soon? Right?”

“I will honey.” She tried for another smile even though Max could see how much it hurt her. Weirdly, that just made it mean so much more. “You should sleep too Мышка.”

“Mama? Can I sleep here, next to you?”

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making it up to you guys for being a little Satan ;-) Hope you all like it, and don't forget to leave me a comment please :-)


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took so long! This chapter just really didn't want to be written :-/ I'm still not too crazy about how it turned out, but I guess it will do

Maria woke up. Actually woke up. From actually sleeping, not that exhausting half-slumber from the last few weeks, but real sleep.

And she woke up gently, not with a pounding heart, not worried out of her mind that maybe she had missed something, that maybe something had gone horribly wrong.

"You 'wake?" Natasha's weak voice made her shake the last remnants of sleep off. Maria sat up in bed to watch her wife, to give her her full attention. Because she could now. She could give Natasha attention and the redhead could finally respond. It was a magical feeling, one that made Maria break out in a huge grin.

"Hmm, what did I miss?"

"Doctor... Nadya? She came over, gave me some goooood drugs. Helps with the pain. I like her."

“Yeah?” Maria couldn’t resist a smile at Natasha’s slightly dopey expression. She looked like she was on the _really_ good drugs.

“Uhu. She also gave me a list of everything that’s broken. Explains why I feel like a giant bruise.”

“I slept through all that?” Maria wondered how she did that. She always was a heavy sleeper, but sleeping through doctors walking in and out of the room was a bit extreme even by her standards. She must have been exhausted.

“Kid’s still asleep too.” Natasha said, “She’s cute when she sleeps.”

Maria nodded, “Yeah, I’m glad she’s asleep. This whole thing… it was very hard on her…”

“It was hard on you too.” Natasha mumbled.

“But I’m not a child.” Maria shrugged. She knew what she signed up for when she started at SHIELD, when she married an agent. She knew the dangers of their jobs and she agreed to take those chances. Max didn’t get that choice, her baby was just being dragged into this mess without any consent. Maria didn’t like that.

The two women looked at their kid, passed out on the chair with her head cushioned on Natasha’s lap.

“She’s so cute.” Natasha repeated with awe in her voice.

“We… I kinda…” Maria swallowed heavily, “We’re taking her home, right? Because… she belongs with us Natasha. I love her so much and just look at her! She’s meant to be ours, I know it. Natasha, baby, she’s so amazing and I just… I need her in our life, and I know she wants to stay with us and I just…”

“M’ria…” Natasha interrupted her with a pained smile, “She’s ours. We’re taking her home. Might need a bigger place though. Can’t keep her in an apartment, right?”

Maria could have cried then. With Natasha looking at her like that. With everything finally falling into place. There was just one thing at the back of her mind. A doubt. A fear.

“Nat… You know I’m sorry, right?” she barely got the words out, “I… I was so wrong Natasha, so wrong and so horrible to you. I don’t… there’s no excuse. I was just so scared and so angry and it… I’m sorry Natasha, I’m so so sorry.”

“It’s okay… I didn’t handle it well either. I shouldn’t have… I should have gone to you, when I got scared, and I didn’t.” Natasha whispered, “I’m sorry too. But we can… we can still move on, right? Please?”

“Honey, yes, please. Please, we can move past this, I know we can.” Maria couldn’t smile any wider, “I love you Natasha, I love you so much.”

“Love you too.” Natasha smiled, “I’d kiss you, but I can’t really move.”

“Well, maybe I can kiss you?” Maria offered eagerly.

“Be gentle, everything hurts.”

“Anything you need babe, anything.” Maria leaned down, capturing Natasha’s lips in the softest kiss they ever shared, yet it meant more than all their wildest make-outs put together.

“Love you.” Natasha whispered against her lips.

“Love you too Nattie.”

They shared a grin and another soft peck before Maria pulled away.

“How long do I have to stay here?” Natasha asked suddenly.

“Nat!” Maria chuckled, “You can barely stay awake for a few hours, babe. You’re going to be stuck here for a while.”

The redhead tried to sigh deeply, but the deep breath ended in hacking coughs instead.

“And that’s why you’re staying.” Maria teased, “You okay?”

“Ugh, I keep forgetting the ribs.” Natasha moaned sadly, “I’ll be fine.”

Maria cast another look at Max, “How does she sleep through all this?”

“No idea… but god she’s so cute when she sleeps.”

Maria couldn’t decide what the best sight was, Max asleep on Natasha’s thigh, or Natasha’s face as she stared at their little girl.

How their lives had changed…

“She’s always cute though. Just wait until you see her dragging that giant bear around. I can’t believe we were afraid of her once. She’s a little puppy.”

Natasha chuckled softly, “I wouldn’t say that when she’s awake if I were you.”

“Eh.” Maria shrugged, reaching over Natasha to stroke through the girl’s hair, “She’s even cuter when she gets all offended. She’s too perfect.”

“Max Romanoff-Hill…” Natasha whispered softly, “She’s ours. We have a child now.”

“We do.” Maria agreed with a smile, “And she’s perfect.”

“Absolutely perfect.”

“I could stare at her all day.” She admitted, “I can’t… we have a daughter Nat.”

The happiness on Natasha’s face was reflected on her own as they just basked into the knowledge of their new family.

“We’re parents.” Natasha croaked out, overcome with emotion, “Hope we don’t fuck her up.”

“Can’t do any worse than my previous owner.” Max groaned from her spot on her lap.

“Max! You scared the shit out of us!” Maria jumped, “You have to say something when you wake up!”

“I did…” Max grumbled, sitting up and stretching languidly, “And I’m not cute.”

“Yes you are.” Natasha teased, “You’re the cutest.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“Maaaaaaaa!” Max threw her head back with a groan, “I’m not cute!”

“You know sweetie,” Maria interfered, “Whining like that isn’t helping your case at all, you’re adorable when you get grumpy.”

Max sent them a glare, one that had probably terrified many grown men, but it just made Maria chuckle louder.

“Oh come here baby.” She opened her arms for the teenager. Despite all her huffing and grumping Max snuggled into Maria without a thought.

“We’re just making fun of you honey.” Natasha provided.

“Yeah, we love you honey.” Maria agreed with a little kiss, “We love you.”

“Mooooom. Stop saying that. I don’t like it.” Max sulked, “It’s too weird. I don’t know anything about that.”

“About love?” Maria looked at the girl in her arms, “It’s not about knowing Max, it’s about feeling. I… I can’t promise I won’t say it, because you should know it, but I’ll cut back on it okay? Until you’re ready.”

“Deal.”

“Deal?” Natasha piped up, “You freaking _sat_ on me until I loved you back!”

“Oh shush you.” Maria joked, “This is different. You were a stubborn adult, Max is my stubborn baby.”

“I’m not a baby.” Max huffed in Maria’s chest.

Maria shrugged, “You’ll never know until you read that file honey.”

“I hate the file mom.”

“File? What file?!”

Max groaned, “Look what you’ve done now mom. Now mama is going to nag about it too.”

“I don’t nag!” Both women replied instantly, equally offended by their little teen.

“You’re parents. Parents nag.” It may have been meant as a slight insult, but to Maria and Nat it was the greatest compliment they had ever gotten. Still, Maria couldn’t resist teasing the girl a little bit.

“I take it all back.” Maria huffed, but she couldn’t hide her smile, “You’re not cute. You’re a menace. A little devil.”

Max chuckled at her teasing, tightening her grip on Maria as if she was trying to crawl inside her mom. Maria wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Can we get back to the point? What file?” Natasha interrupted, “What happened?”

“Let’s sit down, okay?” Maria pulled Max with her to the chair, the teen settling on her mother’s lap.

“You’re small but you’re not that small Tiny.” Maria joked but she wrapped her arms around the girl so she wouldn’t move away.

“Maria.” Natasha was as impatient as ever, getting more and more grouchy with each passing second.

Maria felt bad for her wife. She couldn’t imagine being in her position. Natasha was in so much pain, even with the amount of painkillers pumped into her blood, the redhead could barely move.

 And maybe, Maria thought, the pain would be the least of Natasha’s worries. Because pain fades. But waking up like that, after weeks, and having to try to piece together what had happened around her, that must be awful for her wife.

Reluctantly, she rushed through the story. How Sharon had shown up with documents on their girl, and how Max was still refusing to even touch the manila folder.

Every word Maria spoke was backed with a sigh or grumble from Max, eager to show her displeasure at the situation.

“So you don’t want to read it?” Natasha asked, “Why not?”

“Because ma! I don’t want to! Just get off my back!”

“Max!” Maria couldn’t help but scold the girl on her lap.

“Maxie, Мышка,” Natasha’s voice was nothing if not soft and understanding, “Be honest here sweetie, why don’t you want to read it? What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid… I just…” Max sighed deeply, her face hiding into Maria’s neck, “What good is it going to do? It… it won’t change anything. I just… I don’t know mama, I don’t know.”

“Honey, it’s your choice. It always will be your choice. But if I had a file like that… I would want to know. It won’t change the past, nothing can. But it won’t do anything bad either, knowing where you’re from. That won’t change anything either.”

Max nodded slightly against her, “But mama… I… I know I come from somewhere. I had parents once. I don’t… they didn’t want me, obviously. I know that, but I don’t want to see it written on paper.”

“Honey,” Maria spoke up, “You don’t know why they couldn’t take care of you, you don’t know. And you… you are everything we ever wanted Max. When I dreamt of how what our family would look like, you’re it baby. You’re smart and cute and you’re a good person Maxie. We love you.”

“I agree with her honey, you’re our kid. And no matter what happened with your… other parents, we want you.” Natasha said, “You’re our daughter.”

Max stayed quiet for a bit.

“Fine.” She sighed eventually, “I’ll read it.”

“You don’t have to read it right now Max, we just don’t want you to throw it away.”

Max shook her head, “No, I’ll read it now, if I don’t do it now, I’ll never do it.”


	38. Chapter 38

Natasha squeezed Maria’s hand as hard as she could, which wasn’t very hard at all. Even with all the nice drugs in her system, every part of her body ached as if she had been hit by a truck.

And she was tired. So so so tired. Natasha would give anything to close her eyes and sleep. But Max needed them both, no matter how much the girl denied it. She had to be there for her daughter.

Maria was still in the recliner, clutching her hand tightly. Max had moved to the extra bed, pulling a manila folder from underneath the mattress. She jumped up onto the bed, her too short legs dangling from the edge when she opened the file with a deep sigh.

Natasha didn’t know how to feel as she watched Max read in silence. She was happy that her little girl would finally know. She would give anything to know what her life looked like before Red Room, but she never got the chance.

She was scared too. Natasha had no idea what those dreaded papers would hold, but she didn’t want to see Max sad. Maybe they had pushed her too hard?

Natasha could feel the same nerves radiate off of her wife. Was this what being a parent was like? The second-guessing? The worry?

“Tiny?” Maria questioned softly, worried eyes fixed on the teenager.

Max was curling into herself, the file clutched in her hands. She was completely silent, but tears were running down her face.

“They died.” Max let out a small sob, “They’re dead. I… I always thought they didn’t want me… I hated them… but they’re dead.”

Natasha cursed her broken body when Maria did what she longed to do. Her wife rushed over to the girl and pulled her into a tight embrace, whispering to sooth the hurt.

“You didn’t know sweetie. It’s alright, you didn’t know. They understand. I know they understand honey.”

“They wanted me…” Max squeaked, “They wanted me, didn’t they?”

Maria smiled down at her, “They did honey. I’m sure they loved you so so much.”

Max sniffled loudly, but she flashed Maria a small smile, “Okay mom, you can let go now.” She shrugged Maria’s arms off, “I need to read the rest.”

Maria kissed her quickly before she could completely pull away and sat back down with Natasha.

“I feel a little useless.” Natasha whispered to her, “I can’t even hug her.”

“Ma don’t be ridiculous.” Max overheard her, “We’ll hug later, okay? I can wait.”

“But I can’t.” Natasha teased with a pout.

Max grinned and hopped off the bed, coming closer to Natasha.

The teen leaned down and kissed her forehead.

The grossest, wettest kiss Natasha had ever had.

Natasha gasped in mock horror but Max just looked smug and pleased with herself, chuckling when she pulled away. Nobody could get angry with that face.

“Oh come on Max!” Maria laughed in her face, “She can’t even wipe it off herself! Respect your old people a little!”

“I am not old!” Natasha huffed, but she couldn’t help the smile on her face. This is what family was supposed to feel like.

“Oopsie! Now let me read _moms_.” Max grinned, her eyes still a little teary.

“Alright, alright.” Maria wiped the spit off Natasha’s face, “Take your time though Tiny, you don’t have to read it all now.”

“I know mom, but I want to read it now.” Max turned back to her own bed, jumping back up and grabbing her file.

Any other day, that cute scrunched up face she made when she concentrated would have Natasha gushing and cooing. But now the silence made her more and more nervous with every passing second. She’d had seen Max cry too often already.

“I’m from Kosovo.” Max said after a while, not looking at either of them, “Kosovo. He… he bought me from the orphanage, 10.000 dollar. A few weeks after nine-eleven. That was 2001, right?”

“Yeah it was.” Natasha said, remembering those horrible images as clearly as the day they happened. There were no words for the fear and horror that had taken over the world that day.

“I was a baby. I was a baby in 2001.” Max tilted her head curiously, “So, I’m turning 15? Right? I’m 14 now.”

Maria nodded, “You are 14 baby.”

Max wouldn’t meet their eyes, staring at the file as if it held the answer to the secret of life, “I’m 14.”

“Are you okay baby?” Maria asked, a little worry shimmering through.

“Are you kidding me? This is the best news ever!”

“It is?”

“Hell yeah!” Max’s smile was wide and infectious, “That means I can still grow a bit, right?!”


	39. Chapter 39

Mama was sound asleep, the whole deal with the file really wore her out. She shouldn’t have stayed up so long.

But she did it anyway. For family, she said. Max still wasn’t too sure how she was supposed to feel about that.

Mommy had her book in hands, but Max knew she wasn’t really reading. She was too focused on every movement Natasha made. It was cute, Max thought, and it was nice to see how much Maria loved Nat.

Max knew she did, but seeing the love was another thing entirely. Maria got that look in her eyes when she watched Natasha. A glint. Like… like they shared a fun little secret. Max wondered what that was like. To adore someone the way her parents adored each other.

She wondered if her other parents, her biological parents, if they had looked at each other like that too. If they had looked at her like that.

Maria promised to find out who they were, so that Max maybe could go and visit their graves. To let them know that she turned out fine. Give all of them some closure, after 14 long years.

It was a weird number, 14. Max had always thought she was older, but then again, every day in that cell seemed like a long, hard eternity.

“You’re thinking very hard Tiny.” Maria suddenly broke the silence, “Anything you want to share?”

Max shrugged, “I’m fine mom. It’s just been a long few days. I just want to go back to normal.”

Maria patted her knee, “I know honey, we’ve had our fair share of worry, haven’t we? We’ll be home soon.”

“I hope so. I don’t want any more surprises. Ever.”

She shouldn’t have said it. Because the words had barely left her lips when there was a knock on the door.

Nick Fury was a scary man. Max had thought that when she saw him that one time, next to Maria when they saved her. His eyepatch and his long coat, his deep voice. It was all just very intimidating.

But Nick Fury carrying a bouquet of pink flowers, that was just downright terrifying.

“Hi Nick.” Maria smiled warmly at her boss, and _Nick_ nodded back.

“I heard she woke up.” He motioned with his free hand to Natasha, “Didn’t she?”

“She just fell back asleep, but she’s been awake a few times.” Maria shrugged, the crippling fear of before had faded into a slight, nagging worry, “She’s still hurting a lot.”

Fury nodded again, “Should I come back later?”

“No, it’s fine.” Maria seemed to genuinely appreciate him showing up, though Max wasn’t too sure why. Nick Fury was by no means an easy man. He didn’t talk much, so Max didn’t really get what Maria was so happy about.

He grabbed the chair in the corner and pulled it closer to Natasha’s bed. It was a sight to behold, the big, intimidating man awkwardly perched on a small plastic chair.

“I brought her flowers.” Nick held them out uncomfortably.

“I see that.” Maria smiled, “Peonies. Her favorites.”

If Fury wasn’t a super spy, Max was sure he would have blushed.

“Lucky guess.” He lied through his teeth.

Maria smiled knowingly, and it made Max feel a lot better. Clearly she wasn’t the only one who thought Fury had a soft spot for their redhead, but Maria wasn’t bothered by it, so Max figured she didn’t have to worry either.

“Thanks Nick.” Maria took the flowers from him, placing them on Natasha’s sidetable, “She’ll love them.”

“I’m not just here for flowers.” Nick announced gravely.

“I figured.”

“I have some… solutions. For all of you.” Fury’s voice grated on Max’s nerves. His deep voice made it seem like he was announcing someone’s dead. But Maria’s eyes didn’t betray anything. Max was just going to have to trust her mother’s judgment.

It was easier to do than she thought.

“I have an offer for Natasha, a new job.” Nick started, “But obviously, she doesn’t have to decide any time soon.”

“What is it?” Maria’s voice turned a little weary.

“We’d like her to train potential new Avengers. Her combat skills are the best I’ve ever seen. She’d be perfect.” He said calmly, “And it would mean no more foreign missions, like she asked. Well, barring any crisis.”

“I’ll ask her how she feels about that.” Maria said, and Max could see a hint of excitement in her eyes. She wondered why Nat would want to stop going on missions. But her answers would have to wait, because Fury continued.

“And I have some files for you. I made a shortlist of 5 people, qualified to become your assistant. The choice, of course, is up to you.” He smiled this time as he handed the folders over, “Again, take your time making the choice. We can wait.”

“Thank you so much Nick.”

“Max,” He turned to her with his one piercing eye and Max suddenly really felt like a 14-year old, “Would you like to stay with Maria and Natasha? Legally?”

“Fuck yes.”

“Language.” Maria scolded with a slight grin.

Nick seemed to smile too, it was difficult to say though, he didn’t really have facial expressions. Max wondered if he was even human.

“I put some agents on this. And we have an option for you.” Nick paused, “You will be the daughter of Maria’s brother and his wife. Sadly, they died in a car crash, and with Maria being your only family member, she will become your legal guardian, along with her wife of course.”

Max frowned, “You have a brother?”

“No I don’t.” Maria shook her head with a smile, “It’s a good background though, and you can actually be a Hill like that.”

“Why do I need it? Nobody is going to look into my life?” Max wondered.

“If you want to go to a regular school, you need a guardian. And since Maria and Natasha have been trying to adopt, they are on file as not having children.” Nick shrugged, “Kids don’t really tend to show up on your doorstep Max.”

Max took a second to process the information. Could she do this? Could she accept this offer? There would be no going back if she took it. Up until now, Max didn’t exist. Legally, she wasn’t even alive. There was no dossier about her, no file, no identity. Nothing.

It made her life, and her work, easier.

“Max? Are you okay honey?” Maria asked, “You don’t have to accept this. But I’d like you too.”

“I don’t know mom.” She shrugged, “I want to… but I’ve never… existed? It’s weird to suddenly exist? I think?”

Fury nodded, “I understand. But if it comes down to it, SHIELD can always make you disappear again. On paper, I mean.”

“I… Can I take it, mom? What will mama say?”

Maria grinned wide as ever, “Nat will be over the moon if you say yes. And I really, really want you to say yes.”

Max felt the nerves swirling through her body, scary with a hint of excitement.

“I think I would like your offer Director.”

“Perfect!” Nick clapped his hands, “But before I go, I have one more thing to offer you.”

There was a glint in his eye and Maria frowned at him.

“How would you like to become a SHIELD-agent?”

“I will fucking murder you Fury!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely, we're getting to the end. I have two more chapters for you guys today, and then I'm starting on the final epilogue :-) Leave a comment if you like it!


	40. Chapter 40

“I will fucking murder you Fury!” Maria shot out of her seat, ready to strangle the man with her bare hands.

How dare he?!

“Mom!” Max stepped between her and Fury.

“A SHIELD-agent?! She’s a _child_! My child!” Maria felt oddly proud when she saw Nick take a step back.

“Mom! I can make that decision myself!”

“No you can’t!” Maria answered without thinking, “You’re not becoming an agent and that is the end of that!”

Max glared at her coldly, “I can make my own decisions _Maria_.”

The words were like a slap to her face. How Max switched to her name, her face not betraying any emotion except irritation. It hurt.

“Max…” Maria said softly, “Sweetie, I… I can’t… This is no life for you. Not now. You’re too young. I… I want you to have a childhood first.”

The girl’s face seemed to soften, if only just a little.

“What else can I do mom?” Max questioned, “I won’t fit in, I can’t go to a school. Nobody… nobody is like me mom. At least here I can do something useful. Make up for the bad things I’ve done.”

“You haven’t done anything bad.” Nick spoke up, “You were sent after terrorists and mobsters. Criminals. And none of it was your choice.”

“Doesn’t matter, does it?” Max turned to him, and Maria hated how the girl seemed to beat herself up, “I killed them. I’m responsible in the end. I did it.”

“Tiny…”

“No mom, I think this is it for me. I can be a SHIELD-agent. I can try to be a good person…”

Maria desperately wanted to hug her daughter, “You are a good person baby.”

“Mooooooom! Just… I want to do this. Please?”

“Natasha will kill me if I say yes Max.” Maria grimaced, “And it will kill me if I say yes and something happens to you. Can I… Can I suggest something else?”

“Sure mom.”

“I… Nick, she’s smart. She’s so smart.” Maria could see Max blush, “She almost beat me at chess. It’s incredible. I think, with the right training, she could be the best analyst we’ve ever had.”

“You just don’t want me in the field.” Max grumped in protest.

“Of course I don’t want you in the field.” Maria smiled at her, “But it’s true. She’d be a good agent, sure. But she’d be much better as a handler.”

Nick’s face didn’t betray any emotion.

“Come on Nick!” Maria wasn’t begging, but she would if it came down to it, “Anything but a field agent.”

“Mom!”

“What about the academy?” Nick asked.

“The academy?” Maria frowned, she wasn’t too sure what he meant. She didn’t want her girl in the field, no matter how well trained and prepared. She couldn’t care less about that.

“We’ll send her to SHIELD academy. Let her develop her own talents.” Nick suggested, “And when she graduates, we’ll see what she chooses. I can’t send a child into the field anyway.”

Maria looked at her daughter, hopeful, “What do you think?”

“School? I don’t want to go to school mom! I don’t need it. I’m ready!” Max protested, “Come on mom! I can take you down with my hands behind my back.”

“I don’t care about that Max!” Maria raised her voice, she was frustrated and tired and desperate to make the girl understand, “You are my daughter! And I’m the second in command here! I don’t want to be the one to send you to your death! I can’t do that! You need to understand this honey.”

Max sighed deeply and Maria knew her point had come across.

 “SHIELD academy is a fun place. You can excel in everything there, and I know you don’t really need the training, but just see it as some playtime, a little break. And a chance to learn our protocols.” Maria coaxed, “And just imagine, if you do good, you can be director one day.”

Max rolled her eyes with a small smile, “Those are children’s dreams mom.”

“You are a child, so that’s kinda perfect.” Maria couldn’t help but tease.

“Fiiiiiine.” Max threw her head back with a groan, “I’ll go to your academy.”

Fury smirked in a decidedly un-Fury-like fashion, “Maybe you’ll even be an Avenger one day.”

“NICK!”


	41. Chapter 41

“Where’s Bump?” Clint slumped down into the recliner across from her.

Natasha was grateful for his visits, especially now that she could sit up a little so that she could look him in the eyes to mock him. It gave her a much needed sense of normalcy.

“Bump?”

Clint’s eyes twinkled happily, “Yeah, Bump. You know, a little _Hill_. It’s a bump.”

He looked so pleased with himself, Natasha had to glare at him. To balance out there dynamic.

“You’re calling my daughter a bump?”

“Not when she can hear me.” Clint joked, “But seriously, Maria isn’t here either?”

“I sent them outside, get some fresh air.” Natasha admitted, “It’s no good for them to be stuck here all day.”

Clint frowned, “They just left?”

He sounded skeptical and Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.

“You threatened them until they left, didn’t you?” He guessed.

A guilty but slightly satisfied grin appeared on her face, “Told them I would do jumping jacks until I popped all of my stitches if they didn’t get out.”

Clint’s loud laugh was something Natasha had missed too much. She had had enough pitiful looks and sighs from her family to last her a lifetime.

They tried to be positive and cheer her up, and with every improvement of her health, they moved a bit easier, breathed a bit more freely. But they were tired, emotionally and physically exhausted.

Max could barely go a day without a nap and Natasha knew that Maria had been reading that same page of her same book over and over again, because the words just couldn’t settle inside her too busy brain.

Natasha had to send them out, they needed a break. And she knew that as soon as the promised hour was over, Max and Maria would come rushing back in to fuss over her. And she loved them for it, she just wanted to take care of them too.

“You’re lucky to have them.”

Natasha nodded, “I know, they’re amazing. Clint… I’m a _mom_.”

“Yeah you are.” Clint chuckled, “We’re getting old Tasha.”

“I am not old!” She gasped but silently she agreed with him, her body just wasn’t recovering like it used to do, “Did Maria tell you about Fury’s offer?”

“Hmmm.”

“I think I’m going to take it…” Natasha felt like she needed to talk to him first. After all, they had been partners for years, best friends even. She wouldn’t be sitting there if it wasn’t for Barton.

“You should, you totally should.” Clint nodded, “I uh, I got an offer too. At the Avengers facility too. We won’t work together, but we’ll still see each other every day.”

“Clint you don’t need to take it for me. We’ll still meet up even if we don’t work together.”

Clint smiled, “I’m not doing it for you. But we are getting old Tash. And I have a family to think about too. You’re absolutely right to cut back a bit.”

“Laura will go mad if you’re home more often.” She joked at her friend.

“She married me, she’s already mad.”

Natasha hummed in agreement. They fell silent for a bit, both just contemplating their new lives, thinking about how much they had changed over the years.

When they met, Clint was still a rookie, a bit green behind the ears. Too impulsive and too stubborn for his own good. Natasha remembered that time she dyed his hair purple to match his uniform, at his request even. They had a great time together.

“I love you Tasha.” Clint whispered softly, “I… we had a great thing, you know? So… thank you. For putting up with me for all these years.”

Natasha chuckled, “Hey, we’re not dying. We just… won’t be partners anymore. But I’ll still be there to save your ass.”

“Yeah… Natasha? I know it’s not really us but… can I hug you? This feels like a hug-moment.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “It’ll break your heart if I say no, right?”

“Very much, I don’t think I’d ever recover.”

“Gently.” Natasha warned as she motioned for him to come over, “I’m old.”

Clint smiled widely and careful as ever he pulled her into a warm hug. Natasha would never admit it out loud, but she needed that hug just as much as he did.

Years and years of missions between them, and it was all coming to an end just like that. The memories they made, the stupid things they did, nothing could ever compare to their dynamic.

She’d never have another friend like Clint. He was more a brother than anything else. And she loved him.

“We’ll see each other every day, okay?” Clint whispered, “And we’ll have lunch together, yeah?”

“I promise.”

Clint pulled back with shimmering eyes, “This is stupid. Look at us.”

Natasha laughed, wiping her own tears away, “Bawling like little girls.”

“We’ll stick together. Terrorize the new baby Avengers. This will just be another mission for us, right?”

“I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else Clint.”

He chuckled, “Stop trying to make me cry woman!”

“I can’t help it that you cry easily!”

“Nattie? Can we come back in now?” Maria suddenly stuck her head inside the room, followed by their little Maxie.

Natasha looked at Clint, “We’re good?”

“Better than ever Tash.” He nodded, “I’ll let you get some family-time. Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure, if you’re still alive, old man.”

Clint chuckled loudly, grabbing his jacket from the chair as Max and Maria rushed back in.

“Hey Clint!” Natasha stopped him before he could leave, “I love you too.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter! I hope you all will like it!

 

Natasha could have cried with joy when the doorbell finally rang.

She’d only been home for a week, despite all of Maria’s protests.

Her wife, however adorable, was just too worried.

She insisted that Natasha stayed at the Medbay, even throwing around her rank to get her way. Natasha had never seen her act like that before. But after a tense negotiation, Maria had to concede.

And so Natasha went home. In a wheelchair and with strict instructions to rest, but home nevertheless.

After a few hours though, Natasha already started to almost regret going home. Maria had gone mad.

Absolutely batshit crazy.

She fluffed her pillows every few minutes, fussed over the brightness of their bedroom, cut her freaking food up like Natasha was a child, … It was tragic. Sweet, but tragic.

All the while Max just lingered in the background and stared. Like if she stopped looking for just a second, Natasha would disappear.

Neither of her loves slept, constantly hovering around her instead. Which in turn meant Natasha wasn’t getting any sleep either.

It was unsettling. And stressful.

The agitation and the lack of rest only made her headaches worse. So Natasha got grumpy, Maria got more fussy, she got stressed and then Maria got stressed… A vicious cycle had never been so… well… _vicious_.

So Natasha called for help. She wasn’t too proud to admit that the three of them were complete trainwrecks.

She just needed Max and Maria to see it too, hence the SOS-call.

Maria rushed to the door frantically, and Natasha could feel Max breathing down her neck, crouched behind the couch and no doubt glaring at the door like she could burn it down.

“Sharon? What are you doing here?” Maria smiled tiredly when she saw her blonde friend.

“You look like shit Hill.” Sharon didn’t beat around the bush, “I got a distress call from your disaster over there.” Natasha couldn’t even bother to be offended at the agent, who pushed her way past Maria and into their home.

“Natasha?”

“When was the last time you slept Maria?” Sharon completely ignored Maria’s questioning glance. That’s why Natasha called the blonde over Clint, Sharon Carter could not care less about Maria’s feelings regarding her wife.

Well, it wasn’t Maria’s feelings she didn’t care about, it was just Natasha she still didn’t like.

“You called _her_?” Max whispered behind her, her dislike for the blonde pretty obvious. Though after the taser incident, Natasha supposed Sharon didn’t like their daughter all too much either.

“What is happening here?” Maria’s voice was strained. Natasha hated seeing her wife so distressed, but it was a necessary evil.

“Call it a coup.” Natasha shrugged, “You need to sleep babe, so I called the drill sergeant to take care of you and me and the little rascal here are going to get some air.”

 “Natasha don’t be ridiculous!” Maria snapped, “You can barely stand, how are you going to go out? You need to rest!”

“And you need sleep!” Natasha argued, “So you’re going to take a nap and Max will take care of me. Right Maxie?”

“Natasha.” The way Maria sighed her name, so goddamn tired, that was the whole reason why Natasha had called Sharon.

“I’ll take care of her mom.” Max said quietly, “I don’t like it. But I’ll take care of her.”

Maria shook her head in defeat.

“Fine. But I swear to god Natasha, if you get hurt I will murder you.”

“And we’re taking the wheelchair.” Max added with a glare.

Natasha could only role her eyes. She had to agree with the duo or they would never take a breather. And honestly, she needed to get out of the house and get some fresh air as much as Maria and Max needed sleep.

“Great, let’s go then.”

 

* * *

 

Max insisted on pushing the wheelchair all the way to the closest parkbench. Which was a good thing really, because Natasha still hurt everywhere and she was sporting a nice red cast on wrist, scribbled with the names of everyone who came to visit. Except for Sharon of course.

“Ma, are you sure leaving her with Sharon is a good idea?” Max asked cautiously.

“I’m sure.” Natasha had her eyes closed, enjoying the warm breeze on her face though the sunlight was a bit harsh. Maria might have been right when she told her to take sunglasses.

_If only she weren’t so stubborn…_

“But ma, you do know that Sharon kinda…” the girl hesitated, trying to find a diplomatic way to express her feelings.

“I know. Sharon is in love with your mother.” Natasha said it for her, “She always has been.”

“Then why would you leave mom with her?!”

Natasha shrugged, “Because she cares about Maria. She’ll watch that woman like a hawk.”

“I do not understand your logic mama.”

“Honey, I’ve been with your mom for five years now, and not once has Sharon said anything about her feelings. She will care for your mommy, but she wouldn’t do anything to hurt us.” Natasha smiled, “Well, she gives me shit all the time, but that’s just her personality.”

Max nodded but stayed silent next to her. Her smaller hand nudged Natasha’s, quietly hinting. So Natasha grabbed her daughter’s hand, and she couldn’t keep the grin off her face even if she tried.

“So Maxie, what am I going to do to get you to sleep?”

“I sleep.” Max defended, but after a small glare, she added sheepishly, “With my eyes open?”

“Nice try.” Natasha chuckled, “I know you honey. And I’m worried about you. I want you to sleep.”

Max sighed dramatically, sagging against Natasha in a weird hug/snuggle position, “I don’t want to sleep mama.”

“But you have to little girl.” Natasha whispered, hoping to sound soothing, “What can I do to make it easier?”

“I don’t know…” Max mumbled.

“Hey kid, you can ask anything you want, okay? You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.” Natasha reassured her awkward teen, “We’ll do everything for you.”

“Maybe I can sleep when you’re there? And mommy too?” Max couldn’t quite meet her eyes when she said it.

“You want to sleep in our bed?” Natasha repeated, “Of course! Honey, you don’t even have to ask, you can always sleep in our bed.”

Max  looked at her with her big green eyes and for a second, Natasha felt like she was watching herself. There were so many questions in her eyes, so much confusion.

“Honey… we’re family, it’s normal.”

Max pulled a face, “You keep saying that! But I have no idea what it means! I don’t know what family is!”

The redhead paused, squeezing Max’s hand to calm her down a little. She understood what Max was going through, she’d never judge the girl for getting angry or upset.

Lord knew she drove Maria up the wall constantly when the woman was desperately trying to befriend her.

But raising her voice would do nothing, except give Natasha a worse headache than she already had. And she’d be damned if she had to return home early and interrupt Maria’s rest.

“Max.” Natasha said softly, “ _Мышка._ I can’t tell you what family is. It’s not really a thing. It’s a feeling, I guess. I’m no expert, I had to learn all this too.”

“But what if I don’t feel? What if I can’t…” Max’s eyes were clouded, “What if I can’t love?”

Despite how sore and achy she was, Natasha had to wrap her arms around her girl. Sometimes she tended to forget how young Max really was.

So small but forced to grow up so fast and so harshly.

Natasha remembered herself, a new SHIELD recruit. She had only just betrayed the Red Room, her country. The guilt of everything she had done woke her up every night, she couldn’t stand the quiet of her apartment because the screams of past victims would ring through her head until she collapsed.

She never believed she could love. Or that anyone would ever love her.

“Sweetie, I know this sounds so stupid, but the whole fact that you worry about… _that_ , it means you care.” Natasha kissed the girl’s forehead, hoping beyond hope her words would make a difference, “You care so much, you have so much feelings inside your tiny tiny body. And honestly sweet girl, the word love means nothing at all. It’s the feeling behind it. And I know how much you feel.”

Max chuckled a little, “You know, maybe you should try that whole Commander spiel of mom’s. You do great peptalks.”

“Hell no, I’m not going to try and keep the Avengers in check.” Natasha shook her head vehemently, “Your mom can have all that fun. I’m passing.”

“I like calling her mom.”

“I know you do Мышка, it’s fine. We like it too.”

“You sure?” Max had so many questions, so much doubt about their new life together, “Because I kinda pushed it on you…”

It hurt to see her so insecure.

“I’m more than sure. You’re our daughter. And we… you know… we love you.”

“I know. I still think that’s very weird though.” Max shuffled to lean more comfortable against Natasha, “So if you’re my mama, does that mean you’ll buy me ice cream now?”

 

* * *

 

“Now remember to be quiet, okay honey?” Natasha reminded her daughter behind her as they opened the door.

“I’m 14 mama, not 4. I remember.” She could practically hear the teenager rolling her eyes.

“Ah Disaster One and Disaster Two.” Sharon greeted them from the couch, “Maria has been in your bedroom for a few hours now. There’s pasta in the fridge for tonight, and Max for the love of God, wipe your face. You’re covered in ice cream.”

Max’s hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“I don’t know how you ever sleep Romanoff, your wife snores like a sailor.”

Natasha rolled her eyes with a fond smile, “She does not, she just breaths… heavily.”

Sharon smirked, “Oh that is not breathing. She’s louder than the helicarrier taking off.”

“It’s not that bad!”

The blonde agent raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“Thanks Sharon. Really. You saved us here.”

“Don’t mention it Romanoff.” Sharon stood up, grabbing her jacket, “Just call if Maria… if you guys need me.”

“I will.” Natasha nodded, “See you soon Carter.”

“Yeah, you too Romanoff-Hill.” The blonde nodded at them and left the apartment.

Max pulled a face, “Do I really have ice cream on my face? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Eh, I thought it was cute.” Natasha grinned, “Come on, let’s check on mommy.”

Max pawed at her mouth, grumbling at her mother as she followed her into the big bedroom.

Maria was curled up asleep on her spot, cutely clutching her pillow close.

“God I love her.” Natasha sighed as she watched her wife so relaxed.

“Can I nap with her?” Max whispered, “I won’t wake her, promise.”

“Only if you help me in the bed too.” Natasha winked, almost chuckling at how eager Max pulled the sheets back for her, supporting her mother as she gingerly laid down on the mattress.

“You good?”

“Yeah, get in here Maxie.” Natasha patted the spot in the middle of the bed, letting Max crawl over her to snuggle in between her mothers.

“Comfy little girl?”

“Very.” Max nodded settling her head against Natasha’s shoulder.

They closed their eyes, spending the next few minutes in silence.

“She does really snore, doesn’t she?” Natasha chuckled.

“It’s like she’s mowing down the entire rainforest in here.”

Natasha laughed, kissing the top of Max’s head, “But we love her.”

“Yeah, we do.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! I'm not crying! You're crying!   
> I had a great time writing this story, I hope you all liked it :-)


	43. EPILOGUE

“Alright, well, this is it! As you’ve seen on the drive over here, this is as secluded and remote as it gets.” The real estate lady flashed them a weary faked smile.

Natasha blessed the woman in every language she knew, and then some, for putting up with them. Not only did they show up with a ridiculously long list of requirements, Maria was also determined to pick apart every home they had seen thus far.

It put everyone so on edge, Natasha didn’t even bother with her own fake smile anymore.

“Looks good from the outside.” She said, giving Maria’s hand a warning squeeze. They hadn’t even entered the last house.

“It’s…” Maria’s eyes trailed over the home, “It’s not that bad. Needs a new coat of paint though.”

“I’ll paint it!” Max was quick to offer, “I’ll paint anything you need, just please mom, I’d like a home _before_ I’m old enough to move out.”

Maria rolled her eyes with a little smile, “Fine, fine, let’s check this place out.”

Natasha swore she saw the real estate agent sigh with relief.

“Perfect!” The lady dangled the keys in her hand, “Inside we go!”

Max hopped impatiently from one foot to the other, waiting for the door to open, “Can I? Can I?”

“Yeah yeah,” Natasha shook her head at her daughter’s antics, “Off you go.”

“But no…” Maria started but Max shot off like a miniature rocket, dashing into the house, “… running.”

“Jeez, did you give her coffee this morning?” Natasha asked her wife.

“Of course not!”

“Well, she’s been jittery all day.”

“It was an hour long drive, what do you expect? She’s got to stretch her legs.”

“She’s a teenager Maria, not a puppy!”

“Ahum.” The real estate lady cleared her throat with a pointed look at the bickering wives, “If you’d please follow me?”

“This is the living room, as you can see the kitchen over there is completely open, giving you the perfect view on the living area and the dining room right there.” She waved her arms around the large space like a flight attendant indicating emergency exits, “I don’t know if you’re planning on more children?”

Max dashed into the room, “Yup! I’m getting a brother, right?”

“Or a sister.” Natasha corrected for the hundredth time, “And nothing is certain yet honey.”

She didn’t want anyone to get their hopes up, the disappointed would only sting more. Personally, Natasha wouldn’t believe what anyone told her until she had a baby in her arms to prove it.

“Sisters suck.” Max pouted and before anyone could argue, the teen rushed off again to explore on her own.

“Sorry about that…” Maria grimaced, “She… has a very strong opinion about pretty much everything.”

“Wonder where she got that from.” The real estate agent muttered under her breath, “Well, this area is certainly spacious enough for little kids to roam around.”

Natasha let her eyes wander over the living room. She liked the openness of the space. And the lady was right about having enough room for kids.

She cast a look at her wife, who was glaring at the room as if she was trying to intimidate a rookie agent.

“What do you think?”

Maria shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s big. It just looks very… old.”

“If I may,” The real estate agent interrupted with a smile, “I think that we can blame that on the… poor choice of furniture.” Her eyes fell to the dated floral curtains and velour couches. It did look like a home decorated by a grandmother, “This building used to be an old farm but the owners renovated it completely about 10 years ago. It’s actually a very modern structure. Just very old fashioned taste.”

“It’s a lot of work Nat.” Maria sighed, “That wallpaper _has_ to come down, the kitchen looks like something my grandpa would have loved… the building itself is fine. All the rest is just… not.”

Natasha almost groaned in disappointment, even though Maria’s review might have been the most positive one they had yet received.

“We’ll get the guys to come help.” She offered, “Tony and Clint love to demolish things, Steve will be super pleased to be invited and you know Thor would love to learn about interior design on Earth.”

Maria grinned, “He would love that, yes. Okay fine, show me the rest of this place.”

“Right this way then!” The lady guided them down the hall, “You have your laundry area right here, very practical. This floor also has a full bathroom and one small bedroom. It could serve as a guestroom or you could transform it into an office space.”

“That would be great for you.” Natasha noted, “You can work in private and lock the door when you’re done. No children’s’ hands on our important paperwork.”

“Good point.” Maria mused, “We do need to replace all the windows though. I’d like something more sturdy if I’m taking work home.”

“Tony will come up with something.”

“Mom! Mama! You need to come upstairs! I want to show you my bedroom!” Max hollered down the stairs.

“We didn’t buy the place yet Tiny!” Maria hollered right back, “And _we_ decide which bedroom is yours!”

“Party pooper!”

Natasha could just feel Max’s pout, “C’mon honey, let’s just go upstairs with her.”

Maria glared, “You two are going to gang up on me to buy this place, aren’t you Romanoff?”

“That’s Romanoff-Hill for you.” Natasha grinned, “And no, we would _never_ gang up on you.”

“Sure you wouldn’t.” Maria narrowed her eyes with a fond smile that Natasha couldn’t help but return, “Fine, let’s go see this magical upstairs then.”

“Well actually, I haven’t shown you the basement yet.” The real estate lady said with a slight frown, “It’s pretty amazing, one of the largest basements I have ever seen. It could be perfect for workout equipment or even just an entire new bedroom.”

“Sounds great.” Maria nodded, “Upstairs now?”

“Please.” Natasha added with a frown pointed to her wife. _Poor real estate agent_. Natasha hoped the lady was getting a huge commission out of this. She deserved it.

“Upstairs.” The lady agreed, this time without the overly fake smile. Natasha couldn’t say she missed it though, “Now this floor is actually a lot bigger than it would seem. You have the master bedroom and three smaller bedrooms. And the attic actually has room for another bedroom if needed.”

“I don’t think we’re going to need _that_ much bedrooms right?” Natasha shot a slightly alarmed look at her wife who just smirked in response, “Maria?”

“You never know sweetheart.”

“Maria we’re not having _four_ kids.”

“Of course not.” Maria shook her head but the twinkle in her eyes made Natasha’s stomach do nervous flips, “Didn’t you pay attention? There’s another bedroom downstairs and the basement is large enough for a bedroom too. We can have _six_ kids.”

Natasha stared at Maria, seriously disturbed by the fact that she couldn’t see whether the woman was kidding or not.

“Six kids? You want six kids?” The color was draining off her face quickly at the mere thought of having five more little Max’s running around. She would not survive that.

“Nattie!” Maria swatted her arm with a chuckle, “Of course not. But it’d be nice to have the extra space, in case someone stays over okay?”

“Good good.” Natasha felt the air rush back into her lungs, Maria seriously freaked her out for a second, “No six kids.”

“No six kids.” Her wife repeated with a large grin, “Although, you never know what could happen…”

“Maria!”

“What?” Maria shrugged innocently, winking at Natasha’s flustered face before following their real estate agent to the first bedroom.

“This floor has a large bathroom, with a shower and a bathtub.” The lady seemed unfazed by their casual conversations around her, though Natasha knew she had already heard perhaps a tad too much about their private lives.

Max appeared again, bouncing on her toes behind them, a quiet but urgent reminder that they _needed_ to go check out her room.

Natasha wouldn’t admit it, but she felt just as excited as Max was.

The master bedroom was huge. Like, they might be able to fit their entire apartment into this one room. And though it was filled with ugly old furniture, Natasha could already imagine how beautiful this room would turn out to be.

“… and it also has a walk-in-wardrobe.”

“Sold!” Natasha couldn’t help the words slipping from her mouth, “Maria I need this place. We need this place. This is awesome!”

“And you haven’t even seen my room yet!” Max droned on, “You have to see my room! Come on ma, come see my room!”

“Alright alright! Don’t nag my ears off. Show me that wonderful room then.” Natasha grinned, feeling the buzz of excitement when Max grabbed her arm and dragged her to the room.

“Look ma! It’s awesome!” She moved to the large window, “See? This backyard is huge.”

Natasha stood next to the kid, admiring the view with her, “I think you picked yourself the best room little girl.”

“And see the tree? I can totally use that branch to climb up onto the roof.” Max’s grin was wide.

“If you do that, I’ll shoot you down.” Natasha deadpanned, “No roof adventures.”

“You used to be so much fun.” Max sighed disappointedly, “What happened?”

“You adopted me.” Natasha shrugged

“Hmmm. Good point.”

“Wow, what a view.” Maria entered the room, “You picked well Tiny.”

“I know.” Max grinned smugly, “And mom, can I…”

“No.”

“But you didn’t even listen!” Max whined like a little child.

“You want to paint the room black, the answer is no.”

“But moooooooom!”

“Nope.”

“Fine.” Max huffed, “What about…”

“No dark blue either.” Maria raised an eyebrow at Max’s groan.

“And…”

“No dark purple.”

Max took a deep breath, but Maria immediately shook her head, “No _very very dark_ grey either, Max.”

The teenager threw her head back with a loud groan, “You guys are no fun!”

“You’ll get to pick another color, okay?” Natasha was quick to comfort her, “Just maybe something a little more… happy?”

“I want black.”

“You’re not getting black and that’s the end of it Tiny.”

Max glared at her mother, “Fine. Then I want a puppy. A big puppy. A great Dane puppy.”

“A puppy?” Natasha repeated, “You want a puppy? You know you’ll be responsible for it, right?”

“I can be responsible!” Max argued, her black paint issue seemingly already forgotten.

“You’ll have to feed him, train him, walk him, play with him.” Natasha warned, “Put him in bath, clean his poop.”

“I don’t have to clean his poop.”

“Well, who else is going to do it?”

“Mommy?” Max tried sheepishly, “Okay fine, no puppy. Back to my black room then!”

“Maxie not now, we’ll talk about that when we actually have a house.” Natasha sighed.

“But I want this house.” Max said simply, “We’re getting this house, right?”

“We’ll see.” Maria shrugged, “We’ll have to talk about it. We don’t even know what it costs yet. And there’s a lot of work too.”

“The work isn’t an issue though.” Natasha argued softly, “And we don’t have to worry about the money.”

Maria seemed uncomfortable, “Still, the area isn’t fenced off, anyone could get onto the property.”

“We can ask Tony to…”

“I have an idea!” Max squeaked with newfound excitement, pulling pen and paper from somewhere, “Okay look, we’ll build a full-plate metal fence all around the property. Put barbed wire on top, of course.”

The girl started sketching like mad, “And then we put electricity on the fence, to fry anyone who touches it.”

“Max…”

“And then as a second layer, if they pass the fence, we have a moat.”

“A moat?”

“Yup! With piranhas!” Max doodled a picture of mean-looking fishy.

“No piranhas Max.” Natasha shook her head, “Just… no.”

“Okay fine, no piranhas.” Max scratched her doodle and then grinned even wider, “Crocodiles!”

“What? No!” Maria took the paper away, “No crocodiles! No moat!”

“But we didn’t even get to the lasers yet…” Max pouted.

“Definitely no lasers!” Maria argued, “We’ll ask Tony to come up with something. Something that preferably doesn’t kill anyone.”

“Fine, no super fence.” Max’s eyes twinkled with mischief, “But I bet that black room sounds like a way better option now, right mom?”

“Ugh!”

Natasha squeezed Max’s shoulder, “Take it easy on your mom kid, you’re pushing a little too hard. We’ll talk about your room at dinner okay? Not before, or it’s a definite no.”

Max’s head swiveled around to look at her mama, the one who usually always agreed with her, her partner in crime.

“You!” She pointed an accusing finger, “You read mom’s parenting book!”

Natasha grinned guiltily, “I might have thumbed through it a little bit.”

“Traitor.” Max glared at her, but Natasha knew her baby wasn’t really mad at her.

“I prefer the term mother, but whatever floats your boat honey.” Natasha smirked, “Come on now, the real estate lady looks like she’s going to kill us.”

They politely followed the rest of the tour like a nice standard model family. The lady pointed out some more features, like the giant backyard and two smaller buildings that would be perfect for their training.

It was like the house was build exactly to their needs.

“So what are we talking in price?” Maria wondered.

“It’s actually perfectly within your budget. The owners are asking 550, but I’m sure they’ll sell it for 500.”

“No, 550 is fine.” Maria shrugged, “I’m not taking away 50 grand from someone. But, uh, we still need to talk about this.”

“Babe, do we really need to talk?” Natasha asked, “I want this place. Max wants it. It’s all down to you.”

“You guys really want this?” Maria’s question was met with two eager nods, “Okay, fine. We’re getting this place.”

Max cheered loudly and Natasha couldn’t resist rushing into her wife’s arms. Max’s enthusiasm was infectious and soon they were all hopping up and down with happiness.

“And Tiny,” Maria smiled softly, “If you really want it, we’ll get some kind of black wallpaper for your room. Just no paint because… OOF!”

Maria lost her breath as Max propelled herself full force into her chest for a tight hug.

“Thank you mommy! Thank you thank you thank you!”

Natasha smiled widely when Maria pulled her into the hug too, squishing their little girl between them.

“I think we found ourselves a home Nattie.”

Natasha nodded, “I think so too.”

Max frowned when the women pressed around her turned suspiciously quiet, “You guys? You’re not kissing right? Moms? You’re not kissing right?! EEEEW! Oh my god! You guys are totally kissing right above my head! BOUNDARIES MOMS! BOUNDARIES!”

“Oh, so what? You think kisses are gross?” Natasha questioned a smirk pulling at her lips, “Huh? Kisses are gross, baby girl?”

“Uh-oh.” Max realized her disadvantage as soon as Maria squeezed her tighter, lifting her up in the air and turning her around so she was facing her mama.

“Don’t!” Max warned, trying weakly to wriggle out of Maria’s tight grasp, “Mama!”

“Me? I wouldn’t dare do anything to my sweet little baby.” Natasha looked just downright evil as she grabbed Max’s flailing hands, “My sweet little girl that I love oh so much.”

“Ma! No!” Max wriggled but more with giggles than in an actual attempt to break free.

“You know what happens when you think kisses are gross Tiny.” Maria grinned widely, “KISS ATTACK!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Max wailed with laughter, Maria and Natasha attacking every bit of her face with soft kisses, “Mooooooooms! Noooooo! Let me gooooooooo! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMS!”


End file.
